Gunnar

by Kimber White

  It would be so much easier if I just went to them. No more fighting. No more pain. I took a faltering step forward, then another. Soon, I was running again.

  Eleven

  Gunnar

  Jett was still by the water’s edge. She spun around as she sensed my approach. I took slow, measured steps, letting my paws sink into the sand. Then, I froze, waiting for her. She bit her bottom lip, hesitating. Then, she came to me. I nuzzled her leg. She reached for me. With shaking fingers, she ran her hand over my head, curving them around my ear. Her fingers sank into my soft fur and her breath caught. I’d never let anyone touch me this way. Not when I was in my wolf. I let out a sharp whine then stepped away.

  Jett’s breath caught. She held her hand out where she’d touched me, frozen. I turned and loped up the hill to the deeper part of the woods. I wanted nothing more than to stay in my wolf and run until my legs gave out. But, the longer I took to shift, the easier it would be for the Pack to find me. If I could hear them in the distance, soon they’d be able to hear me.

  I let out a breath and took a single step. For an instant, I didn’t think the shift would come. It had been so long since I had to think about how to do it, I thought I’d lost my way. But, then my claws retracted and my fingers stretched out before me.

  There was movement in the trees behind me as Jett made her way up from the beach. I grabbed my jeans and pulled them back on, buttoning them just as Jett approached. I turned to her.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I’m okay. Better anyway.”

  “You look better,” she said, breathless. She grew bold. She came up to me and lifted her fingers to my face. “Your hair,” she said. “It’s almost gold. It was darker before. And your eyes are clearer too. They’re blue!”

  It was as if I’d been viewing the world through a darkened film for weeks. Now, that had been peeled away, revealing bright, vibrant colors. I saw Jett in a different light as well. I’d thought her skin pale. Instead, she had an almost olive complexion. I caught her hand, circling my fingers around her wrist. My pulse quickened and hers did too.

  Letting my wolf out cleared my head, but it also made my baser instincts flare even hotter. Jett. This woman. She meant something. I stepped closer to her, keeping her wrist in my hand. She didn’t pull away. A pulse flickered near her throat. Her breasts pebbled beneath the thin cotton of her black t-shirt. What I wouldn’t give to slide my hand beneath the fabric and feel her skin warm beneath mine.

  “Gunnar,” she said, her voice catching. “What happened out there? I heard you...howl.”

  “It’s the Pack,” I said simply. “The Alpha himself. We’re not going to be safe out here forever.”

  “Is there somewhere else we can go?” Jett looked at me with those wide, dark eyes, blinking wildly. It seemed like such an innocent question, but experience made me cautious. Though my heart didn’t want to let me believe it, I still didn’t know who she was or where she came from. Every instinct in me told me what she was to me, but I couldn’t let the words form in my mind. I knew what Liam, Payne, and Mac would say. I couldn’t trust her. Not yet. Her appearance at Camp Hell was too damn convenient. Just when Maestro had given up and was about to turn me over to the Pack she showed up.

  “Gunnar?” she said, sensing a shift in my mood. Dammit, all of this could be part of the Alpha’s plan. Get me to tell her where the rest of my men were hiding. Bring down the Mammoth Forest wolves once and for all.

  “I can’t,” I said, finally letting go of her. “I’m sorry. I can’t take you back with me. Not yet.”

  She shook her head as if she were trying to clear it. She let out a little laugh and brought her arms up, crossing them in front of her. It was a defensive posture and I’d seen her do it a lot. “I suppose you think I’m going to just lead you right to my camp,” she said.

  Her words struck me like a blow to the chest. Of course she had the same fears about trusting me as I did her.

  “I’m not stopping you,” I said. “Go if you want.” It was a bluff. In this cold, she’d never make it through the night. And I would never let her leave without me. If the Pack found her…I couldn’t even complete the thought before a protective growl erupted from some deep place inside of me. Jett jumped, startled by the sound.

  “So you can just follow my trail? I don’t think so. I’m staying right here until I know it’s safe. Or safer.”

