“It’s not a joke, Faye. Did you?”
“What difference does it make?”
“It matters.”
“Why?” I bit down on my plump bottom lip in a way that I knew would make his dick even harder, worrying the flesh with my white teeth. “Are you jealous?”
The word had barely left my mouth when his lips smashed into mine. He held his hand firmly in my hair while he ravaged me. His lips forcing mine open, his tongue snaking inside to duel with mine. I kissed him back. Of course I kissed him back. There was no helping it. Nothing else mattered when Rhett’s lips were on mine. Sarah didn’t matter, Taylor didn’t, my mom didn’t, Richard didn’t. None of them existed here and now. None of them could fit in the space between Rhett and I. We were in our own little fucked up world behind a shed in a parking lot where I fucked men for money. Money that I spent on drugs—with one of those men unconscious a few feet away.
All I could feel was Rhett. His teeth clashing against mine. His big body surrounding me. His free hand snaked between us and I moaned into his mouth when he brushed his fingertips against the outside of my thigh.
The touch of his flesh against mine made my whole body shiver. He trailed them around until his hand was between us and sliding slowly amid my parted thighs. My skirt was still pushed up around my hips so I was bare to the world, to him. His fingers found the wetness that had leaked out on my thighs and groaned into my mouth, kissing me harder. I ran my hands up and down his strong arms, silently begging him for more, for him to trail his hand up to my cunt.
“You’re fucking wet,” he moaned into my mouth.
I whimpered and kissed him harder, rotating my hips in effort to bring his fingers higher. As if I was a puppet master, he did as I wanted. His fingers brushed against the lips of my pussy and I threw my head back, breaking our kiss.
“Yeah, do you like that?” he grunted, pressing his lips roughly against my neck.
“Fuck, Rhett. Yes. Yes.” I bit down on my lip and looked up at him. I couldn’t even see the hate in his eyes anymore. It was gone and replaced completely with the lust that usually fought with it. The desperation. The need for me radiated from every pore of his being. His stiff dick still pressed against my stomach and I wanted it out. I wanted it in me. I wanted it to replace all the memories of the things that had ruined me. All the faceless men. Taylor. I wanted them all to disappear.
Rhett could make that happen.
Hours ago I had decided not to have him. I had decided to let him go and not ruin my dreams of him with the real thing—but right now I couldn’t walk away. I had to know. I had to have what he could give me.
He slipped his finger in between my pussy lips and caressed my slick folds. I moaned and moved my hips against his fingers knowing that an orgasm wasn’t far away. In fact I was on the cusp of it. On the brink of falling over into something beautiful and perfect.
“Did you kiss him?” Rhett’s words made me blink, made me stare up at him, clearing away some of the clouds in my lust-induced haze.
“What?”
“You fucking heard me.” He thrust his hips against me, spearing his cock against my stomach. “Did you kiss him?” He continued to move his fingers in circles around my tight bud.
“No.” The word tumbled from my mouth. What difference did it make?
“Were you going to cum for him?”
“Rhett—”
“Answer the fucking question, Faye.” He moved his fingers faster forcing an involuntary moan from my lips. “Answer it,” he grated.
I considered telling him the truth, that I was going to cum, but it was never for Richard. It was for Rhett. It was the images of him that took me to the brink. “I don’t know.” I reached forward and grasped the outline of his cock through his jeans. “But I want you.” I don’t know why I added that last part. Maybe because it was the only truth I had in me at the moment. It was the only thing I could tell him. I wanted him. I’d always wanted him.
“Do you?” He slowed his fingers to a tortuous pace.
I nodded. “You want me too, Rhett.” I sucked on my lip. “Don’t deny it.”
His gaze seemed to harden right before my eyes, the beautiful lust swallowed whole by the hate, but he didn’t move back from me. He didn’t stop his twirling fingers.
“Why didn’t you kiss him?” He leaned in closer, his lips only inches from mine.
“Because he didn’t ask me to.”
“Is that all a man has to do is ask?”
