Gastien: From Dream to Destiny: A Caddy Rowland Historical Family Saga/Drama (The Gastien Series Book 2)

by Caddy Rowland

  “Amen. That must hurt something awful.”

  “Well, goodnight. Merci for the company. I hope things work out with Alice.”

  For the next month and a half, Gastien painted, seeing at least one patron a week. He kept his sex escapades inside his studio to minimize the time spent. If Sophie went into labor, he did not want to be gone when the driver came to tell him.

  He did not use his bed, though. The women seemed happy enough on a chaise, the floor, or the table. Sometimes he held them up against a wall. Personally, he would have demanded to be given a little more special treatment; but that was up to them. If they were happy being serviced on the floor, or against a wall, he was not going to do anything but oblige.

  XIV

  Sophie was now four days past due, and by now she looked truly miserable. She was very frustrated that the baby would not decide to come. She was swollen all over; it hurt to move around.

  Gastien visited every evening. He felt awful for her. This had to take its toll on her, since she was so little!

  Finally, one day while he was cleaning up his brushes, a cabriolet pulled up. The man came to Gastien’s door. Sophie was in labor! Gastien grabbed a bag he had packed, after putting up a sign on the door saying, “Baby coming. Closed until further notice.”

  Then he jumped up into the cabriolet and headed to Odette’s.

  When he got there, Odette met him at the door. “She has only been in labor a few hours, Gastien. It may be a long wait.”

  “I want to see her,” demanded Gastien. “I want to make sure she is ok.”

  Odette looked shocked. “NON! Men do not enter the room where a woman is giving birth! Have you no decency at all? It is simply not heard of!”

  Gastien turned red. “Of course, I understand. Please excuse my clumsiness in this situation. I am just nervous.”

  Odette motioned to the couch. “You can wait there.” She hesitated. “Did you eat?”

  “Non. I came right away.”

  She sighed. “I will get you some bread and soup.”

  What an unwelcoming old witch, thought Gastien. She sighed like it would kill her to feed him a little soup. It was his turn to sigh while he waited. Odette brought the soup, bread, and cheese; also pouring Gastien a glass of vin.

  “I don’t want you to think my opinion has changed about you. Sophie will wonder if you got to eat, so I am feeding you.”

  “Merci, Odette.” He bit his tongue to keep from saying what he would have liked to.

  Odette went back in to Sophie. Gastien could hear Sophie’s groans. Soon, it was quiet for several minutes. The pains must still be quite far apart, he thought.

  Then a doctor came out of the room. As Sophie wailed and groaned again, the doctor approached Gastien. His face was ashen, and he looked very tense.

  Sitting down next to him, the doctor said, “I am afraid we have a problem, Monsieur.”

  Gastien’s heart pounded. “What? What is wrong? Is something wrong with Sophie?” he asked fearfully.

  “Non. Not yet, anyway. But the baby is breach. That is why the sage-femme got me. It seems it has decided to attempt to come out feet first.”

  Gastien relaxed. “Well, what difference does that make, as long as it comes into the world?”

  “I am afraid it makes a whole lot of difference. The baby could be strangled on its cord. It is also a very hard way to deliver. Your wife is very, very small. I don’t know if she can deliver this child.”

  Gastien’s world tilted. “What exactly do you mean by that?“

  “I mean that I am doing my best to try to get the child to turn around. If it won’t, there is a good possibility your wife won’t live through it. This could take hours, with the baby being unsuccessful in coming out. As the hours go by, Sophie will get weaker. It has only been four. Let’s hope for the best.”

  Gastien jumped up. “I am going in there.”

  “You can’t go in there, it is not your place!” the doctor ordered, standing to block him.

  “Get out of my way, please. I am going in to be with my wife!”

  From the look on Gastien’s face, the doctor knew not to argue. He stepped aside, and Gastien practically ran into Sophie’s room.

  Odette jumped up. “Out! Get out of here and don’t upset her! This is no place for a man!”

