The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes

by Jennifer Crusie

  Lizzie glanced down at Elric, who’d rolled on his side to look at her, a faint smile on his mouth as he tugged at the hem of the silk nightgown. ‘I know this is upsetting for you but…’ she said lamely.

  ‘Why would your choice of nightgown upset me?’ Dee said.

  Lizzie gave Elric another confused look, but he simply smiled and shrugged, saying nothing, although his hand was touching her foot beneath the silk, and she could feel the tremor of response dance across her skin. And then she felt a flash of relief. Dee couldn’t see Elric lying in her sister’s bed. As far as she could tell, Lizzie was simply sitting alone in an inappropriate nightgown.

  ‘It’s time to talk about Xan,’ Dee said.

  ‘Xan?’ Lizzie echoed absently. Why was he touching her when he knew there was nothing she could do about it? She couldn’t respond as some dark, secret part of her wanted to, she couldn’t slap him away without Dee noticing. All she could do was sit there and shiver in delicious anticipation.

  ‘Did you see her? You shivered. You saw her.’

  ‘No, no,’ Lizzie said.

  ‘Well, come out for breakfast,’ Dee said. ‘It’s time for the vote.’

  ‘We voted yesterday’ she protested.

  ‘Somebody told Xan we’re here, and we need to get the heck out of Dodge.’

  Instinctively Lizzie glanced down at the man in her bed. His hand froze, his beautiful face an unreadable mask, and she knew who had betrayed them.

  She scrambled out of bed, jerking the quilt with her to wrap around her. Elric lay back under the sheet.

  ‘It’s okay, Lizzie,’ Dee said. ‘Just get dressed, and we can decide what we’re going to do. Not that there’s much to decide, apart from which piece of jewelry…’ Dee’s eyes widened. ‘What are you wearing? What’s that around your neck?’

  Lizzie had forgotten all about the Borgia pendant that Elric had placed around her neck just before he’d kissed her. It lay between her breasts, a comforting weight against her heart, and she knew it belonged there.

  Just as a beautiful, treacherous creature like Elric belonged in her bed. She was going out of her mind -she must be. She started to pull off the pendant, but he sat up, reaching out and covering her hand, stopping her. ‘Liz, what’s going on?’ Dee said.

  Lizzie shook her head. ‘I’ll be out in a minute – we can talk about it then.’

  Dee looked surprised and not pleased, but she shut the door, and Lizzie flinched automatically before realizing that she wasn’t feeling her usual emotions of dread and disaster. She was going to leave the room, and Dee and Mare were going to fight, and then there’d be shoes and bunnies and wildlife everywhere.

  But right now the only wildlife in the room was in her bed, watching her warily.

  ‘Xan sent you,’ she said.

  He seemed totally unmoved by her accusation. ‘I was planning on coming here anyway – she just pointed me in the right direction. Someone needed to stop you from making such a mess of things.’

  She had no words for him, none that she was comfortable using. Mare could have told him off – Lizzie just wanted to cry.

  She wasn’t going to let that happen, not in front of him. Nor was she going to strip off her clothes so he could watch. She grabbed her discarded clothes without another word and disappeared into the workroom, tripping over a new pair of shoes. High-heeled sandals with gold coins dripping off the ankle band – both tacky and charming. She didn’t bother to look too closely – if the coins were real gold and she’d somehow managed to transmute something into the precious stuff, she didn’t want to know. She was too overwhelmed.

  When she came back through the bedroom he was nowhere in sight. It was only a small relief – he wasn’t gone forever. The bed was made, the deep purple sheets smooth and inviting. He should have changed them back, but then, Dee had probably seen them, even if she hadn’t seen the naked man lying beneath them. She could feel the pendant against her skin, even through the layers of clothing, and its slow pulse calmed her. Calmed her enough to face the calamity her life had become overnight.

  When Lizzie walked into the dining room, Mare was sitting at the end of the table with Pywackt in her lap and a cup of coffee cradled in her hands, looking like her last friend had just died. She looked up when Lizzie sat down. ‘So who’s this Elric? I’m all for him, I’m just curious. The roof over your workroom was practically bouncing last night.’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ Lizzie said. There was just the hint of defiance in her voice, and she hoped neither of her sisters would notice that the sweet little peacekeeper was developing a backbone.

