by J. L. Mac
“I think I like you pregnant more.” He teased while cupping my enlarged, bare breasts in his hands. We both laughed at his teasing. I pulled his hungry hands from my breasts and slid them slowly down my ribs and brought them to a rest so that his hands were cupping my belly. His eyes were watching with an expression of wonder in them as my hands moved his hands to where his baby was growing within me. I reminded myself that all of this news was only minutes old to him and I made sure to use kid gloves with him. I held his hands there for a moment then let mine fall away to my sides. His large hands remained cupping my pregnant belly. His eyes were fixed there. I remained silent allowing him to take everything in. He remained that way for a long time. He said nothing, only stared at his own hands resting on my stomach. Finally I interrupted his concentrated stare.
“Ben? Are you okay?” He only nodded while still staring silently. “Ben? What are you doing?” He finally looked up at me.
“Waiting.” He said flatly.
“For?”
“For the baby to move again. I want to feel it.” That’s when I began laughing so hard I nearly peed myself and my side began to cramp. I rolled off of Ben and clutched my aching side. “What? I think it’s only fair for me to get to feel the baby kick too.” He admonished sounding only slightly pouty. I kept working at gathering my composure.
“Oh, Ben you can’t sit and stare with your hands on my belly all day waiting on him or her to make a move.” My laughing came back again full force and the fluttering started again. I stopped laughing and grabbed Ben’s hand. I let his palm rest against my stomach where I could feel our little baby squirming and kicking about. “I think my laughing woke up the baby. Doctor Miller says the babies do pretty much nothing but sleep non-stop.” Ben shushed me. I mean actually shushed me like a parent would a child. Our baby moved and Ben’s face lit up.
“I felt it.” He whispered. The slight movements faded away and Ben looked like he was ready to pop open champagne to celebrate. He was so pleased that he got to feel our little baby fluttering around. “That was…incredible.” His eyes were wide and intrigued.
“Yeah it was.” His eyes grew heated and I knew that my man wanted to make our reunion official. I obliged.
“Are you mine?” His words were husky, filled with lust and passion.
“I always have been.” With that he slipped off his boxer briefs boxer b, freeing his erection. He gently tugged my panties free from my hips and once again placed himself between my open, inviting thighs. I wrapped my legs around his waist and silently begged for him. I could see the apprehension written on his face. “It’s fine. You aren’t going to hurt me Ben.” His eyes read mine and he positioned himself at my slick opening. He slid the crown of his erection into me, then the full length of him. I had forgotten how exquisite he felt filling my body with himself. He sank slowly into me, sheathing every pulsing, hard inch of himself with my ravenous body. He rested himself on his bent elbows, caging me and allowing for just enough space to look at each other. Once he was fully buried inside of me, his lips found mine and tangled in a kiss like none we had ever shared. His rugged facial hair tickled across my jaw as he moved back and forth planting seductive kisses from my lips, jaw, neck, and ears.
“Promise you’ll stay with me, baby.” He eased into a sensual rhythm, thrusting in and out of me and rolling his hips deliciously, stimulating every part of me.
“I’m staying right here.” Ben sighed in relief and scattered kisses over my skin. The physical connection we were sharing mirrored the emotional connection that had been there even through the months we spent apart. I laced my fingers through his silky hair and I kept my green eyes locked on his vivid blue-green depths. His breathing was labored just as mine was. We weren’t having just sex. We were making love and it felt as natural as drawing
breath. Like it was a concept invented specifically for us. He slowly and sweetly built both of us to delectable climax. His lips landed on mine and I moaned into his mouth as a powerful orgasm raced through my body. My body clenched around Ben and he erupted spilling himself into me. We rode the wave of our orgasms together. Tears of joy and relief seeped from the corners of my eyes and rolled down my temples into my hair. Ben stayed planted in me while kissing me breathlessly again.
“I love you,” I murmured against his lips. He kissed me for a moment longer before pulling his full lips from mine.
“I’ve been waiting so long to hear those words come out of your mouth so that I can say them back.” He brushed his thumb across my trembling bottom lip. “I love you too, baby.” I took in his words and let them wash over me.
