I wanted to puke at the depth of Rachel’s betrayal. It didn’t matter if we were friends or not; we were sisters.
Elin’s gaze settled on me. “When you were a baby, I considered killing you. So many times, I could have snapped your neck. It would have been easy. After Lukas left I was so tempted.” Her twisted smile grew and I began to realize just how close I had come to dying. “You were pathetic, weak, like your father.”
I didn’t think it possible, but my heart squeezed painfully as my mother spoke of wanting to kill me. It shouldn’t have surprised me, but it still hurt. So deep inside I hadn’t even known it was there, had been a glimmer of hope that she loved me, that she was sorry. Now that glimmer was a shriveled mass sitting in the pit of my stomach.
Elin reached her arm back, linking her fingers with her companion’s. “Kas and our friends have been so helpful, keeping me informed.”
Tristan’s breath hissed out. “It’s no secret that Kas is a traitor.”
“Traitor to whom? To those of you who would choose to be human? The number of Lycan who seek that life might be smaller than you think.” Elin laughed.
“And my death will give you what you want?” I asked.
“Not what I want. What I need.”
“Why wait?” My fingers clenched in Tristan’s jacket.
“I always knew something about my grandmother’s promise wasn’t right. I spent years studying my grandfather’s notes. Clara may have been a doctor, but she had no idea what my grandfather was really doing. She thought Amelia was immune. She was wrong. And I couldn’t kill you until I knew exactly what that meant.”
Chapter 29
“You lie,” Tristan said and lunged at Elin. She raised a hand to push him aside. His momentum carried him to the ground, scattering leaves and dirt. She reached down and lifted him with one hand around his neck, until his feet dangled in the air. She laughed at his stunned look.
“Oh, dear. You didn’t think you could beat me did you?” She dropped him and he moved back to my side, rubbing his neck.
“Enough,” Kas snapped, stepping up to Elin. “Give her to us, Tristan.”
Elin raised her hand towards us. “You know it’s inevitable. Whether she dies and gives you the pathetic human life you claim to want, or if she dies giving me what I want, it will happen.”
“She’s immune. She has the mark,” Tristan said.
Elin lifted her hand and gestured to me. Kas smiled and surged towards us. At that moment, Tristan sprang forward meeting him mid-step. Kas and Tristan struggled to shift, but neither could concentrate enough, their features morphing back and forth between man and animal. Horrified, I watched frozen, in a replay of Kyle’s death.
Tristan wrestled Kas to the ground, straddling him. He pounded his fist into Kas’s face over and over. Each thump brought a gush of blood from Kas’s nose. Tristan was winning. Kas squirmed under Tristan’s assault, trying to snake out from under him. But Tristan was heavier, his frame more muscular and Kas’s fight had weakened. Tristan raised his fist again; I didn’t want to hear the disgusting sounds of him pummeling Kas. But this man deserved the beating. He deserved to die for what he’d done to Kyle.
Elin was suddenly behind Tristan and, with her hands on either side of his head, twisted sharply. I heard a sickening snap. He went limp, falling to the ground. Disbelief flooded me.
“No!” The scream tore from me. I surged towards him and crumpled to the ground. I pressed my lips to his, desperate to give life to my dream. Again and again, I tried to breathe my life into him. He remained still, lifeless. My skin was smooth, the soft tingle of his presence gone.
My face was wet with tears, ragged sobs erupting from me. I pressed harder, determined not to lose him. I felt defeat overwhelm me as my lips bled from the cut of his teeth on my skin. My grip on him loosened and one last time I kissed him, tasting the last sweet breath that lingered at his mouth blended with the metallic of my blood.
My hands shook as I caressed his face. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the sky, no pain or love, just a glassy film. My heart had been ripped out of my chest, and lay before me unmoving. How could I go on knowing that Tristan was gone and I was alive?
I could hear the murmur of voices, knew that Elin and Kas were planning how to kill me. I laid my hand over Tristan’s, feeling the coolness of his skin. The heat I had depended on from him wasn’t there. I was the warmth now. I could feel it building in me, the rage and desire to kill them both.