  It was a vain hope. ‘You sure you’re okay, Lizzie?’ Dee said, coming in from the kitchen, coffee mug in hand. ‘It’s not like you to sleep late. And why did you take the Borgia pendant from the jewelry case?’

  Lizzie took a deep breath to steady herself, answering the easy part. ‘The jewelry belongs to the three of us, and this particular piece belongs to me.’

  Dee looked as if one of Lizzie’s bunnies had turned around and bitten her. I’m pretty sure that needs to be the next piece to go-’

  ‘It’s not going anywhere,’ Lizzie said. ‘It’s mine.’

  ‘Lizzie, do you know how much that piece is worth?’ Dee said.

  ‘I don’t care. You can do what you want with the rest of the stuff – I don’t need any of it. I can take care of myself. I should have had this years ago – it was supposed to be mine.’ There was something about Dee’s distracted behavior that alerted her. ‘It was, wasn’t it?’

  Dee sighed. ‘Honey, it was in mother’s jewelry box-’

  ‘But it was supposed to go to me.’

  Dee rubbed her forehead. ‘Xan said you should have it, but as far as I knew, it was a trick, maybe some way to track us.’

  ‘That’s fair,’ Mare said, watching both of them with melancholy interest. ‘But you should have told us what Xan said.’

  Lizzie nodded. ‘Or if it’s dangerous, you should have gotten rid of it years ago.’

  Dee sat back, clearly upset. ‘I tried. I even threw it in the Pacific Ocean one year. It just kept ending up back in the jewelry box.’

  ‘Well, if that’s where it’s supposed to be, then it will be there.’ Lizzie sat at the opposite end of the table. ‘Somebody tried to steal it yesterday, too, and that didn’t work, either. Maxine even tried to take it for some fund, but it’s still with me. It belongs with me.’

  ‘Maxine was collecting for charity?’ Mare said. ‘What is the world coming to? But the signs are clear. The amethyst belongs to Liz.’

  Lizzie looked at Dee. Are you going to call the meeting to order?’

  Dee looked uncertain. It wasn’t an expression Lizzie was used to seeing on her practical older sister’s face, as if Dee’s entire universe had shifted unexpectedly. Just as Lizzie’s had.

  ‘Let me just get the jewelry box…’ Dee said.

  ‘Dee, don’t bother,’ Mare said tiredly. ‘It’s a waste of time. Just call the vote and get it over with.’

  Dee sat down. ‘Well, Xan has found us. I’m afraid it’s time to leave. I’m sorry but I vote yes, we go.’

  Mare nodded, all fight gone. ‘As long as I’m in Salem’s Fork, I’ll never get over Crash. I vote yes, we go.’

  Dee looked over at her. ‘No Italy?’ she asked gently.

  ‘Nope.’

  Dee patted her hand. ‘Lizzie?’

  They both turned to look at her, only a formality, since sweet, spacey Lizzie avoided conflict like the plague.

  But sweet, spacey Lizzie had changed. She felt the amethyst throb against her heart, and she lifted her head to look at them squarely.

  ‘I vote no.’

  Lizzie could feel her sisters’ amazement, but she wasn’t about to back down. ‘I’m tired of running,’ she said. ‘I’m not a frightened child anymore. I like it here, and I’m not going to let anyone drive me away.’

  Mare blinked at her. ‘Lizzie?’

&nbs
p; Lizzie stared back at her, implacable.

  Mare looked at Dee. ‘We’re not leaving Lizzie.’

  ‘Listen to me,’ Dee said to Lizzie. ‘We cannot stay here. We don’t even have a plan!’

  ‘Then we’ll come up with one,’ Lizzie said, and her voice didn’t waver.

  Mare tilted her head at Lizzie. ‘Something’s new.’

  Dee put her hands on the table. ‘You’re damn right something’s new. We’re in danger. There’s something about this time that’s different. Worse.’

  Lizzie folded her arms, unmoving.

  Dee took a deep breath. ‘Okay, we’re not leaving. Let’s think this through. Xan sent Danny James, and we know she deals in men and sex so he’s probably not the only one. Who else is new in town besides Danny?’

  Mare put her chin in her hand. ‘Jude the VP from Value Video!! I already have my suspicions about him, but he’s dumb as pond scum, so I don’t see him as a major threat. And Crash, but I can’t see Crash and Xan plotting together. She’d hate the motorcycle.’

