A Knight In Cowboy Boots

by Quint, Suzie

  “Long live the buckle bunnies,” Zach held out his paper cup full of beer. Jake bumped it gently with his own.

  “Do I need to worry?” Maddie asked before she could stop herself.

  “About them?”

  Maddie grimaced. She had no right to ask the question when she wasn’t staying. “Never mind. I don’t know what made me even ask that.”

  Zach’s arms wrapped around her. “I know what made you ask. It’s okay. I wouldn’t much care for it if you was to start looking at some other cowboy. And no, you ain’t got to worry. I’m bright enough to learn from other folks’ mistakes.”

  “Zach—” Daisy interrupted. “There’s Becky Sue. Can I go watch the rodeo with her? Please?”

  “You’ll stay where we can see you?”

  “I promise.”

  “Don’t you conveniently forget or I’ll come get you, and I ain’t shy about embarrassing you in front of your friends.”

  Daisy grimaced. “I’ll stay where you can see me,” she promised again.

  “Go then.”

  Daisy practically vaulted over Jake’s knees in her rush to get off the bleachers.

  “She does better on a short leash,” Jake observed.

  Maddie had to agree but she wasn’t ready to let Zach’s ambiguous statement go unexplored. “What mistakes did you mean?”

  Zach bent so that his eyes were on the same level as hers. “You see that girl there?”

  Maddie’s gaze followed his discreetly pointed finger.

  Like the two girls who had just passed them, the woman had long blonde hair and was dressed in western attire. Maddie guessed her to be in her late twenties. She was what men meant when they called a woman “stacked.” The woman was standing on one of the rungs that barred the spectators from the ring, leaning out over the top rung, pumping a fist with each voiced whoop, encouraging the girl rounding the barrels. The girls Jake and Zach had watched appreciatively looked like they should be handmaidens to this golden goddess.

  “About ten years ago, she was my sister-in-law for about six and a half seconds.”

  Maddie leaned sideways to get enough distance to look quizzically at Zach. “What?”

  “What he means,” Jake said, “is that Sol was married to her for about six weeks.”

  “Six weeks? Did they have to get married?”

  “Nope,” Zach said. “They just got a wild hair and drove to Nevada and got hitched. She filed for divorce six weeks later.”

  “You see that girl over there?” Jake pointed to the end of the arena where the rodeo queen was talking to a young girl also in western attire.

  Maddie looked across the ring and saw a girl of about ten.

  “Georgia wasn’t pregnant when they got married, but she was when they got divorced. Course she didn’t know it at the time.”

  “So that’s your niece.”

  “Yup,” Zach said. “That’s Eden, Mamma’s only grandchild.”

  “Wow!” Maddie said.“How long did they date before they got married?”

  “Not sure you’d ever call what they did dating,” Zach said.

  “And you think you’ve learned from your brother’s mistake?” Maddie asked skeptically.

  “Yup. I don’t go around knocking up buckle bunnies.”

  To Maddie’s mind, Zach was drawing a very fine line. “Are you sure you’re not making the same mistake with me?”

  Zach scooted up close behind her and put his lips next to her ear. “I’m willing to risk it.” With his hands on either side of her neck and his thumbs against her jaw line, he tipped her head back and kissed her mouth.

  When he let her go, he dropped his face into her neck and inhaled deeply. Maddie felt herself go red.

  The crowd’s interest sharpened when the barrel racing ended. The last thing on the program was the bull riding. As a finale, no other event could beat it.

  Zach moved into the space Daisy had abandoned. “Which bull did Sol pull?”

  “Jack’s Daniel,” Jake said.

  “He might get a good ride then.”

  Bull riding was always a few seconds of high excitement followed by a lot of waiting. Knowing that, Maddie perused the crowd, watching the fans interact. Zach elbowed her in the ribs just as the chute gate opened on the first bull, pulling her attention back to the action.

