Our First Dance

by Judy Lynn Hubbard

  “It looks great. Don’t worry about Momma. She’ll get used to it. After all, it is your hair.”

  “Tell that to her.” Nicole sighed expressively.

  Natasha chuckled in sympathy. “Momma will be Momma.”

  “How about going out for a fancy dinner, or are you too tired?” For the first time, she noticed her sister was dressed in her leotards and baggy sweatpants.

  “Too tired to share good food that I don’t have to cook and conversation with you? Never.” Natasha negatively shook her head. “Give me twenty minutes to shower and change.”

  “Fine. I’ll call Momma and let her know that I haven’t met a horrible fate for the few hours I’ve been here.”

  They both laughed, and then Natasha excused herself to go and get ready.

  * * *

  Forty minutes later, Natasha and Nicole were seated in a restaurant, sitting close, whispering like children.

  “So, Tash.” Nicole sipped her water. “Tell me about this new man in your life.”

  “What new man?” Natasha slowly countered.

  “The one who has placed this infectious smile on your lips.” Nicole pinched her cheek playfully. “You haven’t stopped smiling yet.”

  Natasha’s smile widened. “Is it a crime to be happy?”

  “No, but you’re always so serious. Happiness suits you, and I have a hunch a man is responsible for at least part of the change I sense in you.”

  “I can never fool you.” Natasha chuckled happily.

  “Then stop trying.”

  “I’m seeing someone. Damien—my boss.” Natasha admitted the latter on a whisper.

  Nicole’s eyes dilated in shock. “Your boss?”

  “Yes.” Natasha nodded. “I know, I know.”

  “Tash.” Nicole squeezed her hand. “Do you know what you’re doing?”

  “For the first time in my life relationshipwise, I think I do.”

  “How did this happen?”

  “I don’t know.” Natasha shook her head in awe. “It was the last thing I expected, but, Nicole, I—he’s just wonderful.”

  “Tell me about him,” Nicole invited.

  “First of all, he gave me the chance no one else would.”

  “I know you, Tash. Damien didn’t give you anything. You earned this role with hard work, dedication and persistence.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I know you’re grateful to him, but maybe…”

  “I am,” Natasha interrupted, paused meaningfully and assured, “but not that grateful. My feelings for Damien began as admiration and quickly changed to like. From the moment I met him, there was a spark of attraction between us. I didn’t intend to act on it and neither did he, but we couldn’t ignore our feelings—and believe me, we tried.”

  Nicole shook her head. “This is so unlike you, Tash.”

  “I know it is, but with Damien…” She paused, searching for the right words. “Nicole, I feel whole with him. He makes me want to enjoy life, and, more importantly, he accepts me for me.”

  “Accepts you how?”

  “You know having money has been a huge obstacle in getting people to take me seriously as a dancer.” At Nicole’s nod, she continued, “Damien doesn’t think I’m playing at being a ballerina the way so many others have. Without hesitation, he believed this part meant everything to me. I didn’t have to waste my breath trying to convince him of my dedication to dancing—he just knew. He doesn’t expect any special favors from me in return for the wonderful opportunity he’s given me—except devotion to the dance. He works me until I want to cry uncle, so much so that sometimes I want to murder him.” She laughed and Nicole joined her. “He just lets me be me, Nicole. I don’t have to pretend with him at all.”

  Nicole couldn’t help but smile at her sister’s radiant expression. “How long has this been going on?”

  “A few weeks. I know you’re thinking I’m rushing into this, but you know me, Nicole, I never rush into anything. I understand your concern. I share it, but if I could go back and change anything, I wouldn’t. Damien has taught me so much about myself and how to appreciate life.”

  “In a few short weeks?”

  “In a few short weeks,” Natasha assured. “We went ice skating, and Damien soon had everyone on the rink skating with us, playing silly games—in all the times I’ve skated in public, I’ve never done that before, and it was so much fun.” She chuckled at the memory. “We were pair skating and suddenly he stopped and kissed me right there in front of everybody and, Nicole, it was…”

  “Fabulous,” Nicole smilingly supplied.

  “Yes, it was—earth-shattering. I know that sounds cliché, but it was. That was such a magical night for me.”

  “I can see that in your face.” Nicole touched her hand. “Tell me more.”

  “After that, we both tried to ignore what had happened—tried to go back to being employer and employee. We held out for weeks until our retreat in Saratoga Springs. There, he taught me to ride a horse and we had a full-fledged snowball fight.” She laughed out loud. “We played like children and ended up lying in the snow, and we kissed again.” She closed her eyes briefly. “After that, everything changed between us—for the better.”

  “Well—” Nicole sipped her coffee “—this is serious, isn’t it?”

  “I think it could be.”

  “I’m happy for you, Tash,” Nicole stated. “But your boss? That could open a messy can of worms if you’re not careful.”

  “I know—we know.” Natasha acknowledged on a sigh. “No one is aware that we’re…dating. We keep things strictly professional when we’re at work.”

  “And how’s that working out?”

