Her Captor

by Lindsey Hart

  Spring was rapidly giving way to summer and the day was bright and warm. Sarah blinked against the bright sunshine as she walked silently beside Veronica down the sidewalk that led away from the hospital.

  Finally, Veronica turned. Her dark hair swirled around her shoulders. Large blue eyes, eyes so like Cam’s, focused on Sarah’s face. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here.”

  “Yes,” Sarah admitted. Veronica’s pace never faltered. It was easy to fall into stride beside her. Sarah sensed a quiet confidence about the young woman.

  “I knew that Trace gave my brother back those photos. I thought it was because Cam kidnapped you and Trace had no choice. I didn’t think anything of it until I got this letter in the mail. It was a strange letter and I knew right away it was from him. He has this unique style of writing… it’s not messy but it’s hard to read. He’s always so embarrassed about his spelling and penmanship since he didn’t finish high school.” Veronica flushed slightly.

  “I know,” Sarah admitted. “He’s never said so but he used to get me to write anything he needed. It was the only way I knew about some of the things he was getting himself into.”

  “Yes. Well, he sent me a letter right before his transplant. He explained everything. He told me that he wanted me to know how sorry he was that he hurt me. I think he was afraid that he wasn’t going to get the chance.” She swallowed hard. “You know, in case the transplant didn’t work out or something happened.” Pain flickered in the depths of her eyes and it was a moment before she could continue. “He wrote that he loved me. He’d never expected to find love, especially not with a little priss like me.”

  Sarah couldn’t smother a giggle. That sounded like her brother alright. “That’s what he called you?”

  “Yes. All the time. He used to say it to ruffle me when we first met but then in time it became sort of an endearment. He wanted me to know that he was sorry for everything. He understood that we couldn’t be together because my brother wanted to protect me but he needed me to know it was Cam who gave him the money for the transplant.” Veronica stopped walking and her eyes searched Sarah’s face. “He wanted to thank Cam but he didn’t know how. He asked me to do it for him.”

  “Oh. Uh- yes…” Sarah didn’t know what to say. Cam had been pretty damn clear that he didn’t want Veronica to know that he had given them the money.

  “Trace told me in that letter to move on with my life. To find someone better and be happy.” Veronica blinked quickly to clear the moisture gathering in her eyes. “The thing is, I can’t do that. There isn’t anyone better than Trace. At least for me. I’ll never be happy with anyone else, not truly, because I’ve known what it’s like to be happy with him.”

  Sarah’s throat closed up. Veronica’s words cut straight through to her heart. She gave voice to all the thoughts and emotions that Sarah couldn’t name or allow herself to feel. Veronica shocked Sarah by taking her hand in her small, slim one.

  “I know something happened on that island. Cam has never taken me there. It’s the one place that is just his. It’s his refuge and his sanctuary. He came back after three weeks there with you and he’s been so… different. I can’t even begin to describe to you how he’s changed. If people thought he was mean before, well, he’s been so surly no one will even talk to him. Even his goons are complaining. All anyone sees when they look at Cam is a beast, but when I look at him I see my brother. I see a strong, kind, compassionate man who the world doesn’t understand because he doesn’t want it to. I want to know how you see him.”

  That quietly spoken demand was Sarah’s undoing. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled over.

  “Hey… it’s alright…” Veronica placed a hand on Sarah’s arm. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that. I just know my brother and I know he wouldn’t have given that money to Trace unless you had something to do with it. The thing about my brother is that he doesn’t change his mind. He hated Trace, especially after those photos. He wouldn’t have given you the money unless he felt something. Everyone thinks my brother is heartless but we both know differently, don’t we?”

  “Yes.” The word came out as a broken sob.

  “I don’t need to know what happened between you two, but do you care about Cam? I mean, really care?”