  The rider started out well but six seconds into the ride, he lost his seat and went over the side. The crowd groaned, then gasped as the bull spun, his head down. He caught the cowboy still on the ground. The blunted horns came up, catching the rider’s arm. The crowd gasped as the cowboy’s feet lifted a couple of feet off the ground.

  A bullfighter dashed in, grabbed the free horn, and jerked the bull’s head around. Distracted by this new irritant, the bull turned his attention away from the cowboy. The brightly dressed bullfighters tag-teamed for the bull’s attention until they could get him out of the arena.

  The rider’s fellow cowboys ran to him. They held him down for a few moments, assuring themselves he was all right. Or at least as sound as anyone had a right to expect after such an encounter with a fifteen hundred pound bull.

  The crowd cheered when the cowboy walked out of the arena, clutching his arm.

  “And that’s what I don’t want,” Zach said. “A bull that goes after a downed rider.”

  When the next bull left the chute, he said hello and goodbye to the cowboy on the first kick.

  Their brother came up next.

  The bull lunged out of the chute and started spinning and kicking. The first six and a half seconds looked as much like a cake walk as any bull ride could, then at seven and a quarter seconds, the bull changed directions, and Zach’s brother slid off into the vortex in the center of the bull’s spin, that dangerous place riders called the well.

  “Damn,” Jake and Zach said in unison.

  The bullfighters, who in Maddie’s childhood had simply been rodeo clowns, were there, distracting the bull, before Sol even hit the ground.

  Maddie could almost hear Zach’s brother echo their sentiment as he slapped his cowboy hat against his chaps before walking out of the arena. All Maddie could really say about him was that he had the same lean build as his brothers, but she’d known a few bull riders in Wyoming. They were a tough breed with well-developed strength, coordination, and balance, and in her opinion, an insane need to test themselves against a two-thousand pound animal who’d just as happily stomp their head in as find a trough full of hay. In some worlds, that was called courage.

  “When does Applejack come up?” Zach asked.

  “A couple more bulls,” Jake answered.

  The next two riders both made the eight second buzzer. After each ride, Zach ventured his opinion of what each go-around was worth. He came within two points of the judges’ score for each ride. Not bad on a one hundred point scale.

  Zach leaned forward, his elbows braced on his knees. His hands, one folded over the other, supported his chin. When Applejack burst out of the chute, Zach’s eyes focused on the bull to the exclusion of everything, even Maddie.

  The rider did a good job, almost reclining on the bull when it kicked his hind legs. At about six seconds, the rider lost his center of balance and it became a race: would he fall off before the buzzer sounded?

  When the buzzer sounded, he still had enough control of his situation to slide off the back. The bull kicked as he spun, his rear hooves arching over the rider’s head. The cowboy beat a hasty retreat to the arena fence as the bullfighters moved in.

  “Eighty-three,” Zach said, still focused on the bull.

  The judges scored the ride as eighty-four.

  “Not a bad ride,” Jake said. “What do you think?”

  “Well, since Sol’s so hot for him, I guess we could make an offer. If the PBR scout don’t pick him up, we just might have ourselves a bull.”

  “You wanna find the owner tonight?”

  “Tomorrow’s soon enough. He won’t want to deal ‘til he sees if the PBR scou
t looks interested.” He turned to Maddie. “You ready to go?”

  “We’re not going to stay for the rest?” Maddie asked.

  “I got more fun rides in mind,” Zach murmured into her ear.

  “Zach!” She pulled away.

  “Can I help it if you’re more fun than a merry-go-round?” He leaned close. “You can ride me if you want. I promise it’ll last more than eight seconds.”

  *

  Later, as they lay in bed, sated from the ride they’d taken together, Zach asked, “Am I a hypocrite, Maddie?”

  She lifted her head from his chest to look at him. “What do you mean?”

  “Wanting you like I do. Taking you any chance I get. Telling Daisy she can’t do the same.”

  “No, you’re not a hypocrite.” Maddie laid her head back down. “Daisy’s a sixteen year old girl. She still believes happily-ever-after is inevitable.” She couldn’t help thinking of her sister and how she’d still believed that when she met Derek. “You can screw your life up pretty badly believing that.”

