Complete Works of Rudyard Kipling (Illustrated)

by Rudyard Kipling

  ‘Says Red Jacket, keeping back in the dark, “Look at his face!”

  ‘I was looking. I protest to you I wasn’t frightened like I was when Big Hand talked to his gentlemen. I — I only looked, and I wondered that even those dead dumb dice ‘ud dare to fall different from what that face wished. It — it was a face!

  ‘“He is bad,” says Red Jacket. “But he is a great chief. The French have sent away a great chief. I thought so when he told us his lies. Now I know.”

  ‘I had to go on to the party, so I asked him to call round for me afterwards and we’d have hymn-singing at Toby’s as usual. “No,” he says. “Tell Toby I am not Christian tonight. All Indian.” He had those fits sometimes. I wanted to know more about Monsieur Peringuey, and the emigre party was the very place to find out. It’s neither here nor there, of course, but those French emigre parties they almost make you cry. The men that you bought fruit of in Market Street, the hairdressers and fencing-masters and French teachers, they turn back again by candlelight to what they used to be at home, and you catch their real names. There wasn’t much room in the washhouse, so I sat on top of the copper and played ‘em the tunes they called for — ”Si le Roi m’avait donne,” and such nursery stuff. They cried sometimes. It hurt me to take their money afterwards, indeed it did. And there I found out about Monsieur Peringuey. He was a proper rogue too! None of ‘em had a good word for him except the Marquise that kept the French boarding-house on Fourth Street. I made out that his real name was the Count Talleyrand de Perigord — a priest right enough, but sorely come down in the world. He’d been King Louis’ Ambassador to England a year or two back, before the French had cut off King Louis’ head; and, by what I heard, that head wasn’t hardly more than hanging loose before he’d run back to Paris and prevailed on Danton, the very man which did the murder, to send him back to England again as Ambassador of the French Republic! That was too much for the English, so they kicked him out by Act of Parliament, and he’d fled to the Americas without money or friends or prospects. I’m telling you the talk in the washhouse. Some of ‘em was laughing over it. Says the French Marquise, “My friends, you laugh too soon. That man ‘ll be on the winning side before any of us.”

  ‘“I did not know you were so fond of priests, Marquise,” says the Vicomte. His lady did my washing, as I’ve told you.

  ‘“I have my reasons,” says the Marquise. “He sent my uncle and my two brothers to Heaven by the little door,” — that was one of the emigre names for the guillotine. “He will be on the winning side if it costs him the blood of every friend he has in the world.”

  ‘“Then what does he want here?” says one of ‘em. “We have all lost our game.”

  ‘“My faith!” says the Marquise. “He will find out, if any one can, whether this canaille of a Washington means to help us to fight England. Genet” (that was my Ambassador in the Embuscade) “has failed and gone off disgraced; Faucher” (he was the new man) “hasn’t done any better, but our Abbe will find out, and he will make his profit out of the news. Such a man does not fall.”

  ‘“He begins unluckily,” says the Vicomte. “He was set upon today in the street for not hooting your Washington.” They all laughed again, and one remarks, “How does the poor devil keep himself?”

  ‘He must have slipped in through the washhouse door, for he flits past me and joins ‘em, cold as ice.

  ‘“One does what one can,” he says. “I sell buttons. And you, Marquise?”

  ‘“I?” — she waves her poor white hands all burned — ”I am a cook — a very bad one — at your service, Abbe. We were just talking about you.”

  They didn’t treat him like they talked of him. They backed off and stood still.

  ‘“I have missed something, then,” he says. “But I spent this last hour playing — only for buttons, Marquise — against a noble savage, the veritable Huron himself.”

  ‘“You had your usual luck, I hope?” she says.

  ‘“Certainly,” he says. “I cannot afford to lose even buttons in these days.”

  ‘“Then I suppose the child of nature does not know that your dice are usually loaded, Father Tout-a-tous,” she continues. I don’t know whether she meant to accuse him of cheating. He only bows. ‘“Not yet, Mademoiselle Cunegonde,” he says, and goes on to make himself agreeable to the rest of the company. And that was how I found out our Monsieur Peringuey was Count Charles Maurice Talleyrand de Perigord.’

  Pharaoh stopped, but the children said nothing.

  ‘You’ve heard of him?’ said Pharaoh.

