Brody

by Victoria H. Smith

  “Alex, don’t,” I urged. I had made a mistake. I knew that now. Moving my hands to her shoulders, I leaned my forehead against hers. “You don’t have to do this. Don’t feel like you have to.”

  “I’m just…” she whispered, shaking. “I’m scared you won’t want to be with me anymore.”

  My eyes closed tight. I brought her into my arms and she felt so small. She always felt so small; that first day so vulnerable. I kissed her forehead. “Nothing you could tell me could ever make me not want to be with you.” And I meant it. I meant every goddamn word, but that didn’t stop her. It didn’t stop her from shaking her head.

  “You’ll see me differently.” She sniffed, pulling away. “And then I’ll be alone. That’s why my sister won’t talk to me. That’s why I’m alone.”

  I grabbed her arms. “Alex—”

  “It was me, Brody. I’m why Nathan got locked up. I’m why he served time. Me.”

  My brain grasped to make sense of any and all things she was saying. It all was a thicket of words, jumbled, but then, I took a step back from my head. I listened. I took them in.

  “I’m the bad thing… I was the bad thing he did.”

  My jaw locked, my body frozen. Her words bolted me, shattered me.

  But they broke her more.

  Her head down, the tears fell from her eyes and I held her quivering body, bringing her into me. Her fingers tangled in my shirt, the water from her eyes dampening it and all the while I held her, trying, fighting, to stay right here. I fought from doing something else, because if what I feared were true… if I understood correctly what she was telling me, there was no reason I should be standing here right now.

  There’s no reason he shouldn’t be dead right now.

  “It happened when I was sixteen,” she whispered. I shook. She went on. “And Elena…” She breathed. She cried. “She didn’t believe me at first.”

  I closed my eyes, holding her tighter. I had to. I had to in order to keep myself sane. How could her sister not believe her? How could she…

  “But I had proof,” she continued. “I went to the hospital and… and…”

  “Stop,” I told her. I urged her, but not because I couldn’t take it. I didn’t want her to take it, to relive it like she clearly was in her mind. “You don’t have to. You don’t.”

  “But then she said I asked for it.” I could barely hear her now. Tears, so many tears. She sniffed them back. “She said I did with my clothes and the way I dressed. She said I led him on. She said I teased. She said…”

  I couldn’t help it after that.

  I snapped.

  Blinded to the rage, I could only hear Alex in the distance. She pleaded with me. She called to me and I answered with words I faintly remembered.

  “Home.” I told her when she asked where we were going. I had been untying the horses. “Why?” she asked then and I couldn’t tell her. I didn’t want her to stop me. Regardless, her questions continued, her concern, and even though I chose not to answer them, that didn’t matter.

  She figured it out.

  She grabbed my arm. “You’re not going to him. You’re not going to do anything.”

  I came out of it for a moment; my head. I didn’t know how I managed, but I did, and I caged her face with my hands. I had to make her understand.

  “He needs to pay,” I told her. “Something needs to be done.”

  Her lip quivered. “Something like how? He served his time, Brody. He went to jail.”

  He went to jail, yes, but that didn’t mean he paid for the crime he committed. I grabbed the reins of Delilah and Charlie. “We’re going back to Gram’s. Then you’re going to stay there until I come back.”

  “And then I’ll lose you, too!” she cried, falling back from me. “I’ll lose you, too, like I lost everyone and everything to him. I lost my sister because of him. She froze me out, kept Aiden away, and now, I’ll lose you, too, to him. I’ve lost everything to him, Brody. I’ve lost myself.”

  She said she lost…

  Herself.

  She walked away and I let her, the reins falling from my fingers. She didn’t go far, to the tree I drew the horses from, but while she did, I stood with my thoughts. She thought she lost herself to him, Nathan, and now that she had, so many things were clear.

