I forced those thoughts aside. I couldn't think like that. Forrest was going to come back, and Nova was my key.
Chapter Seven
I woke to the sounds of Jackson fussing. Leaning over, I pulled the bassinette closer, then slid him in bed beside me. I dozed as he nursed, until Sarah screamed. I sat up, which caused Jackson to cry as she pounded on my door. "Bray!"
I covered myself and hurried over to let her in. "What—?"
"That horrible girl left us a surprise in the bathroom." She grabbed my arm and tugged me down the hallway.
I gasped as I stepped in. The walls were covered in swearing and racial slurs about whites, all written in… "Is that poop?'
"Yes!" Sarah exclaimed as she squirmed. "She reached into the toilet, and cussed us out in her own sh—"
"Sarah, don't lower yourself to that level." I stepped in to assess the situation. "Well, I guess she's cleaning the bathroom today."
"She's gone."
I swung around to her. "What do you mean?"
"She split during the night. It looks like she climbed out the window and down the tree in the front yard."
"Oh no she didn't."
I hurried back to my room and plucked up Jackson.
"I have some pumped milk in the freezer. He's about halfway through a feed." I handed him to her, then rushed down the stairs.
"Bray, where are you going?"
I pulled open the closet by the door, and plucked out my coat. "To get Nova back."
I slammed the door shut behind me.
It didn't take me long to find her, I just followed the trail of irritated people into the grocery store. I burst in to find her slipping a packet of jerky under her sweater. Grabbing her wrist, I pulled the jerky free. "If you want this, you have to earn it."
She glared at me.
"Do you have anything else?"
She pursed her lips, so I frisked her. She slapped me across the head.
Patrick yelled, "Hey! You treat her with some respect, you little brat."
I pulled out a packet of gum and my wallet. "This is ending today," I said, waving my wallet in her face. "You're going to clean up that mess in my bathroom, and you're going to start learning some respect."
She rolled her eyes.
"Don't you dare roll your eyes at me!" I opened my wallet and shoved the picture of Forrest in her face. "I know you have a giant crush on my husband, so why don't you show him some respect."
She flinched and pulled back.
"Do you know where he is?"
She pursed her lips as her chin quivered.
I grabbed her arm. "Come on, you have work to do."
Back at the house, we stood by the bathroom door staring in. "You're cleaning the whole thing, including scrubbing the toilet and the shower. This place will be spotless."
She made a strange strangled sound as she fought to suppress what she wanted to say.
"Say it," I snapped. "You wrote it all over the walls with perfect spelling, so just say it."
She glared at me and pulled the bucket of cleaning supplies from my hands, then slammed the door in my face.
I bubbled with rage and yelled, "Next time you slam a door I'll, I'll…" I paused to think. "I'll buy cloth diapers and make you wash them all by hand."
She punched the door.
"If you break anything, including that door, you'll be cleaning up the yard until I'm satisfied you've paid it off."
She snarled before I heard the water running.
I folded my arms. There was no way she would trash my house and get away with it. I marched down the stairs. Sarah sat in the kitchen with Jackson on a blanket having tummy time. I huffed as I sunk into the chair. "I don't know how Forrest does it."
Sarah shuffled up beside me, handing me a mug of hot chocolate. "Next best thing to coffee while nursing."
"Thank you." I sipped at it, letting the warmth relax me. "She'll bring Forrest back, I just know it." I dropped my head onto the small table.
She stroked my hair. "I hope so."
*
The next few weeks an endless battle ensued. Nova's defiance knew no bounds, but I lost it when she stole all the pictures of Forrest around the house and stashed them away.
Sarah and I searched everywhere for them, until we finally found them buried in the back corner of the backyard. We dug them out and cleaned them off.
While Sarah replaced them on the walls, I charged into Nova's room. "Why would you do that?"
She covered her face with her pillow.
"Nova, answer me." I pulled the pillow away. "Why did you do that? There were wedding photos. You could have destroyed them."
