by Zoë Lane
“When you treat the players, are you made aware of any medicines or drugs they might be taking?”
“Sometimes.”
“And do you discuss this information with Dr. Benzoli?”
“Only when creating a treatment plan.”
“Has Dr. Benzoli ever mentioned prescribing EPOs to players?”
“Uh, no...no, he hasn’t.”
“Are you aware of any players identifying Dr. Benzoli as the prescriber of EPOs?”
“Yes. Yes...” Forgive me, Casper. “Casper—Mr. Taylor—did say he received a prescription for something like it.”
The attorney leaned over again followed by another gentleman on her left.
What is going on? Was she implying... Was Dr. Benzoli selling EPOs? And worse, had Casper bought them from him?
My eyes shot to Coach Hicks’s face a few seats down on her left. He looked pale, his mouth downturned, creating creases framing both corners. His gaze was fixed on the table. I’d very limited interaction with him, but knowing his kind and generous personality, I was looking at a very disappointed man.
“Ms. Kelly,” the GM began, “in light of your admission to knowing the use of a banned substance by a player—”
“It wasn’t banned at the time,” I interrupted forcefully. Ms. Hardison’s mouth snapped shut and all eyes were on me. “I...it was still...”
“It was on the pending list,” Ms. Hardison stated. “It’s our policy that only approved drugs are to be distributed and consumed, due to the list being extremely dynamic. We can’t afford to have our players testing positive for banned substances, which would put the franchise in a difficult position of having to either suspend or fire the player, not to mention the franchise being fined by the league.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said weakly, my throat parched.
“In addition, we can’t possibly support employees who flagrantly defy our code of ethics.”
“It wasn’t flagrant! I...I didn’t—”
“You are to be terminated immediately. Security will collect your badge and any other franchise-owned property on your way out.”
I sucked in a breath.
Ms. Hardison closed her portfolio, her cool dark eyes on me, features unrelenting.
“That’s it?” I asked, my voice cracking.
“That’s the decision of the leadership,” she said flatly.
I looked at each man and woman at the table. More than a dozen. “I don’t even get to speak on my behalf? If I had an attorney, would that have made a difference?”
Ms. Hardison’s eyes narrowed. “Careful, Ms. Kelly. Put yourself in my shoes. We’re barely halfway into the season. A brand-new team. You signed an employee contract, with the knowledge that you must fulfill your side of the bargain. Management also has a responsibility to fulfill. We can’t arbitrarily decide which policies we’re going to overlook because we feel bad for the person who didn’t uphold their side of the deal. It would be chaotic.”
If the roles were reversed, I would’ve said the same thing. Even though these last few weeks, I’d done and said some things that I’d never thought I would have. At my core I was Ms. Hardison, and I respected her for it.
“We are trying to build a team with players who embody integrity in a way we feel is lacking in the NFL. We don’t want to be known as a team like all the others. Full of felonious criminals, drug addicts, and cheaters. We want to set the standard of professionalism. Can you understand that?”
Cold, harsh, but necessary.
I nodded.
“Good.” She released what sounded like a satisfied sigh, her prey killed. “You’ve had glowing employee reviews. Coach Hicks has requested—and been granted—permission to give you a reference so you’ll be able to work for another team.”
My gaze shot to Coach Hicks, who briefly smiled. “Thank you,” I said.
“We request that you speak to no employees—including players—regarding this conversation. Thank you, Ms. Kelly,” Ms. Hardison said.
Dismissed.
I stood, and as quickly as my numb legs would allow, I left the conference room. A security guard greeted me to escort me back to my room to gather my belongings—the box I’d prepared the other week—and then to see I left the facility. He had known I was going to be fired before I did?
As soon as I got to my car I opened my phone to text Casper. I wasn’t an employee anymore, so I could talk to whomever the hell I wanted.
They fired me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CASPER
“Mr. Taylor, you understand the reason why you’ve been brought before this panel today?” the GM said in a stern voice.
I hear my own strained voice respond, “Yes, ma’am.”
“Our agenda today is to inform you of the findings of the drug tests administered and to discuss your options.”
Options.
That sounded more promising than I had thought. Unless they were talking about money. I had the option to forfeit the rest of my salary and leave in utter disgrace, or I had to pay back what I had earned, not including the fine the franchise would probably be slapped with, and I’d have to back out of the deal for the house I was closing on for my parents and face that penalty, and—
“Mr. Taylor, you’ve produced two positive drug tests in the last week for the banned EPO drug called Epotin. Do you freely admit to taking this drug?”
My lawyer leaned over to me. “You don’t have to answer that.” I nod.
“Yes, I admit it,” I say. Out of the corner of my eyes I see my lawyer grimace. “I’ve been taking the drug for...a few weeks now.”
“For a rotator cuff injury you didn’t report to the team.” The GM’s voice rose an octave.
“No, ma’am, that’s not true.” My eyes darted to Coach Hicks, who had a confused look on his face. “I’ve had that injury since college. I revealed that at Combine. To the doctor. I wasn’t trying to hide it.”
