The Doldrums and the Helmsley Curse

by Nicholas Gannon

  “Let me in!”

  Oliver carefully unlocked the door. Archer squeezed through the crack.

  “Back!” Oliver shouted, struggling to get it shut again. The students laughed and pushed against it. “Back, you animals!”

  Archer and Adélaïde helped Oliver shove the door shut.

  “The line goes all the way down Howling Bloom,” Archer said, panting, his cheeks flushed.

  “We’re never volunteering again,” Oliver replied, turning the lock.

  The shop suddenly filled with music, and Mr. DuttonLick reappeared with a giant reel of tickets. There would be a raffle during the party, and the lucky winner would receive a special card that awarded one free sweet every day for an entire year.

  “A ticket for each of you! Now stand back! I’m going to unlock that door. This could be dangerous. That’s quite the crowd.”

  Archer, Oliver, and Adélaïde fled to the second-floor balcony.

  “They’re going to demolish him!” Oliver yelled as Mr. DuttonLick unlocked the door.

  Excited students gushed in. It had to be the entire Button Factory student body. Or maybe every student in Rosewood. Mr. DuttonLick’s arms were a blur, tossing tickets left and right. Alice, Molly, and Charlie got their tickets and, apparently not wanting to fill their own hot chocolates, took three cups from students who already had. Digby spotted the trio at the railing but pretended he hadn’t, and joined a clog of bodies fighting to reach a table of sweets. Archer searched the joyous, growing crowd for Benjamin. No one noticed Kana until she was next to them.

  “I read about Mr. Bray,” she said. “Is it as bad as I feel it is?”

  “We think Mr. Mullfort has him locked up somewhere,” Oliver explained. Adélaïde nudged him forcefully. “Oh. Right. I was a rotten eggplant, Kana.”

  Kana’s silver streak fell across her forehead. “In a previous life, you mean?” she asked, tucking it behind her ear.

  “No. I was never . . . I’m just trying to say I’m sorry for calling you psycho. And Adélaïde told me what you were about to do when we were trapped inside Mr. Birthwhistle’s office. Thanks for that.”

  Kana smiled generously. “I’m just glad you were never an actual rotten eggplant. That would be unpleasant.”

  “He’s here,” Archer said.

  Benjamin circled up the stairs and shoved his way through students to join them.

  “It’s like the breakfast stampede at Raven Wood,” he said, grinning at Archer. “Is the Doxical Powder ready?”

  Oliver tapped his pocket. “Let’s do this on the third floor.”

  The five climbed up one more flight and crammed together on a couch. A huge, rowdy crowd filled in around them. Archer was beginning to think that testing Doxical Powder in such a public setting might be a mistake. Everyone seemed to be staring at them, and it got so loud they had to huddle to hear one another.

  “Here are the uniforms,” Benjamin said, handing Adélaïde a brown paper bag. “They might not be the best fit, but they’ll work. And this is the map.”

  The Society map was not what Archer had expected. It was very elaborate—like a booklet of maps with layouts of every floor and every room, though Benjamin mentioned he’d found a number of secret passageways and rooms that for some reason weren’t on the map.

  “If something goes wrong tomorrow and you need my help, you can find me here.” Benjamin tapped a room in one of the Society’s towers. “That’s the Greenhorn Commons. But be careful. Mrs. Malmurna might be there, too.”

  Archer was still poring over the map when Oliver presented him with three chocolate turtles. Archer gulped when he saw them.

  “I spoke to Mr. Spinler at the Society,” Benjamin said, watching Oliver hand them to Archer. “A pinch of Doxical Powder will last an hour. It’s a small dose and will only affect your most prominent attribute. It’ll make a coward brave or a nasty person nice. The more you take, the more of your personality it will affect.”

  Archer lined the turtles up on his palm and sniffed them. He couldn’t smell the Doxical Powder.

  “I’d take one,” Benjamin advised.

  Archer gazed nervously at his friends. All of them were staring, eyes wide, back at him.

  “I should apologize now,” he said. “In case I become someone miserable. And please don’t let me go home or go anywhere I shouldn’t. And if I— NO!”

  Charlie swooped in and swiped the turtles. Archer jumped to his feet. Alice and Molly, right behind Charlie, giggled with delight.

