A wave of fervor from Peter flooded her for a moment and then his lips pressed against hers. She pulled him until he was on top of her. Their lips moved in an urgent manner. Her hands slid underneath his shirt, feeling his soft skin. She felt him shudder, and began lifting his shirt but then a swell of anger filled her. It was Gillian.
He drew back. “We shouldn’t do this.”
“Peter—.”
“I don’t want to upset anyone.”
“She can’t dictate what we do. You have to ignore her.”
“I can’t, Ava. It’s hard enough that I blame myself.”
“So we can’t act on our feelings?”
Peter sighed. “I don’t know what to do.” He moved beside her and invited her to curl up next to him. “I mean, every minute I’m with you, I just want to hold you but then I feel bad because others are without their loved ones.”
“I spent so much time hiding my feelings for you before and now that we’re together, I don’t want to do that. We shouldn’t have to hide what we feel for each other.”
“I know. But it kills the mood when I can suddenly feel her anger knowing it’s directed at me.”
Ava nodded. She knew the necklaces were meant to protect them, but their group needed to learn to hide their feelings. Although, she was pretty sure Gillian did it on purpose. “She’s always been angry with us though. She can’t stop me from loving you.”
He brushed his lips against hers. “I wouldn’t want your dad to walk in on us anyway.”
Ava bit her lip.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Do you think we’re being selfish?”
“I don’t know. Part of me thinks we’re not. However, the other says we are. Maybe we should talk to Savina.”
“I don’t want to go back. Not until I have my powers.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s too painful. I don’t want to be around everyone and be reminded of Colden. Besides, after what I did I’m not welcome there.” Peter’s guilt emerged. “Peter, don’t.”
“Sorry. I need to go.” He pulled away from her and sat up.
“What? Why?”
“I really need to talk to my dad.”
“Right now?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll come with you,” she offered as they both stood.
Peter held her face between his hands. “I appreciate that. But I think this is something I need to do on my own.”
Ava nodded. “Okay.”
“I’ll be back tomorrow.”
They walked out of her room and he bid her father a goodnight. She followed him out to his loaner car. The cold November wind made Ava tremble. Peter wrapped his arms around her, warming her instantly.
“It will be okay,” she whispered.
“I might need you to tell me that more often. I shouldn’t have waited this long to tell him. Will you be okay tonight?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Which was a total lie but she couldn’t tell him that she wanted him to stay. He needed to take care of this. Ava tilted her head upwards and kissed him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
When he released her, the cold returned.
Ava couldn’t help the hollow feeling in her chest as he drove away. She contemplated sending Gabriel a text, but decided against it. He wouldn’t want to hang out with her being moody and all. She missed Melissa and Joss.
She went back inside the apartment and retreated to her empty room. As she closed the door, it echoed inside. Every sound she made bounced off the plain walls like there were tons of tiny balls hopping around.
She imagined Melissa commenting on how cool it would be to have something like this to decorate. Or that the cream wall color was ten times better than the mustard yellow her mom chose for their kitchen.
Sighing, Ava spread out the flannel sleeping bag and curled up inside.
Ava bit her lip as she pushed open the door. The room was dark with the curtains drawn. Colden lay on the bed under several blankets, propped up by pillows. He’d always looked pale, but he was sweating and his eyes were red from sickness. Ava couldn’t hold back her tears. She wept uncontrollably.
Colden opened his eyes. “Ava, do not cry, my dear.”
“I did this to you. I’m so sorry.”
“Do not blame yourself. It is my time.” He reached for her and she took his cold hand. She shivered, unable to make herself warm. Then, his soft eyes turned menacing. His lips stretched into an ominous grin. She tried to pry her hand from his, but he gripped it too tightly. “Your soul belongs to me, Ava. I have your mother to thank for that.”
She tried to pull away from Havok, but his hold on her was too strong. She couldn’t escape.
CHAPTER FOUR
SLIPPING AWAY
Ava woke inside a dark room, her back stiff, and her cheeks wet from tears. Had she been crying from her dream? She rose up in the sleeping bag and peeked through the blinds on the double window. It was a dark morning with black clouds, which made Ava frown. The sun had not shown in an entire week. Rain had dominated every hour of every day. When would it ever stop?
She slumped against the wall, resting her head on the low window ledge. Ava missed Colden, and the pain overwhelmed her. She regretted seeing the Necromancer.
Ava took a deep breath. She had to clear her thoughts.
She heard her dad in the kitchen putting away dishes and decided to join him.
“Good morning,” he said, stirring sugar in his coffee.
“Morning.”
“I thought maybe we could go furniture shopping today.”
“That would be great. I’m too old for a sleeping bag.”
Her dad chuckled and shook his head. “You’ve been eighteen for all of two weeks.”
“The last few weeks have felt like several years.”
He frowned. “I know. Get dressed and we’ll go.”
They spent most of the day shopping and Ava enjoyed herself. Being with her father for the day kept her mind off things. Peter came over, and they all had dinner.
“How did it go?” she asked once they were inside her room.