He loves me.
I let his words breathe fresh life into me and chase away the darkness that encompassed my every waking moment for months. I let those three words banish the terrible past and fill my heart with promise and hope for the future. A future that I prayed I’d share with Ben at my side. I fell to pieces beneath him and was put back together all at the same time. I was his. I was whole.
Epilogue
March 26th, 2014
“C’mon, get up iChey! Seriously, no more dragging your swollen feet.” I stifled a giggle at my snarky little jab. Cheyenne rolled away from me into the mountain of pillows around her and groaned a long string of inaudible words. “Nope, let’s go,” I demanded. I was anxious to get the show on the road. Cheyenne clearly wasn’t.
“I just got comfortable enough to sleep like five freakin’ minutes ago Kat,” she whined. I laughed at my best friend’s pathetic attempt at laser eyeing me to death.
“I know how you feel I sympathize. I really do. Now let’s go. Doc said we have to be there by 7 a.m.” She huffed dramatically and rolled out of the bed she shared with Tucker. He stood at the open door and watched his very, very, pregnant wife shooting dirty looks in every direction. I was still immune to those laser eyes, and lucky for Tucker, he was too.
Ouch! Ignore it. Not today, no way.
I thought about the tightening feeling in my swollen belly. I knew that even though I wasn’t quite due, I could easily be in real labor. I had endured a few false alarms that set my world on its side because it was far too early for our sweet baby to make a debut. “Let’s go already! I’m dying to dig out these cigars!” Ben’s deep voice boomed from down the stairs. I shook my head knowing that he was serious about the cigars. He waved the foul smelling things in my face when he brought them home. “Celebratory cigars” is what he said they were. My thoughts were how it was unfair that the men got to smoke cigars while the wives, who just gave birth, lie spent and exhausted in some uncomfortable hospital bed. I never voiced my opinion of course. I just smiled sweetly and said “That’s great, baby.” We convoyed across town to the hospital and got Cheyenne all checked in, and the show began. Cheyenne was scheduled for a cesarean section that day since her little guy refused to cooperate and nestled himself into a cozy, albeit inconvenient, breech position. Doctors had no choice but to go forward with a cesarean section. Cheyenne was right on target at forty weeks pregnant, and all of us could not be happier that she was able to conceive and carry her miracle baby to full term. I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant and sat in the waiting room trying to decipher whether or not the contractions that I was feeling were the real deal or not.
Can’t be in labor right now. It’s Cheyenne’s day. Oh hold off just a little longer would you?
I begged inwardly hoping that our baby could hear my pleas and sit tight just a day or two longer. It would seem that Benjamin Chase’s offspring inherited his strong genes because my begging went unanswered and right there in the waiting room my water broke.
“Uh-oh,” I whispered.
“Uh-oh? What is uh-oh?” Ben jumped up from his seat and his large frame went rigid when he stared down at the puddle of amniotic fluid on the floor. “Oh shit, baby, you, oh shit-” Ben began looking around and panicking.
“Ben!” His attention snapped to me. “Calm down. We’re in a hospital. Remember? It’s going to be okay.
We need to tell a nurse that I’m in labor.” I remained as calm as I could for my husband’s benefit but on the inside I was more nervous than the day we were married.
The day that Cheyenne and Tucker tricked me into going to Ben’s house we said we loved each other for the first time and not a minute after making love Ben reached into his nightstand and withdrew the most breathtaking vintage diamond solitaire ring. He told me that his mom passed it down to him the day after she met me in his living room. It had been her mother’s ring. She died years before and the staggering big glistening diamond ring now belonged to Ben. She had told him that I was ‘the one’.
He apparently agreed since he pulled out that ring and with tears in both our eyes he asked me to spend the rest of my life as Mrs. Benjamin Chase. I said yes, of course, and Ben had me moved into the house with him the next day. We were married only two months later under tall oaks on Turtle Creek. Aidan was at our wedding and had been around but not nearly as much as he was when he first moved to Dallas. I couldn’t be sure but I suspected there was a new lady in his life. He never volunteered any information and I never meddled. Things were comfortable between us and I planned on it staying that way.