  “You don’t want to eat those!” Archer yelled, trying to grab the chocolates. “They’re not what you—”

  It was too late. Alice, Molly, and Charlie gobbled the turtles and raced to the other side of the room, singing, “Meegflog! Wolpshure! Fishperg! Gloop!” all the way.

  ♦ THE VERY MERRY THREE ♦

  “It’s been ten minutes.”

  “I don’t think it’s working.”

  “How long is this supposed to take?”

  “Ten minutes.”

  They were studying the terrible three, unsure what they were expecting to see.

  “I was a little worried about this,” Benjamin explained. “I think the chocolate might have altered its—”

  Charlie’s eyebrow twitched. They all saw it. Then it twitched again. Charlie must have noticed it, too, after the third time. He became very quiet. Alice and Molly were still yapping. Charlie’s entire eyelid twitched. Then Alice fell silent. She seemed afraid to open her mouth—perhaps afraid something other than a nasty word would come out if she did. It was the opposite for Molly. Her mouth kept opening and closing like a fish. Charlie gazed around as though he’d forgotten where he was. Alice and Molly stared at each other as though hidden deep in the other’s face were the secrets of the universe. Then it was over. Like nothing had happened at all.

  “Did it work?” Adélaïde asked, sounding disappointed.

  No one could tell. Alice, Molly, and Charlie were still among their friends, but they didn’t seem to be enjoying the company anymore.

  “They’re staring at us, Archer,” Kana warned. “They’re smiling. They’re . . . they’re coming. . . . Everyone look busy!”

  Adélaïde practically dove into the brown paper bag. Kana covered her face with her hair. Archer and Benjamin opened the map. Oliver glanced left and right. He had nothing to do but panic.

  “I’m sorry, Archer,” Charlie said, poking Archer’s shoulder. “I shouldn’t have eaten your chocolates. Do you want to—Archer?”

  Archer and Benjamin kept their eyes fixed on the map.

  Molly pulled Adélaïde’s head from the paper bag. “I’m sorry I tripped you,” she said. And she meant it. She actually meant it. “Would you like to—”

  “Thanks, Molly, but I’m a little busy with this paper bag,” Adélaïde said, leaning away from Molly’s creepy grin. She pointed to Oliver. “Why don’t you spend time with him? All of you. Oliver’s been very lonely lately.”

  Oliver’s incredulity became a strained smile as Alice, Molly, and Charlie surrounded him. For reasons no one could understand, Alice and Molly looked perfectly smitten. It was like Oliver was a precious jewel—with hair that didn’t sit flat.

  “We want to sing carols!” Alice said, glomming onto one of Oliver arms. Molly took the other. “You have to come with us!”

  Oliver flashed his friends a desperate grimace. Don’t let them take me! But a minute later, he was gone.

  “I guess Doxical Powder works,” Adélaïde said.

  Kana blew the hair from her face. Everyone was laughing.

  “We should probably keep an eye on them,” Benjamin suggested.

  “Let’s get some chocolates first,” Kana said. “Before they’re all gone.”

  Adélaïde and Kana led the way to the chocolate tables. Archer and Benjamin followed, but with the wild crowd, it was like trying to keep your eyes on two buoys while bobbing in waves. The tables on the third floor had been ransacked and were completely empty. So w
ere the second-floor tables. They circled down the stairs to the first floor.

  “Well, that’s depressing,” Adélaïde said when they reached the final table.

  All that remained were the dregs, bits of chocolate scattered here and there. They grabbed what they could and found a pocket of space below the balcony where, for a while, they too enjoyed the party. Archer didn’t want to talk about tomorrow, and Benjamin never mentioned it either. Everywhere they looked, students were laughing and toasting, and a few were even dancing. A boy shot past them wrapped in purple streamers, followed by a girl with a seahorse balloon taped to her face.

  “I think sugar is just as strong as Doxical Powder,” Archer said, laughing.

  “What’s she talking about?” Benjamin asked, nodding to Kana.

  It was difficult to hear, but Adélaïde was giggling as Kana acted out a story involving a horse. Or maybe it was a cow? Had Kana been trampled by a cow? Suddenly she stopped her story and pointed to the second-floor balcony.

