Seven Years of Bad Luck

by J. L. Mac

  “Chey, I’m not trying to pry, but that doctor you were seeing said that further tests could help figure out what the problem is.”

  She stood from the table abruptly, snatched our plates and stomped back into the kitchen. “I don’t need, or want to go back to any damn doctors. I won’t ever have kids. Simple. Drop it.”

  I sighed and kicked myself for ed e kids. Supsetting her. “Please don’t get upset. I just… I just know that you and Matt tried and you wanted a baby so bad. That can’t just disappear overnight right? What can it hurt to do more tests?” She turned to face me, pinning me to my seat with an icy glare.

  “Kat, what hurts is getting my hopes up and having them dashed every time a new doctor confirms what the one before them told me. I’m infertile. It’s next to impossible for me to conceive. So pardon me for not wanting to go through more emotionally exhausting appointments to some fertility doctor who can’t do a damn thing to help me. Just leave it alone, please.”

  Beneath her glare I could see the anguish in her eyes. I relented and dropped the subject. Cheyenne retreated to her room to lick her wounds no doubt. I felt like a huge heel for upsetting her. I didn’t bother her before I left with Ben. I just left a note on the counter where I knew she would be able to see it.

  “I’m sorry, babes. I’m an ass. Be back later. Love you. –Kat”

  I decided to wait outside for Ben to show up. I needed out of the apartment. He drove up at noon right on the dot. He leaned over to the passenger side and with his long arm opened the passenger door for me. I slid across the cool leather in my simple sundress and gave him a tight smile.

  “What’s wrong, Kathleen?” He didn’t try to disguise the concern in his voice. I looked down at my hands in my lap and sighed in defeat. “I upset Cheyenne.” I said weakly.

  He arched a quizzical eyebrow. “Ah. A roommate quarrel?”

  “Hardly. No I just asked her about something that happens to be a sensitive topic. I hit a nerve. Quite unintentionally though.” He nodded his head as he drove.

  “So mind me asking what the sore topic is?” I narrowed my eyes on his profile as he looked ahead, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.

  He is a lawyer for crying out loud! The man knows how to keep secrets, Kat! Spill it, I yelled inwardly.

  The idea of him being able to keep secrets so well didn’t make me feel better at all. In fact, it made me rather uneasy. “Cheyenne and Matt, her ex-husband, tried to have children. When she didn’t get pregnant after a year of trying, they went to see a fertility doctor. He ran tests and diagnosed her with ‘unexplained infertility’. He tossed out some numbers that did nothing to console her. Said that one in five couples deal with this unexplained infertility and that she has a less than ten percent chance to conceive a child.” I babbled on while Ben nodded and looked over at me occasionally. “She has been to a half a dozen specialists who have all said the same thing. But the last one she saw recommended that she do more conclusive tests to see if there was anything that could be done. I asked her if she had made an appointment to see a doctor here yet and sherone shehe kind of went ape shit on me. I should have known better.” I pursed my lips as I stared down at my knotted fingers. Ben’s Escalade rolled to a stop in front of his house which was even more astonishing in broad daylight. He reached over and laid his large hand across my hands effectively stilling my fidgeting.

  “Hey. Don’t. Don’t do that to yourself. You are an excellent friend. You asked because you obviously love her. You shouldn’t beat yourself up. Understand?” I sat silent in my seat. He trapped my chin between his thumb and index finger and tilted my head up to meet his eyes. “Do you understand, Kathleen?” I suddenly felt consumed with emotion and did my best to swallow it down.

  “Yes, I understand, Ben.”

  “Good.” He said before he jumped out and walked around to open my door. Ben had not said what he had planned for me so I was confused as to why we were walking up the front steps to his house, yet again. As soon as we entered and he shut the door behind us I decided to find out what he had up his sleeve.

  “What are we doing-” He stopped me before I could finish. He came at me full tilt and swept me up onto my tip toes in a passionate kiss. I was tucked in his arms close against his hard warm body as he kissed me like a man starved for affection. He groaned and it sounded a lot like a sound of relief. As if I was pacifying a craving. He released my lips from his and we both came up for air.

  “I couldn’t wait another moment,” he said breathlessly as his forehead rested against mine.

  “No need to explain. Not for that,” I replied, my voice sounding breathy and seductive.

  “You‘re very cute when you’re sad. I couldn’t resist that mouth of yours a second longer. I nearly stopped the car half way here to kiss those pouty sad lips of yours. I had planned on taking you out to lunch, but I changed my mind. I want you in the privacy of my home right now.” A devilish smirk worked on the corners of his lips. My mouth hung open slightly and the familiar tingle deep in my stomach returned. He turned me on so effortlessly. I was incapable of fighting against what came so naturally between us. I didn’t want a relationship, and I knew I should not risk so much by being intimately involved with the man who I worked for but the pull between us dominated my every thought.

  Maybe just a physical relationship. An agreement to have just sex between two consenting adults. That would be fine. Will he agree to that?

