Seven Years of Bad Luck

by J. L. Mac

  My chest feels heavy. Very heavy. I’m heaving in and out trying to catch my breath. Who’s there? I can hear voices, but I can’t see anything. I beg my eyes to open and they do, but there must be cloth over my eyes because I still can’t see a thing. The cloth is scratchy across my eyes like burlap, and I realize that the same type of cloth is stuffed into my mouth. I can’t only breathe through my nose, and the fact that I can’t catch my breath with just the use of my nose is scaring me. I’m covered in a cold sweat. My heart is pounding so hard. I can feel that my wrists are bound but my hands still shake viciously. A fear induced whimper escapes my lips. I’m so scared. Calm down, Kat. Breathe in. Breathe out. I must be having a panic attack. I am so frightened I feel like I might be sick, but I push the nausea down, deep.

  My mouth is stuffed with cloth that tastes like dust so getting sick is not an option. I strain to hear the faint voices around me. I hear men. Three maybe four different male voices. I hear footsteps approaching me, and I let out a muffled blood curdling scream from behind the dusty cloth shoved in my mouth. A hard thud rings through my ears and vibrates through my skull. Despite my hindered vision, I see brightly colored spots that remind me of highlighter pens. Something warm is on my face. My hands instinctively fight against the bonds that hold them so that I can touch the assaulted area. The warmth is spreading downward. Down to my cheek. Now my jaw. Now my neck. My face feels like it has a heartbeat. I’m bleeding. The warm feeling is blood. There must be a lot of it still sh. I can feel it rolling down the right side of my face and down my neck. I’m crying now. I’m sobbing hard. I can barely breathe. I want Ben. Where’s Ben? He will save me. I think he loves me like I have come to realize that I love him. Where is he? I need him. Please, God. I don’t want to die! I hear the male voices come nearer. I begin hyperventilating.

  What are they doing? I am so scared.

  The adrenaline coursing through my veins urges me to fight, to run if given the chance. I know that’s what I’ll do. I will run if I can. I let out another scream from behind the dusty cloth gag. I’m asking for help, but the cloth makes me plea indiscernible. Another thud but I don’t feel anything except more warmth running down my face. I’m thankful for the adrenaline racing through my veins. It’s pushing me forward. It’s the only thing keeping me going right now, other than my need to see Ben again. I want Ben. A grumbly voice fills my throbbing left ear and all at once, I can smell cigarettes, liquor and generally foul breath. It smells awful. I want to vomit again, but I remind myself to choke the nausea down. No getting sick with a gag crammed in my mouth.

  “Quit trying to scream or it’s going to hurt worse!” the man threatens.

  This makes me cry more desperately. Please. Please. Please don’t hurt me. I am begging them from behind the dusty cloth. Please, let me go!

  “Don’t you fucking scream!” he warns me, and I nod.

  “I’m going to take off you blindfold.”

  He tells me that he is going to remove my blind fold and I force myself to calm down. I have to figure out where I am and how to get away. The foul breathed man jerks the cloth from my eyes, and I blink rapidly to clear my vision. Blood has seeped into my right eye causing my vision to stay blurry, but my left eye has cleared. I can see. I am in a dark space that has an echo, and a bright light beams down on just me. Must be a large room. A garage maybe. I quickly scan the room but can’t see beyond the light that is beaming down on me like a spot light. I look down at my feet. It’s a smooth concrete floor that my fee limply rest against. The large man that I can now see steps off to the side, and darkness envelopes him.

  The male voices whisper as they stand just beyond the light that would make them visible to me. They are all cloaked. Cowards. I’m getting angrier more than scared now. It’s the adrenaline, I’m sure, but I don’t care. I don’t think I am going to get out of hereet n>

  “Cowards!” I scream from behind my dusty gag. They laugh at me. Laughing! Sick, disgusting, cowards! I hear the clicking of what must be dress shoes. One set. Wait, two sets of clicking dress shoes against the concrete slab floor. I see the shape of a very tall man come into focus. He walks toward me, and I can see his face clearly now. I want to scream, cry, gasp and get sick all at once but can’t. I have stopped breathing, and the only thing that jars me from my shocked gaze is the pain squeezing my lungs, demanding oxygen. Breathe! I draw in air through flared nostrils. “Aidan!” I scream at him but he says nothing to me. His lips turn up into a grin and I am sure that he is enjoying seeing me bound and bleeding.

  Aidan wants me dead. The scenario in front of me makes my blood run cold. The other set of dress shoes peeping out into the circle of light around me walk forward to stand beside Aidan. I blink rapidly again. I can’t believe my eyes. Ben. It’s Ben. My Ben. Why isn’t he rushing to my side to save me? He is whispering to Aidan and smiling. They are shaking hands as if they are friends. “Ben!” I scream at him, but he does little more than stair at me with a narcissistic expression on his face. He makes no move to help me. He doesn’t love me. The realization hits me harder than the man with the harsh breath, and I am not sure which reality hurts the most. The idea of Ben not being in love with me, or the fact that for some reason, the only two people that I have ever fallen for are both standing in a room, facilitating my demise. Why? I am screaming for him but he won’t help me. Pain sears my heart. I am sobbing so hard. I can’t breathe. Ben is walking to me. He has crouched to my side. His lips are against my ear. “Told you to stay out of it, Kathleen.” His voice sounds so cold and evil.