“And pay,” I whispered against his lips. “They always have to pay.” I squeezed the head of his cock and bucked my hips, needing the orgasm, the sweet bliss that would wash me away.
Suddenly Rhett jerked away from me, his absence against my body left me feeling cold. “Wh-what are you doing?” I sputtered.
He rubbed the hand that was damp from my pussy roughly against his pant leg. “You’re a slut.”
The words stung. I should have had a thick skin when it came to him after the last week. But I didn’t. “You’re the one who was playing my pussy, asshole.”
“That was a mistake.” He rubbed the top of his head and tugged on his hair. “I don’t know what came over me.”
A burst of laughter escaped my lips. “Was it? Was it a mistake, Rhett?” I snaked my hand back down to my pussy. My skirt was still pushed up around my hips. “Do you feel bad?” His gaze followed my hand and I knew what he saw. My bare pussy. I’d shaved it the night before my mother’s funeral. I’d been planning on seducing Rhett at the time and wanted to be as alluring as possible. I knew my olive skin looked good enough to suck on and the pink flesh housed between the lips even better.
“What are you doing?” His gaze stayed fastened on my hand.
A moan escaped my lips as I dipped the fingers into my wetness. I ignored his question. “Do you feel bad for doing this to Sarah?” I spread my legs wider, lifting one a few inches off the ground so he could see my hand working the flesh. “Is she at home waiting for you? Is she waiting for you to fuck her? Or is she already asleep?” I moved my hand faster.
“Stop.” I didn’t miss the warning in his voice.
“Am I making you uncomfortable, Rhett?” I smirked and lifted my leg a little higher. “You don’t have to watch, you know.”
But he did keep watching. His gaze was fixed on my moving fingers as I tweaked the tight little bud. His eyes were like a caress, making my skin prickle.
“Do you like it, Rhett? You like watching me play with my pussy?”
He grunted but said nothing, pressing the heel of his palm against the erection in his pants. I eyed it, reminding myself that I still hadn’t seen it. I knew he would be big, huge, even. I wanted to see it.
“Pull it out.” I moaned the words and bit down on my lip. I was going to cum soon. “You’ve seen me. Now I want to see you.”
He started to move his hand toward his zipper, but hesitated at the slam of a car door. The sound of tires burning against pavement followed and I recognized Richard’s truck as it zoomed off.
“You know you want to play with your cock,” I said, moving my fingers faster, forcing him to look back at me. I was close. So fucking close.
“Faye…” he growled my name. And that was enough. Something erupted inside me. It was different than anything else I’d ever felt. It was like an explosion of something beautiful, something surreal. I don’t know what made it different. Maybe it was Rhett. Maybe it wasn’t. I couldn’t say, but it didn’t matter. I rode on the waves of utter ecstasy as I rocked my hips desperately into my palm.
“Fuck, Rhett,” I said when I came back to reality. He was still there. Still just in front of me, his hands fisted at his sides. His hateful, lusty gaze glued to me.
I pressed away from the wall and wiggled my hips so my skirt would fall back into place. “You can go now,” I muttered as I considered—for the first time—what had just happened. The hundred bucks I was going to make had just peeled out of the parking lot. That meant I needed to find someone els
e before I could get my coke. Now that the high of the orgasm and the intensity had started to fade, the ache under my skin was apparent.
Utter exhaustion pressed down on me, threatening to squash me into the pavement like a bug. At this rate, once I got rid of Rhett it would still be several hours before I had the bump I needed. Something like fear welled up inside me.
I can’t wait that long. I clenched and unclenched my hands at my sides. What the fuck am I going to do? I need it. I need it NOW.
I ran a hand through my hair and turned away from Rhett, my heels clicking across the pavement.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“I have stuff to do,” I muttered through clenched teeth.
“Oh, like what? Fuck someone else?”
His voice was taunting, but I didn’t have the energy to bicker with him. “Yes.”
“No.” A warm hand snagged my upper arm.