  I saw that in her eyes, her thoughts of loss. Alex and her worth, she didn’t connect sometimes. She didn’t see what I’d always seen and she let people take advantage of her because of it. I saw it with that guy at the bar. I saw it with Chloe and even well before that. I met her in attempts to sell herself and I found her later on selling herself on stage. She felt she needed the money, yes, but I wondered if another way had even crossed her mind. Like, she defaulted to those routes with no other thoughts of the alternative. It was almost like she didn’t feel she deserved any better and in fact, I knew that’s exactly how she felt. I knew because she couldn’t answer me the day at the café when I asked her why she didn’t feel like she’d deserved help.

  It all made sense now.

  I went over to her. Her back was turned, her arms folded over her chest, but she still passed a look over her shoulder at me. I got within range and her hands went out to me, pressing firmly on my chest. They went in to cover my heart.

  “You’re not going,” she said.

  I grabbed her hands, shaking my head. “I’m not.”

  A little breath left her mouth. Her eyes closed and something inside me went peaceful. I thought that could only happen after settling the score with Nathan. I suppose, in the end, I didn’t have to have that. I wanted it desperately, adamantly, but I didn’t have to have it. Something I did need? Her. I needed her. I needed this… with her.

  She was enough.

  “You’re enough,” I told her, letting those words fall from my lips and pulling my arms around her, I let my mouth touch her ear. “You’re enough and he hasn’t taken anything from you. You’re here. Every wonderful piece of you is here, Alex. Your strength. Your bravery. You’re here, Alex, and you’re here with me.”

  The words caused more teary tracks to run down her pretty face. I didn’t want to make her cry, but she needed to hear this. She needed to believe in this because it was true.

  I kissed her after that and she let me. She let me touch her. She let me run kisses down her neck until I reached the soft flesh of her breasts past the collar of her shirt. I squeezed her hip.

  “I can stop,” I told her, tasting her. I doubted my control if I continued to her kiss her this way.

  Her fingers curled down my biceps, making me fight my need for her body even more with the pain.

  “Please don’t,” she breathed over my mouth, and I picked her up, her soft pillow thighs tucked around me. She pulled at my t-shirt from behind and relieved us both of it when I pressed her down to the blanket I had laid out. It got caught in my hair during the shuffle, making us both laugh a little, but I quieted her with a kiss, the only time I’d exchange her voice for anything else.

  Her fingers went to her mouth when I unzipped her shorts, the material binding over the flare of her hips before I slid them down and off. She had such beautiful hips, thighs. I bent, tasting between them. Her smell, her essence, did something to me. It made me crazy. It made a lust flow over me I couldn’t contain.

  Her legs fell apart and she played with my hair, soft noises humming from her throat with the tremble of her thighs.

  My fingers slid past her panties, my tongue doing the same. I chased her taste inside of them, my mouth finding her sweet spot and sucking. Her walls called for me, pulsating around my tongue. She wanted me inside her. She wanted me inside her so bad.

  Her head fell back. “Brody…” she whispered. She ached. Her fingernails welted my shoulder with red tracks. I feasted more, dragging my tongue along one of her lips, finding her clit. I flicked the tiny bud, pushing two fingers inside her. Her body hummed more.

  “Take me,” she said, and I covered her mouth. I covered her body, rip
ping away her clothing until I felt the warmth of her body underneath mine. She was soft everywhere I was hard, her smell light to the edge of mine. I snapped her bra, finding a dark nipple with my mouth. I skidded it with my teeth.

  “Alex…” I breathed, feeling her hands on my jeans. She opened them and cupped me, letting me drive into her hand. I wanted her badly, too. She squeezed, playing with my balls when she slid her hand inside my boxers.

  I closed my eyes, my lips forgetting all functionality over her mouth. I groaned, pressed into her hand, and she chewed my lip, breathing soft kisses. Her hand touched my cheek and I opened my eyes. Crazy how she managed to be even more beautiful this close. I could see every bit of amber in her eyes, the light tones that turned into dark.

  I kissed her eyelashes, pushing down my jeans and boxers. After I did, I surrounded her. She lay underneath me completely naked, all flushed cheeks and warm brown skin, and I thought myself so lucky. How lucky I was to have this. How lucky I was that she let me have this.