  Una shook her head. ‘Was Red Jacket the Indian he played dice with?’ Dan asked.

  ‘He was. Red Jacket told me the next time we met. I asked if the lame man had cheated. Red Jacket said no — he had played quite fair and was a master player. I allow Red Jacket knew. I’ve seen him, on the Reservation, play himself out of everything he had and in again. Then I told Red Jacket all I’d heard at the party concerning Talleyrand.

  ‘“I was right,” he says. “I saw the man’s war-face when he thought he was alone. That’s why I played him. I played him face to face. He’s a great chief. Do they say why he comes here?”

  ‘“They say he comes to find out if Big Hand makes war against the English,” I said.

  ‘Red Jacket grunted. “Yes,” he says. “He asked me that too. If he had been a small chief I should have lied. But he is a great chief. He knew I was a chief, so I told him the truth. I told him what Big Hand said to Cornplanter and me in the clearing — ’There will be no war.’ I could not see what he thought. I could not see behind his face. But he is a great chief. He will believe.”

  ‘“Will he believe that Big Hand can keep his people back from war?” I said, thinking of the crowds that hooted Big Hand whenever he rode out.

  ‘“He is as bad as Big Hand is good, but he is not as strong as Big Hand,” says Red Jacket. “When he talks with Big Hand he will feel this in his heart. The French have sent away a great chief. Presently he will go back and make them afraid.”

  ‘Now wasn’t that comical? The French woman that knew him and owed all her losses to him; the Indian that picked him up, cut and muddy on the street, and played dice with him; they neither of ‘em doubted that Talleyrand was something by himself — appearances notwithstanding.’

  ‘And was he something by himself?’ asked Una.

  Pharaoh began to laugh, but stopped. ‘The way I look at it,’he said, ‘Talleyrand was one of just three men in this world who are quite by themselves. Big Hand I put first, because I’ve seen him.’ ‘Ay,’ said Puck. ‘I’m sorry we lost him out of Old England. Who d’you put second?’

  ‘Talleyrand: maybe because I’ve seen him too,’ said Pharaoh.

  ‘Who’s third?’said Puck.

  ‘Boney — even though I’ve seen him.’

  ‘Whew!’ said Puck. ‘Every man has his own weights and measures, but that’s queer reckoning.’ ‘Boney?’ said Una. ‘You don’t mean you’ve ever met Napoleon Bonaparte?’

  ‘There, I knew you wouldn’t have patience with the rest of my tale after hearing that! But wait a minute. Talleyrand he come round to Hundred and Eighteen in a day or two to thank Toby for his kindness. I didn’t mention the dice-playing, but I could see that Red Jacket’s doings had made Talleyrand highly curious about Indians — though he would call him the Huron. Toby, as you may believe, was all holds full of knowledge concerning their manners and habits. He only needed a listener. The Brethren don’t study Indians much till they join the Church, but Toby knew ‘em wild. So evening after evening Talleyrand crossed his sound leg over his game one and Toby poured forth. Having been adopted into the Senecas I, naturally, kept still, but Toby ‘ud call on me to back up some of his remarks, and by that means, and a habit he had of drawing you on in talk, Talleyrand saw I knew something of his noble savages too. Then he tried a trick. Coming back from an emigre party he turns into his little shop and puts it to me, laughing like, that I’d gone with the two chiefs o
n their visit to Big Hand. I hadn’t told. Red Jacket hadn’t told, and Toby, of course, didn’t know. ‘Twas just Talleyrand’s guess. “Now,” he says, “my English and Red Jacket’s French was so bad that I am not sure I got the rights of what the President really said to the unsophisticated Huron. Do me the favour of telling it again.” I told him every word Red Jacket had told him and not one word more. I had my suspicions, having just come from an emigre party where the Marquise was hating and praising him as usual.

  ‘“Much obliged,” he said. “But I couldn’t gather from Red Jacket exactly what the President said to Monsieur Genet, or to his American gentlemen after Monsieur Genet had ridden away.”

  ‘I saw Talleyrand was guessing again, for Red Jacket hadn’t told him a word about the white men’s pow-wow.’

  ‘Why hadn’t he?’ Puck asked.

