Second Draft

by C. M. Seabrook

  “I’m just going to feed and change him,” the nurse says, giving me a look that’s filled with compassion.

  With a shuddering breath, I hand him to her, then slowly stand, meeting the doctor’s gaze.

  “Layla?” I ask, my voice shaking.

  “There’s been some complications and we’ve had to take her back into surgery.”

  I wish I hadn’t stood, because I’m pretty sure my legs are going to give out on me.

  “How…what happened?”

  “She’s still hemorrhaging. They’re trying to stop the bleeding.”

  I can hear the unsaid words, the seriousness of the situation.

  “I thought they stopped it. You said she was going to be all right.”

  “She was stable, but like I said, there were complications in post-op.”

  Scrubbing my hands over my face, I feel the floor is giving out on me.

  “Mr. Bennett. If there are any other family members that need to be called, I suggest you call them now.”

  Because they’re not sure if she’s going to make it.

  I sit down heavily.

  Agony slices my chest, and I crumple forward with my face in my hands, because I realize that I may still lose her.

  Chapter 27

  Carter

  Two hours turns into four, then six. No one seems to want to give me any answers.

  I called Kira, and she came immediately, but she’s just as freaked out as I am, and her constant tears are only stressing me out.

  And I have no idea where Travis went. For all I know the cops took him to the station to question him about what happened, maybe they arrested him, or maybe he just took off again.

  The nurses changed shifts a couple of hours ago, and I don’t know the new one that comes into the room to check on the baby. The baby – he still doesn’t have a name.

  My throat tightens at the thought of Layla never getting to see him, never having the chance to hold him.

  I meant what I promised. He’s mine. No matter what happens to her, I’ll raise him as my own, and love him the same. Nothing will change that. But even the possibility of doing it alone makes my heart pound painfully in my chest.

  Kira paces the room, dark circles under her swollen eyes. “Why isn’t anyone coming to tell us what’s going on?”

  I shift the baby in my arms when he starts to stir. He’s going to be hungry again soon.

  There’s a knock on the door, and both Kira and I jump.

  Max, Kira’s boyfriend pops his head in, then opens the door, carrying a tray of coffees and a brown paper bag. “I thought you could use some caffeine and food.”

  I know he’s trying to be helpful, but I can’t help resent the casual tone in his voice.

  Layla is somewhere in the damn hospital fighting for her life, and he’s bringing donuts and bagels.

  “You should eat something,” Kira says. “I can hold him–”

  “I’m fine,” I snap, seeing the look she exchanges with Max, but I don’t fucking care. All I care about is knowing what the hell is going on with the woman I love.

  “She’s going to be fine,” Kira says, moving towards me, and placing a hand on my arm. “Layla’s a fighter, and she has everything to live for.”

  All I can do is nod, because words fail me.

  I pray that she’s right, but when the door opens again, and the doctor walks in, her expression morose, I clench my back teeth, and prepare myself for the worst.

  “She’s out of surgery. All we can do now is wait.”

  Wait. That’s all I’ve been fucking doing.

  “I need to see her.”

  “Just one of you,” the doctor says.

  “Go.” Kira motions for me to hand her the baby.

  Numbly, I follow the doctor.

  Shock and grief hit me like a baseball bat to the chest when I see Layla. There are tubes and machines everywhere, and her face is pale – too pale. She looks so damn fragile.

  “You have to fight, sweetheart,” I whisper, brushing her hair away from her face. “You have to fight for me, and for our son.”

  Taking her hand, careful of the IV attached, I bring it to my lips, and kiss each knuckle.

  “Fight for our happy ending. Just don’t…” Tears choke me. “Don’t give up.”

  There’s no response, and I don’t expect one. The doctor told me that she’s still heavily sedated, and she will be for a long time.

  What I’m not prepared for is the sudden high pitch beeping of the monitors. Almost immediately the room is filled with people, and I’m being ushered out.

  “What’s going on?”

  “You need to wait outside, sir.”

  “She’s crashing,” someone says, making the ground beneath me feel like it’s giving out.

  One glance at the heat monitor, and I see the flat line running across the screen, which only jumps when someone begins chest compressions.

  “Layla,” I cry out, needing to get to her, to force her to fight, to live.

  “Sir, you can’t be in here.”

  “I’m not leaving.” My heart speeds up, an erratic pounding in my chest.

  “You need to let us do our jobs.” Her hands are on me, pushing me from the room, and the doors are being shut in my face.

  God, no. This can’t be the end. This isn’t the way our story is supposed to unfold. I’m supposed to marry her, eventually have more children. Not this.

  I lean against the cold wall, and slowly slide to the floor.

  Powerless.

  Broken.

  We never know when our lives are about to shift. Maybe if we did, we’d do things differently.

  Regret curls my stomach.

  I know I can’t blame myself for this. I don’t even know if I can blame Travis. From what the nurse explained, sometimes there are just complications. But maybe if I’d been with her, if I hadn’t left her alone, even for those few hours, maybe she wouldn’t be in there right now fighting for her life.

  I bury my face in my hands and choke back a sob.