“Pretty awkward and stressful in the beginning. But the more we talked, the better it got.” He slightly smiled. “You were right, though. It was okay.”
“I’m glad. I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you. Nice room, by the way.”
“Thanks.” She looked around at the new full size bed and matching dresser. She had found a painting of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven” and hung it above her bed. It wasn’t much, but it was cozy. “Wanna watch a movie?”
“Yeah, sounds great.”
Ava put in a random comedy and curled up next to him on the bed. They didn’t touch more than cuddling. She wanted to feel something other than the grief. Instead, she took a deep breath, forcing the negative thoughts from her mind.
Peter groaned next to her and rubbed his face. He looked drained. Redness covered the whites of his deep brown eyes. Ava missed his smiling eyes and knew it was her fault that he carried the sadness and remorse.
“Morning,” he yawned, his voice groggy.
“Morning. Did you sleep well?”
“Not really.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Making you sleep here when you could’ve slept in your own bed.”
“You know I don’t mind. I probably wouldn’t have slept any better at home.”
She studied him. Then leaned over and kissed him. At first, he seemed reluctant, but then he eased her down as he moved on top of her.
“Besides, if I slept at home, I couldn’t wake up like this,” he whispered.
His lips grazed above her collarbone. Then, he moved up to her neck, nuzzling close. Her heart couldn’t find a steady rhythm. Warmth pulsated throughout her as she kissed him harder. His fingertips brushed across her stomach and she shivered with pleasure. Her hands pressed into his bare back, wanting him closer. Ava let out a low
moan as he moved to her stomach. He tenderly kissed her as she ran her hands through his dark brown hair. She reached to remove her tank top, but he stopped her.
“Ava.” He hesitated.
“It’s okay,” she whispered and lifted the tank top above her head.
He pressed his lips to hers and as they kissed, she felt his passion. It only made her want him more. His hands caressed her, which made her quiver.
Ava was startled when a beep interrupted them, but she only held him tighter. She blindly searched for the snooze button to the alarm clock and slammed her hand down on it. Peter kissed the hollow part of her neck and left a trail of kisses down to her stomach. Then, his body tensed and he stopped.
Ava felt Gillian, too. Peter rolled back on his knees and rubbed his face. Ava knew it was pointless to tell him to try to block it. She sat up, replaced her tank over her, and took his hands in hers. “Peter—.”
“We should get ready for school.”
She nodded while hiding her disappointment.
Peter dressed as if it was a race. He paused at the door and then hung his head low. “Ava, I don’t think we should do that anymore.”
Her heart dropped. “Do what?”
His eyes met hers. She hated the sad look. “You know what.”
“Kiss? Touch each other?” She could hear the building anger in her voice. “Why?”
“Because I can’t stand feeling everyone’s emotions. It’s too much right now and dealing with Seth’s death. I just can’t.”
She bit her lip and swallowed the oncoming tears. “I know it hurts, Peter. I’m hurting, too. You just have to block it. Or try to. We’re together. Why can’t we show it?”
He crossed the room toward her and caressed her cheek. “I love you, Ava. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I just need time to grieve and figure out how to ignore all these feelings. I mean, wasn’t it overwhelming for you at first?”
“Yes.”
“And add on losing your best friends.”
A tear rolled down her face.
“Please don’t cry. This has nothing to do with you. I promise. Get dressed. Let’s get this school thing over with.” He gave her a quick kiss on the lips and then left the room.
Ava wanted to cry, but she held it inside. She thought about school. Or what she was about to face. Anything but what Peter just asked.
She dressed in a thick blue sweater and jeans and slipped her feet into boots that came to her knees. She wrapped a scarf around her neck and pulled a beanie over her head. It was weird to be wearing so much.
Ava walked out of her room and found her dad leaning against the kitchen counter, drinking coffee. Peter stood by the door with his hands in his pockets.
“Good morning.” Her father eyed her.
“Morning. Guess I’ll see you later.” She hoisted her backpack on her shoulder.
“Ava?” Her father stopped her. “We need to talk.”
“I’ll warm up the car,” Peter suggested and then walked outside.
“What’s up?” Ava turned to her dad.
“I know things have been hard lately. But I’m not very keen on Peter staying through the night. At least not in the same room.”
That didn’t seem to bother him when they stayed at the Manor. But maybe he never knew they stayed in the same room. “Dad, nothing’s going on. It’s okay.”
He raised an eyebrow. “He sleeps on the couch, Ava.” He told her firmly.
“Okay.” She was sure that Peter wouldn’t mind since he didn’t want to touch her. “Is that all?” she asked, irritated.
“Yeah. Have a good day. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Dad.” She hugged him and then left. She held herself from the bitter cold and slid into the passenger seat of Peter’s car.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Yeah.” She removed her beanie and tousled her red hair. “He doesn’t like us staying in the same room.”
“After this morning, can you blame him?”
She rolled her eyes. “He says you have to sleep on the couch. I don’t think he realizes how much it helps having you there.”
Peter took her hand. “I know. It helps me, too. He’s just looking out for you. Making sure I’ll behave.” He gave a lopsided grin.