  I smiled. “Well, then we’re at an impasse. You don’t trust me to take me back to your hideout. I don’t trust you to take me back to mine. Of the two of us, I’m the only one who’s kept my promises. I told you what I knew about Birch Haven. You think that wasn’t a risk?”

  Her mouth dropped open, then comically snapped shut. I had her speechless. I think that might have been a first. I took a step toward her. She took one back.

  “So why don’t you tell me about Birch Haven? Tell me who you really are.”

  She started to pace. “Jett. I told you my name is Jett. Jett Magrum.”

  “And you escaped from Birch Haven,” I said. She whirled on me.

  “I never said that.”

  “You didn’t have to. You knew too much about it to have been on the outside. People on the outside thought it was a nice private college. You probably got a scholarship there that was too good to be true. Then, you found out what it really was. So what I want to know is how. How did you escape? You had to have help. From who?”

  Her arms went up again, crossing herself. “And if I tell you that, I put them at risk.”

  “From who? What do I need to do to convince you I’m not part of the Pack? You saw me kill one of them. And about that.” I went to her. She had her nine holstered at her hip. She gasped as I reached for it. I didn’t disarm her, but I caught her wrists with one hand and ran my fingers over the stock of the gun with the other.

  “Those aren’t regular bullets. What are they? Where did you get them?”

  We were so close. I only meant to examine the gun. But now I stood with my chest pressed against Jett’s. The scent of her hair filled my nostrils. Her rapid pulse quickened mine. Her rock hard nipples against my skin did me in. My knees went weak and my vision clouded.

  Mine. Mine!

  I froze. Jett’s pupils widened and a tiny bead of sweat formed on her upper lip as she brought her chin up and up. It was her move I knew, not mine. When she made it, the earth seemed to shift out of orbit for a moment.

  Jett tilted her face toward mine. I took one breath, then another. Then, I leaned in and kissed her. A tiny groan escaped her lips as she sank into it. Her little tongue darted out and I let go of her wrists. Jett slid her arms up, pressing her palms against my chest. I looped an arm around her waist and pulled her to me.

  Heat. Light. Electricity. My blood sizzled and my nerve endings lit with fire. Though I couldn’t be sure yet if she was working for the Pack, one thing was clear. She was mine. There could be no doubt.

  Twelve

  Jett

  I was hollow, hungry, aching for something. Only until this moment, I’d never realized it. The instant Gunnar’s lips touched mine, everything else washed away. There was just the two of us. This time. This kiss. This heat.

  A wave rose up and carried me with it. I’d been struggling against the current for so long, now that I let go and let it take me everything clicked into place. A moment ago, I had been freezing. Now, Gunnar’s warmth spread through me. We fit.

  Every cell in my body seemed to align and send a single message shooting to both my brain and my core. Him. This man. Gunnar. My need for him built with such force my knees buckled. Desire spooled through me, settling in my core. I was wet, throbbing, breathless.

  Gunnar broke away first. His wolf eyes flashed bright silver. His lips parted and the tips of his fangs grew. It was startling, dangerous, and dead sexy.

  “Jett,” he gasped. He seemed as dazed as I was at the hunger rising between us.

  No. I can’t have this. He’s a shifter. He’s dangerous. If the Pac
k...no...when the Pack finally caught up to him, they would turn him into the thing I’d been running from for more than three years.

  “Jett,” he said again, reaching for me. Shock made his eyes widen, going from silver back to blue. Whatever happened inside of me, he was having an even harder time processing it. I wanted to reach for him. My eyes snapped to the bulge in his jeans. I ached for him. My sex throbbed, wanting so badly to be filled.

  I shook my head then brought my hands up, smashing them against my temples as if I could drive the desire out of me. I knew I couldn’t. On a preternatural level, I knew I never could again.

  “I can’t,” I said, panting. “Gunnar…”

  He caught my arm, his eyes still wide and desperate. “I wouldn’t hurt you. Do you understand that? I’m not like them. Birch Haven...that’s not what I am. And I’m not alone. There are plenty of other shifters, Alphas like me who refuse to live that way.”

