Complete Works of Rudyard Kipling (Illustrated)
Page 647
“Yes — me,” said Abanazar. “‘Twasn’t much, but after what you’ve said, Dicky, it was rather a coincidence, because I wired:
“‘Aladdin now has got his wife,
Your Emperor is appeased.
I think you’d better come to life:
We hope you’ve all been pleased.’
“Funny how that old song came up in my head. That was fairly non-committal and encouragin’. The only flaw was that his Emperor wasn’t appeased by very long chalks. Stalky extricated himself from his mountain fastnesses and leafed up to Simla at his leisure, to be offered up on the horns of the altar.”
“But,” I began, “surely the Commander-in-Chief is the proper — ”
“His Excellency had an idea that if he blew up one single junior captain — same as King used to blow us up — he was holdin’ the reins of empire, and, of course, as long as he had that idea, Von Lennaert encouraged him. I’m not sure Von Lennaert didn’t put that notion into his head.”
“They’ve changed the breed, then, since my time,” I said.
“P’r’aps. Stalky was sent up for his wiggin’ like a bad little boy. I’ve reason to believe that His Excellency’s hair stood on end. He walked into Stalky for one hour — Stalky at attention in the middle of the floor, and (so he vowed) Von Lennaert pretending to soothe down His Excellency’s topknot in dumb show in the background. Stalky didn’t dare to look up, or he’d have laughed.”
“Now, wherefore was Stalky not broken publicly?” said the Infant, with a large and luminous leer.
“Ah, wherefore?” said Abanazar. “To give him a chance to retrieve his blasted career, and not to break his father’s heart. Stalky hadn’t a father, but that didn’t matter. He behaved like a — like the Sanawar Orphan Asylum, and His Excellency graciously spared him. Then he came round to my office and sat opposite me for ten minutes, puffing out his nostrils. Then he said, ‘Pussy, if I thought that basket-hanger — ’”
“Hah! He remembered that,” said McTurk.
“‘That two-anna basket-hanger governed India, I swear I’d become a naturalized Muscovite to-morrow. I’m a femme incomprise. This thing’s broken my heart. It’ll take six months’ shootin’-leave in India to mend it. Do you think I can get it, Pussy?’
“He got it in about three minutes and a half, and seventeen days later he was back in the arms of Rutton Singh — horrid disgraced — with orders to hand over his command, etc., to Cathcart MacMonnie.”
“Observe!” said Dick Four. “One colonel of the Political Department in charge of thirty Sikhs, on a hilltop. Observe, my children!”
“Naturally, Cathcart not being a fool, even if he is a Political, let Stalky do his shooting within fifteen miles of Fort Everett for the next six months, and I always understood they and Rutton Singh and the prisoner were as thick as thieves. Then Stalky loafed back to his regiment, I believe. I’ve never seen him since.”
“I have, though,” said McTurk, swelling with pride.
We all turned as one man. “It was at the beginning of this hot weather. I was in camp in the Jullunder doab and stumbled slap on Stalky in a Sikh village; sitting on the one chair of state, with half the population grovellin’ before him, a dozen Sikh babies on his knees, an old harridan clappin’ him on the shoulder, and a garland o’ flowers round his neck. Told me he was recruitin’. We dined together that night, but he never said a word of the business at the Fort. Told me, though, that if I wanted any supplies I’d better say I was Koran Sahib’s bhai; and I did, and the Sikhs wouldn’t take my money.”
“Ah! That must have been one of Rutton Singh’s villages,” said Dick Four; and we smoked for some time in silence.
“I say,” said McTurk, casting back through the years, “did Stalky ever tell you how Rabbits-Eggs came to rock King that night?”
“No,” said Dick Four. Then McTurk told. “I see,” said Dick Four, nodding. “Practically he duplicated that trick over again. There’s nobody like Stalky.”
“That’s just where you make the mistake,” I said. “India’s full of Stalkies — Cheltenham and Haileybury and Marlborough chaps — that we don’t know anything about, and the surprises will begin when there is really a big row on.”
“Who will be surprised?” said Dick Four.
“The other side. The gentlemen who go to the front in first-class carriages. Just imagine Stalky let loose on the south side of Europe with a sufficiency of Sikhs and a reasonable prospect of loot. Consider it quietly.”
“There’s something in that, but you’re too much of an optimist, Beetle,” said the Infant.
“Well, I’ve a right to be. Ain’t I responsible for the whole thing? You needn’t laugh. Who wrote ‘Aladdin now has got his wife’ — eh?”
“What’s that got to do with it?” said Tertius.
“Everything,” said I.
“Prove it,” said the Infant.
And I have.