  Gastien ignored her and sat on the bed by Sophie. “Oh, Sophie, I am here. I am here, my Petite Oiseau.”

  She looked at him with eyes huge with fear. She was already drenched in sweat and panting hard.

  “Gastien,” she whimpered.

  “Shhhhh. Don’t waste energy talking, Sophie. Just try to relax when the pains aren’t coming. I won’t leave you. I promise not to leave you, no matter what.”

  “Je t’aime Gastien,” she managed.

  Then she screamed.

  Gastien held her hand, feeling the pain as she squeezed it with all of her might. He wondered if she was going to break it. Thank God he had given her his right hand, instead of his painting hand.

  Odette came up behind him. “You have to break every rule, don’t you? Why can’t you stay where a man is supposed to stay in times like this? Why must you upset things?”

  Gastien took a rag from the basin of cool water, wringing it out.

  As he held it to Sophie’s forehead he responded calmly, “My place right now is with my wife. If you want to stay, you will kindly shut your mouth for once. I want things kept as calm as possible. I would not be immune to physically throwing you out the door, if you say another word that is not helpful.” He looked coldly at her. “Do I make myself clear?”

  Odette stared bitterly at him.

  “DO I?” he asked again.

  “Oui. For Sophie.”

  Gastien turned and rubbed his wife’s belly. Softly he began to sing a love song to her. She seemed to calm down and rest a bit between the contractions.

  Once again the doctor did his best to get the child to turn. Gastien did his best to concentrate on looking at his wife’s face. He did not want her to feel ashamed. Besides, he did not know if he could stand the sight of the birthing without passing out anyway. He had not been prepared for this.

  He also had no idea what they were both in for.

  Sophie would be in labor 21 hours. After about 20 hours, it was obvious that she was failing. It seemed that Sophie no longer had the strength to survive the ordeal.

  Throughout the labor, Gastien was there by her side, cooling her down, singing gently in between the pains, talking her through when they came. He could see she was losing the fight.

  The doctor just could not get the baby turned around. Finally, he asked Odette to go outside and tell a neighbor to get the priest. It was almost time for last rites.

  Gastien was ice cold where his heart was. His stomach was icy, too. The fear he felt when he looked at Sophie suffocated him. How could life go on without Sophie? He found himself begging a God he did not believe in for Sophie to live.

  Oh, please God, please. Don’t take her away. Oh, please God. I beg you, please not this. I have lived through so much. Please – not this.

  He tried to keep his face calm, so that he would not scare Sophie.

  XV

  It had now been 21 hours. Sophie was so weak she did not even try to push when the pains came.

  Then, suddenly, the doctor cried, “Mon Dieu! Oh, Dieu merci, the baby has moved around! The head is at the opening now!”

  Gastien leaned close to Sophie. Gently turning her face to his, he spoke urgently.

  “Sophie! Sophie, listen to me! I know you are exhausted. I know you just want to go to sleep. But, Sophie, the baby is facing the right way now! We can have our baby, Sophi-belle.”

  She closed her eyes.

  “Please, Sophie. Listen to me! Squeeze my hand if you hear me.”

  She opened her eyes and weakly squeezed. That was all he needed.

  “I felt that. Listen, remember when we first met you told me how strong you were? That just becau
se you were little, people misjudged you and thought you were weak?”

  She nodded slightly.

  “Well, you need to find that strength now! You need to push again, darling. Push really, really hard. Stay focused, look into my eyes, and hold my hand. I am here, and I need you; the baby needs you. Tristan Michel wants to live, Sophie. And so do you. So do you! Je t’aime, Petite Oiseau.” He kissed her tenderly. “Ready?”

  Another nod.

  “Then push! Push hard!” He could feel her gathering her strength and starting to push. “That’s right! Harder! You can do it!”

  “The baby is crowning now,” said the doctor tensely. “One more good push, and let’s pray she can take it.”

  Gastien looked at her “Did you hear that?” He looked down and saw the head out. There was no time to even feel woozy. “I see his face! Push, Sophie, so his little shoulders can come out! Push!”