  “Look!”

  Oliver was at the railing, surveying the crowd with a kingly air. Alice, Molly, and Charlie were at his sides, serving him chocolates, which Oliver ate with great benevolence. They were also singing what sounded like Good King Wenceslas, but with different words.

  Good King Ol-i-ver looked out,

  On the feasting party.

  Where the sweets lay all around,

  Rich and sweet and hearty.

  “They are treating him like a king,” Kana marveled.

  “This is going to go straight to his head,” Adélaïde said, trying not to laugh.

  “If you’re right about the time, Benjamin,” Archer said. “Oliver has thirty minutes left to enjoy this.”

  “It might be a rough transition for him,” Benjamin replied.

  Oliver shouted down to them over the noise of the party.

  “These guys are hilarious! They were singing ‘Jingle Bells’ to Digby—except they changed the words to ‘Digby’s Swell.’ Digby was all confused. He thought they were going to attack him. He’s still crouching in a corner. I’m going to cherish this night for the rest of my life!”

  Oliver disappeared again for a while, but when it came time for the raffle, he was back at the railing, flanked by his merry companions. The crowd parted for Mr. DuttonLick, who wheeled a large raffle drum to the front of the shop. Everyone quieted, clutching their tickets as Mr. DuttonLick began spinning the drum.

  Archer and Benjamin peered over the shoulders of a boy and a girl in front of them.

  “You lost it, didn’t you?” the girl was saying to the panic-stricken boy, who was desperately emptying his pockets. “I’ll bet you ate it by mistake. I told you to keep it safe.”

  Archer and Benjamin laughed quietly. Tickets bounced all around the raffle drum as Mr. DuttonLick spun it rapidly. He released the handle and reached in.

  “And our lucky winner is . . . ticket one hundred and thirty-nine!”

  Archer frowned. Not him. Benjamin hadn’t won either. Adélaïde and Kana shook their heads.

  “I repeat! Ticket one hundred and thirty-nine!”

  Everyone was mumbling and looking around. Benjamin nudged Archer and pointed toward Charlie at the balcony. He was trying to swap tickets with Oliver. And though Oliver seemed uncomfortable about it, Charlie triumphed and raised Oliver’s hand.

  “Good King Oliver has won!”

  The crowd cheered and made room for Oliver to get to the main floor.

  “Look at him,” Adélaïde said, smiling as Oliver received the free-sweet-a-day card from Mr. DuttonLick. “He’s going to burst with joy.”

  Oliver thrust the card into the air. The crowd roared, none louder than Archer and Adélaïde. But the shop suddenly fell silent when a piercing cry rang out from the balcony.

  “Something’s wrong!”

  “It’s over,” Benjamin whispered to Archer.

  Charlie’s eyes were twitching again. Molly and Alice were twitching too. Everyone stepped forward, peering up at them, not sure what to make of it.

  “It’s the Helmsley Curse!” someone shouted. “My parents warned me about this!”

  Archer shrank back, fearing the party might turn on him. Adélaïde, Kana, and Benjamin leaned over him protectively. Up on the balcony, the twitching stopped. The merry three were once again the terrible three, and Charlie’s eyes were fixed on the card in Oliver’s hand.

  “That’s mine!” he shouted. “Oliver took my ticket! He stole it!”

  A girl next to Charlie grabbed Oliver’s former ticket from Charlie’s hand.

  “Charlie’s lying,” she said, waving it above her head. “His ticket is right here.”

  The terrible three left the balcony amid a chorus of boos.

  ♦ SILENT NIGHT ♦

  “I’m not sure it’s possible,” Benjamin said as Archer walked him to DuttonLick’s front door, “but once the Inquiry is over, maybe we could be friends again.”

  Archer wasn’t sure that would be possible either. “Thanks for your help, Benjamin,” he said, watching as Benjamin trudged off down Howling Bloom Street.

  Archer rejoined Oliver, Adélaïde, and Kana, but his thoughts left the party when Benjamin did. He stared past his laughing friends to the front windows. The Doxical Powder worked. They were sure to get the truck now. His grandparents’ fate was in his hands. A few chocolate dregs were also in his hands, but at a sudden flash of color outside, he dropped them all over the floor.