  The doors open, and a nurse runs out, down the hall.

  I look up at the clock on the wall, each second stretching out as time moves excruciatingly slow.

  Tick.

  Tick.

  Tick.

  Each moment that passes, I prepare my heart for the worst. Bracing myself for the impact of losing the only woman I’ve ever loved.

  Live, I pray silently. Live, damn it.

  A deep, guttural sound fills the air, and it takes me a moment to realize that it’s coming from me. I bury my hand in my face and let grief wrack through me, because my strength is completely shattered.

  “Sir?” A nurse crouches beside me.

  I blink up at her, pleading with my eyes for good news, not ready for anything else.

  “She’s stable. You can see her now.”

  Chapter 28

  Layla

  When I try to open my eyes, it’s like they’re being weighed down by cement. Sluggishly, I blink them open. Fluorescent lights, and the sound of beeping, make me feel like I’m on a really bad techno acid trip. It takes me a moment to realize I’m in a hospital room.

  The baby. Panic surges through me, causing the beeping to speed up. Frantic, my eyes dart around the room.

  Carter is instantly beside me, taking my hand, stroking my cheek. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re all right. I’m here.”

  “Carter.” My voice feels like it’s coated in asphalt.

  “I’m here.” There are dark circles under his eyes.

  “The…baby.”

  “He’s fine.” He continues to stroke my cheek.

  “He?”

  Carter’s lips twist up in a small smile, and when he starts to move away, I instantly panic.

  “I’m not leaving.” He kisses my forehead, then straightens.

  I watch him move around my bed to a small bassinette that’s positioned beside the chair he must have been sleeping on, evidenced by the pillow and
blanket, and I wonder how long I’ve been out for.

  Carefully, Carter reaches in and picks up the small bundle, eliciting a small cry.

  “Your Mommy wants to meet you,” Carter whispers, cradling the small bundle against his chest like he’s the most precious thing in the world.

  I try to sit up, but I’m so weak, I can barely shift myself even an inch.

  Carter moves beside me and holds the baby, so that I can see him.

  He’s beautiful. Tiny little nose, full bow lips that purse in his sleep. Instantly my eyes cloud with tears.

  “Hello Joshua.” I’m able to bring my hand up to gently stroke my fingers across his cheek. I want to hold him, but already the heaviness of sleep pulls at me, and I know I’m not strong enough.

  “Joshua?” Carter says, smiling. “That was my father’s name.”

  “I know.” I try to smile back, but my face feels heavy, and despite my efforts to keep them open, my eyelids flutter close. It takes all my strength to open them again. “What…happened?”

  “You don’t remember?” His brows draw down.

  “Travis came back,” I say, as images start to form a memory.

  “Did he…” A muscle in Carter’s jaw bunches. “I need to know if he hurt you?”

  “He didn’t mean to.” My words are slurred, each one an effort to say.

  “Did he hit you?”

  “No.”

  Carter breathes out a heavy breath and nods.

  “I’m so tired.”

  “Rest.” He presses his against my forehead.

  “Don’t leave.” My eyes shut, and I feel myself being pulled back into the warmth of sleep.

  “I won’t leave either of you. I promise.”

  Chapter 29

  Carter

  “How is she?” Travis hovers by the hospital room door, his grief-stricken gaze resting on Layla.

  I grind my back teeth and take a steadying breath, the baby in my arms the only thing stopping me from lashing out at my brother.

  “You shouldn’t be here.”

  “I know.” He winces and looks down at the floor. “I just wanted to check on her. On...” His gaze drops to the bundle in my arms and his eyes widen slightly. “He’s…small.”

  “Babies are,” I grunt, holding Joshua closer, every possessive instinct stirring inside me.

  “I know. I’ve just never seen one so new.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Did she name him?”

  “Joshua.”

  “After Dad?” His brows draw up.

  I nod.

  “That’s good. He would have liked that.”

  Layla stirs, but she doesn’t wake.

  “What did the police say?” I ask, watching him suspiciously. I hate that it’s come to this between us, but I don’t know how things will ever be different now.

  Travis shifts from one foot to the other nervously.

  “They took my statement. The paramedics called them when they saw my hand. They wanted to know if I…hit her. I’m not sure if they believed me. I think they’re going to want to talk to Layla when she’s awake.”

  “She told me that you didn’t hit her.”

  Relief floods his face, like he wasn’t sure what she’d say. “The police want me to stay in town for a couple days.”

  I narrow my gaze on him.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll just go back to the house to get my stuff. I’ll be gone before she’s ready to go home.”

  I don’t say anything, just watch him, feeling the chasm that’s between us. Maybe it’s always been there, or maybe I put it there. I just know that I barely know the man standing in front of me.

  “You really do love her, don’t you?” His brows are drawn down as he looks between me and her.

  “More than anything,” I say truthfully.

  He exhales heavily. “That’s good. I know they’ll both be safe with you.”

  I give a brisk nod, still wary. “They’re my family now. And I’ll do anything to protect them.”

  “I know.”

  My throat clenches shut, and force the next words out of my mouth. “But you’re Joshua’s biological father. If you want to be part of his life, I won’t stop you.”

