I wanted to tell him that this was different. When Elin left, I didn’t talk because I’d known how hurt he would have been when I said I was glad she’d gone.
“Justin and you are my family. But Kyle was...”
“Your brother.”
I swallowed a lump of pain. “He was the only one of them who wanted me.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
“Talking makes it too real,” I finally said, shaking my head.
“Then don’t.” He pulled the pillow from my arms and lifted me onto his lap, cuddling my head to his shoulder like he did the first time he’d found me cowering in my bed. Back then, he’d unknowingly protected me from Elin’s wrath, now he protected me from the aftermath.
I closed my eyes and sank into his embrace, letting the tears and hurt flow out. Tomorrow I would face the reality of Kyle’s death. I was supposed to be their cure. Instead, I was the reason Elin was coming back. I was the reason my brother died.
Chapter 27
The ride to the cabin was different this time. Any enjoyment at spending time with Tristan was erased by the devastating reason for the trip. Even Justin sat subdued in the backseat.
I needed the calm the ride gave me. Lukas would be at the cabin, and I was determined to keep my promise to myself, that I wouldn’t let the past control me anymore. I could handle this. I had too, for Samara. For Kyle.
We gathered at the waterfall. All Lycan, except Justin and me. Even Ericka had come. Samara stood next to her at the water’s edge holding a golden urn. She was ethereal in her pale gray gown. A breeze pulled at its flowing length, billowing it like wings. Wisps of her pale blond hair fluttered around her impassive face.
Ericka stepped forward, her voice breaking the silence. “Kyle was strong. Strong in spirit and in his belief that what he was doing was right.” She paused and her eyes fell on me. “He was not a sacrifice, but a warrior like his father’s people.”
Others stepped up, sharing their own memories of Kyle and tears blurred my vision as I realized these strangers knew my brother better than I did. I had thought they would resent my presence here. I was the reason he was dead, yet their words all spoke of Kyle’s willingness to defend me. Finally, Tristan took his turn. He let go of my hand and turned to face the crowd.
“The first time I saw Kyle he tried to save my life. Ericka is right, Kyle was a warrior and he died fighting. I didn’t ask Kyle to watch over Janie, he volunteered. He saw his place in life as a protector of those who can’t defend themselves. His spirit thrived on the fight and nobody could have stopped him from protecting Janie.” His voice cracked and I ached to put my arms around him. “He was a brother to me. And I will never forget that he died saving Janie.”
Samara opened the urn, tilting it to gently sift Kyle’s ashes into the water that fell from the rocks above. When it was done, she knelt and placed the urn on the ground. Leaning forward, she dove into the pool. She surfaced briefly before going under again and reappearing at the point she’d entered. Slowly she pulled herself out and let Marissa cover her with a towel.
No one spoke. The mourners parted as she passed through to the trail, and then began to follow behind her. As she passed me, our eyes met. The anger I expected wasn’t there, only resigned despair. A sob burst from her lips. Before I could reach for her, Ericka was there supporting her. I waited with Tristan until we were the only ones left.
“What do we do now?” I asked.
“We stick to the plan. Nothing.”
Nothing.
The next day, nothing seemed to be taking forever.
I sat on the couch in the living room watching the flames lick the sides of the fireplace. Tristan, Justin, and Seth had gone out to do some hiking, leaving me with the girls and Lukas. Lisa had gone to the gym and was working on trying to track down Elin and Kas. Samara was in bed and Katrina was baking. Everyone was trying to find a way to block out the pain.
Lukas sat across from me now, his eyes boring into me. I wanted to walk away, but I refused to budge, simply to defy my own self. I held a book open and my eyes glued to the page but I didn’t read anything, just stared at the black dots.
“My grandmother was a medicine woman.” His gravelly voice startled me, and I looked at him. “She was gifted in the old ways and could heal anyone she encountered. Until my grandfather fell ill.”