  “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

  “I know.” Maddie curled a strand of Zach’s chest hair around her finger. “And someday she’ll understand that, too. Probably sooner than you think.”

  “In the meantime, I’m just her mean, dunderheaded brother who’s trying to keep her from being happy.”

  “If it’s any consolation, you make me happy.”

  “Do I?”

  She lifted her head again. His eyes seemed to be seeking something more than just a sop to his ego.

  “What do you think?”

  “I think I satisfy you. But is that enough to make you happy?”

  Maddie’s heart twisted in her chest. Why did he have to ask this now? She wanted to tell him how safe and secure he made her feel, maybe even loved, but even if they’d had a shot at the future, she would have shied away from telling him that. She couldn’t say any of those things; when she left, he’d doubt anything she told him. She couldn’t damage him like that.

  Instead, she said, “Right now, in this minute, there’s nothing you could do that would make me happier than I already am.”

  Zach wrapped his arms tight around her and hugged her close. When he eased the pressure, he kissed her. “Maddie, I think I’m—”

  Maddie had a horrible premonition that he was going say he loved her. She put her fingers over his lips. “Shh. Not yet.”

  Vince had loved her and he had died; she couldn’t let Zach say those words to her. Not ever.

  *

  Maddie blamed her dream of Vince on her fear of what Zach had almost said. As was so often the case, the dream story was nonlinear, but Maddie had had it several times since Zach had awakened her grief for Vince, so she knew, even in her dream state, that it culminated with Vince dying at Derek’s hands. This time, through some Hollywood B-movie effects, Vince and Zach morphed back and forth, terrifying Maddie more than usual.

  Jesse saved her from the ending, waking her just as the sun was cresting the horizon. Attuned as she was to his morning cry, she had him out of the crib before he woke Zach.

  Maddie threw on Zach’s discarded T-shirt, grateful for its length, and fed Jesse his breakfast. When he finished, she took him into their bed, but she was too afraid of the dream returning to doze off again. Instead, she played quietly with Jesse and contemplated its message.

  She’d been selfish, delaying her departure. As safe as Zach made her feel, it was an illusion. Worse, it endangered him.

  If Derek found her, she had no doubt he would kill her for trying to stand between him and his son. If Zach stood with her, Derek would kill him, too. As important as it was to save Jesse from his father, she couldn’t suck anyone else into her peril. Maddie had chosen the risk she ran, but she couldn’t make that choice for someone else. She hoped it wasn’t something she’d have cause to regret. She had to leave while the choice was still hers to make.

  But she could spare a few more hours.

  Her decision made, Maddie grew restless. She got up and picked up her and Zach’s clothes. She folded his and put them on the dresser. Her own she packed into the duffel bag. She left it in the corner of the open closet, satisfied it would be ready when she was. When Zach continued to sleep, she decided to go check on the car she’d left at the arena, maybe drive by the lot that had offered to buy the Lincoln to see when it opened, then bring back breakfast.

  After dressing herself and Jesse, she grabbed Jesse’s travel bag and her purse and slipped out, closing the door quietly behind her.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  At first, Zach didn’t know what had awakened him, then he recognized the fading sound of the Lincoln.

  He jumped out of bed and threw open the door, but the car was already pulling into the street. The cool air of the early morning brushed his skin, reminding him he was naked.

  Inside the room, he reached for his cell phone with one hand as he tried to pull his jeans on with the other. Neither operation met with much success, and he finally sat on the bed with his jeans only up to his knees as he punched in his brother’s number. Crunching the phone between his ear and shoulder, listening to it ring, he finally got his pants up.

  The moment he’d seen the taillights of her car, he’d flashed on the way she’d woken him in the middle of the night. She’d never done that before. Without a word, they’d made slow love in the darkness. He remembered thinking at the time that there’d been a despairing quality to the way she’d touched him. Afterward, she’d seemed sad as she clung to him, but he’d fallen asleep again, thinking he’d have time to evaluate those impressions in the morning. He swore under his breath, wishing he’d listened to his instincts.