Rising, I ran at them, my fists flying. The contact they made did no damage. With every strike, I screamed my anguish. They laughed at my useless efforts, enraging me further, until drained, I sank at their feet. Elin’s laugh was sickening, blending with Kas’s into a maniacal shriek.
“Why are you doing this?” I cried.
She stared at me, her eyes glazed with contempt. “Lukas was so easy to manipulate, to fool. When his sister was unable to have children, we knew that Lukas was the only hope of having the promised child. By then I already knew the cure didn’t exist and that you would be so much more. I pursued him. I just hadn’t counted on him to be running around with a bunch of shifters and new bloods, too. He just couldn’t keep his pants zipped. He was so stupid.”
She leaned over me and grasped my chin, forcing my face up. “Your body was not immune, just resistant to the infection. Each time I tried to infect you, your body took it in, burying the infection deeper.” She spit the words at me before flinging my face away from her, jerking my neck. “Ericka told me the truth of the promise, the part she hid from everyone. Tristan and the others believed they could be cured, but there is no hope for them. Your blood will give them abilities beyond what even they can conceive. With your blood I will create a new breed of Lycan.”
“You lie,” I sobbed, echoing Tristan’s words. Nothing she said made sense to me. I didn’t want it to make sense. “Ericka would have told them.”
“Oh, my darling daughter,” she said, her lips curling up. “I’ve had a taste of what you would become.” She snagged my arm, twisting it painfully so the underside was exposed. With her other hand, she trailed a long finger down a three inch scar along my wrist from the car accident the last time I’d seen her. “I know what they’ll become, because it’s what I became when I drank your blood.”
Her fingers tightened, crushing my bones and I screamed in agony. “Strength, speed, and power; everything my grandfather failed to give us is now mine. Given to me by you. When I first tasted your blood, I felt life flowing through me. Then gradually the rest grew, even now I can feel myself getting more powerful every day.” She dropped my wrist and turned from me, laughing.
I withered in excruciating pain, cradling my arm until numbness filled my hand. “If you have the power you want, then why worry about killing me?”
I stared at her and Kas, waiting for their next move. Elin smiled and it suddenly made sense why she wouldn’t want me around. I obviously didn’t have to die for someone to gain the same powers she had just from drinking my blood. Getting rid of me was the only way she could ensure she gained Alpha status.
“Elin, can we move this along?” Kas spoke from behind her, his eyes watching me. She nodded and he came close to me, kicking me in the ribs. I winced from the pain and looked to Tristan. I could stay here and let them kill me. I could be with him again. I could give in to the pain and let it carry me to him.
I crawled over to him, feeling Kas tracking my movements. His foot slammed into my thigh, and I crumpled against Tristan with a cry. The touch of his cold skin was startling. The warrior I should have been. The words echoed through me. Tristan wouldn’t want me to lie here and die. Every moment we had together he had encouraged me to face life and accept the pain that came with it. I couldn’t imagine a greater pain than this, yet I was alive. I still had a choice.
“Come on, Janie, this is no fun. Run, Janie.” He kicked me again and I scrambled from his reach, getting to my feet. “Run!” His roar was deafening. I ran.
In my dream, I ran to the cabin, but I had no idea which direction to go. So, I ran towards the trees, into the forest. My heart was back, pounding sharply, agonizingly. I didn’t know where I was going, only that I couldn’t stop. They were behind me, stalking me. I glanced over my shoulder. Elin hadn’t even shifted, knowing that even as a human she was able overpower me. I stumbled on the path leading to the waterfall.
I could hide there. Justin had told me about a cavern behind the falls that Seth had shown him. If I could make it, I had a chance. They had slowed, trying to make the chase more fun. I ran faster, jumping over the logs that lay across the trail. When I reached the pool, I quickly climbed across the rocky face of the cliff, struggling one-handed. I passed through the falls and found myself in a small cave.
I curled up on the floor shivering and cradling my crushed wrist to my chest. A fine mist from the falls sprinkled my face, mixing with my tears. I couldn’t feel anything. Allowing the sobs to come, I prayed that the thunder of the water would deafen them to my cries, yet a small part of me yearned for discovery so I could join Tristan.