  “Perfectly so far, and I pray it continues that way.” Natasha crossed two fingers. “Nicole, I tried not to feel anything for him, really I did, but I couldn’t help it. I like him—a lot.”

  “And how does he feel about you?”

  Her smile brightened. “He likes me too.”

  “What about the future? Where do you see the two of you going from here?”

  “I’m not worrying about the future.” Natasha’s response was lightly delivered and completely untrue. “For once in my life, I’m just going to enjoy the here and now.”

  Nicole frowned. “And that’s enough for you?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Really, Tash?” Nicole studied her sister closely. “You don’t sound like a woman engaged in a casual affair.”

  “I’m happy, Nicole.” Natasha sidestepped her sister’s keen observation. “I’m really happy.”

  “I can see you are, but your feelings for Damien run deep. I don’t want you to be hurt.”

  “I won’t be. Everything I’ve worked so hard for is within my reach now, and I’ve met a wonderful man. I just want to enjoy…” Natasha’s words halted and she almost dropped her fork back into her plate as Damien strolled into the restaurant with a gorgeous brunette on his arm.

  She unsuccessfully fought to keep her mouth from dropping open as she watched them seated across the room, almost hidden by stray leaves and branches of various plants. Who was that woman? Who was that breathtakingly beautiful woman, she grudgingly amended.

  Whoever the woman was, they seemed to like each other very, very much. When he leaned close and whispered something into her diamond-studded ear, the woman burst into laughter before lightly tapping his cheek in reproof. Damien kissed her cheek and smiled at her as if he adored her.

  She felt rage slowly building within her. She knew she should look away before he saw her, but her eyes refused to obey. What was Damien doing out in public laughing and smiling with another woman?

  “What are you looking at?”

  “Nothing.” Natasha forced her eyes off of Damien
and his companion. “I was just surveying the room.”

  “Is it the couple sitting by the plants?” Nicole’s eyes followed the path her sister’s had just taken.

  “I don’t know what you mean.” Natasha took a hasty gulp of her coffee, which scalded her tongue and throat as it went down.

  “Tash, is that Damien?”

  “Yes.” Angry, hurt eyes returned to glance at Damien’s smiling face as he stared adoringly at his dinner companion. “That’s him.”

  “He’s very handsome.” Nicole’s curious eyes refocused on her sister’s. “Who is that with him?”

  That was the million-dollar question she herself wanted answered. Natasha’s lips thinned as her eyes were drawn back to Damien and his devastatingly beautiful companion. Just seconds ago, she had been singing his praises to her sister, and now she thought him to be a liar, a cheat and a cad!

  “Nicole, are you ready to go?” She stood without waiting for her sister’s response.

  “Of course,” Nicole answered. She rose and followed her out, having to almost run to keep up with her.

  Damien’s table was some way from the door, so she was sure they could get out without being detected, which they thankfully did. She angrily brushed away a stray tear from her cheek once they were safely outside.

  “Tash, it will be all right.” Nicole took a tissue out of her bag and handed it to her.

  “I’m so stupid!” She berated herself as the tears continued to fall heedlessly.

  “No you’re not!” Nicole hotly denied as they waited for a cab to stop. “Go back into the restaurant and confront him.”

  “I can’t, Nicole,” she whispered miserably.

  “Why not?” Nicole placed a hand on her hip. “You two are involved, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, but we don’t have exclusivity.”

  She couldn’t believe she said that; it was to make herself feel better, but it wasn’t working. True, they had never talked about seeing other people, but she had just assumed he wouldn’t want to, and she certainly didn’t.

  “That’s bull! You just spent the last ten minutes telling me how crazy you are about him.”

  “Obviously he doesn’t share my feelings.”

  “Maybe his dinner companion is just a friend.”

  “Maybe.” Natasha didn’t sound convinced.

  “Will you say something to him in the morning?”

  “I don’t know.” She sighed.

  “Want some advice?” Nicole took her hand.

  “Please.”

  “Tell him you saw him tonight. It will eat you alive if you don’t.”

  “You’re right about that,” she admitted. “But I can’t and won’t cause a scene at work.”

  “Well, invite him to dinner and then cause a scene.”

  She laughed as Nicole intended. “Maybe I will. Hey, don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl and I’ll be fine.” She wished she was as confident as she sounded. “Let’s grab a cab.”

  She walked away so that Nicole wouldn’t see the monumental hurt forming in her eyes—echoing that in her heart. What a fool she had been to think she meant anything to Damien. What a fool she had been to ever allow him to mean so much to her.

  Chapter 10

  After a miserable night of imagining Damien and that unnamed woman doing all sorts of sexual acts, Natasha forced herself to walk into rehearsal the next morning with a blank expression. Naturally, her first sight was Damien’s smiling face as he talked with a female ballerina, who was hanging on his every word, further incensing her. He glanced up briefly at her entrance and smiled at her, but she didn’t acknowledge him.

  She nodded curtly to the other dancers in the room and tried to ignore him. Somehow she remained aloof and professional, despite the fact that she was beyond angry. She hated feeling like this, but she was unable to control the insane jealousy coursing through her veins every time she glanced at Damien.