  Jake’s phone routed his call to voice mail. Zach disconnected. Trying to redial, he dropped the phone.

  He’d taken terrible risks with Maddie, and if those risks bore fruit, he could have a child out there somewhere he wouldn’t even know about. He couldn’t let her just disappear.

  Zach retrieved the phone and redialed, then pounded on the wall when Jake’s phone started ringing again. “Wake up, you lazy bastard!”

  Jake picked up just before it would have gone to voicemail again. His voice was muzzy with sleep but still grumpy at being woken. “What!”

  “She’s gone.”

  “What? Who? Maddie?”

  “Yes, Maddie,” Zach said impatiently. “She drove off just now.”

  “Maybe she’s gone to get breakfast.”

  “No. Maybe. I don’t know.” Zach drove a hand through his hair. “I want you to take the truck and see if you can catch up with her.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  Zach looked around. Seeing Jesse’s bag was gone incited his panic. At first glance, the closet, too, looked empty. Then he saw the duffel in a shadowed corner. Already, he was convinced she’d left it behind to lull him into not worrying until it was too late.

  “I’m going through the things she left to see if there’s any clue where she’s headed.”

  *

  An hour later, Maddie pulled back into the motel parking lot. When she saw Zach’s truck was gone, she hoped Jake hadn’t gone out to fetch breakfast.

  She left the bear claws and coffee in the car, planning to return for them after depositing Jesse inside, but she stopped dead in the open door, her heart feeling like it had dropped to her toes.

  Zach stood behind the bed, an accusatory expression on his face. In a pile in the middle of the hastily made bed were the bank-packaged stacks of bills from the duffel bag. Maddie couldn’t seem to lift her gaze to meet Zach’s.

  “It took this to make me see how come I never pushed you harder for answers.” Zach’s voice was soft but harsh. “I was afraid I’d learn something I couldn’t ignore.”

  Maddie looked up then. “Zach, I can explain—”

  “Can you?” His voice rose, both in volume and pitch. “I’d love it if you could. God knows I’ve racked my brain, trying to find an a
nswer that would let me keep believing you’re the person I thought you were. I can maybe find one for you having a kid that ain’t yours. I can even come up with one or two for you running from some guy you’ve admitted is the baby’s father. It’s a little harder to think of an excuse for you to be traveling with tens of thousands of dollars in cash, but I can just barely pull out an excuse for that. Problem is: none of the stories I’ve built in my head overlap. Except for ones I don’t want to believe.”

  “So you think I’m a kidnapper and a thief.”

  “Tell me it ain’t true. Then give me a reason to believe it. Tell me I can’t think of one myself coz I got a lousy imagination.”

  Maddie suddenly realized she still stood in the open door. Any one walking past could hear their conversation. She kicked the door shut.

  “You? A lousy imagination? With your visions of making a baby? You were so willing to take a risk on me you tried to get me pregnant. Now at the first little thing, you’re convinced I’m nothing but a felon. I guess it’s too much to ask that you have a little faith in me.”

  “Faith?” Zach grabbed a stack of hundred dollar bills and threw it at her. The band broke before it reached her and the money fluttered to the floor. “I got about fifty thousand reasons to doubt.”

  “Actually it’s thirty thousand and change.”

  He looked at her as though she’d gone crazy.

  “It looks like more because some of it’s in fifties and twenties.”

  In spite of the yelling, Zach had been coldly calm. His chest rose and fell like he’d just run ten miles. “God, Maddie, please tell me there’s an explanation I ain’t gonna hate.”

  Maddie struggled to restrain her temper. She’d planned on using an argument with Zach as an excuse to walk out, but she’d never thought it would be over this. He’d never let her just walk out with all these issues unresolved.

  Her arms were growing numb under Jesse’s weight. She sat him on the bed next to the pile of money. His chubby fist closed on a packet of hundred dollar bills which headed straight for his mouth.

  “You shouldn’t let him play with that,” Zach said.