I thought back to our first night together. He had been so sweet and funny, teasing me about my favorite singer and laughing at his own bad attempts at a Bela Lugosi voice. I remembered the way he had sheltered me after the crash and his silent support when I met Lukas. Before Tristan, I had been in a shell trying to hide from pain, but I’d also been hiding from love and happiness. He had given me those, awakened me to how much I’d been missing. I didn’t know how to find those things without him. I was being thrust back into that shell, only worse, because I knew love, how much it can consume you. And most of all I knew the reality of pain, of loss and love. Elin and Lukas had scarred me, but this…I wasn’t sure I could even survive.
I had let myself start believing I was the cure. Maybe it was the dreams or the convictions of the others, but it had built slowly. Yet, I’d failed. My dreams had simply been wishes of an unconscious mind. The promise had been wrong. I hadn’t saved anyone; I wasn’t even sure I could save myself or if I wanted to.
“Janie!” The faint call from outside the cavern quieted me. I leaned forward, swiping my eyes, trying to peer through the falls.
“Janie? Tristan?” Louder now. Seth! I pushed to my feet, rushing out from my cover.
“Seth!” His name came out in a sob as I saw him at the edge of the water.
I threw myself at him, needing to feel something on my skin, other than the absence of Tristan. “Tristan…he’s…he’s dead. Elin killed him. He’s dead. He’s dead.” The words repeated themselves; I couldn’t stop them from pouring out of me. I chanted it, praying that with each syllable I would ease the emptiness inside.
“Where is he?” His face paled. He gripped my arms painfully and shook me. “Where?”
“At the clearing. He’s dead, Seth.”
“Shut up!” His voice cracked as he let me go. “Go back in the cavern, Lukas is getting help.” He turned from me, already shifting, and took off over the trees.
I watched him for a moment, unable to move. I stared vacantly at the rushing water, wishing it could fill the void inside me. I knelt at the edge of the pool; my reflection gazed back. It didn’t look like the Janie Tristan had loved. Rivers of tears streaked through the dirt covering my face. My swollen eyes were vacant. I was her again. Welcome back, weak and pathetic Janie. The warrior, the healer Lukas claimed was within me was as much a myth as Clara’s promise of a cure. A twig snapped behind me. I stood and turned slowly.
“Nice of Seth to lead me right to you,” Elin said.
Swallowing my fear, I backed away from her. I glanced around for Kas, but couldn’t see him.
“Oh, don’t worry about Kas. He’ll be joining us soon. Right after he takes care of Seth permanently.”
I stood gazing intently at her as she approached me. Her white gown shimmered, a stark contrast to the deep browns and grays of the rocks surrounding us. Her hair spiraled down her back in a riot of curls. Her beauty was overwhelming; I was enthralled by her gentle smile.
In my dreams, I always stood waiting for her to come to me, unsure if I wanted to run. It was always the same futile fight and I was powerless to stop it. Now, there was nowhere to run.
Finally, she was inches from me, reaching out her cool pale hand to run her fingers down my face and chest, coming to rest on my stomach. I knew the pain would come next. I grabbed her arm and pushed myself away from her.
Gone was the loving mask meant to deceive. In its place was the hideous face of my mother. “I should have killed you when I had the chance.”
I had no desire to beg for her love. Instead, I longed to shout my fury at her, but my voice was powerless, silent in the midst of my sorrow.
Cold fingers wrapped around my neck, squeezing, turning my skin to ice. I reached up, my hands flailing against her face, pushing futilely against her cheeks, as I knew they would. My vision blurred and a burning filled my chest as I gasped for breath.
Twisting my fingers into her hair, I wrenched with all my strength. Her piercing scream shattered the calm of the forest, the pain in my ears more intense than that of my starving lungs. But it worked. She threw me from her. I crumpled to the ground, gasping for air. I watched as she raised a hand to her bleeding scalp. My hand gripped a patch of blond locks.
“I’m going to kill you,” she spit out, wiping her hand along her hip.
A deep red streak marred the pristine white gown. I tried to scramble back. She was on me before I could move. Razor sharp nails bit into my arm as she dragged me to the water’s edge, thrusting me under its crystal surface.