She scoffed.
"This is getting ridiculous." I sunk into the armchair by the window. "I'm going to sit here until you communicate with me in some way other than surly looks."
She shrugged and rolled over.
Hours passed as I sat there and we both dozed in and out of sleep. Finally, she woke me and handed me a piece of paper. I opened it and read the bold letters, "I hate you."
She sank onto the bed beside me and folded her arms.
I looked at her. "Is that it? All you can say is that you hate me?"
She gave a sharp nod.
"But you think you're in love with my husband."
She tensed as her gaze shot to me.
"I'm not an idiot." I stood and tossed the paper on her bed. "You couldn't look at those photos because it was me with him and you couldn't bear it."
Her chin quivered.
"You hate me because he loves me."
Her glare shot to me the moment before she leapt at me, screaming. I grabbed her wrists as she went for my eyes and kicked out at me. I pushed her back onto the bed and pinned her down. She struggled underneath me, screaming her lungs out.
Sarah burst in and gasped. "What's going on?"
Nova spat at her.
I grabbed her mouth. "Enough! I'm done with this. Do you really want to go back into the system? Do you really want Sheriff Davis to come take you back and stick you in the Res' juvie? Because all of this tells me that you would prefer that to here. But let me tell you something, Nova, I believe in what Forrest is working to do. I know he sees something in you worth saving, so I don't want to let Sheriff Davis take you in. I know you asked Forrest to come live with us, so here you are."
Her struggling came to an abrupt halt. She stared up at me, her eyes narrowing. Her body relaxed as she looked away.
I climbed off and sat beside her. "I don't want to fight with you. Can we find some way to get along?"
A tear escaped from her eye, but she wiped it away, rolling to face the wall.
I sighed, knowing I'd made some progress with her. "We're going to have dinner at six if you want to join us."
I stood and nodded to Sarah as I passed through the door.
That night, for the first time, Nova joined us for dinner.
*
Banging on the door snapped me out of my sleep. I rushed downstairs and opened it. "Mom?"
"Oh Bray!" She threw her arms around me, sobbing. "You haven't answered my emails or calls in weeks. I've been so worried, so I called the sheriff and he told me about Forrest and I caught the first flight up here."
She leaned back and clasped my face to look into it. "Why didn't you tell me?"
I trembled as I forced my emotions into submission. "I didn't want to worry you. Forrest will show up."
Her head dropped as she cried. "How long has it been?"
"Eight weeks…" Had it really been that long? I hurried to look at the calendar in the kitchen. It had actually been nine. I sank into a chair. Nine weeks? How could Forrest leave me for so long? Our wedding anniversary was coming up, he'd come back for that, I just knew it.
When Mom touched my shoulder, I launched to my feet and flicked the calendar to the next month, pointing at our anniversary.
"He'll be back by then," I said. "He wouldn't miss it."
"Bray." She sank into
the chair I just vacated. "Honey, do you really think he'd leave without a trace for this long? Sweetheart, as much as I don't want to say it, but maybe you need to start facing the fact that he's—"
"Don't!" I yelled. "He's coming back."
"Bray—"
"Mom, he's just doing something, I don't know what, but he's just… but he'll come back. The deputy has his jacket and promised he'd give it to him when they find him. He'll be so grateful because it's been so cold and snowy."
"Bray, honey, I don't think he'll need his jacket."
I collapsed onto the chair beside her. My head fell into the crook of my elbow as I leaned over the table. "Yes he will. He's coming back. He has to come back."
But she was right. Nine weeks? We hadn't spent more than two days apart since we started dating. I knew there was no way he'd just run off, so he had to be… he must be… I couldn't even think it, but I knew. I sobbed into my arm while Mom stroked my hair.
"Sweetheart, you can't keep on like this," she whispered after several minutes. "I think maybe we should have a memorial service for him."
"Not yet," I whispered. "He could still show up."