  Sarah broke away. She took a step back. She scrubbed her hands over her face, wiping at her tears. “I don’t even know what that means. Cam kidnapped me. My brain was all over the map and so were my emotions. I had this plan that I would seduce him and I don’t know, guilt him into giving me the money or make him feel something for me so that he would do it out of compassion. That’s how I justified what I felt at any rate. I was attracted to him. I really did desire him and after just a couple weeks with him I didn’t want to hurt him.” Sarah blushed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you this. It’s personal and you’re his sister.”

  Veronica smiled in understanding. “It’s alright. I think we’re even since I’m in love with your brother.”

  “Even though you’re going to have to fight Cam tooth and nail to be with Trace? Even though Trace is rough around the edges and even now that you know he’s sick? A liver transplant buys him more time but he might not have as much time as the next person.” Even uttering those words made Sarah sick at heart. The best she could do was hope for a better future for her brother.

  The tiny slip of a woman in front of her seemed completely undaunted by all that was against her. “I don’t need Cam’s permission to live my life. It’s my choice. He might not like it but he’ll come around. Or not. I don’t really care. He’ll never disown me or hate me the same way I could never hate him no matter what he did. We’re family. We’re all each other has. As to the liver transplant- well- I understand that Trace might not have as much time as other men but I don’t want any other man. I want him. Even if it means heartache. No one is promised tomorrow. Not one of us.”

  “Yes. I know. My father was taken far too young. It ruined my mother’s life. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if my dad made it home safe the night he died. Would we have grown up, a happy, normal family? Would my brother have turned to crime and ruined his health? Would he have a good job now? Would he be happy and well and safe?”

  “I don’t know,” Veronica said softly. She shifted slightly. Sarah was well aware that the sidewalk was becoming unbearably hard. She resumed walking and Veronica fell into step beside her. “I don’t know anything. I want what’s best for Trace. I love him. I would like to think that I would have met him regardless…”

  “I know. It’s no use wondering what could have been. Perhaps I never would have met Cam then…”

  “You know that Cam doesn’t have to be a what if for you right? You can still make things right. You can still go to him and tell him how you feel.”

  “I don’t even know how I feel! We shared something for three weeks. Less than that, since I was always plotting how to escape or how to get the upper hand. I was always fighting how I felt. I don’t even know what was real and what wasn’t.”

  “I know. It can be so confusing. Love and all that. So what if it was only a few weeks? Some people spend a lifetime trying to love each other or worse, hate each other. Think about all those people who spent decades in unhappy marriages before they woke up and realized that this might be their one chance; that we might truly only live once. It doesn’t matter that you don’t understand how you feel. It doesn’t even matter how it happened. What’s important is the seed, that seed of hope and feeling and love inside of you. If it’s there, it can be watered. If not… well…” Veronica shrugged.

  Sarah wanted to explain to her that it wasn’t so simple. She bit back the words. Veronica was a grown woman. She could decide for herself what love was and wasn’t. Sarah was certainly in no position to tell her otherwise. Maybe it was that simple after all. A seed could be watered. Some seeds grew quickly. Others took time. Did it matter which it was as long as the seed was there?

&
nbsp; “I know love isn’t a plant,” Veronica laughed. “I know that’s probably all bull shit. I just wanted to tell you that I know Cam is unhappy. He’s unhappy because he’s wounded. He’s like a grouchy lion with a thorn in his paw. I don’t really know anything except that my brother has never acted that way before. I think there’s a good chance, even though he would deny it, that there’s a seed in his heart as well.” They reached the end of the sidewalk before the street turned and continued on in another direction. Veronica spun around. “I guess we should get back.”

  “Yes. Uh- look- I don’t know how to thank you for staying with my brother even through everything. Those photos were never his idea. It broke his heart to do that to you. He only went through with it because I insisted.”

  “I know,” Veronica said gently. “Trace really did tell me everything.”

  “And you don’t hate me?” Sarah asked, half amazed.

  Veronica shook her head emphatically. “Not at all. I understand. I would have done anything to save my brother, had the situation been reversed. Actually, that’s what I’m doing right now. I’m here, talking to you because I think you can save him. I know that if he’s fallen in love with you, even just the first stages of it, he’s never going to find someone else if he doesn’t end up with you. Cam’s just like that.”