  She pushed once more, crying out weakly, but surprisingly strong again.

  “That did it,” the doctor said. “The baby is out.”

  Gastien heard the angry cries of his child. His eyes locked with Sophie’s.

  “Do you hear that?”

  Her eyes filled with tears as she nodded.

  The doctor held the child up for them both to see. “Congratulations, mother and father! You have a new son!”

  He was little, and wrinkly, and bloody… and screaming like a demon.

  Both Gastien and Sophie had never seen anything so beautiful in their lives.

  The doctor continued, “I will let you hold him in a minute, Sophie. But first we need to get the afterbirth out. I am afraid you have to push a little more, but not nearly as hard.”

  The doctor asked Gastien if he would like to cut the cord. Gastien did so with a shaking hand. He was afraid he would do something that would hurt his baby.

  The sage-femme took the child. She cleaned him up; then wrapped him in warm cloth and asked if Gastien would like to hold him while she got Sophie cleaned up.

  Odette said, “I would think he would rather leave and let Sophie be cleaned up with some dignity.”

  Sophie spoke up. Her voice shook with exhaustion, but the message was clear.

  “Non. He stays. I would not be alive if it were not for him here. Let him be the first to hold our child.”

  As the baby was passed to Gastien, he reached out with trembling arms. He looked up with puzzled, scared eyes.

  “Don’t be afraid,” said the sage-femme. “They are quite resilient. Just make sure you support his head, and don’t press on the soft part of it. Here, give me your hand. Feel that? Be very careful of that. Support his neck with your hand. He is not used to holding that heavy head up yet. It will be several weeks before he can.”

  “He is so little, so fragile,” whispered Gastien. “It seems like I am in a dream!” He held the baby in his arms and smiled down at him. The baby stopped crying. “Salut, Son. I am your father. Now you know what the man whose voice you heard while you were in your mother looks like.”

  The baby screwed up his face and started to wail.

  Gastien looked surprised and upset. “He is scared of me! He must not like my face or something!” He looked up at the sage-femme.

  “I doubt this is the case, Monsieur. Babies cannot focus that well when they are new. He can’t see the details of your face. He is just very hungry!”

  Gastien looked visibly relieved. “Oh! Well, that is good to know. I would hate to think my son’s first memory of this life is seeing a face that scared him half to death. I am sorry, Son, I am not capable of filling your tummy. Mother has to do that. She is being cleaned up a little bit, first, because you raised a lot of hell coming into this world.” The baby wailed some more. “Oh, don’t worry, I am not upset with you. It must be hard making an appearance. I can’t remember.”

  He relaxed a little bit more. Then he kissed the baby’s head gently. “I will do my best with you, Tristan Michel, but I am afraid I am sadly lacking in the fatherhood department.” The baby cried louder. “I see you are concerned. Well, your mother will take very, very good care of you. What I lack in paternal skills she more than makes up for. But, always remember, I do love you.”

  Sophie watched Gastien interact with their child. It did not take long to get her ready. It was important to start its first feeding.

  “Gastien? I hate to break up your first father/son talk, but, let me have our baby! I want to hold him, and he wants to eat.” She smiled, holding out her arms.

  Gastien smiled back. “Oh, we have had many talks, if you remember. You are not interrupting. By his cries, he is much more interested in you right now anyway.”

  He clumsily transferred the child to Sophie’s arms. “Did I do that all right?” he asked worriedly.

  “You were fine, darling.” Sophie looked at Odette. “And, non, my husband will not be asked to leave while I nurse this baby. It is a natural part of life, and Gastien has seen my breasts plenty. I think it is important that he is present for these first moments of life.”

  Odette sniffed, but wisely remained silent.

  Gastien adjusted the pillows behind Sophie to help make her more comfortable sitting up. Soon Tristan Michel was sucking greedily, and the wails had ceased. Sophie and Gastien gazed at the babe in wonder.

  Gastien was weak with relief that Sophie had made it through. Silently he looked to the doctor, thanking him with his eyes. The doctor nodded.