  She made it through the morning rehearsals with uttering only a handful of words. As soon as her friends realized she was not in the talking mood, they stopped trying to engage her. At the lunchtime break, she retreated to her dressing room and prayed for the strength to make it through the afternoon and evening rehearsals; however, if they dragged on the way the morning had, she didn’t know how she was going to stand it.

  “Natasha, what’s wrong with you?”

  Damien’s voice snapped her head up from its previous position of resting in her hands. She stared at his handsome hide as he entered her dressing room.

  “Nothing.” She quickly looked away.

  “It can’t be nothing,” he contradicted. He walked farther into her dressing room and closed the door behind him. “You’ve been distracted all morning.”

  “I have a lot on my mind.” To avoid looking at him, she bent down to tighten the already binding lace of her pink slippers.

  “Like what.” He leaned against the door and folded his arms across his chest. “What is it?”

  “Nothing,” she contradicted herself. “I’m just tired. My sister surprised me last night with a visit and we were up late.”

  She wished he would go away; despite her anger, the pure male scent of him was driving her crazy. Damn him and damn herself for still falling prey to his undeniable magnetism. She just wanted to touch him, to feel his flesh beneath her fingertips and to pull that wonderfully skilled mouth down to hers.

  He walked over and kneeled down beside her. “I still don’t understand your bad mood.”

  She forced herself to look at him and sighed to enhance her lie. “Nicole wanted to go out to dinner, and by the time we did that and returned home it was late, and then we talked and talked.” She shrugged. “I’m just exhausted.”

  Why didn’t he go away and leave her alone before she confronted him on his choice of dinner companions, before she made an utter fool of herself? She was fighting with every ounce of restraint she possessed to keep a rein on the angry words that wanted so desperately to burst from her mouth. She was determined not to argue with him here at work.

  “I’m sorry you overdid it last night, but I need you to get focused on dancing.” He stood and placed his hands on his hips. “Need I remind you the ballet premieres in a few weeks?”

  “No, you don’t have to remind me.” Her spine stiffened at his reprimanding tone. “I’ll be fine once rehearsal resumes.”

  “See to it that you are.” He turned to leave, but stopped. “You should get in some practice during your break. I expect a much better performance from you after lunch.”

  “Yes, sir,” she dryly responded.

  He raised an eyebrow at her before ordering, “I suggest you get to it and don’t be late when rehearsal resumes.”

  “I won’t.”

  He left and she fought down the urge to pick up something and throw it at the closed door. Even though he didn’t owe her anything, she felt betrayed, and for the life of her she couldn’t shake that feeling. However, she would be damned if he would have fault with her performance when rehearsal resumed. She was a professional and she would act like it if it killed her. Squaring her shoulders, she opened her door to go search for Erina for some intensive practice, praying hard work would diminish her bad mood.

  * * *

  Once she made it home that night, Natasha considered opening the twelve-year-old bottle of Scotch she had bought her father for Christmas to help her forget the day from hell she had just lived through, but she quickly decided against it. Instead, she cleaned her apartment from top to bottom until it was sparkling. Then, she cleaned out her closet—a task she had been avoiding for months—and finally cleaned the oven and repapered her kitchen shelves.

  It took several hours until she had finished her onerous projects. By that time her anger, instead of dissipating,
had only increased. Nothing would relieve it except for her confronting Damien—the thing she refused to do. As she had told Nicole last night, they had never talked about being monogamous—though she had certainly expected it; apparently Damien had not.

  She walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa with a glass of apple juice instead of alcohol. She smiled mockingly at the amber liquid and brought the glass to her lips, but before she could take a sip, the doorbell rang. Sighing in frustration, she set her drink down and walked over to open the door, revealing the object of her anger and generally dismal mood.

  Damien walked uninvited into her apartment. She reluctantly closed the door, walked over and sat back down on the sofa while resisting an impulse to pick up her drink and throw it into his damned handsome face.

  “What do you want?” She glared at him unceremoniously, and when he sat down beside her, she stood to walk a few feet away from him.

  “Well, hello to you too.” He stood, placed a hand on her arm and turned her to face him.

  She snatched her arm out of his grasp. “I don’t want to be bothered tonight, Damien.”

  “What’s wrong with you?” His eyes narrowed at her sour demeanor and actions.

  “Why are you always asking me that?”

  “Because you always give me a reason to,” he shot back. “Now answer me. What’s gotten into you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t give me that, Natasha. Are you angry because I was hard on you today at work?”

  “No, of course not.” She ran fingers through her hair. “You had every right to be.”

  “I know that. I wasn’t apologizing.”

  His words and tone rankled her already frayed nerves. “Of course you weren’t.”

  “Do you expect me to?” If she did, she was in for a rude awakening.

  “You? Apologize?” He frowned at her sarcasm, and she continued in the same tones. “I won’t hold my breath for that to happen.”

  “I don’t know what’s the matter with you.” His mouth set in determined lines. “But if we have to stand here all night until you explain yourself, that’s what we’re going to do.”