  And I told her that. My words made her cry again. She cried so much, but it wasn’t bad this time. It wasn’t bad because I knew it was because she was happy.

  I sheathed myself, pushing the condom wrapping into my jeans, and then I took her hips, tugging her to me. Holding myself, I watched as she accepted me, her body expanding and taking as much as she was given. I filled her and then I drove deep, her soft bottom bouncing on the blanket as I found a pace with her. I never forced myself. I never did with Alex. It was about watching and studying what she needed. I did that and I found what I needed, too. We were so in sync, she and I. We always had been.

  I came to her when her lips trembled. My mouth covered hers and I rotated my hips, hers swiveling in response. She called my name, begging for depth, begging for me, and I gave it to her. I gave her everything I had to give and more.

  “I love you,” I told her, feeling those walls contract, and I throbbed, exploding inside her. Pumping my hips, I rode it out, letting her words drive me on. Her “I love yous” took me home. They completed every bit of me.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Alexa

  We made it back to the ranch house with the setting sun, just enough light to see our way. Brody held my hand after we returned the horses, both of us silent in our strides. That didn’t seem to matter though. The silence was just as wonderful as talking. There was such thickness in the air between us, but none of it was tension. None of it was secrets and I didn’t know how I had kept him out for so long. It felt so good just to be open with him, honest. Bringing my hand up, he kissed my ring, the mood ring he gave me. I never took it off, not since that time at the park.

  Together, we stepped to go inside via the back porch, but Brody stopped, his gaze going over my shoulder. He drew back and I followed him down the steps. He didn’t even notice me pull up beside him. He looked around the house at the driveway. A large blue pickup was parked behind his. It was a little newer though and cleaner.

  Taking off his hat, he grabbed my hand before I could make anything of it, and kissed me before any words could form. I would let him kiss me forever.

  His hands settled on my hips. “I’ll meet you inside, okay? No doubt Gram’s got things going in there for dinner.”

  Crap. That meant Aiden had to be up from his nap by now. I didn’t mean to stay out this long. Stepping up, I kissed him. “Okay, hurry. I’ll be waiting.”

  His lips lifted into a wide smile. He kissed me again and patted my hip as I took a step up. He disappeared around the house and I went inside, smelling the food that Gram had started. I picked up my feet and found the little boy I was looking for. The thing was, he was different and this different was so, so good.

  Standing over the table, he mashed a huge bowl of potatoes with a large handled masher and the joy he had while he did it, warmed my heart. His partner in crime, Joe, sat at a seat at the table, but the thing is, he wasn’t within arm’s reach. He sat in his own chair on the other side while my nephew independently cooked.

  This place really is magic.

  I came over to Aiden and both he and Rose slid me one of their large smiles. Rose sat down the chicken she just prepped for the batter, wiping her hand on her apron. “How was your walk with, Brody?” she asked, and when I shook my head, not understanding how she knew, she tilted hers. “I saw ya’ll head west. I figured you were going for a walk.”

  “Yeah, how was it?” came Aiden’s question, and my face warmed by being put on the spot by everyone.

  The walk was good, but for obvious reasons, I stayed casual about it. I gripped the back of a chair, bumping Aiden’s hip. “It was fine. How was your nap? I’m sorry I wasn’t around.”

  He shrugged mashing more. “It was fine, Aunt Alex. No big deal.”

  No. Big. Deal. How I loved to hear those words. I gazed around, noticing the person who was supposed to make it no big deal was absent. She was supposed to put him down. I faced Aiden. “Where’s your mama?”

  “Sleep,” he said, and his smile left a little. “I tried to get her up when Ms. Rose knocked. She was still tired though.”

  Tired. Tired. I shook my head. Ms. Rose herself looked at me, tipping her chin before going back to her chicken. I squeezed Aiden’s shoulder. “I’m going to go check on her, then wash up for your and Ms. Rose’s dinner.”