  ‘Because Red Jacket was a chief. He told Talleyrand what the President had said to him and Cornplanter; but he didn’t repeat the talk, between the white men, that Big Hand ordered him to leave behind. ‘Oh!’ said Puck. ‘I see. What did you do?’

  ‘First I was going to make some sort of tale round it, but Talleyrand was a chief too. So I said, “As soon as I get Red Jacket’s permission to tell that part of the tale, I’ll be delighted to refresh your memory, Abbe.” What else could I have done?

  ‘“Is that all?” he says, laughing. “Let me refresh your memory. In a month from now I can give you a hundred dollars for your account of the conversation.”

  ‘“Make it five hundred, Abbe,” I says. ‘“Five, then,” says he.

  ‘“That will suit me admirably,” I says. “Red Jacket will be in town again by then, and the moment he gives me leave I’ll claim the money.”

  ‘He had a hard fight to be civil, but he come out smiling.

  ‘“Monsieur,” he says, “I beg your pardon as sincerely as I envy the noble Huron your loyalty. Do me the honour to sit down while I explain.”

  ‘There wasn’t another chair, so I sat on the button-box.

  ‘He was a clever man. He had got hold of the gossip that the President meant to make a peace treaty with England at any cost. He had found out — from Genet, I reckon, who was with the President on the day the two chiefs met him. He’d heard that Genet had had a huff with the President and had ridden off leaving his business at loose ends. What he wanted — what he begged and blustered to know — was just the very words which the President had said to his gentlemen after Genet had left, concerning the peace treaty with England. He put it to me that in helping him to those very words I’d be helping three great countries as well as mankind. The room was as bare as the palm of your hand, but I couldn’t laugh at him.

  ‘“I’m sorry,” I says, when he wiped his forehead. “As soon as Red Jacket gives permission — ”

  ‘“You don’t believe me, then?” he cuts in. ‘“Not one little, little word, Abbe,” I says; “except that you mean to be on the winning side. Remember, I’ve been fiddling to all your old friends for months.”

  ‘Well, then his temper fled him and he called me names.

  ‘“Wait a minute, ci-devant,” I says at last. “I am half English and half French, but I am not the half of a man. I will tell thee something the Indian told me. Has thee seen the President?”

  ‘“Oh yes!” he sneers. “I had letters from the Lord Lansdowne to that estimable old man.”

  ‘“Then,” I says, “thee will understand. The Red Skin said that when thee has met the President thee will feel in thy heart he is a stronger man than thee.”

  ‘“Go!” he whispers. “Before I kill thee, go.”

  ‘He looked like it. So I left him.’

  ‘Why did he want to know so badly?’ said Dan.

  ‘The way I look at it is that if he had known for certain that Washington meant to make the peace treaty with England at any price, he’d ha’ left old Faucher fumbling about in Philadelphia while he went straight back to France and told old Danton — ”It’s no good your wasting time and hopes on the United States, because she won’t fight on our side — that I’ve proof of!” Then Danton might have been grateful and given Talleyrand a job, because a whole mass of things hang on knowing for sure who’s your friend and who’s your enemy. Just think of us poor shop-keepers, for instance.’

  ‘Did Red Jacket let you tell, when he came back?’ Una asked.

  ‘Of course not. He said, “When Cornplanter and I ask you what Big Hand said to the whites you can tell the Lame Chief. All that talk was left behind in the timber, as Big Hand ordered. Tell the Lame Chief there will be no war. He can go back to France with that word.”

  ‘Talleyrand and me hadn’t met for a long time except at emigre parties. When I give him the message he just shook his head. He was sorting buttons in the shop.

  ‘“I cannot return to France with nothing better than the word of an unsophisticated savage,” he says.

  ‘“Hasn’t the President said anything to you?” I asked him.

  ‘“He has said everything that one in his position ought to say, but — but if only I had what he said to his Cabinet after Genet rode off I believe I could change Europe — the world, maybe.” ‘“I’m sorry,” I says. “Maybe you’ll do that without my help.”

  ‘He looked at me hard. “Either you have unusual observation for one so young, or you choose to be insolent,” he says.

  ‘“It was intended for a compliment,” I says. “But no odds. We’re off in a few days for our summer trip, and I’ve come to make my good-byes.”

  ‘“I go on my travels too,” he says. “If ever we meet again you may be sure I will do my best to repay what I owe you.”