  “Please, I’m sorry!” I’m screaming. I can’t breathe at all now. I am choking. I feel something clawing at my chest. I feel close to the end. Everything has gone black.

  I jumped from Ben’s bed and realized that it was my own hands that were clawing at my chest. I rolled from his bed and fell to the floor disoriented and gasping for air.

  Just a nightmare, Kat. Just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. Just a nightmare.

  I chanted in my head. Sitting on the floor beside Ben’s bed, I wrapped my arms around my bent knees and pulled them tight into my chest. I was so shaken bas "Tiy the nightmare. It felt so real. Tears were slipping down my face, and I hadn’t even realized I was crying. I focused on my breathing instead of thoughts of my lover and ex-husband trying to kill me. My dream was completely irrational. I knew that, but I couldn’t help but wonder why I would dream of such an awful thing. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. I had not been asleep for more than two hours, and it was already time to get up for the day. My irritating alarm began sounding loudly and I startled.

  “Damn,” I groaned. I slid back into Ben’s bed to linger a bit longer before I had to get ready for work. I buried my face into his pillows and inhaled my favorite scent, Ben. I ached for him in that moment. I needed nothing more than the feel of his arms around me and his comforting presence to shake away the awful visions from my nightmare. I lay in Ben’s bed for a long moment and reveled in the fact that I was falling for him. I wanted him. I needed him. But, most importantly, I wanted to be who he wanted and needed too. I was scared to get hurt again or to hurt Ben. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him. I would never forgive myself if I hurt my lonely lover in anyway. I would just have to find a way to be enough for him. I would have to find a way to let go of my past so that I could give him my future. I had no guarantees for Ben, but I would offer him what I could, nonetheless. I knew I wasn’t even close to being able to satisfy another person appetite for love, support, and trust but I was compelled to try. I had to try for Ben. I had to try for both of us.

  Gotta talk to him when he gets home. Just come clean about things. Tell him you’ve fallen in love with him and you’re scared but you can’t not try. Tomorrow morning.

  I ignored the fact that I looked like the walking dead. Death warmed over looked better than I did. My eyes had bags under them thanks to lack of sleep. My nose was bright red and stuffy from crying after my awful dream. My eyes were red rimm
ed and puffy. My cheeks looked pale and void of life in contrast to my bright red nose and eyes. My hair was less than its best mostly due to lack of effort on my part. I doubted that I had the energy to endure another day of digging into John Murray’s life while juggling my normal work load but I had no option. I needed to get as much done with Ben away in California as I could. Once he returned I would be unable to snoop so freely. I dragged my sluggish ass into work and was shocked to see a huge bouquet of red roses sitting right outside my locked office. Aw! Ben.

  Chapter 22

  Grave digger

  I bent down and picked up the large bouquet while unlocking my office door. I set the arrangement down on my desk and grabbed the envelope that was taped to the vase. It was a full size envelope with just my name scrawled across the front. I slid my finger across the seam and pulled out the greeting card inside. I opened the card and dirt scattered onto my desk.

  “What in the world?” I muttered to myself. I opened the card to see a typed message to me.

  ‘Digging your own grave, Kathleen Cooper.’

  I went numb for a moment as I read the frightening message. The roses obviously were not from Ben.

  Who sent these?

  I scurried from my office straight to Joyce at the front desk. “Have you seen anyone delivering flowers this morning?” I asked while my hands shook slightly.

  Joyce’s brows furrowed, and she shook her head slowly side to side. “No, Kat. I’ve not seen any delivery people this mornin’.” I made no effort to respond or even to explain. I scrambled to a half a dozen other coworkers and asked them if they had seen anything and everyone admitted to nothing.

  Janis!

  I strode angrily to Janis’ desk. “What do you know about the flowers on my desk right now?”

  “Flowers? I don’t know about any flowers,” she said without making eye contact with me. I glared down at the creepy woman who nosed through my office the night before and made it a point to make her uncomfortable like she made me uncomfortable. I was sleep-deprived, scared and missing Ben. I was a complete bitch.

  “No clue huh?”

  Fucking bitch!

  I could hear a bit of the old me seeping through my words, and it bolstered my confidence to deal with the creepy, nosey, Janis. I leaned forward and placed the palms of both my hands flat on the surface of her desk.

  “That’s a good thing,” I whispered snottily.

  Janis glanced up at me, and the pure hatred she so obviously carried for me was pouring from her. She gave me what I assumed was her best evil eye just before I whirled around in my heels and marched back to my office. I flopped down at my desk and stared at the roses.

  Think, Kat.

  I tapped my fingers on my desk as I began thinking of the awful predicament I had put myself in.

  What do I do now? Call Ben? Call the police? No. I can’t tell anyone what I know yet. It’s not safe now. Dammit, Kat.

