The Way We Live Now

by Anthony Trollope

  CHAPTER XCIV.

  JOHN CRUMB'S VICTORY.

  In the meantime great preparations were going on down in Suffolk forthe marriage of that happiest of lovers, John Crumb. John Crumb hadbeen up to London, had been formally reconciled to Ruby,--who hadsubmitted to his floury embraces, not with the best grace in theworld, but still with a submission that had satisfied her futurehusband,--had been intensely grateful to Mrs. Hurtle, and almostmunificent in liberality to Mrs. Pipkin, to whom he presented apurple silk dress, in addition to the cloak which he had given on aformer occasion. During this visit he had expressed no anger againstRuby, and no indignation in reference to the baronite. When informedby Mrs. Pipkin, who hoped thereby to please him, that Sir Felixwas supposed to be still "all one mash of gore," he blandly smiled,remarking that no man could be much the worse for a "few sich tapsas them." He only stayed a few hours in London, but during these fewhours he settled everything. When Mrs. Pipkin suggested that Rubyshould be married from her house, he winked his eye as he declinedthe suggestion with thanks. Daniel Ruggles was old, and, under theinfluence of continued gin and water, was becoming feeble. John Crumbwas of opinion that the old man should not be neglected, and hintedthat with a little care the five hundred pounds which had originallybeen promised as Ruby's fortune, might at any rate be secured. He wasof opinion that the marriage should be celebrated in Suffolk,--thefeast being spread at Sheep's Acre farm, if Dan Ruggles could betalked into giving it,--and if not, at his own house. When both theladies explained to him that this last proposition was not in strictaccordance with the habits of the fashionable world, John expressedan opinion that, under the peculiar circumstances of his marriage,the ordinary laws of the world might be suspended. "It ain't jistlike other folks, after all as we've been through," said he,--meaningprobably to imply that having had to fight for his wife, he wasentitled to give a breakfast on the occasion if he pleased. Butwhether the banquet was to be given by the bride's grandfather or byhimself,--he was determined that there should be a banquet, and thathe would bid the guests. He invited both Mrs. Pipkin and Mrs. Hurtle,and at last succeeded in inducing Mrs. Hurtle to promise that shewould bring Mrs. Pipkin down to Bungay, for the occasion.

  Then it was necessary to fix the day, and for this purpose it was ofcourse essential that Ruby should be consulted. During the discussionas to the feast and the bridegroom's entreaties that the two ladieswould be present, she had taken no part in the matter in hand. Shewas brought up to be kissed, and having been duly kissed she retiredagain among the children, having only expressed one wish of herown,--namely, that Joe Mixet might not have anything to do withthe affair. But the day could not be fixed without her, and shewas summoned. Crumb had been absurdly impatient, proposing nextTuesday,--making his proposition on a Friday. They could cook enoughmeat for all Bungay to eat by Tuesday, and he was aware of noother cause for delay. "That's out of the question," Ruby had saiddecisively, and as the two elder ladies had supported her Mr. Crumbyielded with a good grace. He did not himself appreciate the reasonsgiven because, as he remarked, gowns can be bought ready made atany shop. But Mrs. Pipkin told him with a laugh that he didn't knowanything about it, and when the 14th of August was named he onlyscratched his head and, muttering something about Thetford fair,agreed that he would, yet once again, allow love to take precedenceof business. If Tuesday would have suited the ladies as well hethought that he might have managed to combine the marriage and thefair, but when Mrs. Pipkin told him that he must not interfere anyfurther, he yielded with a good grace. He merely remained in Londonlong enough to pay a friendly visit to the policeman who had lockedhim up, and then returned to Suffolk, revolving in his mind howglorious should be the matrimonial triumph which he had at lastachieved.