  We stood frozen, connected to each other by our eyes and the searing heat of his fingers on my arm. My heart beat wildly then began to slow. He was doing something to me. For days, I’d pretended he wasn’t. But, somehow Gunnar’s heart beat with mine.

  Slowly, he lifted his fingers from my arm and stepped back. We both needed space and air. Gunnar scanned the trees, his eyes darting left and right. He sucked in a great breath and tilted his head toward the north.

  “Can you sense them?” I asked.

  When he opened his eyes, I saw his wolf for a second, then he went calm. “Yes,” he answered simply. “They aren’t close, but they’re out there. They’re not going to stop until they find me.”

  He tore a hand through his hair then trudged back up the embankment. He found the rotted log and sat on it. I went to him. I wasn’t ready to sit beside him or get close to him yet. My rocketing heart steadied. I felt more like myself. I needed to think straight.

  “What are we?” The question just flew out of me. This was uncharted territory for me. I understood the Pack as well as any non-shifter could. They hunted. They took human women for forced mates. The Alpha controlled Pack members absolutely then tortured and killed any who tried to break free. Gunnar was completely different.

  Gunnar lifted his head slowly and smiled. “That’s the million dollar question, Jett. I only know what I am. You’re new to me.”

  His words came out uneven and halting, like he was holding something back. “I think we’re safe here for now. Tomorrow, we’re going to have to figure out what to do. I have people waiting for me. People I care about. They’re not going to understand about you.”

  Gunnar raised a thick brow and scratched his chin. “I think that’s an understatement. I’ll do what I can to help you get back to them.”

  I don’t know what made me do it. Hell, I didn’t know why I did anything where Gunnar was concerned now. When this started, it was about a promise to a friend. Now, it was something so much more. I sat beside him and pulled the faded photograph out of my pocket.

  “Jasmine,” I said. “Did I tell you her name?”

  “You did,” he said. He took the picture from me, careful not to let our fingers touch.

  “There were twelve us who escaped from Birch Haven. One of the shifters helped us. He was maybe like you, I think. I mean...not an Alpha. He wasn’t big like you. But, he knew what was happening to the women there was wrong. Anyway, he got us out. His name was Bates. He’s dead because of it. He helped us on the outside for a while. Brought us food, told us where to hide to avoid the Pack. Then, about a year after we got away, he told us my friend Jade’s sister had been brought to Birch Haven.”

  “God,” Gunnar sighed. “I’m so sorry. What happened to Bates?”

  “He was good, but eventually, the Pack figured out he was helping us. They followed him. He was at our camp one night and sensed them coming. We had to...he begged us to…”

  “You killed him,” Gunnar finished for me. “Just like I made you promise to do to me. He would have rather died than let the Pack control him anymore or find the rest of you.”

  Now that I’d started talking, everything seemed to rush out of me. The cautious part of my heart beat out a warning. I knew so little about this man. What I did know should have been enough to make me shoot him just like he’d asked me to.

  “Jade was the closest thing to a sister I ever had. She was my roommate when we first got to Birch Haven. She came from a worse background than I did. She and her little sister had been in foster care. It killed her to leave Jasmine but she thought Birch Haven would give her a chance to make something of herself so the two of them would have something, you know? It’s all she talked about.”

  Gunnar reached for me. “What happened to you? I mean, before.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek. My skin warmed where Gunnar touched me. I wanted so much more. I hadn’t thought about the “before” part of my life in so long, much less talked about it. “My father was a shifter. My mother was human. They were forced together. I didn’t realize that at the time. It was only after Birch Haven that I fully understood what the Pack really does. He wasn’t around much. I only have fleeting memories of him. My mother told me he died. She said he was killed in action. The army or something. I know now that was a lie. Hal Magrum was killed in service to the Pack. It was my mom’s idea to send me to Birch Haven. We had no money. I got a scholarship. She was...unhappy. She was a disappointment to my father and a failure to the Pack. When she had me there were complications. She couldn’t have any more kids. So…”

  “So she wasn’t useful to them anymore. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

  “But you left,” I said. “How? Why?”