  I thought to myself while the true Kathleen laughed at me condescendingly. I ignored it. I told myself that I had to find a time and a way to discuss this thing between us with him. I stepped into his space and placed my hands on his chest while I kept my eyes locked onto his. I slowly slid my hands from his chest to his toned, defined stomach. He sucked in a breath and feral desire took him over. He audibly growled and wrapped his arms around my hips then pulled me forcefully into his body. I was shocked and turned on at how rough het h feral could be. It only made me want him more. I wanted him to push me to my limits. I wanted to know how far Ben, and I could push each other. I didn’t care about anything else, only hot, rough, heavenly sex with him. I wanted as much as he would give me. I was shamelessly greedy. His hand fisted into my hair, and he jerked my head back giving him access. His mouth went directly to my neck and nipped my skin then he soothed the love bite with his gentle rolling tongue.

  “Ben,” I whispered as my eyes rolled back. His hands slipped down to the hem of my sundress then underneath the fabric to cup my ass. With grace and little effort his strong muscled body lifted me to wrap my legs around his waist. His growing erection pressed against the fabric between us. He kissed me madly for a minute, an eternity. I wasn’t sure. Time escaped me while I was under the spell of Ben’s seductive touch. One of his hands came between us as he held me up with the other. I felt him slip his fingers into the dainty lace triangle of my panties and rip them away from me. His hand quickly went to his pants. With a flick and a zip, he freed his erection and positioned himself at my center. I gasped.

  “Ben! Wait. Condom” His eyes grew wide, and his features softened marginally from heated and possessive to embarrassed. I smiled at him encouragingly.

  “Oh shit, sorry,” he said.

  I giggled like a school girl, and he chuckled too as he carried me with ease up the stairs to his room. He laid me across his bed and quickly covered his twitching cock with a condom. The moment he was ready he scooped me back up into his arms, and I once again wrapped my legs around his waist. He backed me toward the wall beside his colossal bed. My back hit the wall with a thud as he simultaneously impaled me and all the breath left my lungs. I gasped to draw in air.

  “God I love this tight pussy of yours,” he growled through gritted teeth. He was not gentle or sweet. He drove into me relentlessly. He grunted and groaned as he pulled my hair and plundered my neck and mouth. He took me over as if I belonged to him and what we were doing was as natural as breathing. I was enjoying every damned second of it. He kep
t me pinned to the wall as one hand reached between our connected bodies and began rubbing small enticing circles around my clit. My body begged for release, and the moment that recognizable tightening gripped my insides he eased back on my clit allowing my impending climax to slip away. He kept up his pace and thrust hard into me while building my climax and letting it slip away every time. I was getting emotional in my desperation for release.

  “Go ahead. Get mad.” He whispered breathlessly in my ear.

  “Damn it Ben!” I whimpered.

  “Is that all you got baby?” he questioned in a low husky taunting voice. Tears threatened to form in my eyes.

  “Fuck you!” I felt his mouth turn up into a grin.

  “No baby, I’m fucking you.” He growled in my ear. His thrusts became even harder and deeper, and I almost instantly came apart between his hard body and the wall. Blood rushed to my head leaving me with colorful spotty vision as my body rode an epic wave of climactic pleasure. The moment my orgasm caused the walls of my channel to clench around his cock, he shuddered over and over and spilled into me. He brought us to his bed and laid me back slowly as he drew himself out of me. He lay across me while he worked at catching his breath. He lifted his head to look at me through heavy, sated eyes.

  “Come on. Bath.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t. I don’t have any other clothes. My panties are trash thanks to you.”

  He laughed. “You have clothes.” I was confused.

  What? I didn’t bring a bag.

  He read the look on my face before I could speak. “I took the liberty of getting you a few things. I anticipated you refusing to bring a bag to my house so I remedied the problem. I told you no fighting this, Kathleen,” he warned.

  Did you now, Mr. Controlling-bossy sex god?

  He pulled me to stand and held me by the shoulders until I was steady on my feet. He led me to the master bathroom which was elegant and fit for a king. It was all marble, granite and brushed nickel. The walls were a cool blue with a tray ceiling trimmed in white to punctuate the design. The focal point of the open concept bathroom was the absolute largest, white, claw foot bath tub I had ever laid eyes on. I was unaware that they were even made that large. The whole room had a very Victorian era feel to it. All the palest of blue with white trim, a double vanity with oversized water basins, gorgeous light fixtures, enormous mirror, a standalone shower big enough to accommodate at least six adults. There was also a bidet of all things. I was quick to casually place my fingers to my mouth to stifle my growing amusement at the mental visual of Ben straddling a bidet to tidy himself.

  My private musings came to a halt when Ben tugged me to the monstrous claw tub and began adjusting the water temperature. Water poured from a uniquely designed faucet that rose from the floor right in front of the tub, reminding me of a water fountain. There were two handles for hot and cold water and there was a polished shower head attached by a hose to the fixture. It sat in a holster type stand and had a valve to operate it at the junction where the hose met the main spigot. Ben held my fingers lightly while he sat on the edge of the tub adjusting the water and pouring in bath oil that filled my nose with the smell of something I was unable to name. It was slightly mint along with something lightly floral.