The panelists shuffled papers around and then conferred with each other in hushed tones. What was happening? What the hell? Why didn’t they know this?
“They’re reviewing your medical records,” my lawyer answered my unspoken questions.
I turned to Zane. “But why? Why would they not know that?”
He too had a file open that looked like a bunch of records that were probably mine. “They believe you didn’t report it, since it’s not in your records.”
“What?” I nearly shouted.
“Mr. Taylor, may I remind you that this discussion needs to be kept civil? You’re still an employee of this organization. And if you could instruct your client, Mr. Meyers?”
“Of course.”
Well, at least I was still an employee. I had hoped they’d fire me to my face. “I’ve never hidden my injury from anyone. You can go back to Southwestern and talk to my coach. He’ll tell you that I was on the team freshman year, but...I got into a car accident that killed my...” I choked on the word, but forced it out. “Wife.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Casper,” Ms. Hardison says, her tone genuine. She laced her fingers and sat in silence, an invitation.
“I was out for the rest of the season, rehabbing. I came back strong sophomore year. No one thought I could do it.”
“You had surgery?”
I nodded. “Yes. And a ton of physical therapy after that.”
“So you know what’s at stake if your injury is aggravated,” Coach Hicks interjected. “You know what can happen if that doesn’t heal properly.”
“It was healed. It did heal. I haven’t really had any major trouble with it...until a few weeks ago.”
“Casper,” Coach Hicks said in an admonishing tone. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
My gaze dropped from his and my eyes filled with moisture. “I know I’ve disappointed you and the team. You gave me a chance and I...I said nothing. I...I didn’t want to...”
I looked up, hot tears running down my cheeks. Normally, I’d be angry at myse
lf for crying like a baby, but I felt broken. As the words poured out of me, relief filled its place.
“Football is all I have left. When I lost Emily, I was told I’d never play again. They couldn’t take that away from me. I worked my ass off to get back into the game. I worked my ass off to impress you at Combine. Football is in my blood, Coach. If you take that away from me, what do I have left?”
“You still have your life,” the owner said.
I turned in my seat. She’d been standing at the door of the room for I didn’t know how long. She looked regal; tall, thin, hair grey and in a short style, wearing a pale green skirt—no jacket—and a beige blouse. She looked almost too casual compared to everyone else in the room.
“The interesting thing about life, Casper, is that in it, we get to experience a lot of things. If we’re brave enough, we get to pursue our passions. But we can have more than one. You can live a fulfilled life without football.”
My father had said something similar, which I had dismissed in order to get myself out of the depressed stage I had lingered in for long months after Emily had died. Maybe I didn’t deserve to pursue my passion since the accident was my fault, but I had no choice but to believe I could be the master of my own destiny. It was either that or kill myself.
The owner came forward and put a hand on my good shoulder.
“You’re a fantastic player, Casper. I don’t believe you were trying to hide anything until now.”
If my embarrassment could burn a hole in the floor and swallow me whole, I’d let it. The last time I’d felt this much nausea was when I’d lied to my mother about stealing cookies and blamed it on my toddler brother.
I was ten years old.
The owner walked over to where the GM sat and took a seat offered to her by a guy I knew only as one of the financial backers. He looked about her age—early fifties, maybe? They were frequently together, watching us in the owner’s box, sitting and smiling at each other like they’d just won the lottery.
And I was letting them down.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” I whisper.
“I know you are, Casper.”
She sounded like my grandmother, and that just made all of this that much worse.
“Is anyone else aware of this? Any additional teammates? How did you acquire the drug?” The GM fired the questions at me.
“I don’t think that’s fair,” my lawyer said. “He hasn’t been arrested, and this isn’t an interrogation.”
My insides had gone cold. Her name was on the tip of my tongue. I clamped my mouth shut. Now was the time to put everything on the table. After demanding integrity from Siobhan, I questioned my own ability to live up to my moral high ground. I could handle whatever the team threw at me; I deserved it. But could I be responsible for what they’d do to her?
My handles trembled. I wasn’t known as a butterfingers.
My lawyer and the GM went back and forth over the legalities of my contract and my obligations. “He could forfeit everything!” Ms. Hardison shouted. “Is that what you want for your client? Mr. Taylor, you have an obligation to answer our questions.”
I held up my hands. “Stop!” The room fell silent. I looked the GM in the eyes. “Are you telling me that I still have a job?”
“I’ll answer that,” the owner began. She smiled. “You still have a position on this team, Casper. We’re a family, and we don’t give up that easily on each other.”
I let out a gurgled sound of relief and nodded. “Thank you,” I breathed.
“Of course.”
“Of course, that doesn’t absolve you of any penalties that’ll come against you for the positive drug tests,” the GM continued. “You’re looking at fines, suspension, and the team will likely face stiff penalties as well. It’ll be a PR nightmare, Mr. Taylor. Do you realize what you’ve done? A new team embroiled in a drug scandal.”
“I know—”
“I don’t think you do, actually,” the GM interrupted. “Now Mr. Meyers, I would instruct your client to answer our questions. Who else was in possession of the EPO? To what extent were you involved with Dr. Benzoli in the distribution and sale of the drug?”