The Short Stories
Kipling and his wife Carrie, Loos 1922
CHRONOLOGICAL LIST OF SHORT STORIES
Please note: some stories appear more than once in the list due to being in more than one collection. To retain the collections’ original structures, duplicates have been left as they are.
THE PHANTOM RICKSHAW
THE STRANGE RIDE OF MORROWBIE JUKES
LISPETH.
THREE AND — AN EXTRA.
THROWN AWAY.
MISS YOUGHAL’S SAIS.
YOKED WITH AN UNBELIEVER.
FALSE DAWN.
THE RESCUE OF PLUFFLES.
CUPID’S ARROWS.
HIS CHANCE IN LIFE.
WATCHES OF THE NIGHT.
THE OTHER MAN.
CONSEQUENCES.
THE CONVERSION OF AURELIAN MCGOGGIN.
A GERM DESTROYER.
KIDNAPPED.
THE ARREST OF LIEUTENANT GOLIGHTLY.
THE HOUSE OF SUDDHOO
HIS WEDDED WIFE.
THE BROKEN LINK HANDICAPPED.
BEYOND THE PALE.
IN ERROR.
A BANK FRAUD.
TOD’S AMENDMENT.
IN THE PRIDE OF HIS YOUTH.
PIG.
THE ROUT OF THE WHITE HUSSARS.
THE BRONCKHORST DIVORCE-CASE.
VENUS ANNODOMINI.
THE BISARA OF POOREE.
THE GATE OF A HUNDRED SORROWS.
THE STORY OF MUHAMMAD DIN.
ON THE STRENGTH OF A LIKENESS.
WRESSLEY OF THE FOREIGN OFFICE.
BY WORD OF MOUTH.
TO BE HELD FOR REFERENCE.
THE GOD FROM THE MACHINE
OF THOSE CALLED
PRIVATE LEAROYD’S STORY
THE BIG DRUNK DRAF’
THE WRECK OF THE VISIGOTH
THE SOLID MULDOON
WITH THE MAIN GUARD
‘GUARRD, TURN OUT!’
GUARRD, TURN OUT!’
IN THE MATTER OF A PRIVATE
BLACK JACK
L’ENVOI
POOR DEAR MAMMA
THE WORLD WITHOUT
THE TENTS OF KEDAR
WITH ANY AMAZEMENT
THE GARDEN OF EDEN
FATIMA
THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW
THE SWELLING OF JORDAN
L’ENVOI
DRAY WARA YOW DEE
THE JUDGMENT OF DUNGARA
AT HOWLI THANA
GEMINI
AT TWENTY-TWO
IN FLOOD TIME
THE SENDING OF DANA DA
ON THE CITY WALL
‘LOVE-O’WOMEN’
THE BIG DRUNK DRAF’
THE MUTINEY OF THE MAVERICKS
THE MAN WHO WAS
ONLY A SUBALTERN
IN THE MATTER OF A PRIVATE
THE LOST LEGION
THE DRUMS OF THE FORE AND AFT
JUDSON AND THE EMPIRE
THE EDUCATION OF OTIS YEERE
AT THE PIT’S MOUTH
A WAYSIDE COMEDY
> THE HILL OF ILLUSION
A SECOND-RATE WOMAN
ONLY A SUBALTERN
IN THE MATTER OF A PRIVATE
THE ENLIGHTENMENTS OF PAGETT, M.P.
THE PHANTOM ‘RICKSHAW
MY OWN TRUE GHOST STORY
THE STRANGE RIDE OF MORROWBIE JUKES
THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING
“THE FINEST STORY IN THE WORLD”
WEE WILLIE WINKIE
BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP
HIS MAJESTY THE KING
THE DRUMS OF THE FORE AND AFT
PREFACE
THE LANG MEN O’ LARUT
REINGELDER AND THE GERMAN FLAG
THE WANDERING JEW
THROUGH THE FIRE
THE FINANCES OF THE GODS
THE AMIR’S HOMILY
JEWS IN SHUSHAN
THE LIMITATIONS OF PAMBE SERANG
LITTLE TOBRAH
BUBBLING WELL ROAD
‘THE CITY OF DREADFUL NIGHT’
GEORGIE PORGIE
NABOTH
THE DREAM OF DUNCAN PARRENNESS
THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY
THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD
ON GREENHOW HILL
THE MAN WHO WAS
THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT
WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY
AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE
THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS
THE MARK OF THE BEAST
THE RETURN OF IMRAY
NAMGAY DOOLA
BURTRAN AND BIMI
MOTI GUJ — MUTINEER
L’ENVOI
TO THE TRUE ROMANCE
THE DISTURBER OF TRAFFIC
A CONFERENCE OF THE POWERS
MY LORD THE ELEPHANT
ONE VIEW OF THE QUESTION
‘THE FINEST STORY IN THE WORLD’
HIS PRIVATE HONOUR
A MATTER OF FACT
THE LOST LEGION
IN THE RUKH
‘BRUGGLESMITH’
‘LOVE-O’-WOMEN’
THE RECORD OF BADALIA HERODSFOOT
JUDSON AND THE EMPIRE
THE CHILDREN OF THE ZODIAC
ANCHOR SONG
MOWGLI’S BROTHERS
HUNTING-SONG OF THE SEEONEE PACK
KAA’S HUNTING
ROAD-SONG OF THE BANDAR-LOG
“TIGER! TIGER!”