  “What’s that scent?”

  Ben stood and pulled me close to him. He ran hands down my back. “ It’s jasmine and mint oil. Do you like it?”

  >

  My breathing became shallow as his hands roamed freely over my body.

  “Yes,” I murmured, barely loud enough for him to hear. He gripped the hem of my dress and swiftly pulled it over my head then made quick work of stripping me from my bra, tattered panties and shoes. I stood before him wearing only a light blush across my skin. He removed his own clothing while I looked on getting more aroused by the second. He firmly gripped my hand while I stepped into the comforting warm water. He followed me in and sat across from me.

  “Ahh.” My eyes closed. I eased back allowing the intoxicating scent of the oil to envelope me as I sank lower into the huge tub.

  “Feel good, baby?”

  “Mhmm,” I moaned when his hands found one of my feet and he began massaging. I was relaxed in Ben’s bathtub with his hands massaging my feet and calves. I felt so at ease there with him. It was an odd thing considering how much he rattled me on a daily basis. My emotions were always all over the place when it came to Ben.

  But, in that moment, in his bathtub with him massaging me, I was tranquil. All thoughts of inadequacy, regret, sadness, anger, and anxiety left me. It was only the two of us, and the extreme magnetism that pulled us together. There was no escaping whatever it was that was between us, and in that moment with him, I didn’t want to escape it. I didn’t want to deny it. I didn’t want to deny him.

  In reality, I wanted nothing more than to be his. I felt safe with him. My eyes fluttered open when I felt Ben shift in the water. He spread my legs and pulled me to him so I was straddling him on his side of the bathtub.

  He placed a soft kiss on my lips and gazed at me. “Tell me what you are thinking, Kathleen.” His voice was a soft whisper against my lips.

  “I was just thinking that I could get used to long hot baths complete with massages after hot sex with the handsome, successful, charming, Benjamin Chase.” My sweet smile turned slightly devilish.

  “A man can hope,” he muttered, speaking mostly to himself, I surmised. Little alarm bells started sounding loudly inside me. My body stiffened fractionally in his arms, and just like that, the flip was switched back to closed off from open and tranquil. The emotional rollercoaster was exhausting.

  “I, um, why don’t we get out now? The water is cooling and I’m all pruned.” I held my hand in front of his face so he could see the wrinkles on my fingertips. He held my hand in his and kissed each fingertip softly while keeping his eyes on mine. I could tell that he saw through me. He knew I was allowing my past to get the best of me as always.

  “You have nothing to worry about.”

  I snickered sarcastically. “No, Ben. I have plenty to worry about in my life.”

  “That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” he said firmly.

  I nodded and looked down at my hands swirling in the water absentmindedly. “Well, then what is it you meant?”

  He nudged my chin upward with his gentle touch. “Look at me. You know what I mean, Kathleen. You are so damn scared of feeling this thing between us. You’re scared but you don’t have to be. Not with me.”

  No, I’m positive I have good reason to be scared with you. We could rip each other apart. His voice was velvety smooth in my ear. I wanted to believe that he and I could somehow go with the natural flow of things between us, but I knew better. I had too much baggage. Too many scars. Seven long unfor

  giving years worth.

  “Ben, listen, I don’t know what this is between us. But I can’t give more than I am already giving. This thing needs to stay physical. I can’t afford any emotional connection between us. Besides, getting emotionally involved with you is almost certainly going to cost me my job.”

  “Fine, we will do this your way. For now.”

  His words sent a chill down my spine. I couldn’t be sure if they were a threat, a promise or both. Either way, one thing was certain, Ben had me in his grip, and I was in for the most exciting, heartbreaking, amazing, turbulent, ride of my life. I just didn’t know it yet.

  Chapter 17

  Under duress

  “Come with me.” Ben said warily. He enfolded my hand in his and led me through his house to the one mysterious door that he skipped over during the tour of his home. He paused at the door and looked to me. I smiled marginally in an attempt to ease his obvious anxiety.

  Benjamin Chase nervous? This could be bad.

  He turned the door knob and led me into the dimly lit room. I stifled my gasp the best I could. “Ben. This…this is amazing.” I whispered to him as he squeezed my hand in his. “Photography huh?”
I looked to him and he shrugged bashfully.

  “I was hoping that if I open myself to you you’ll return the favor.” There was a hidden plea in his voice and my heart melted into a gooey puddle in my chest.

  Oh, Ben.

  “My grandfather bought me a camera when I was a kid, and I fell in love with all things photography.”

  “I can see that.” I grazed through the large cool space. The room was filled with all things photography. It was clear that this was his hobby. His passion. There were shelves scattered throughout the space that displayed cameras of all types. Old and new. I imagined that some of the older ones were antique and likely worth quite a bit. The walls were riddled with photos of all sizes. Some were in color. Some were in black and white. But all of them were landscapes. Every single one was some type of transient moment that Ben obviously knew how to capture. I was spellbound by his work.