  Gunnar dropped his head. He wouldn’t look at me at first. Whatever his answer, I knew instinctively he was ashamed of it. My heart fluttered with all the possibilities. What exactly had he done for the Pack before he broke away?

  “I was young,” he said. “I got recruited at sixteen. I was to be a soldier for the Alpha. They sent me to a training camp along with three other guys from my neighborhood. They were good. I was better.”

  Gunnar let go of me. He rose and walked toward a tall, gnarled oak tree. Placing his palm flat against it, he seemed to need the support to get the rest of his words out. I wanted desperately to go to him. My need for his touch burned through me. I stayed still.

  “I was a star,” he said bitterly. “Faster. Stronger. No matter what it was. I could hunt anything. Fell anything. When the Pack officers tried to break me down, they couldn’t. I was going to make my own father proud. God, I didn’t even know him. Never met him. He was dead before I was born. My mother told me he was one of the Alpha’s top generals twenty years ago. Anson Cole.”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  Gunnar didn’t look at me. He stared straight ahead. “I was too good too fast. Made the others recruits look bad. One of them, Sean Sutter. He was one of the neighborhood friends I enlisted with. He started turning the others against me. They planted literature in my bunk. Seditious shit against the Alpha. Sabotaged me with the officers and made them think I was thinking of rebelling. So, one day, one of the generals came to question me. He was so strong. The pull he had was almost overwhelming. It scared me. After he interrogated me, I overheard him talking to the officers. He told them there was no hope for me that I was too rebellious. They were going to kill me. So, I escaped. And the further I got away from the Pack’s influence, the more I was able to clear my head and see them for what they really were. You could say Sutter and the others did me a favor.”

  “That’s when you found the other resistance fighters?” It just popped out. I’d been so riveted by Gunnar’s story I didn’t think about my choice of words. He turned on me though, eyes flashing. He crossed the distance between us in two powerful strides and grabbed me by the wrists, pulling me to my feet.

  “Am I an idiot?” he said. It didn’t seem like he was talking to me. “They’re good. God. They’re so good. I thought Maestro was the best there was. B
ut this...you...you make me want to tell you things. You make me want to trust you. What I just told you, about Sean Sutter, I haven’t uttered his name, told anyone about him in all these years.”

  My heartbeat quickened, feeling like it slammed against my ribcage. I couldn’t breathe. Gunnar’s grip was so tight. He terrified me at the same time he drew me in.

  “I’m not working for the Pack,” I said. “That isn’t who I am. Everything I told you about myself is true.”

  He loosened his grip and I snapped my arms away from him. Sweat trickled between my shoulderblades. I gathered my hair in one hand and turned my back to him, exposing the nape of my neck.

  “See?” I said. “No mark.” Gunnar let out an almost imperceptible groan. The sensitive flesh at the base of my neck flared hot. No, I hadn’t been marked by a wolf, but in that instant, I desperately wanted to be. Dropping my hair, I whirled around to face him.

  Gunnar’s wolf eyes flared. His lips quivered and I saw his fangs had dropped again. Oh, yes, I wanted him. It scared me to think how badly. He said he wasn’t with them. But, how could I know for sure? Is this what happened to Melanie? The wolf who marked her was stronger, sure, but she said herself she hadn’t put up a fight. She’d wanted to, but it was if her body wasn’t her own. He controlled it even before he marked her.

  “So you don’t trust me, and I don’t trust you,” I said, moving further away from him. “And yet, here we both are. You’re stronger and faster than I could ever be, but that doesn’t mean I can’t defend myself.” I pulled my gun out of my pack and leveled it at him. Inside, I trembled, but somehow I kept my aim steady and straight at Gunnar’s heart.

  “You can’t hurt me unless I allow it,” he said, but his tone was more defeatist than threatening. I kept my hands steady, my finger on the trigger. This was a military-issued Sig Sauer. There was no safety, nothing to cock. Just point and shoot.