“Let go of me, Rhett. I have to go!” I sounded frantic, panicky.
“You aren’t staying here.” He turned and pulled me in the direction of his SUV.
“What the fuck? I’m not going with you!” I started struggling harder, but I felt so weak. He didn’t even blink at my futile attempts. I can’t go with him. I fucking can’t. What would I do? My coke. I fucking needed my coke!
“Shut up, Faye.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because.” And that’s all he said when he shoved me into the backseat. I wanted to fight him to get up and push my way out. But I didn’t have the strength. I was exhausted. So I just laid there in a pathetic heap and the let the rumble of the car suck me down until everything was black.
THREE
I woke up to a familiar sound. It was a slapping sound. The kind that involved skin on skin and the moan of a woman. Had Shauna brought one of her Johns back to the tent? She’d never done that before.
I rolled over and covered my head with a blanket just as a terrible pounding pressed at the inside of my skull. It was as if my brain was too big and it was trying to dig its way out of me. I took a deep breath and—what the hell?
I popped my eyes open to take in beige-colored sheets. I pushed them off and looked around, shocked to find myself back in Rhett’s guest bedroom. Sunshine streamed in through the window next to the bed. The memories of the night before came rushing back making me cringe and fill with dread. Horrible, terrible gut wrenching dread.
I need a bump SO. FUCKING. BAD.
But then the noise drew me again. That sound of skin on skin. Grunting. Moaning.
I’m in Rhett and Sarah’s apartment.
A hideous feeling swept through my gut.
He’s fucking her. Right now. He’s fucking her while I’m in here.
I ran a shaky hand over my face and crawled out of bed. My limbs felt like they weighed a thousand pounds, but somehow I managed. Somehow my feet carried me to the door. I didn’t want to go out there. Everything in my brain screamed at me not to. But I couldn’t help it. It was as if I needed to see. As if I needed to be torn apart.
The door opened silently and I stepped out into the hallway right by the kitchen. It was all one big room, the living area separated by a breakfast bar from the kitchen. My eyes latched onto Rhett who was pounding into Sarah’s body from behind. He had her bent over the couch, so I couldn’t see her face, just her back, her hips where Rhett clung to her bare skin, and her ass pressed against Rhett’s crotch. He pistoned his hips slamming into her. His chest was bare, the name Josh, writhing on his skin as he pounded into her. His muscles rippled as he moved. The most beautiful male body I’d ever seen in my life. There was nothing like it. No comparing to it.
My eyes continued to travel up and up until they met his green ones. He stared back at me, his face this blank, hateful mask. His gaze burned me. Ripped through me. It hurt more than I thought I thought it would.
I shouldn’t have given a shit that he was fucking her. They were together. That’s what couples did. But I did care. Somewhere inside me there was a part that thought Rhett felt different since he found me—that he wouldn’t fuck her anymore. How stupid was that? I thought that the attraction between us was more than his cock being hard for me at inappropriate times. I thought it meant something. That after all this time, all the longing I did for him… I don’t know. My heart thrummed in my chest in time with his movements. He thrust harder and she screamed into the couch. His eyes never left mine. Pinning me to the spot. I was unable to do anything. To move. To blink. I was ensnared by the horrible vision before me.
Until it was over. Until it was fucking over. He clawed at her hips when he came. Pulsing inside her with a groan. She said some words in protest at his roughness, but I didn’t really listen. All I could see was Rhett and his penetrating gaze. Even when he came he didn’t look away from me. Something in his eyes was taunting. Daring. Rubbing it all in my face.
“Faye?” Sarah’s voice broke the spell and I looked away, down to where her head popped up above the couch. “Oh my gosh!” She twisted away. “I thought you had left. Rhett said you—”
But my feet weren’t rooted to the ground anymore. Instead I fled back into my room and slammed the door. I pressed my back against it and took big gulping breaths. Tears tracked down my face and I hated myself for them. Fucking despised myself for being so weak.