"Bray, I know it's breaking your heart, but if you keep holding onto this hope that he's alive, you'll never allow yourself to grieve and move on with your life."
"I won't move on," I snarled. "He's the love of my life."
She sighed. I looked up at her as tears streamed down her face. She ran her fingers through my hair. Up until that moment, I didn't consider how anyone else felt. But she must have been up all night travelling to be with me, to comfort me when she, too, loved Forrest.
From behind her, something caught my eye. Nova stood tucked behind the door listening in the hallway. She was traumatized by something, I knew that much, so maybe she saw Forrest die.
My head sank back onto my elbow as I cried. Mom was right. I needed to face the reality that Forrest wouldn't just leave me, so he must be dead.
I cried and cried, allowing my hope to seep out, let reality take hold, and my grief to wash over me.
When my tears dried up and I couldn't cry one more, I noticed Sarah beside me. At some point she'd set a hot chocolate down for me and sat staring blankly ahead while she sipped her own.
I sat up, my eyes puffy and my nose runny as I glanced between them. "Mom, you're right. I want to believe he's still alive somewhere, but I know he'd never…"
My voice caught and I forced myself to swallow the lump. "We should hold a memorial service, and I should contact his sisters."
Mom squeezed my hand. "Leave that to me." She stood and turned, and jumped when she saw Nova tucked behind the door. "Oh my! Who's this?"
"Nova," I said. "Meet my mom."
She scowled and dashed back upstairs.
Mom swung to face me. "Is she the girl who disappeared the same time as Forrest?"
I frowned. "How much did the sheriff tell you?"
"Bray!" She rushed back to me. "She could have murdered him. I can't believe you brought her into your home."
I rolled my eyes. "I don't think a girl that size could do anything to Forrest."
"Have you heard of a gun?"
I froze. The sheriff said she knew how to use a gun, and had one count of armed robbery on her records. But I knew how she felt about Forrest, and I knew enough about her from the last few weeks to know that, despite her rough and foul attitude, she wasn't a killer. "She didn't kill him."
Mom rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I'll call his sisters."
She left the room and Sarah grasped my hand. "Since your mom is here, I might move back to my place, unless you want me to stay?"
I shook my head. "You should go home. You've been here for a long time, and as much as I'm truly grateful for everything you've done, I can't expect you to stay."
She squeezed my hand. "I will if you want me to."
"I know where I can find you if I need it."
She shuffled closer and wrapped her arms around me. "Everything will turn out, and I'll be here for you no matter what."
I pulled back. "I know you will, but I haven't been there for you. Did you go on that date with the sheriff?"
She blushed and shook her head. "It was supposed to be the Friday night two nights after Forrest disappeared, so we cancelled."
"Sarah, I'm sorry."
She raised an eyebrow. "You don't need to be sorry. This is way more important than a stupid date." She stood. "I'll go pack my things and I'll collect them after work."
She left me sitting alone in the kitchen. Realizing how cold I felt, I made my way over to turn up the heater. As I turned back around, I jumped at Nova standing right behind me.
Her gaze lifted as she searched my face. I stood rigid, wondering what she was thinking and what she would do next. Then, her hand wrapped around mine and her head rested on my shoulder as she cried. My jaw fell, but I wrapped my arms around her and stroked her hair. Her arms wrapped around my waist as her sobs intensified. What a strange turn of events!
Sarah walked in, but paused at the door, her jaw hanging. Our eyes locked and she nodded, backing out again.
A while later, we all walked Sarah to work. Nova's hand held tightly to mine the whole time, while Mom pushed the stroller for me. None of us spoke a word, but I kept catching Mom and Sarah stealing confused glances at Nova.
We dropped off Sarah at Town Hall, and slowly made our way back. As we approached the grocery store, I said, "Nova, would you like me to buy that jerky for you? I need to buy some milk while we're here."
She shook her head. But when we stepped inside, she tugged me over to the candy rack and pointed at a chocolate bar. "You want chocolate?"