  That amazing glee spread out over his face. “You’ll like it. We used the stuff I picked.”

  I moved a hand down his braids, telling him I would. I didn’t make any attempts to be quiet as I went upstairs. It was evening and my sister should be up anyway. I went inside and to my surprise, she was awake. She was up and sitting on the windowsill staring out. The open door caused her to face me and she blew smoke into the room.

  Smoking. Why wasn’t I surprised?

  “Nice to see you up,” I told her, not bothering to hide my tone. I wasn’t happy with her. I wasn’t happy and was tired of trying to pretend for her.

  Her hands went together over something. I assumed her pack of cigarettes. She tilted her head. “And where have you been?”

  I didn’t want to answer that question and I shouldn’t have to. I stepped back. “I’m going to go shower. Your son’s making us dinner. You might want to wash up for it, too, after I’m done.” She slept all day. She probably should to get clean.

  In more ways than one.

  I left before she could say anything, tossing my hat to the bed before getting that shower started in the connected bathroom. Frazzled with my sister, I forgot my clothes so I went back out. That’s when I noticed what was in her hands—a cellphone.

  She didn’t bother hiding it when I came in and the fact she had one chilled me to the bone. Where had she been keeping that? On her? I checked everywhere else…

  Silent, I watched her fingers hover over the buttons, a flip phone.

  “I can’t have anything, can I?” she asked, the question so serious. Her jaw clenched as she gazed up at me. “I saw you come back. I saw you were out with him. You have everything and I have nothing. I always have nothing.”

  Her hands continued to move over the buttons, shaking more than even her words had, and I stepped closer, my heart beating with dread.

  “Elena, you…” I breathed. “What did you…?” I couldn’t say it. I was too scared.

  In the end, I made myself.

  “Did you call him?” I asked, swallowing down the bile, the fear. “Did you tell him where we were?”

  Every question had me ready to faint, the bad always seeming to follow the good in my life.

  Please tell me you didn’t.

  Sniffing, she lowered the phone. It was one of her signature sniffs and I wondered if she had more drugs stashed away. She looked up. “And what would I have told him? Come get me. I’m out in the middle of fucking nowhere? The only thing I know is that we’re somewhere in Texas.”

  And Brody had driven the back roads because of that. We’d done it more so in case of being followed, but Elena had definitely
been in the back of my thoughts. Even still, she did see some things along the way. She saw landmarks and indicators.

  Her ponytail swept over her shoulder when her head shook. “So you and your little boyfriend don’t have to worry. I haven’t told him where we are.”

  “But you have talked to him, right? You’ve been talking to him?”

  She didn’t say anything after that, but she didn’t have to. I had a lot of things to say on the other hand and instead of holding my tongue, holding back, I chose to voice them.

  “But why, Elena?” I asked her. The words gritted through my teeth. I had to in order to keep in my anger. It was anger I built up for a long time and it was animosity I had forever. My arms moved over my chest. “You don’t need to be with him. He’s no good for you. He hurts you. He hurt me—”

  “Don’t!” she shot, her finger aimed in my direction. “Don’t you do that. Don’t you spread your filth. Don’t you spread your lies.”

  “But they’re not and what’s worse, you know they’re not.”

  “You know what I know,” she said, getting up. “I know what you do to guys. I told you. I watched you down there just now. That’s what you do. You did it to Nathan and you’re doing it to that guy now to get what you want.”

  I wouldn’t do this with her. I refused.

  “This isn’t going to happen,” I told her, lifting my hands. “I’m not doing this and I won’t let you do this—not anymore.” And the avoidance wasn’t for her sake. It was for me.

  My heart couldn’t handle it.

  Dropping my arms, I went to take my shower, but she followed me, grabbing my arm before I could make it to the bathroom. She whipped me around and it took all I had to stay calm.

  “And you know what it is you do to guys?” she continued, her hands on her hips. “You tease. You flirt. You shake your shit around, so what else was Nathan supposed to think?”