Submerged in the frigid depths of the pool, I could hear the thundering of the waterfall as it plunged through the water, echoing the pounding of my heart. Vivid green eyes glared at me, filled with every ounce of hatred she had for me. I clutched her wrist, straining to break free. My tired lungs ached for air, but her grasp was unbreakable. I took a breath and icy water filled my lungs. My body jerked in agony as my chest felt ripped apart. I took another gulp, more pain. My movements slowed and my arms drifted, sluggishly pushing out.
I stared at her through the haze of color settling around us. Even distorted in fury, her face remained angelic. This was the real her. This was my mother, the woman who had raised me; the woman who would kill me. The fingers clutching me tightened as the pain spread, radiating from my chest outward. My skin tingled and I pulled in another gasp of water, shuddering as it went down and increased the pressure bursting inside of me. I was drowning in agony, water continued to fill my lungs. One last gulp, one last jerk and there was no pain. I floated under the calm surface, and watched her as I sank lower.
Her grip on me vanished and she hovered above me, gazing into the water, staring around me, through me. Her hands plunged into the water, waving frantically as if searching for me, though I was right there. Confusion, then fear widened her eyes.
Fire ripped apart my body, tearing at my muscles, tightening them until my joints popped. Numbness consumed me and all I could do was at her through the haze that had turned to shades of grey.
A muffled boom echoed and Elin jerked up. Blood shot out from her shoulder even as disbelief flooded her face. She slumped forward into the water, floating for a moment before the water from the falls pushed her deeper in. Her body jerked as she began shifting, the movements rippling the water above me, swirling the dark blood into thin rivulets. Black and white material floated between us. My mother was gone and in her place was the white wolf.
Elin’s wolf bore no wound and the fear that had been on my mother’s face was gone. She surged toward me, her muzzle snapping at something black in the water. Pain shot through my arm and I realized she’d bitten me, though I couldn’t see my arm in her mouth.
My muscles twitched and the growing weight in my chest pushed me down. I twisted away from her, but her grip was too strong. I tried to use my hands and legs to push her away, but I had no control over their movemen
ts, as if they were foreign limbs attached to me. I no longer felt human, though I could sense my body struggling to survive.
Her white fur was everywhere and an instinct I didn’t dare question took hold of me. The water slowed my lunge, allowing me to find what I was aiming for. I sank my teeth into her neck, shaking my head, then sinking my teeth in deeper as she struggled to free herself. The water surrounding us washed the thickness of her blood away.
Her struggles stopped and I loosened my hold on her neck. I pulled away and my whole body arched in agony, muscles twisting, and I screamed silently. The pain ended as abruptly as it began and the need to end her consumed me. I gripped her head with my hands and yanked. Her neck offered little resistance against me, and with a final twist in the opposite direction, her head tore from her body. Blood billowed around us, darkening the water.
My fingers slid from the fur that lengthened into the blond locks of my mother. The touch of her limp hand on my face shocked me, propelling me upwards. I pushed her aside and stretched toward the sky.
Bursting out of the water, I gasped for air, but my lungs were full of water and I sank back below the surface before bobbing up again. I tried for air once more and still my body rejected it. A hand grasped mine and I panicked, straining with what little strength I had left, but the hand tightened on mine and pulled me from the water. The haze that surrounded me darkened. Hands roll me over and I stared at the sky as Davin had before my eyes drifted closed.
Chapter 30
Light seeped through my eyelids and I rolled over, feeling the cushioning of my bed beneath me. Sucking in a deep breath, I was rewarded with a burning sensation in my lungs. I swallowed and took a shallow breath; less pain. I squeezed my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see the sunlight. I didn’t want to face the day knowing that Tristan wasn’t there to keep me warm, to crinkle his eyes as he smiled, to use his awful vampire voice.
My skin tingled as I thought of him. I lay still, relishing that sensation, wishing it would last, that it would be real. The prickling grew more intense as I lay there, just as it had the first day I’d met him. I forced myself to keep from moving and breaking the spell. I felt tears seep from my eyes, sliding through my hair to fall on the pillow.
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