  Before the day arrived, old Ruggles had been constrained to forgivehis granddaughter, and to give a general assent to the marriage. WhenJohn Crumb, with a sound of many trumpets, informed all Bungay thathe had returned victorious from London, and that after all the upsand downs of his courtship Ruby was to become his wife on a fixedday, all Bungay took his part, and joined in a general attack uponMr. Daniel Ruggles. The cross-grained old man held out for a longtime, alleging that the girl was no better than she should be, andthat she had run away with the baronite. But this assertion wasmet by so strong a torrent of contradiction, that the farmer wasabsolutely driven out of his own convictions. It is to be feared thatmany lies were told on Ruby's behalf by lips which had been quiteready a fortnight since to take away her character. But it had becomean acknowledged fact in Bungay that John Crumb was ready at any hourto punch the head of any man who should hint that Ruby Ruggles had,at any period of her life, done any act or spoken any word unbecominga young lady; and so strong was the general belief in John Crumb,that Ruby became the subject of general eulogy from all male lipsin the town. And though perhaps some slight suspicion of irregularbehaviour up in London might be whispered by the Bungay ladies amongthemselves, still the feeling in favour of Mr. Crumb was so general,and his constancy was so popular, that the grandfather could notstand against it. "I don't see why I ain't to do as I likes with myown," he said to Joe Mixet, the baker, who went out to Sheep's AcreFarm as one of many deputations sent by the municipality of Bungay.

  "She's your own flesh and blood, Mr. Ruggles," said the baker.

  "No; she ain't;--no more than she's a Pipkin. She's taken up withMrs. Pipkin jist because I hate the Pipkinses. Let Mrs. Pipkin give'em a breakfast."

  "She is your own flesh and blood,--and your name, too, Mr. Ruggles.And she's going to be the respectable wife of a respectable man, Mr.Ruggles."

  "I won't give 'em no breakfast;--that's flat," said the farmer.

  But he had yielded in the main when he allowed himself to base hisopposition on one immaterial detail. The breakfast was to be given atthe King's Head, and, though it was acknowledged on all sides that noauthority could be found for such a practice, it was known that thebill was to be paid by the bridegroom. Nor would Mr. Ruggles pay thefive hundred pounds down as in early days he had promised to do. Hewas very clear in his mind that his undertaking on that head wasaltogether cancelled by Ruby's departure from Sheep's Acre. When hewas reminded that he had nearly pulled his granddaughter's hair outof her head, and had thus justified her act of rebellion, he did notcontradict the assertion, but implied that if Ruby did not choose toearn her fortune on such terms as those, that was her fault. It wasnot to be supposed that he was to give a girl, who was after all asmuch a Pipkin as a Ruggles, five hundred pounds for nothing. But,in return for that night's somewhat harsh treatment of Ruby, he didat last consent to have the money settled upon John Crumb at hisdeath,--an arrangement which both the lawyer and Joe Mixet thought tobe almost as good as a free gift, being both of them aware that theconsumption of gin and water was on the increase. And he, moreover,was persuaded to receive Mrs. Pipkin and Ruby at the farm for thenight previous to the marriage. This very necessary arrangement wasmade by Mr. Mixet's mother, a most respectable old lady, who wentout in a fly from the inn attired in her best black silk gown and anoverpowering bonnet, an old lady from whom her son had inherited hiseloquence, who absolutely shamed the old man into compliance,--not,however, till she had promised to send out the tea and white sugarand box of biscuits which were thought to be necessary for Mrs.Pipkin on the evening preceding the marriage. A private sitting-roomat the inn was secured for the special accommodation of Mrs.Hurtle,--who was supposed to be a lady of too high standing to beproperly entertained at Sheep's Acre Farm.

  On the day preceding the wedding one trouble for a moment cloudedthe bridegroom's brow. Ruby had demanded that Joe Mixet should notbe among the performers, and John Crumb, with the urbanity of alover, had assented to her demand,--as far, at least, as silencecan give consent. And yet he felt himself unable to answer suchinterrogatories as the parson might put to him without the assistanceof his friend, although he devoted much study to the matter. "Youcould come in behind like, Joe, just as if I knew nothin' about it,"suggested Crumb. />
  "Don't you say a word of me, and she won't say nothing, you may besure. You ain't going to give in to all her cantraps that way, John?"John shook his head and rubbed the meal about on his forehead. "Itwas only just something for her to say. What have I done that sheshould object to me?"

  "You didn't ever go for to--kiss her,--did you, Joe?"