MOWGLI’S SONG
THE WHITE SEAL
LUKANNON
“RIKKI-TIKKI-TAVI”
DARZEE’S CHANT
TOOMAI OF THE ELEPHANTS
SHIV AND THE GRASSHOPPER
HER MAJESTY’S SERVANTS
PARADE-SONG OF THE CAMP ANIMALS
HOW FEAR CAME
THE LAW OF THE JUNGLE
THE MIRACLE OF PURUN BHAGAT
A SONG OF KABIR
LETTING IN THE JUNGLE
MOWGLI’S SONG AGAINST PEOPLE
THE UNDERTAKERS
A RIPPLE SONG
THE KING’S ANKUS
THE SONG OF THE LITTLE HUNTER
QUIQUERN
‘ANGUTIVAUN TAINA’
RED DOG
CHIL’S SONG
THE SPRING RUNNING
THE OUTSONG
THE BRIDGE-BUILDERS
A WALKING DELEGATE
THE SHIP THAT FOUND HERSELF
THE TOMB OF HIS ANCESTORS
THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA
WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR: PART I
WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR: PART II
THE MALTESE CAT
“BREAD UPON THE WATERS”
AN ERROR IN THE FOURTH DIMENSION
MY SUNDAY AT HOME
THE BRUSHWOOD BOY
STALKY & CO.
“IN AMBUSH.”
SLAVES OF THE LAMP: PART I.
AN UNSAVORY INTERLUDE.
THE IMPRESSIONISTS.
THE MORAL REFORMERS.
A LITTLE PREP.
THE FLAG OF THEIR COUNTRY.
THE LAST TERM.
SLAVES OF THE LAMP: PART II.
HOW THE WHALE GOT HIS THROAT
HOW THE CAMEL GOT HIS HUMP
HOW THE RHINOCEROS GOT HIS SKIN
HOW THE LEOPARD GOT HIS SPOTS
THE ELEPHANT’S CHILD
THE SING-SONG OF OLD MAN KANGAROO
THE BEGINNING OF THE ARMADILLOS
HOW THE FIRST LETTER WAS WRITTEN
HOW THE ALPHABET WAS MADE
THE CRAB THAT PLAYED WITH THE SEA
THE CAT THAT WALKED BY HIMSELF
THE BUTTERFLY THAT STAMPED
THE CAPTIVE
POSEIDON’S LAW
THE BONDS OF DISCIPLINE
THE RUNNERS
A SAHIBS’ WAR
THE WET LITANY
“THEIR LAWFUL OCCASIONS”
THE KING’S TASK
THE COMPREHENSION OF PRIVATE COPPER
STEAM TACTICS
THE NECESSITARIAN
“WIRELESS”
KASPAR’S SONG IN VARDA
SONG OF THE OLD GUARD
THE ARMY OF A DREAM
“THEY”
THE RETURN OF THE CHILDREN
MRS. BATHURST
“OUR FATHERS ALSO”
BELOW THE MILL DAM
WELAND’S SWORD
A TREE SONG
YOUNG MEN AT THE MANOR
SIR RICHARD’S SONG
HARP SONG OF THE DANE WOMEN
THE KNIGHTS OF THE JOYOUS VENTURE
THORKILD’S SONG
OLD MEN AT PEVENSEY
THE RUNES ON WELAND’S SWORD
A CENTURION OF THE THIRTIETH
A BRITISH-ROMAN SONG (A.D. 406)
ON THE GREAT WALL
A SONG TO MITHRAS
THE WINGED HATS
A PICT SONG
HAL O’ THE DRAFT
A SMUGGLERS’ SONG
THE BEE BOY’S SONG
‘DYMCHURCH FLIT’
A THREE-PART SONG
SONG OF THE FIFTH RIVER
THE TREASURE AND THE LAW
THE CHILDREN’S SONG
AN HABITATION ENFORCED
THE RECALL
GARM — A HOSTAGE
THE POWER OF THE DOG
THE MOTHER HIVE
THE BEES AND THE FLIES
WITH THE NIGHT MAIL
A STORY OF 2000 A. D.