“Well I guess you’ll be behaving from now on.” She stared out the window and chewed on the inside of her cheek.
Peter sighed. “Ava, please be understanding.”
“I’m trying. I feel like you’re punishing me though.”
“I told you not to take it personally. It’s hard for me to concentrate on being with you like that when Gillian’s anger consumes me. Or Lance’s depression. They can sense us, too, Ava. They sense what we feel for each other and it hurts them. It just seems wrong.”
She bit back angry words. Maybe she wasn’t being very understanding. But being with Peter was the only thing that helped her forget all the pain that stirred inside.
He squeezed her hand. “We’ll get through this.”
She nodded. “We could always skip today.”
“Let’s just see how it goes. We only have a few weeks before winter break.”
“I don’t want to go,” she groaned.
“No one wants to. Maybe it will keep our minds off everything.”
Ava suppressed a sigh and kept her eyes on the passing bare trees and buildings, dreading school. Why was it so important to go? She couldn’t even remember what they were studying last. And the last time she went to school, an invisible Trudy followed her around and tried to kill Peter’s friends, Valerie and Amanda. That had ended badly with Savina erasing their minds. Ava certainly had racked up enough hatred from the Ephemerals. They berated her for wearing her necklace. For her supposed involvement with the bombing of the school. She’d killed two Ephemerals, though, that wasn’t public knowledge.
She shook her head. Maybe she would only go today and skip the rest of the time. Her hatred toward the Ephemerals diminished significantly since she realized the Cimmerians were the ones inside her head. But that didn’t mean she wanted to be around the Ephemerals any more.
As Peter pulled into the parking space, she saw Link and Nicole waiting for them.
“Hey,” Link said, stubbing out a cigarette. He’d let his hair grow into a blond shag and he’d kept the stubble on his face. Link was never so rough around the edges, but Ava guessed being kidnapped by Cimmerians and forced to become an Enchanter would change anyone.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” Ava said.
Nicole rolled her eyes, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. “He just started.”
“Takes the edge off.”
Ava stared at the building and watched several students walk inside. Just last week she was warring against dark Enchanters. And now, like nothing happened, they were at school.
“Would Savina really notice us not being at school?” Link asked.
“Probably not,” Ava said. “She’s been holed up for a while.”
“What else are we going to do? Sit around and think?” Peter asked.
“He’s got a point.”
As they walked inside the brick building, the heat poured over Ava. She and Peter walked hand-in-hand through the gray corridor with red lockers that spanned both sides of the wall. Students leaned against the lockers, ignoring them for the most part. Quite the contrast since the last few months. She spotted Lance, Thomas, and Gillian staring at something. Whatever it was upset Gillian.
When they reached Thomas, Gillian, and Lance, they stopped. A few lockers had been decorated with notes, flowers, and mementos. Gillian covered her mouth, trying to contain her sobs. She had convinced Trent to shoot up a mall and then kill himself, thanks to the Cimmerians’ manipulating her. Ava clenched her teeth when she saw Drew and Jonah’s lockers. Bile rose in her throat, but she pushed it down.
“Oh god,” Gillian said and then ran down the hall, probably to the bathroom.
Ava wanted to follow her,
but then Peter’s rage filled her.
“Should I go after her?” Nicole asked.
“Yeah. You guys go ahead,” Ava said and the rest of them hesitantly walked away.
Peter lunged for the locker, tearing the notes and pictures. He kicked the flowers, screaming.
Several people stopped to stare at them.
“Stop, Peter. You’re scaring me.” She seized his arm, but he jerked away from her.
He didn’t stop until the locker was clean. Ripped pictures and broken flowers littered the hallway. Ava didn’t know what to do or say. The onlookers moved on as Peter leaned his head against the locker, taking deep breaths.
Ava reached for his hand and he let her take it.
“Sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse.
She wrapped her arms around him.
“No one knew Seth. Not like I did. So why would they leave that stupid stuff on his locker? Saying how much they’ll miss him and how good friends they were. They knew nothing.”
She pulled back a bit, forcing him to look at her. “We’ll get through this. You and me.”
The bell rang.
“See you at lunch” he said.
Her heart sank. It weighed inside of her as if it were a brick. She hoped all of them would survive it.
Sitting through English wasn’t any better than sitting at the Manor. Staring at the empty seat in front of her that Drew Foley used to occupy made her stomach clench. He and Jonah were dead because Ava killed them. She knew it was self-defense, but it never made her regret go away.
The second hand refused to tick any faster. Ava drowned out the teacher’s discussion about The Great Gatsby. She didn’t care about the stupid green light and what it meant. Why they even had to worry about school was beyond her. They should’ve been out there searching for the rest of the coven, but because of the spell they were incapacitated. They had to wait until they regained their full strength. Ava couldn’t stand waiting. It meant doing nothing. And doing nothing meant thinking. And overanalyzing.
She heard students whispering near her. She couldn’t decide if they wanted her to hear or if they were really trying to be quiet.
Under the Winter Sun (Elemental Enchanters Series Book 3) Page 4