  ‘“Without malice, Abbe, I hope,” I says.

  ‘“None whatever,” says he. “Give my respects to your adorable Dr Pangloss” (that was one of his side-names for Toby) “and the Huron.” I never could teach him the difference betwixt Hurons and Senecas.

  ‘Then Sister Haga came in for a paper of what we call “pilly buttons,” and that was the last I saw of Talleyrand in those parts.’

  ‘But after that you met Napoleon, didn’t you?’ said Una. ‘Wait Just a little, dearie. After that, Toby and I went to Lebanon and the Reservation, and, being older and knowing better how to manage him, I enjoyed myself well that summer with fiddling and fun. When we came back, the Brethren got after Toby because I wasn’t learning any lawful trade, and he had hard work to save me from being apprenticed to Helmbold and Geyer the printers. ‘Twould have ruined our music together, indeed it would. And when we escaped that, old Mattes Roush, the leather-breeches maker round the corner, took a notion I was cut out for skin-dressing. But we were rescued. Along towards Christmas there comes a big sealed letter from the Bank saying that a Monsieur Talleyrand had put five hundred dollars — a hundred pounds — to my credit there to use as I pleased. There was a little note from him inside — he didn’t give any address — to thank me for past kindnesses and my believing in his future, which he said was pretty cloudy at the time of writing. I wished Toby to share the money. I hadn’t done more than bring Talleyrand up to Hundred and Eighteen. The kindnesses were Toby’s. But Toby said, “No! Liberty and Independence for ever. I have all my wants, my son.” So I gave him a set of new fiddle-strings, and the Brethren didn’t advise us any more. Only Pastor Meder he preached about the deceitfulness of riches, and Brother Adam Goos said if there was war the English ‘ud surely shoot down the Bank. I knew there wasn’t going to be any war, but I drew the money out and on Red Jacket’s advice I put it into horse-flesh, which I sold to Bob Bicknell for the Baltimore stage-coaches. That way, I doubled my money inside the twelvemonth.’ ‘You gipsy! You proper gipsy!’ Puck shouted.

  ‘Why not? ‘Twas fair buying and selling. Well, one thing leading to another, in a few years I had made the beginning of a worldly fortune and was in the tobacco trade.’

  ‘Ah!’ said Puck, suddenly. ‘Might I inquire if you’d ever sent any news to your people in England — or in France?’
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  ‘O’ course I had. I wrote regular every three months after I’d made money in the horse trade. We Lees don’t like coming home empty-handed. If it’s only a turnip or an egg, it’s something. Oh yes, I wrote good and plenty to Uncle Aurette, and — Dad don’t read very quickly — Uncle used to slip over Newhaven way and tell Dad what was going on in the tobacco trade.’

  ‘I see —

  Aurettes and Lees —

  Like as two peas.

  Go on, Brother Square-toes,’ said Puck. Pharaoh laughed and went on.

  ‘Talleyrand he’d gone up in the world same as me. He’d sailed to France again, and was a great man in the Government there awhile, but they had to turn him out on account of some story about bribes from American shippers. All our poor emigres said he was surely finished this time, but Red Jacket and me we didn’t think it likely, not unless he was quite dead. Big Hand had made his peace treaty with Great Britain, just as he said he would, and there was a roaring trade ‘twixt England and the United States for such as ‘ud take the risk of being searched by British and French men-o’-war. Those two was fighting, and just as his gentlemen told Big Hand ‘ud happen — the United States was catching it from both. If an English man-o’-war met an American ship he’d press half the best men out of her, and swear they was British subjects. Most of ‘em was! If a Frenchman met her he’d, likely, have the cargo out of her, swearing it was meant to aid and comfort the English; and if a Spaniard or a Dutchman met her — they was hanging on to England’s coat-tails too — Lord only knows what they wouldn’t do! It came over me that what I wanted in my tobacco trade was a fast-sailing ship and a man who could be French, English, or American at a pinch. Luckily I could lay my hands on both articles. So along towards the end of September in the year ‘Ninety-nine I sailed from Philadelphia with a hundred and eleven hogshead o’ good Virginia tobacco, in the brig BERTHE AURETTE, named after Mother’s maiden name, hoping ‘twould bring me luck, which she didn’t — and yet she did.’