  Travis looks at me hard for a long moment, then he shakes his head. “Once I’m cleared, I’m going to head north again. For good. It’s better that way. For everyone.”

  I can’t say I’m not relieved by his decision, but my chest also hurts at what I’m losing. What I’ve already lost.

  “You’re still my brother, Travis. That won’t change.”

  He leans against the wall, a sad smile playing on his lips. “For a long time, I blamed you for Dad. Felt like you took him away from me when you pulled the plug.”

  “I didn’t have a choice.” My defenses immediately go up.

  “Yes you did.” He puts a hand up to stop me when I open my mouth to argue. “You could have waited until I’d gotten better. Given me a chance to say goodbye.”

  “He was already gone. He wouldn’t have known you were there.”

  “But I would have known.”

  The truth hits me. I’d never really understood his anger until right now. Making the decision without him was only one in a long list of times when I’d treated him as something less – never an equal.

  I lost more than just my parents that day, I also lost my brother.

  “I’m sorry for not waiting and for not being around more. Maybe things would have been different if I had.”

  “Maybe.” He gives me one of his crooked grins, but there’s only sad acceptance in his eyes. “But then, I’ve always been a screw up.”

  I can’t argue with that.

  “You don’t have to be.”

  He chuckles. “Yeah, but then where’s the fun in that? Live fast, die hard, right?”

  I shake my head at him. “You’ve got a second chance here. Don’t fuck it up.”

  “Yeah.” His lips tighten, then he glances once more at Joshua, his expression tightening. “He’s going to be one lucky kid.”

  I frown, hearing the goodbye in his voice.

  With a sigh, he turns and disappears out the door, and I know it’s going to be a long time before I see or hear from him again.

  Chapter 30

  Layla

  My body is slowly healing. It’s taken almost three months, but I’m starting to feel like myself again. Well, myself with a new appreciation of life and second chances.

  Almost dying will do that to you.

  Walking down the stairs doesn’t hurt as much as it did, or take as much effort.

  I can hear Carter in the living room. Joshua’s soft coos in response to whatever Carter is saying to him.

  My mouth tugs up when I take the last step, and see the two of them on the couch, Joshua in Carter’s lap as he reads to him.

  Joshua’s eyes widen and he flaps his tiny fists excitedly when Carter flips the page.

  I lean against the wall and watch them, my heart swelling.

  This.

  Carter.

  Joshua.

  My family.

  It’s more than I’d ever thought I’d get. More than I ever thought I deserved.

  I never saw Travis after what happened. He sent me a letter a few weeks ago, apologizing and promising he’d stay out of our lives. That he’ll never do anything to come between Carter and I.

  In a way, I feel sorry for him. I know he lost in all this. Yes, he made some bad choices, but I hope one day that he and Carter will be able to reconcile.

  I don’t know what that’ll look like, but I can’t live in fear. Carter is Joshua’s father now. Legally and emotionally.

  He’s done everything for both of us during my recovery. Sometimes I’m awed by how easy he fell into the role. I’m still struggling a bit, but each day it gets better, and with Carter’s support, I’m learning.

  My chest squeezes with how much I love him, both of them.

  Joshua lets out a small squeal of delight, and Carter l
aughs with him.

  Every time I see them together my heart does this little dance in my chest. Seeing the mountain of a man, with his dark ink, and rough calloused hands, being so gentle, makes me fall in love with him all over again. And I didn’t think I could love him anymore than I already did.

  The epitome of everything my mother ever warned me about. I chuckle under my breath, because right from the start he’d been my hero, I just couldn’t see it.

  As if sensing my presence, Carter glances over at me and smiles. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” I grin back, my skin warming just from a single look. “It’s his naptime.”

  “Awe, Mom,” Carter teases, “Just one more book.”

  I laugh and nod watching him pick up another little cardboard book, and starting his exaggerated rendition of the ABCs.

  For so long I’d tried to fight my feelings for him, fear motivating my every action. Always afraid that if I let myself believe in something good, that it would be ripped away from me. I’m not saying that it isn’t always a possibility. Life is chaos, and sometimes brutal. But hiding from happiness only guarantees you’ll never get it. Better to experience each moment fully, then to spend your whole life isolated and alone.

  “Marry me,” I say, making Carter’s gaze jerk back to mine. I lick my lips, and repeat, “Marry me.”

  His expression goes serious, but he doesn’t say anything, just stands and places Joshua in the playpen, then turns back to me.

  “Ask me again,” he demands, stalking towards me, heat in his gaze.

  I grin up at him and tease, “I’m only asking once, if that’s not good enough–”

  His lips crash down on mine.

  “Yes,” he growls against my mouth, kissing me harder.

  I wrap my arms around his neck and give into the heat and possessiveness of the kiss.

  His fingers tangle in my hair, and when he pulls back, I can see the elation in his eyes. No man has or will ever make me feel the way he does with one single glance. Like I’m important and cherished.

  I glance over at Joshua through the mesh of the playpen. It’s past his naptime, and already his eyes are closing. “Looks like we have at least thirty minutes to ourselves.”