  “What’s going on?” Oliver asked, picking them up. “Archer? You’re scaring people with that look on your face.”

  Archer stood silent, staring at the windows.

  “Did you see something?” Adélaïde asked.

  “You look frightened,” Kana added.

  “I could have sworn I . . . it happened so quickly that I’m not . . . I think he was watching me—watching us.”

  “Who was watching us?” Oliver asked.

  “Mr. Mullfort.”

  They searched the windows, but there was no sign of Mr. Mullfort. Adélaïde and Kana even went outside and squinted both ways down Howling Bloom Street.

  “There’s no one out there, Archer,” Adélaïde said, shivering as she shut the door.

  “Are you sure you’re not just worried about seeing him?” Kana asked.

  Had he imagined it? Mr. Mullfort had appeared and disappeared so quickly.

  “Maybe you’ve just seen too much chocolate,” Oliver suggested.

  “We’ve all seen too much chocolate,” Adélaïde agreed, glancing around the sweetshop. “This place looks like a crime scene. Let’s get out of here before Mr. DuttonLick asks us to clean up.”

  They grabbed their coats.

  “You keep the Greenhorn uniforms,” Archer said, handing Adélaïde the bag. “We’ll meet at your house first thing in the morning. Here, I’ll take the map. I’d like to go over it.”

  The party was still going strong when they shut the front door and set off for home. There was a break in the clouds overhead, and through it, the moon and the stars glowed brightly in the crisp, cold night. Adélaïde and Kana were laughing about the merry three as they turned onto Foldink Street. Oliver kept pulling his free-sweet-a-day card from his pocket to make sure he hadn’t dreamed it. Archer trailed a few steps behind everyone, still unconvinced he’d only imagined Mr. Mullfort.

  “Get a good night’s sleep,” Adélaïde said, turning with Kana on North Willow Street. “We’re going to need it.”

  Archer and Oliver continued home.

  “We haven’t told anyone about the communications,” Oliver said, putting a hand on Archer’s shoulder. “Mr. Birthwhistle can’t know our plan. I’ll be honest, Adélaïde and I were a little worried about Benjamin. We were watching him during the party. Well, I got tied up. But Adélaïde and Kana were. And they’re convinced he’s not against you.”

  Archer didn’t think so either.

  “This might sound strange coming from me,” Oliver continued as they t
urned onto Willow Street. “But I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Not until tomorrow. Try to get some sleep.”

  “Tomorrow,” Archer repeated, watching Oliver step through the Glubs’ front door.

  Archer was hoping to see his grandparents at home, but they were off with Mr. Dalligold again. Mrs. Helmsley cheered when he told her the party had been a success. He climbed the stairs to his room and spent a few hours at his desk, poring over the elaborate Society map. He marked the Archives and Greenhorn Commons to make it a little easier, then clicked off his lamp and crawled into bed.

  It must have been close to one in the morning when Archer finally began drifting off to sleep. He wasn’t quite there yet. He was in a moment we all experience—that moment where you still have one foot in your bedroom while the other foot steps into a dream. It’s a moment where even the slightest sound inside your room can snatch you from entering that dream and sit you straight up in bed. And that’s what happened to Archer. But it wasn’t a slight noise that snatched him. It was a thunderous noise. It was a terrible noise. And it happened so suddenly that Archer leaped from his bed.

  CHAPTER

  FOURTEEN

  ♦ HELMSLEY HOUSE DISAPPEARS ♦

  Archer’s eyes dashed around his dark bedroom. Had he dreamed it? It sounded like an explosion. He poked his head into the hall. If it had only been a dream, his mother must have had an identical one. Shouts echoed from his parents’ bedroom. The ostrich was bellowing up the stairs.

  “What did that dirty thing do now? Did someone see it? Get this lampshade off my head!”

  Archer hurried down the stairs, but stopped on the third floor. Cold air was surging from the front of the house, like every window had been left open. He threw on the light.

  There wasn’t an open window. There was no window at all. The alcove window above the front door—the window that bubbled out and was capped with a copper roof and a leaping goat—was gone. In its place was a massive hole, at least six feet tall and four feet wide, as though an elephant had escaped Helmsley House. Archer had to be dreaming.