Things at the firm settled down though Janis’ whereabouts were still a mystery. John Murray was apprehended in Mexico and extradited back to the United States where he was now awaiting trial on charges a mile long including the murder of Mrs. Kemp’s husband. Turns out, Murrays goons sang like I knew they would when they were caught at the Canadian border. They were offered a deal in exchange for their testimony against John Murray and they took it. My night terrors still tormented me but Ben is a healing presence at my side every night. I had long since dropped my snooping efforts but Janis was never far from my mind. Not knowing where she was made me uneasy, and I knew being too complacent could cause disasters. I found that out the hard way at the hands of one bat wielding overweight guy and his muscle bound side-kick.
“Oh, that’s strong” I said while trying my best to keep breathing. Ben held my hand dutifully through each contraction and coached me just as he had learned in the labor and delivery classes we attended. He was fantastic when it came time to deliver our little angel. I was and still am one lucky woman. We welcomed seven pounds, two ounces, Serafina Esme Chase to the world. Our brown haired blue eyed angel was born a mere four hours after our god son, Marshall Charles Barrett.
All of that brings me to the present where I sit comfortably in the living room of the home that Ben and I shared. I was sorting through the hordes of congratulatory greeting cards that our friends, family, and Ben’s associates had sent us. I slit the seam of yet another card open and looked up from my lap. I could think of no sight I loved more than the one before me. Our precious newborn, Serafina, swaddled in her pink blanket as my husband slowly swayed to and fro with her tucked safely
in his arms. My seven years of bad luck brought me here and here couldn’t possibly feel any better than it already did. I flipped open the greeting card and my blood turns to ice.
“No,” I mumble. I was looking at the birth announcement that I mailed out to everyone we know. The photo is of Ben and I cuddled up with our sweet baby girl. It was the perfect photo and choosing it from the lot of photos was an easy task. Except this one that has been sent back to me is not what I sent out to everyone. Not by a long shot. This was our photo alright, but someone has vigorously scratched out both Serafina’s and my faces.
Who would do this?
I am frightened and panicking now. Me being threatened is one thing but, our innocent, newborn child being threatened by someone who is hiding behind an anonymous envelope is a whole new world of fear, anxiety, and anger that I was being thrown into. I know who the hell did this.
I hold up the destroyed photo and Ben’s swaying has stopped. He is frozen in place, and his face has paled as he takes in the disturbing picture. I looked him in the face. “Told you that psycho bitch needed to be stopped.”
Acknowledgements
I have always believed that people are born with a predetermined calling. A teacher is born to one day teach. A singer is born to one day sing. A writer is born to one day write. I know that writing was what I was born to do. It is as natural and necessary to my existence as drawing breath. Along the line somewhere, I misplaced my pen and paper. I longed to have them back but knew not where to look. Then one day, someone gave me back my pen and paper. To this person I say thank you. I am indebted.
To the countless friends who have supported me so vocally. Your encouragement and support was a necessary tool in the writing of this book. Thank you.
To all my friends in the Indie author community. You all are an outstanding group of talented people who humble, inspire, encourage and entertain me everyday merely with your presence in my small world. Thank you for including me in yours.
To my family. A beautiful group of people with varying personalities without which, I would live a dreadful boring life. You are all invaluable to me. To my mother. You have been nothing but supportive in my endeavor to write. You have spent countless hours perched on a stool beside my desk listening to me read my work aloud. Your enthusiasm and encouragement has never wavered and I thank you for that. It has been a gift beyond measure.
To Mandi. You are my Cheyenne. You are the muse to my writing, and my life. You are a beacon of light through the dark when it threatens to cloak my world. It’s you who I look to when I need a laugh, a shoulder, an ear, or a friend. Thank you for being you. Your friendship, support, understanding, honesty, and love enrich my life even further every day. I love you forevesr. Together, we take flight.
To my husband. For once, words escape me. You render me speechless, my love.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Epilogue
Acknowledgements