  "What a one'er you are! That wouldn't 'a set her again me. It is justbecause I stood up and spoke for you like a man that night at Sheep'sAcre, when her mind was turned the other way. Don't you noticenothing about it. When we're all in the church she won't go backbecause Joe Mixet's there. I'll bet you a gallon, old fellow, she andI are the best friends in Bungay before six months are gone."

  "Nay, nay; she must have a better friend than thee, Joe, or Imust know the reason why." But John Crumb's heart was too big forjealousy, and he agreed at last that Joe Mixet should be his bestman, undertaking to "square it all" with Ruby, after the ceremony.

  He met the ladies at the station and,--for him,--was quite eloquentin his welcome to Mrs. Hurtle and Mrs. Pipkin. To Ruby he said butlittle. But he looked at her in her new hat, and generally bright insubsidiary wedding garments, with great delight. "Ain't she bootifulnow?" he said aloud to Mrs. Hurtle on the platform, to the greatdelight of half Bungay, who had accompanied him on the occasion.Ruby, hearing her praises thus sung, made a fearful grimace as sheturned round to Mrs. Pipkin, and whispered to her aunt, so that thoseonly who were within a yard or two could hear her; "He is such afool!" Then he conducted Mrs. Hurtle in an omnibus up to the Inn, andafterwards himself drove Mrs. Pipkin and Ruby out to Sheep's Acre;in the performance of all which duties he was dressed in the greencutaway coat with brass buttons which had been expressly made for hismarriage. "Thou'rt come back then, Ruby," said the old man.

  "I ain't going to trouble you long, grandfather," said the girl.

  "So best;--so best. And this is Mrs. Pipkin?"

  "Yes, Mr. Ruggles; that's my name."

  "I've heard your name. I've heard your name, and I don't know as Iever want to hear it again. But they say as you've been kind to thatgirl as 'd 'a been on the town only for that."

  "Grandfather, that ain't true," said Ruby with energy. The old manmade no rejoinder, and Ruby was allowed to take her aunt up into thebedroom which they were both to occupy. "Now, Mrs. Pipkin, just yousay," pleaded Ruby, "how was it possible for any girl to live with anold man like that?"

  "But, Ruby, you might always have gone to live with the young maninstead when you pleased."

  "You mean John Crumb."

  "Of course I mean John Crumb, Ruby."

  "There ain't much to choose between 'em. What one says is all spite;and the other man says nothing at all."

  "Oh Ruby, Ruby," said Mrs. Pipkin, with solemnly persuasive voice, "Ihope you'll come to learn some day, that a loving heart is better nora fickle tongue,--specially with vittels certain."

  On the following morning the Bungay church bells rang merrily, andhalf its population was present to see John Crumb made a happy man.He himself went out to the farm and drove the bride and Mrs. Pipkininto the town, expressing an opinion that no hired charioteer wouldbring them so safely as he would do himself; nor did he think it anydisgrace to be seen performing this task before his marriage. Hesmiled and nodded at every one, now and then pointing back with hiswhip to Ruby when he met any of his specially intimate friends, asthough he would have said, "See, I've got her at last in spite of alldifficulties." Poor Ruby, in her misery under this treatment, wouldhave escaped out of the cart had it been possible. But now she wasaltogether in the man's hands and no escape was within her reach."What's the odds?" said Mrs. Pipkin as they settled their bonnets ina room at the Inn just before they entered the church. "Drat it,--youmake me that angry I'm half minded to cuff you. Ain't he fond o'you? Ain't he got a house of his own? Ain't he well to do all round?Manners! What's manners? I don't see nothing amiss in his manners. Hemeans what he says, and I call that the best of good manners."