She nodded.
"Okay, put it in our basket."
She grinned and grabbed it.
As we checked out, she rested her head against my shoulder again and sighed.
Reba gave me an odd, confused look, but Nova didn't notice. She just grabbed her chocolate bar and, once I paid for it, ripped the packaging open.
"I feed her, I promise," I muttered as Reba's eyes widened.
Nova paused and grinned.
We headed back out to the street where we almost ran into the sheriff. His gaze fell to Nova's hand still wrapped around mine before he tipped his hat. "Ladies."
"Hello, Sheriff," I answered.
Nova shuffled behind me.
"Sarah told me your mother was here," he said to me. "It's good to see you again."
He tipped his hat to Mom.
"You too, Sheriff, and I'm sorry for ripping your head off over the phone."
He smiled. "That's all right. Mrs. Miller here has given me much worse."
Mom chuckled, batting her eyes. "I don't doubt it. I raised my daughter to be assertive."
He raised his eyebrows. "Well, you succeeded."
I grunted.
He cleared his throat. "I'll swing by tonight to help move Sarah out. Is there anything you need done while I'm there?"
"I don't think—"
"Yes," Mom interrupted. "I noticed some of the shingles have come loose as I pulled up, and I'm also wondering where her car is."
"Her car is still in the police compound in Bearville—"
"Well she needs it," Mom snapped. "What if something happens and she needs to rush out of town? Or it's snowing and she needs to go out with Jackson? He can't be exposed to the elements like that."
"I'll see if I can get it released," the sheriff said. "They should have done all the forensics on it by now."
"Good." Mom nodded with stiff chin. "Oh, and she needs her dishwasher looked at. It's stopped working."
"Mom," I said. "He's the sheriff, not a handyman."
"He offered." She shrugged.
"It's all right, Mrs. Miller," he said. "I'll be off duty, so I'll have some spare time to fix things up for you."
I huffed, slumping. "Fine. But just this once. I'll employ a handyman to fix anything else that comes up."
He tipped hi
s hat. "I'm off at six, so I'll change and come right over."
"Thank you," Mom called as we went our separate ways.
Once he was out of earshot, I hissed, "Mom! I really don't want the sheriff around like that."
"Why?" Mom asked, tilting her head. "He's a nice young man, and to be honest, your place still needs a lot of work which I know you can't do, Cinderella."
"The sheriff and I don't exactly see eye to eye on a lot of things, so I'd prefer to only see him when I have to."
"For a girl who was such a slut most of her years of college, you've become pretty uptight."
I slapped her arm. "Mom!"
Nova giggled.
"I wasn't a slut," I grumbled. "I just had a string of boyfriends, most of which I didn't sleep with. But when Forrest came along…"
There was a long pause before she said, "I'm glad you found him."
I stared at the stroller as Jackson wriggled under the blankets. "Me too." I sighed as tears surfaced again. "I miss him."
She ran her fingers through her hair. "I know you do."
I huffed, forcing back my tears. "It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. We were going to have four children and grow old together."
"I know, but life doesn't always turn out as you planned. You know your father and I wanted lots of children too, but circumstances prevented it. At least we had you, just like you have Jackson."
I smiled as I stared at my son. "As long as I have Jackson, I'll still have Forrest with me."
She wrapped her arm around my waist and kissed my head. Nova squeezed my hand.
Chapter Eight
Mom let in the sheriff and he removed his hat. "Hello, Mrs. Thomas."
She smiled. "Hello, Sheriff."
"I'm off duty, call me Paul."
"All right, Paul."
He glanced around, resting his hands on his hips. "Where should I start?" I walked down the stairs and he nodded. "Braydon."
"You really don't have to do anything," I said.
"I saw those loose shingles you were talking about," he said, turning his attention to Mom. "I brought my own ladder and tools so I can start there."
Papina (Bearville County) Page 5