  Lizzie felt Dee’s bright green eyes turn in her direction. ‘Lizzie?’

  She couldn’t lie about Elric. Not now, not to her sisters. But she had no intention of sitting there and having them pepper her with a thousand questions about him, particularly when she had no answers, particularly after she’d just called the shots in her family for the first time in twenty-six years, something that would have made her giddy with power if the responsibility hadn’t been so terrifying.

  ‘What about Charles?’ Dee said.

  ‘It can’t be Charles,’ Mare said. ‘He’s gone.’

  ‘Gone?’ Lizzie echoed, astonished.

  ‘Pauline said he decided to move to Alaska. Quit his job yesterday afternoon and took off. And nobody has missed him.’

  ‘Well, hallelujah,’ Dee muttered into her coffee cup.

  Lizzie knew who she could thank for Charles’s unexpected disappearance. One more thing her mysterious visitor would have to answer for. Who the hell did he think he was, sending the man she loved… no, she didn’t really love him, but the man she was going to marry… no, she wasn’t going to marry him, either. And this way she didn’t have to tell Charles anything, which was a blessing. He’d dumped her for a magic spell and Alaska.

  ‘Maybe we need to talk about Elric,’ Mare said, with her usual tact.

  ‘Who the heck is Elric?’ Dee said.

  Lizzie stood up. ‘Someone I need to have a little talk with. And that’s all I’m saying. You two should probably talk to your… whatever they are. And don’t overlook Crash -there’s more to him than you might expect. We could come back, pool our information, and see what we can come up with. Find a way to fight back.’

  ‘Fight back?’ Mare said, interested. ‘You’re going to fight back? Go, Lizzie!’

  ‘But-’ Dee said, for the first time outmaneuvered by her younger sisters.

  ‘It’s a plan, Dee,’ Lizzie said firmly. ‘We’ll meet for lunch and compare notes.’

  ‘I’ll ask Crash why he picked now to come to Salem’s Fork,’ Mare said as she stood up. ‘And I will beat some answers out of that little toad Jude, but then I’m taking an early lunch break at Mother’s Tattoos. I’ll meet you there.’

  She headed for the stairs and Dee called after her, ‘You get any more tattoos, you’re gonna look like a biker!’

  ‘What’s wrong with bikers?’ Lizzie said.

  Dee didn’t look happy. ‘I guess I’m going to find out. Where are you going?’

  ‘I’m staying put.’

  ‘But you haven’t told me about this Elric person…’

  ‘He’ll come to me,’ Lizzie said in a dangerous voice. ‘And he’s going to wish he hadn’t.’

  No shoes. No bunnies, ferrets, or wisps of purple fog, she thought, heading back to her supposedly deserted bedroom. Just one extremely pissed-off Miss Fortune, about to find out what the hell was going on. And maybe see whether she’d gotten good enough to turn a wizard into a frog.

  They were staying. Dee should have been terrified. She should have been grabbing her sisters by whatever body part she could reach and dragging their asses out the front door so fast they left a dust cloud. And oh, yeah. She was terrified. She knew better than anyone just what they were up against. The truth? Xan could crunch them like cockroaches. And she didn’t even have to show up to do it.

  But, God. Dee’d been wanting to face off with that pernicious bitch as long as she could remember. She’d had the girls to think of, though. She’d had her mother looking at her with those big Lizzie eyes of hers, begging Dee to protect them.

  Seemed she didn’t have to anymore. At least not alone. So no matter what, it was time to put on her big-girl panties and get on with it. For a second, Dee actually managed a smile. She damn near giggled. Until she remembered just what she had to do to get to that face-off.

  She’d thought she’d never have to see him again. That as bad as last night had been, she could be safely away long before he came to demand explanations. She should have known better. Ever since Danny James had knocked on their door, nothing had gone the way it should.

  Yanking on her gray cardigan and grabbing her purse off the table, she turned for the door. ‘All right, then,’ she said with forced bravado, let’s get this over with.’

  She should have known. She threw the door open, ready to march out like Carrie Nation in search of a saloon, only to be stopped dead in her tracks.

  ‘Oh, good,’ he said, standing on her porch in his white T-shirt and bomber jacket and jeans. ‘I hoped you’d be home.’