He rubbed his hands nervously across his thighs. “Warriors, chiefs, buffalo runners. Our tribe was strong once. My grandfather left the reservation, to find hope and life. Instead he found the mines.”
He looked away from me, giving me the chance to leave, to not hear this story about my grandparents. I sat.
“His lungs rotted from the poisoning, and nothing she did worked. The old chants and medicines had lost their power. When he died, so did she.”
I had heard the stories of the Libby mines and the excruciatingly painful death brought on by asbestos poisoning.
“You may not claim me as your father, but claim them. Claim the warriors who rode the plains, who battled the white man, who fought for their freedom.” He turned his eyes back on me again. “The spirit of the Wolf came to me and showed me your path. You’ll need to claim them to win against her, Janie. You’ll need to be the healer you were meant to be. The warrior I should have been.”
Still I didn’t move. I wasn’t sure why he was telling me this, if it was his way of apologizing, or of giving me a sense of family, but I didn’t move. I found my voice, “You had a vision?”
“The spirit of the Wolf has guided me since I was a boy. He came to me last night and I saw a battle for you, for our town.”
“What is all of this supposed to mean?”
He rose from his seat and came towards me, placing his hand on my shoulder. He paused and glanced down at me. “It was a warning. A warning for me to protect you. For you to fight.”
“How? Elin is a Lycan. There’s no way I can fight her.”
“It’s in you, Janie. You just have to find it.”
“You mean I’m infected? Wouldn’t I have already shown symptoms if I was going to be a shifter?”
“It’s more complicated than that. Elin fights for every ounce of power she can get but she fears you more than anything, more than anyone.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, Janie. I’ve searched my memory for anything she may have said before I left, but nothing made sense back then.” The way he turned his eyes from me made me wonder if maybe he did know but was afraid to tell me. “I left you with Elin, knowing what she could do. I can’t risk your life again.”
He left then, trudging up the stairs. I wasn’t sure why he had told me about my grandparents, or his vision. Perhaps he was just trying to make a connection, but part of me questioned such an innocent motive from this man. He had turned his back on me and that alone made me wonder if his vision and warning were more veiled than they should have been.
He couldn’t risk my life. How many times had Elin come close to killing me while he was here, helping to raise his other children? Words wouldn’t change everything I’d gone through.
“Nothing will ever fix it.” A voice behind me answered the words I’d unknowingly spoken aloud.
I turned around to see Ericka standing in the frame of the kitchen door. She smiled crookedly and moved into the room, perching herself on the edge of the recliner Lukas had been seated in.
“There is so much Lukas doesn’t understand or know about Helena. She was always manipulative, twisting people around her finger, making them willing to do anything for her. I’m surprised she let him leave.” Her gnarled hands fidgeted in her lap, almost disguising the slight tremble. “I knew one day you would come, that you would change everything for us. Many in town are scared, more afraid of what you could possibly do once you change than what Helena and Kas will do when I’m gone.”
She shifted to the side until she slid onto the cushion of the recliner, resting on the edge. I didn’t say anything,
mainly because I doubted her as much as I doubted Lukas. Maybe she hadn’t known about me or left me with Elin, but she wasn’t exactly jumping at the opportunity to protect me now that she did know about me.
Her eyebrows arched as she waited for me to say something, until finally she sighed with resignation. “Helena is my daughter, a part of me. I love her and there is nothing she could do that would stop me from loving her.” Her eyes flittered to the side before focusing back on me. “I will do what I can to protect you, but I don’t know if I have the strength to stop her. Lukas is right; you will have to fight her.”
“And Kas? Will you let him get away with what he did to Kyle?” Anger burned in my heart. Did she love Elin so much that she would let a murderer go free?
“No, Kas will get what he deserves, but for now the best way to keep you safe is to let him live.” She scooted back in the seat. “Helena needs to think she’s succeeding if we want to draw her out. You, my dear, are the bait.”