THE FOUR ANGELS
A DEAL IN COTTON
THE NEW KNIGHTHOOD
THE PUZZLER
LITTLE FOXES
GALLIO’S SONG
THE HOUSE SURGEON
THE RABBI’S SONG
ERASTASIUS OF THE WHANGHOA
HER LITTLE RESPONSIBILITY
A MENAGERIE ABOARD
A SMOKE OF MANILA
THE RED LAMP
THE SHADOW OF HIS HAND
A LITTLE MORE BEEF
THE HISTORY OF A FALL
GRIFFITHS THE SAFE MAN
IT!
A FALLEN IDOL
NEW BROOMS
TIGLATH PILESER
THE LIKES O’ US
HIS BROTHER’S KEEPER
“SLEIPNER,” LATE “THURINDA”
A SUPPLEMENTARY CHAPTER
CHATAUQUAED
THE BOW FLUME CABLE-CAR
IN PARTIBUS
LETTERS ON LEAVE
THE ADORATION OF THE MAGE
A DEATH IN THE CAMP
A REALLY GOOD TIME
ON EXHIBITION
THE THREE YOUNG MEN
MY GREAT AND ONLY
“THE BETRAYAL OF CONFIDENCES”
THE NEW DISPENSATION — I
THE NEW DISPENSATION — II
THE LAST OF THE STORIES
A CHARM
INTRODUCTION
COLD IRON
GLORIANA
THE LOOKING-GLASS
THE WRONG THING
MARKLAKE WITCHES
THE KNIFE AND THE NAKED CHALK
BROTHER SQUARE-TOES
‘A PRIEST IN SPITE OF HIMSELF’
> THE CONVERSION OF ST WILFRID
A DOCTOR OF MEDICINE
SIMPLE SIMON
THE TREE OF JUSTICE
AS EASY AS A.B.C.
FRIENDLY BROOK
IN THE SAME BOAT
THE HONOURS OF WAR
THE DOG HERVEY
THE VILLAGE THAT VOTED THE EARTH WAS FLAT
IN THE PRESENCE
REGULUS
A TRANSLATION
THE EDGE OF THE EVENING
THE HORSE MARINES
‘MY SON’S WIFE’
THE VORTEX
‘SWEPT AND GARNISHED’
MARY POSTGATE
WINNING THE VICTORIA CROSS
THE WAY THAT HE TOOK
AN UNQUALIFIED PILOT
HIS GIFT
THE MASTER-COOK
“STALKY”
THE HOUR OF THE ANGEL
THE LAST LAP
THE PARABLE OF BOY JONES
A DEPARTURE
THE BOLD ‘PRENTICE
THE NURSES
THE SON OF HIS FATHER
AN ENGLISH SCHOOL
A COUNTING-OUT SONG
THE ENEMIES TO EACH OTHER
WITH APOLOGIES TO THE SHADE OF MIRZA MIRKHOND
THE CHANGELINGS
SEA CONSTABLES
A TALE OF ‘15
THE VINEYARD
‘BANQUET NIGHT’
‘IN THE INTERESTS OF THE BRETHREN’
TO THE COMPANIONS
THE UNITED IDOLATERS
THE CENTAURS
‘LATE CAME THE GOD’
THE WISH HOUSE
RAHERE
THE SURVIVAL
THE JANEITES
JANE’S MARRIAGE
THE PORTENT
THE PROPHET AND THE COUNTRY
GOW’S WATCH
THE BULL THAT THOUGHT
ALNASCHAR AND THE OXEN
GIPSY VANS
A MADONNA OF THE TRENCHES
GOW’S WATCH
THE BIRTHRIGHT
THE PROPAGATION OF KNOWLEDGE
A LEGEND OF TRUTH
A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY
WE AND THEY
ON THE GATE
A TALE OF ‘16
THE SUPPORTS
UNTIMELY
THE EYE OF ALLAH
THE LAST ODE
THE GARDENER
THE BURDEN
‘THY SERVANT A DOG’
THE GREAT PLAY HUNT
TOBY DOG
THE SUPPLICATION OF THE BLACK ABERDEEN
A SEA DOG
HIS APOLOGIES
‘TEEM’: A TREASURE-HUNTER
DAYSPRING MISHANDLED
GERTRUDE’S PRAYER
DINAH IN HEAVEN
THE WOMAN IN HIS LIFE
FOUR-FEET
THE TOTEM
THE TIE
THE CHURCH THAT WAS AT ANTIOCH
THE DISCIPLE
THE PLAYMATE
AUNT ELLEN
NAAMAN’S SONG
THE MOTHER’S SON
FAIRY-KIST
THE COINER
A NAVAL MUTINY
THE DEBT