  Dee knew she was probably goggling at him. But what did you say to the most handsome man in the world, whom you’d run from the night before? Sorry. I wasn’t sure how well you liked your mother? No. Too much to explain. It was better this way? Not that, either. Dee decided she wasn’t the Casablanca type.

  ‘Yes,’ was all she could come up with. ‘Here I am.’

  She couldn’t take her eyes off him. Those wonderful, water-clear eyes, that chiseled chin and the glint of silver above his T-shirt. The easy, comfortable-with-myself, happy-to-see-you stance that made people smile and set her palms to sweating. She couldn’t breathe again. She could never seem to breathe around him.

  She’d run from him last night. She’d have to do it again soon or lose her mind altogether. But not right now. Now she had a mission. Yeah. That’s all it was. A mission for her sisters.

  He was smiling. Of course he was. ‘May I come in?’ Dee blanked. ‘Uh, no.’

  He looked over her shoulder, as if expecting a parent with a shotgun. ‘Well, can you come out?’

  She fortified herself with a breath. ‘Why, yes,’ she said, closing the door behind her. ‘I can. I need to talk to you.’

  ‘Funny. I was just about to say that very thing.’

  Dee tried to smile, but she knew it looked stupid. She swore her heart could be heard down the block, it was beating so hard. And it was fragile enough right now that she feared serious injury. ‘Um, there’s a garden bench in the back.’

  ‘Perfect,’ he said. ‘I love sitting in a jungle on a nice day.’

  They did have to wade through a veritable sea of rhododendrons, wisteria, and lilac to get to a bench, and Dee caught sight of Pywackt prowling in the shadows like the predator he was. But the garden was out of sight of the street. On the other hand, she’d be isolated with Danny James where every sharp memory from the night before would hover between them. What a choice.

  Dee was about to sit down on the cedar bench when Danny held her back. Dee jumped at his touch. Hot, sharp, sweet. God, she was going to have to get what she needed from him and run like a coward. She looked over at him, but he just held up a hand. Then, pulling a handkerchief, of all things, from his back pocket, he bent to wipe the fallen petals and pollen from the bench. Dee’s breath simply left her body.

  He turned, held out his hand, guided her to her seat. Dee couldn’t take her eyes from him. It was such a simple th
ing, a gift of courtesy. But it made her want to cry. Nobody ever thought to do for Dee O’Brien. Dee knew it was because of the face she put on, that she was in charge, in control. But Danny had done this little thing anyway, and that perilously fragile heart that had been in such danger simply failed.

  Oh, she thought, gazing up at him like a besotted girl as he settled in next to her. She could so fall in love with him.

  Then he sat down himself. ‘I have a message from your aunt.’

  Well, so much for fantasies. ‘Pardon?’

  He pulled out his keys and started playing with them, a sure sign of discomfort. Oh, no. Oh, no, no. Her poor, sore heart.

  ‘I talked to her.’

  Dee pulled herself up, as if posture were protection. ‘I gathered that.’

  He nodded, still not facing her. ‘I know you think she’s-’

  ‘The spawn of Satan? The inspiration for every succubus in history?’

  That got a grin out of him. ‘I really wish you had an opinion on anything, Dee.’

  Oh, don’t be charming. That makes it worse. ‘What did she say?’

  He was at the keys again, so that they jangled. He kept that up, he’d end up with Pywackt in his face.

  ‘Your aunt wants to meet with you.’

  Worse and worse. ‘I bet she does. And when does she get in from Santa Fe?’

  ‘Uh…’ Danny James couldn’t seem to keep a secret to save his life.

  Dee lurched to her feet. ‘Oh, my God. You’ve seen her’

  ‘Well, yeah. She’s at the Lighthorse.’

  Dee didn’t say another word. Shoving wisteria aside like an advancing defensive line, she turned and stalked off. She didn’t even get past the front gate before Danny caught up with her.

  ‘I really wish you’d stop doing that,’ he said, trying to hold her back.

  She batted his hand away. ‘I have to see my aunt.’

  Danny took her arm. ‘Well, that was the point of the visit. But she wants to see all three of you.’

  Dee tried to pull away, and found that she couldn’t fight hard enough. Suddenly the smell of lilac was cloying, and she hated it. ‘No,’ she said. ‘She sees me or she sees no one.’