I was such a pathetic piece of shit. Letting my heart get tangled up. In what, Faye? What is it tangled up in? I rubbed my hands hard against my face. I needed a bump. But I also needed a cigarette and those I actually had some of. I rushed over to my purse and jerked one out, along with my lighter.
I didn’t even think twice as I rushed out the door, though unfortunately someone was on the other side and I slammed into them.
“Faye, I’m so sorry you had to see that.” Sarah steadied me with both hands. I shirked away from her touch. Her red hair was still messy from the sex they just had. The sex she had with Rhett. I closed my eyes, trying to push the thought away, but the image of him pounding into her popped back in my head. “Rhett told me you had left…and I’m just…” she hesitated eying me. “Are you okay?”
I knew I must look like total shit. I felt like it.
“I’m going to smoke,” I croaked, feeling utterly hopeless.
“Okay.” She nodded and gave me a small smile. “You sure you’re okay? Is there anything I can do for you?”
Yeah, just go fucking die!
I shook my head. Not trusting my words. But then it hit me.
“Wait,” I said just as she was turning away. “There is something you can do for me.” She turned back to me expectantly. “I need to use your phone.”
I exhaled smoke and laid Sarah’s phone down on the curb next to me. I’d made a phone call I never thought I would make. But I’d done it and there was no going back.
“You just gave her your phone and let her walk out?”
“Yeah, Rhett. Why wouldn’t I?”
Sarah and Rhett’s voices carried out to me and I smiled as he came around the corner frantically. His panic was quickly covered in his usual mask as his gaze landed on me.
“What did you need Sarah’s phone for?”
I eyed him, taking in his tan shorts and black t-shirt. His hair was freshly styled and still a little damp. The golden color glistened in the sunlight.
“None of your fucking business.” I sucked harder on my cigarette.
He narrowed his gaze and snatched the phone off the curb. “If I find out you called one of your whore-friends to come pick you up—”
“You’ll what, Rhett?” I asked dryly. “You’ll take me from my home? Force me into your car? Make me watch you fuck your girlfriend?”
“You didn’t have to watch.” A sinister smile spread across his lips and I remembered saying the same thing to him the night before.
“How long did you watch last night while I fucked Richard?” I asked.
His smile faded. “Not as long as you watched. Clearly. Seemed l
ike you liked the show today.”
“Not as much as you liked giving it.” I took another drag on my cigarette.
“You’re right about that.”
“Guess I was wrong about her just liking missionary position.” Why was I bringing this up? I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, yet I was.
He smiled. “You’re wrong about a lot of things Faye. Sarah’s the best sex I’ve ever had.”
The way he said the words was like a knife to the gut, digging into me, ripping me apart. “I hate you,” I whispered. I’d meant for them to come out strong. But they didn’t. They sounded pathetic and sad.
“Quit being so dramatic.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m the one helping you.”
I exhaled, watching the smoke linger between us. “I’ve already told you. No one can help me.”
“You’re still being dramatic.”
I sighed and rubbed my temples. “I’m being dramatic? Me?” I let out a harsh laugh. “You know nothing.”
“Then enlighten me.” He put his hands in his pockets and leaned up against the side of the building. So casual. So relaxed. As if life was perfect and simple. He seemed to be suppressing a smile.
“I killed someone.” I stared up at him, the words bubbling out of me. “Two people, actually.”
He chuckled. “You’ll have to come up with a better story than that.”
“It’s not a story.” I turned away from him and pressed the cigarette to my lips again. Taking in the wide parking lot full of vehicles. “One night about a year ago a guy came up to me at the Truck Stop. He was alone and wanted to fuck me.” I chewed the inside of my cheek and tugged at the edge of my skirt, wondering why I was even telling this story. He might turn me in. I almost laughed at my own thought. Let him try. “So we made the deal and I got in his car.” I glanced up at Rhett. “Only he wasn’t alone. He had a friend in there and neither of them wanted to pay for the sex.”
He frowned down at me. “You’re being serious?”
“Does it really surprise you that there are men out there who want to fuck a prostitute for free?”
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