  “Yes. I imagine he is.” They lapsed into silence for the remainder of the walk. Sarah felt more lost than ever. They finally reached the front doors of the hospital. Sarah hesitated and Veronica paused. “Why don’t you go on in? Tell my brother I’ll be by later.”

  “Of course.” Veronica’s eyes sparkled.

  “How did you meet Trace anyway? I’ve always wondered…”

  A shy smile bloomed over the cherubic face. “Cam told me to stay away from this club. The owner owed him money. He was reluctant to pay and Cam thought it might be the one time he really had to crack down. He warned me to steer clear. The ironic part of it all is I never would have thought of going to some seedy club if he hadn’t said anything. Of course, after he did, I was drawn there like a magnet. I went one night and I met Trace. He was working for the owner at the time, doing some kind of bouncing there. I saw him and I couldn’t get him out of my head. I kept going back. He knew what I was doing. I didn’t beat around the bush exactly. He warned me against him and I guess that eventually I wore down his walls. I told him I would stop showing up if he promised to take me on a date.”

  Sarah grinned. “Well I’m glad he never could get rid of you after that.”

  Veronica surprised her by gripping her hand gently for the second time that day. “Me too. For all our sakes.” She released Sarah’s hand and turned. She walked gracefully through the double sliding glass doors of the hospital’s front entrance.

  Sarah swallowed hard. Her pulse raced compliments of her heart which was currently beating a hundred miles a minute. She’d never dared to think it was possible that Cam would forgive her. It was even more unfathomable to think he would ever take a chance on starting over with her.

  She turned and walked through the parking lot towards her car. Her eyes scanned the building. She knew which room her brother was in. His room overlooked that side of the hospital on the twenty-fourth floor. She imagined Veronica striding through that door, her already beautiful face transformed by the radiance of love. She imaged a fresh start for her brother. He had been changed by love as well. He was a living reminder that miracles did indeed happen.

  Perhaps love, even a tiny seed of love, was powerful enough to forgive past hurts. Perhaps it was powerful enough to offer a new start and a better tomorrow.

  Sarah climbed into her car. Her hand trembled as she inserted her key into the ignition. There really was only one way to find out.

  CHAPTER 13

  The door to Cam’s office opened and closed silently. He didn’t glance up from the pile of paperwork he’d buried himself under. Only one person could open and close a door so quietly. Veronica. She’d been at his office countless times over the past week. Obviously, she had something she wanted to talk to him about but when she came she lost her nerve and made up excuses. Maybe today’s the day.

  Cam finally sighed long and hard to let his sister know just what these interruptions did to his concentration. His head shot up from the notes he was making on a loan document. His hand froze. A second later the ball point pen fell from his fingers and landed with a dull thud. It rolled off a stack of papers and onto the floor but Cam didn’t notice. His attention was locked on the slim figure who stood just inside his office.

  He quickly composed himself, schooling his features to hide his shock. He folded his arms over his chest in a gesture of casualness that he did not feel. “How is it,” he growled under his breath, “That you were able to get past a guard and a secretary trained not to let anyone in?”

  Sarah’s eyes darted around the office before landing on his face. “Well, your ‘guard’ is a seventy year old man who sits at his desk all day with a list in front of him. I told him the same thing I told your secretary. That you were expecting me.”

  “And they believed you even though I left no instruction?”

  “Yes.”

  He laughed bitterly. “You’re as good a liar as you always were, I see.” He nearly felt a spasm of regret when her face fell.

  Sarah glanced behind her at the door, as though she longed to slip out and save herself the trouble. He really wished she would. Liar. Cam carefully ignored that twinge. She finally squared her shoulders, walked over to his massive desk and pulled out a seat. She plopped down. She settled her handbag at her feet and folded her hands in her lap as though she was there for an interview.

  “Nice office,” she whispered bravely. “It’s not what I expected.”

  “Yes, I’m sure you thought that I worked out of a cave with a merry band of thieves by my side.”