“Wait a minute,” Zane began. “What are you talking about, Dr. Benzoli? My client doesn’t know a thing about any distribution.”
I met the shocked gaze of my agent who, briefly shook his head, and then crossed the room to Coach Hicks. His troubled gaze was on me and I could only shrug. The drug had only been recently placed on the banned list, and now Dr. Benzoli was accused of selling it?
“Dr. Benzoli was arrested this morning in a sting operation conducted by the Richmond Police Department’s vice squad. Apparently, he’d been selling drugs to some very rich clients who he found via his connections to several players on the team,” the GM explained.
“My client knows nothing about that, nor have we been approached by the police about it.”
Ms. Hardison sighed her head dipping. “Mr. Taylor, who else knew you were taking the EPO?”
Siobhan, please forgive me. “I got the drug from Billy—who never asked for any money—and...and...Siobhan Kelly knew I was taking them, but she advised against it.”
“Siobhan Kelly?” the GM asked.
“One of the physical therapists on staff.”
“You’re saying she told you not to take the drug?” Coach Hicks asked.
“She said it was on the pending list, but I...I trusted Dr. Benzoli. Ms. Kelly is familiar with therapy and drugs. She’s very good.”
“Then she should’ve known better,” the GM said bluntly.
My eyes went around the table. Even bowing my head irritated my shoulder. I did this. I was going to get her fired. If I hadn’t taken the pills, and if I hadn’t told her... “Would it help if I resigned?”
“What?” a few of the leadership staff asked in unison.
“Casper,” Coach Hicks’s warning tone came from across the table.
“Wait a minute,” Zane said in a hurried voice.
I looked up. “Release me,” I said firmly.
“What is it with players and resigning? Have you all suddenly been hit with an honor stick? Mr. Meyers, I don’t think your client knows what he’s asking,” the GM said, ignoring my pleading stare.
“Casper,” Coach Hicks said more forcefully, “how about we take a break and then come back and—”
“No. I’m out. It’s my fault she found out. She wanted to report it immediately, but...”
“But?” the GM asked.
“I told her that I was fine and that I’d keep an eye on the banned substance list.”
The GM smirked. “You blew her off, you mean.”
I nodded. “She was just trying to be a friend.”
“She should’ve been an employee. But even if she was trying to be your friend, sometimes tough love is the best course of action.”
Believe me, now that I was sure she was going to get fired, I’d find out how tough Siobhan really was. She’d kill me and then never speak to me again. “Then I respectfully request that you don’t fire her and instead release me.”
“Mr. Taylor, as touching as volunteering yourself to be thrown on the pyre instead of Ms. Kelly—”
The owner leaned toward the GM and motioned for her to lean over as well. The owner whispered something across two people to the GM, who, after a few moments, gave a single nod of her head.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Taylor, but we can’t accept your resignation. This meeting will be adjourned, and you will report to Coach Hicks for further instructions. I suggest, Casper, that you lay low for a while. Our crisis management firm will be handling any statements from the organization. Remember, you are an ambassador of the Richmond Rhinos, and anything you say will be interpreted by the press as an official statement.” She paused, her eyes narrowing on me. “So keep your mouth shut. Understood?”
I could only stare back. I couldn’t resign. Even if I wanted to, the owner wouldn’t let me go.
“My cli
ent understands. Thank you, Ms. Hardison,” my lawyer answered.
As I left the room with my agent and attorney, they both began their assessment of what had just happened. But I wasn’t listening.
I was looking at a text from Siobhan with only three words.
Even if I had been successful in getting the leadership to fire me, it wouldn’t have mattered. She had already been let go.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CASPER
“Even if you could resign, how’d you expect the rest of the team to react?” Landyn yelled. “What about me? You’re my number one. You expect me to rely on Billy? Casper, I’ve never known you to be that selfish.”
I’d have rolled my eyes at him if they weren’t already closed. With my hands still beneath my head, and I remained motionless on the couch listening to Landyn’s upbraiding. He’d come over as soon as he had gotten my text saying I’d tried to quit. He’d flipped his lid when he’d entered the players’ lounge area. Thankfully, no one else had been in here to hear him curse me out.
Ugh.
“Billy popped hot too, so...”
“So third string.” He laughed sardonically. “You expected me to win with a third string tight end?”
“You really would’ve thrown away millions of dollars—your life’s dream—for the physical therapist? Are you in love with her?”
My lids sprang open. Was I? I hadn’t even considered how deep my feelings ran. I sat up and faced my friend. “Landyn, it’s my fault she’s fired. What can I do?”
“Hire her as your own masseuse or something. Not quit your job! You’re the one with the money.”
I dismissed his answer with a wave of my hand, although admittedly, I hadn’t thought about his idea before my failed resignation attempt. “She’d be too proud for that. My personal physical therapist? You think they’d let her in the building after firing her?”
“Whatever! You could’ve worked out the details. What about your family? You just bought your parents a house. Your brother’s college fund!”
I’d already considered that, and then promptly forgotten when I’d realized the damage my decision had caused to Siobhan.