  I slapped my hand on my desk and decided that I would have to work within the safety of my office for the day. I couldn’t drive all over town snooping into things with John Murray clearly keeping a threatening a k and deci eye on me. I relocated the roses and the card to on top a filing cabinet in the corner of my office and did my best to ignore the foreboding bouquet. I managed to work right through lunch. By some divine miracle, I successfully juggled my normal work and the not so little project that had so far, earned me a vandalized apartment and threatening messages at work.

  I rolled my eyes thinking, about how I was either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. I was likely both. I dug through my purse for the apple I tossed in it on my way from Ben’s house that morning. I found the poor excuse for my lunch and began devouring it despite its bruises. With one hand clutching my lunch, I used my free hand to peck out keys on my keyboard for an internet search regarding one, Janis Harper. I hit the ‘enter’ button and watched as multiple results filled my computer screen. I tossed my lousy lunch into the garbage, wiped my hands and glided the cursor over the search results and began clicking away. There were several results linking Janis Harper to someone by the name of Laura Keys. There was also a related search result with a string of links including, changing identities, Starting over, Delete yourself from the web in twelve easy steps, along with a long list of other options. I had never heard the name Laura Keys before but I knew typing it into a search engine would give me something. I typed in ‘Laura Keys, Texas’ into the search box and gingerly tapped the enter button with my pinky.

  “Pay dirt,” I mumbled to myself. I clicked on images first. When the first thumbnail was opened to full size, I stopped breathing. It was of a woman. The woman in the photo was named Laura Keys, but I knew the woman in the photo as Janis Harper my jealous, nosey coworker who had a crush on the man I had fallen for.

  “Oh. My. God,” I whispered as I studied the photo of Janis, Laura, whatever her real name was. I clicked back to articles and opened the first one I saw.

  ‘Investigators are still working at the scene of a fatal car crash that occurred on county road 332, early Saturday evening. The only vehicle involved was reportedly in flames when first responders arrived at the scene. The driver and passenger of the vehicle have been identified as Michael Keys, 28, and his son, Neil, age 4. The two victims were deceased at the scene. The driver, Michael Keys reportedly leaves behind his wife and the mother of his son, Laura Keys, age 25.’

  I covered my mouth with my hand.

  Poor Janis. Her husband and her son had died.

  The newspaper that printed to article was ‘The Buckston Tribune’. I knew Buckston to be a small town in west Texas with little or nothing to see or do. It was certainly not a town that was on anyone’s bucket list. I clicked on a photo of Michael Keys and once again stopped breathing. Janis’s husband, Michael was easily my Ben’s twin. The two men looked so alike you would swear they were somehow related, even though I knew that was not possible since Ben admitted he only had one sibling. His younger brother, Samuel, who was only two years younger than Ben, and lived in Dallas as well, though we had yet to meet. In fact, Ben had spoken about his family but I had yet to be properly introduced to ints only twohis parents, grandparents, and younger brother.

  “Holy hell! No wonder Janis has a thing for Ben. He is like a carbon copy of her dead husband. She’s obsessed. Psycho,” I said barely loud enough to be considered audible.

  How did she end up in Dallas all the way from Podunk Buckston?

  My brows were furrowed, and I was in deep thought when my desk phone rang. I quickly extracted myself from my thoughts and scooped the phone from its cradle.

  “Kathleen Cooper,” I stated professionally.

  “Mmm, I have forgotten how much I love hearing your voice.” Ben’s voice flowed from the phone and instantly wrapped me in the seductive tone that came through the long distance phone call.

  “Ah, I see.” I leaned back in my chair and took a moment to enjoy the distraction that talking to Ben offered.

  “So, you miss me and love hearing my voice and here I am thinking maybe you enjoyed more than just my voice,” I teased playfully. Ben chuckled low into the phone and I smiled utterly proud of myself for coaxing a chuckle from my lonely lover.

  “Yes. Well, I happen to love hearing your voice but there is plenty more that I love about you.”

  Oh.

  Before I had a chance to say a word, Ben went on.

  “How did you sleep last night?”

  “I had this awful nightmare this morning. I wished you were in bed with me. I was pretty shaken up.”

  “What was it about?”

  “Oh. I don’t remember the nightmare. I just know I woke up scared and pretty freaked out,” I lied.

  “Mhmm.” Ben sounded like he was skeptical of my story but wasn’t going to press the issue. “I’ll be back in the morning, so tomorrow night, you shouldn’t have to worry about missing me should any bad dreams arise. As long as you agree to stay with me tomorrow night, I will
be beside you.”

  “As if I can resist staying in your bed.”

  “I will see you in the morning, Kathleen.”

  “In the morning, Ben.” I reiterated then returned my desk phone to its cradle. Not ten seconds later my phone rang again. I picked it up once again from its cradle with a smile on my face.

  “Miss my voice again already?” There was no answer, but I could hear heavy breathing on the other end of the line.

  “Hello? Who is this?” I demanded.

  “Still digging, Kathleen Cooper?”

  “WHO IS THIS?” I shouted as I jumped from my office chair. The electronically distorted voice didn’t say anything else and the line clicked dead.

  This is way out of control. This is crazy! It’s okay, Ben will be back in the morning and it will be time to come clean about snooping around and how I really feel about him. He will know what to do.