  “It appears that things are running their normal course now. I believe that I can leave, if the sage-femme will stay around for another two hours or so,” announced the doctor. The sage-femme nodded. “Then I will say my goodbyes. And, Sophie, well done! Very well done. Congratulations to both of you on a fine, healthy son. Tristan Michel is a fine name.”

  No one mentioned that the priest had been called, and had been sent back home at the door. Both Sophie and Gastien thanked him.

  Gastien walked with him to the front door. “Merci beaucoup, doctor. I can never thank you enough. I will stop by your office next week to pay the bill.”

  “I had little to do with her pulling through. She made it through sheer force of will. And that was greatly influenced by your encouragement.” He paused. “I have never had a father in the room before, it is highly unheard of! But I am very thankful that you were there today.”

  XVI

  Two hours later, the sage-femme was gone. Sophie was sleeping peacefully, the baby in the basinet next to her bed. Gastien looked at Odette.

  “He is beautiful, isn’t he?”

  Odette gave him a rare smile. “Oui. He is absolutely perfect! I was so scared!” She had tears in her eyes.

  “Oui. I was too,” confessed Gastien.

  They sat in silence several minutes just gaining calmness back. “Odette? I promise you I am not looking to move in. Please, though, allow me to stay here for at least the first week. I want to make sure that my wife and son are all right, and that Sophie is getting her strength back. I can also be an extra pair of hands to help out.”

  Odette nodded curtly. “That will be fine. A week is fine, maybe a few more days if she is still weak. I can understand your concern. We must do everything to make sure that they both thrive.”

  “Merci beaucoup, Odette.”

  She sniffed, uncomfortable. “No need. Sophie and Tristan Michel are my concern, not you. Please remember that. It is not Tristan Michel’s fault that you can’t be a normal husband and father.”

  Gastien looked down, surprisingly hurt by that comment. Finally he looked over at her.

  “Non, it is not his fault, Odette. Nor is it mine. It is simply who I was made to be. And it is not your fault that you don’t understand it. Merci for letting me stay. I will, of course, sleep on the couch.”

  “Of course. I did not think otherwise.”

  Gastien turned away, pretending to be in deep thought. Actually, he was just trying to come to grips with how hard this woman could actually be. He wondered if she would ever like hi
m in the least.

  “Odette, I hope at some point you and I – ”

  “There is no chance of that, Gastien. You are right. You are what you are. I know plenty about men like you. Please don’t expect me to ever like you because it won’t happen. I can be decent, but there will never be a fondness in my heart. You ruined Sophie’s life, whether she realizes it or not. I will never forgive you for that.”

  Gastien tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

  “As you wish,” he said quietly.

  Later, he watched Sophie feed their son again. Afterward, he held Sophie’s hand as she slept. Gastien was thoroughly exhausted. Odette had gone to bed shortly after their conversation. He decided he needed to try to sleep himself. He kissed Sophie on the lips softly and she stirred.

  “I am going to the sofa to get some sleep, Sophie. I have not left.”

  “All right, Gastien,” she murmured, and then was sleeping again.

  He stumbled out to the living room, wondering where he would find bedding for the couch. Thankfully, he saw that Odette had laid out bedding for him, along with a pillow. As he made the couch up, he tried to think kindly of her. She had at least let him stay.

  Gastien fell asleep quickly, only to be awakened a few hours later by the baby crying. Groggily, he got up to check on Sophie.

  “We are fine, Gastien. Just fine. Please get some sleep. You don’t have to get up every time he cries. There is no reason we both have to be up. Please. Go get some sleep,” Sophie said quietly.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Well, can you feed him?”

  Gastien smiled. “Non! I don’t think that would work.”

  “Then go to bed! We will call out if we need you.”

  Gastien gladly sank back down on the sofa. Even the discomfort of a sofa did not deter him from sleeping deeply. Faintly, he heard a baby crying another time or two. In his dream he knew that things were fine. He could stay right where he was, dreaming about colors, seeing the energy in the shape and texture of everything around him in his dream.