Chapter 28
“No.”
“What do you mean no?” Tristan sputtered.
“Exactly that. No.” I resisted the urge to stomp my foot. “I’m not going to stay locked up anymore.”
“Janie, be reasonable.” Tristan turned his eyes on me with full puppy dog power. “It’s too hard to see everything out there. It’s safer for you inside.”
“If I’d known you were using this trip as an excuse to lock me up I’d never have come.” I pushed away from the table and reached for my hat. “I’m going out. It’s finally stopped raining. I want to be warm and sunburned. I want to be outside.”
He took a step towards me, while Justin and Seth watched the altercation in fascinated humor. I raised my hand, a meaningless gesture considering his strength and speed. “Don’t. I know you can stop me but please don’t.” A touch of desperation clung to my voice and I hated it.
Lukas’s words from the day before were tumbling together with the anxiety of Elin’s impending arrival, causing nausea to burn in my throat. I need the air, and the freedom to not be that fearful old Janie.
He sighed and took my hat from my hands, and instead of hanging it up, he resignedly settled it on my head. “But Seth and I come, too.”
“All right.” Not the perfect scenario, but I was willing to compromise.
We loaded into the truck and drove the short trip to the base of the trail.
The fresh mountain air was liberating. Being stuck in the cabin under the watchful eyes of Katrina and Lisa was bad enough; the fact that Lukas had been hovering made it even worse.
His words echoed through my mind, the healer you were meant to be. The warrior I should have been. I could be the cure. I could heal them.
“We’ll head back on Monday.” His words were jarring; going home hadn’t even crossed my mind. I wasn’t ready yet. “Tim wants you back in time for your birthday.”
“Crap. I forgot about that. Lisa and I were supposed to go shopping on Fri…” My words drifted off as I saw Kyle lying in the dirt bleeding.
Tristan ignored my hesitation and pressed on, determined to stop my morbid thoughts. “We can go shopping on Monday.”
“We can’t go together! I still haven’t bought your gift.” Somehow, he’d managed not to tell me his birthday was a week after mine. I’d only found out because of Seth’s big mouth.
“So? I haven’t bought yours yet either, this way you can just get what you want.”
Incredulous, I stared at him. A small smirk cracked under the pressure of my gaze and I realized he was joking. “We’ll all go down to Montrose together. You and Lisa can go shopping. While Seth and I do guard duty. I promise not to peek when you get my gift.”
“Do you think it’ll be safe? I mean, Elin could...”
“She wouldn’t do that. She knows that if she exposes us now, Ericka would have no choice but to step in. Maybe keeping you out of town is the best idea.”
If I was safe then the others would be, too. But being safe wasn’t going to make Elin go away. It would only prolong the inevitable.
“I can’t be bait if I’m not around. Besides, Seth’s been holing up in the tree in front of the house. I think he likes taking the night shift.”
While Seth had taken up night guard, Lisa had become my new best friend. The moment Seth left in the morning, she was at the door, waiting until Tristan arrived. They’d moved like clockwork protecting me inside, while Kyle had guarded me from outside.
I swallowed a thick lump that formed at the memory of him.
“I love you.” Tristan pressed his lips against the top of my head.
“I love you, too.” I said back. The first time saying those words had been so difficult, but now they flowed so naturally, as if I’d used them my entire life.
We curled into each other in the shade of the tall fir trees. Glimmers of sunlight peeked through the branches, scattering spotlights along the path. For those peaceful moments, everything was right in my world. Lycan fell back into myth and I was just a normal girl in love with a normal boy. I reached up and pulled his head down to mine, wanting the feel and taste of him to fill my senses.
“Tristan?” Seth’s voice came from up the path. Pulled out of the moment, I unwrapped myself from Tristan to look at Seth. He’d stopped at the end of the trail, anxiety marring his boyish face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Something’s not right.”
“What do you mean?” Tristan straightened abruptly.