  Ruby, when she reached the church, had been too completely quelledby outward circumstances to take any notice of Joe Mixet, who wasstanding there, quite unabashed, with a splendid nosegay in hisbutton-hole. She certainly had no right on this occasion to complainof her husband's silence. Whereas she could hardly bring herselfto utter the responses in a voice loud enough for the clergymanto catch the familiar words, he made his assertions so vehementlythat they were heard throughout the whole building. "I, John,--takethee Ruby,--to my wedded wife,--to 'ave and to 'old,--from this dayforrard,--for better nor worser,--for richer nor poorer--;" and soon to the end. And when he came to the "worldly goods" with which heendowed his Ruby, he was very emphatic indeed. Since the day had beenfixed he had employed all his leisure-hours in learning the words byheart, and would now hardly allow the clergyman to say them beforehim. He thoroughly enjoyed the ceremony, and would have liked to bemarried over and over again, every day for a week, had it beenpossible.

  And then there came the breakfast, to which he marshalled the way upthe broad stairs of the inn at Bungay, with Mrs. Hurtle on one armand Mrs. Pipkin on the other. He had been told that he ought to takehis wife's arm on this occasion, but he remarked that he meant to seea good deal of her in future, and that his opportunities of beingcivil to Mrs. Hurtle and Mrs. Pipkin would be rare. Thus it came topass that, in spite of all that poor Ruby had said, she was conductedto the marriage-feast by Joe Mixet himself. Ruby, I think, hadforgotten the order which she had given in reference to the baker.When desiring that she might see nothing more of Joe Mixet, she hadbeen in her pride;--but now she was so tamed and quelled by theoutward circumstances of her position, that she was glad to have someone near her who knew how to behave himself. "Mrs. Crumb, you have mybest wishes for your continued 'ealth and 'appiness," said Joe Mixetin a whisper.

  "It's very good of you to say so, Mr. Mixet."

  "He's a good 'un; is he."

  "Oh, I dare say."

  "You just be fond of him and stroke him down, and make much of him,and I'm blessed if you mayn't do a'most anything with him,--all's oneas a babby."

  "A man shouldn't be all's one as a babby, Mr. Mixet."

  "And he don't drink hard, but he works hard, and go where he will hecan hold his own." Ruby said no more, and soon found herself seatedby her husband's side. It certainly was wonderful to her that so manypeople should pay John Crumb so much respect, and should seem tothink so little of the meal and flour which pervaded his countenance.

  After the breakfast, or "bit of dinner," as John Crumb would callit, Mr. Mixet of course made a speech. "He had had the pleasure ofknowing John Crumb for a great many years, and the honour of beingacquainted with Miss Ruby Ruggles,--he begged all their pardons,and should have said Mrs. John Crumb,--ever since she was a child.""That's a downright story," said Ruby in a whisper to Mrs. Hurtle."And he'd never known two young people more fitted by the gifts ofnature to contribute to one another's 'appinesses. He had understoodthat Mars and Wenus always lived on the best of terms, and perhapsthe present company would excuse him if he likened this 'appy youngcouple to them two 'eathen gods and goddesses. For Miss Ruby,--Mrs.Crumb he should say,--was certainly lovely as ere a Wenus as everwas; and as for John Crumb, he didn't believe that ever a Mars among'em could stand again him. He didn't remember just at present whetherMars and Wenus had any young family, but he hoped that before longthere would be any number of young Crumbs for the Bungay birds topick up. 'Appy is the man as 'as his quiver full of 'em,--and thewoman too, if you'll allow me to say so, Mrs. Crumb." The speech, ofwhich only a small sample can be given here, was very much admired bythe ladies and gentlemen present,--with the single exception of poorRuby, who would have run away and locked herself in an inner chamberhad she not been certain that she would be brought back again.

  The happy bridegroom.]

  In the afternoon John took his bride to Lowestoft, and brought herback to all the glories of his own house on the following day. Hishoneymoon was short, but its influence
on Ruby was beneficent. Whenshe was alone with the man, knowing that he was her husband, andthinking something of all that he had done to win her to be his wife,she did learn to respect him. "Now, Ruby, give a fellow a buss,--asthough you meant it," he said, when the first fitting occasionpresented itself.

  "Oh, John,--what nonsense!"

  "It ain't nonsense to me, I can tell you. I'd sooner have a kiss fromyou than all the wine as ever was swallowed." Then she did kiss him,"as though she meant it;" and when she returned with him to Bungaythe next day, she had made up her mind that she would endeavour to doher duty by him as his wife.