  She actually laughed. He’d meant to offend her but the sound of her laughter nearly changed his mind. God, he was ashamed to admit he missed that sound.

  A trace of a smile remained on her full lips. She blinked and waited until he met her eyes. “Cam… I came because I wanted to thank you. I need to thank you for saving my brother’s life.”

  “Needless to say my sister also means to thank me. She’s been trying for the last week but she’s lost her courage every time she comes in here.” That threw Sarah for a loop. He was glad to see the discomfiture on her face.

  “What? How can you-”

  “How do I know that she’s been visiting your brother in the hospital for these past two weeks? Come now Sarah. Surely a man with as black a heart as Cameron Spade has his own sister followed once and a while.” He didn’t add that he did it for Veronica’s protection. He’d only found out about sister and Trace because he was worried about her. He had his men perform a twice weekly security check on her to make sure she wasn’t being harassed or stalked by any of his clients. Some people were bent on revenge and he’d always been cautious when it came to Veronica, even though most people didn’t actually know she was his sister.

  She shrugged slowly. “Yes. Well…”

  “You’ve said thank you. Your gratitude is accepted. You can leave now.” Cam waited. He was thankful for the privacy his desk afforded. Sarah couldn’t see how tight his hands were clenched under that surface.

  “I…” She glanced around the office again and finally sighed. Those feminine shoulders of hers squared and he recognized a flash of the old feistiness in her eyes. Good. He liked defiance. He could deal with that. He couldn’t deal with emotions and gratitude and sappy drivel. “Cam, I’ll go. I promise I will. I just need to know one thing before I do.”

  “What?” The word was ground out past clenched teeth.

  “I need to know why you gave me the money for Trace. You hate him. We both betrayed you in a way. We hurt your sister. I held a knife to your throat, I sunk your boat and you nearly drowned because of me.”

  A cold shiver raced up Cam’s spine. “But I
didn’t, did I? I did drown but you brought me back. You resuscitated me.” He shrugged coldly even though he felt, oddly enough, like breaking down and weeping. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d so much as shed a tear. He certainly hadn’t when their mother died. His burdens had always been far too great to let emotion get in the way. “A life for a life. That’s why I did it. I gave you the money to save your brother’s life because you saved mine.”

  Sarah’s honey eyes flashed angrily. She unclenched her hands and slammed one down on top Cam’s desk, surprising them both. “That’s a lie and you know it! You were the one who saved my life. I was the one who would have drowned had you not swam out for me. You’ll never know the horror and utter fear that went through me while I was trying to bring you back. You can’t imagine what it’s like to look down on the face of the man you’ve pretty much killed.”

  “That’s rather dramatic.”

  “Shut up Cameron!” Sarah hissed. Her face changed and she looked like she was on the verge of crying. He realized what he was doing to her, sitting across from her and pretending like he didn’t feel anything. He was damn good at it too. He’d done it his entire life.

  He held a hand up, hoping to stem her tide of emotion. He didn’t want to see her cry. Her tears had always been his undoing and he needed to remain strong. “Alright. I’ll shut up,” he told her gently.

  She nodded. Her trembling hand reached up and wiped the tears at the corners of her eyes before they could spill over. “You didn’t give me that money because of what happened that night. You were going to give it to me anyway, weren’t you? Even after you found out Trace returned those photos.”

  “I… no. Of course not.”

  “Stop lying to me! Please! Just stop! You might have to lie to everyone else. You might have to put on an act and pretend like you’re some black hearted devil but we both know that’s not who you are. I saw a part of you that was tender and sweet and completely true. You’re a good man. You have a heart, just like everyone else.” She swallowed hard and brushed at tears again. “The truth is, so do I. I told myself that I should seduce you in order to extort money, but the reality is that I used that as a way to excuse myself from feeling anything. That night on the beach, I wanted you. I wanted you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life. It was the same every single time. Every night after that. I was losing my heart and I knew it. That, as much as anything else, was the reason I had to leave.”