Seth shook his head and held up a hand. “I don’t know, but listen.”
We held our breath and then there it was – the absence of sound. My heart took over then, blood pumping through me so ferociously until the only thing I could hear was the pulsing of my own fear.
“Let’s go. Back to the cabin.” Tristan grabbed my hand, pulling me close to his side. He turned back towards the cabin and began running, Seth followed close behind, guarding Tristan’s back. We moved quickly, but time seemed to slow as every step took too long.
I should have listened to Tristan and the others. As frustrating as it had been to wait for Elin to strike, it had been even more foolish to come into her territory.
I turned my head to the side, staring through the trees, searching. There. A flash of white; another just behind it. The next flash was closer. No longer two distinct shapes, they were joining together, almost becoming one as they gained on us.
“They’re behind us!” Seth yelled.
Tristan’s body tensed and he pushed us harder. They drew closer and Tristan veered to the left, leaving the worn footpath and into the trees. I was slowing him down. The white flashes took shape, two white wolves, Elin and Kas. Blood rushed to my head. Dizziness melded with fear, bile crept up my throat.
Seth ran between them and me, blocking my view. “I’m going for help,” he shouted.
Tristan didn’t respond, just kept moving. Seth glanced at me and our eyes meet briefly, then he was shifting. It took only seconds and he was racing through the woods ahead of us.
We had hope. Seth could run much faster than I could. He’d reach the cabin and get the others. Now I just had to keep up with Tristan. Keep ahead of Elin and Kas. My lungs burned and my legs ached to slow and rest. Still I pressed on, refusing to give up.
Seth’s brown fur made him difficult to see as he became a distant spot between the trees. Then I saw it, at the same time as Tristan who swore under his breath. Another wolf had appeared, moving in on Seth from the side. It was larger than I’d seen before and moved with an intent that was unmistakable. It lunged at Seth, and they collapsed to the ground. There was a brief moment when they danced around each other, before they were rolling.
Tristan shifted direction away from Seth and we darted through the dense forest. Branches snagged my hair, ripping out strands. I covered my face with my arm, knocking my hat off. I peeked back a few times to watch their advance. They were only feet behind us, and unlike me were completely unwinded. There was no way we would out
run them.
“Tristan, I can’t…Go! Leave me! Get Seth…”
“I’m not going to leave you.”
“I can’t keep going,” I gasped, stumbling over an exposed tree root.
When we reached a small clearing, Tristan stopped suddenly. Turning to face them, he tucked me into his side. Legs trembling from fear and exhaustion, I clung to him.
They didn’t follow us into the clearing, pacing the edge, close enough for us to hear them, but still hidden within the brush.
“They herded us,” I said, seeing the clearing through Elin’s eyes. It was the perfect place to corner someone, nowhere to hide or run to.
Elin stepped out first followed by Kas. Both were in their human forms and wearing the white clothing my mother loved. We had ended up right where they had planned. What else were they hiding in the trees around us? Another ally, maybe weapons?
Her face was the same as I remembered from my nightmares. Beautiful. Flawless. Blond curls hung down her back, creating an angelic appearance that hid her true nature.
Tristan stepped in front of me. Just as in my dreams.
“What do you want?”
“You know what I want. I want Janie.” Her voice was sickly sweet, belying the acid tongue I knew she possessed.
“Why?”
“Tristan, really. She’s my daughter. I just want to speak with her. We have so much to catch up on.” I peered around Tristan to see her smiling.
“I’m not as gullible as Lukas.” Anger surged through his words. “Why do you want her?”
It triggered Elin’s own anger and her smooth skin creased as her eyes narrowed. “I always knew you would be strong. When I first saw you, I knew it would be you. I knew you would bring her to me.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Jealousy in Lukas’s little broad runs deep. Rachel was kind enough to share her knowledge with me, knowing I planned to take out her competition.”
Waken (The Woods of Everod Book 1) Page 22