by Nicky Shanks
“So, now that I’m a free man, we should get together again.” He licks his thin lips and his gaze devours my thighs. “Nora told me something quite interesting when I visited her that night…before she fell.”
I roll my eyes. “What’s that?”
I’m scared.
…And excited.
He lets me go and my arm tingles where he grabbed me. He rubs his jawline and sits on a bench next to us, looking up at me with wide eyes. Even though I’m totally grossed out by public benches—and bathrooms—I make an exception and slowly lower myself next to him. “Are you going to tell me what Nora said?”
His nostrils flare as he thinks about it. “Julie Remington is my ex-girlfriend.”
My eyes snap to his.
“And I know Oliver Jackson is your ex-boyfriend.”
I scoff. “That’s not a secret.” I narrow my eyes. “Julie is your ex?”
He nods. “She was the love of my life until Oliver came along.”
I start to laugh hysterically. Brandon looks annoyed and pinches my side gently. “I fully intend to get over her and maybe we can help each other out,” he says. “Maybe we can have a little fun ourselves.”
“What exactly do you have in mind?”
He puts his hand on my inner thigh and squeezes. “After I take care of a little business, you and I should go back to your place so I can tie you—”
“—I’m meeting someone,” I flatly say. This is so not what I want my life to be anymore.
He leans closer to me; his breath smells like rum and cigarettes. “You and I both know that was some of the best sex we’ve ever had.”
I stand up and fake a smile. “I have to go. Thanks to Ollie, I have to pawn the rest of my nice things so I’ll have a place to live. Come by my room later and we can talk about—” I look around to make sure no one is watching us. “—anything else besides sex.” I look down at him and take a minute to appreciate how different from Ollie he is. He’s tall like Ollie, but lanky and silver-tongued—he knows what to say to make me squirm a little in my skin.
He stands up. “Do you need money?”
“I don’t need money from you.”
He growls. “So, his money is good enough for you, but mine isn’t?”
People on the sidewalk start to stop and look at us. The fire in his warm eyes goes out and he shakes his head. “Heather, please.” My eyebrows rise at the fact that he remembers my name. “I’m trying to be a better guy, okay? I’ve been a dick lately, and I’m trying to be better.”
Well…me too.
I actually believe him. I can’t find it in my new heart of hearts not to believe him. “I can’t take money from you—I hardly know you.”
He takes my hand, and for a split second, it feels like Ollie all over again. The swooning and the charm dripping from his body reels me in; I can’t resist a man who wants to help me. “Just let me do this for you. If Oliver won’t take care of you, let me do it.”
The jewelry in my pocket is weighing me down. I shove my hand in and finger the dainty pieces. I have two things left: the first diamond necklace Ollie ever gave to me, and the pearl necklace Ollie’s grandfather left me in his will.
“Look, you need a place to stay, right? Stay with me until you find something else. Save your money and save the rest of your nice things.”
I’m not buying it. “I’m not looking to trade sex for rent.”
He laughs and holds up his hands in defense. “I promise I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. We can sleep together if you want—I know I want to—but you can have your own room and your own space. Just consider this an act of good faith that I truly want to start being a better person than I’ve been.”
I have to think about this…right?
“Can we talk about this later?” I check my phone to see if Lucy has messaged me about being late yet. I hardly want to face her when I’m feeling sorry for myself like this, but Brandon has made it crystal clear that he thinks I can’t take care of myself.
I have no skills.
I have no job.
I have nothing.
“Of course,” he says and hands me a business card with his cell phone number on it. He leans in and I think he’s going to kiss me on the mouth, but he plants his cold lips on my cheek instead. “I’ll come by your room in a few hours and we can talk then.”
“Are you sure about this?” I blurt out. “I’m not exactly someone to take home to your mother.”
His breath is on my ear as he leans in closer. “It’s a good thing I’m not looking to take anyone home to her, then.” He winks and walks away, leaving me in a puddled mess on the sidewalk. How can someone so elusive and self-aware make me want to rip his clothes off?
I look down at the card in my hands.
Brandon Whitehouse
Law Assistant of Robert Galloway
Attorney at Law
The coffee shop is a few blocks away, but it takes me forever to walk there. I shove the card into my pocket when I see Lucy sitting at a table. I instantly want to turn back around. She isn’t the same as she was in high school, and her profile pictures didn’t do her justice. The once wiry-haired, frumpy nobody is now the object of every man’s attention as they walk by. The bold green dress she has on perfects everything it’s supposed to, and I find myself green with envy over it.
“Heather!” she squeals and jumps up, entangling me in a bear hug.
“Wow, you look—”
She giggles. “I know. Crazy, right?”
I notice her expensive clothes and jewelry, and the twenty-dollar bill weighs heavily inside my bag. Now I’m kicking myself—I should’ve taken some cash from Brandon before coming here to be on the safe side. Lucy orders a bottle of strawberry champagne for us and throws a judgmental look my way.
That was my look.
The look I gave people when I felt sorry for them.
And now she’s giving it to me.
I’ve hit rock bottom.
“I need your help, Lucy,” I say. “I need someone to talk to, and you’re the only person that won’t turn me away.”
She puts her hand on mine and gives me that look again. “Tell me all about it.”
Pity.
She pities me.
That’s okay, because right now I don’t feel so hot about myself.
But I’m going to do everything I can to change that.
Chapter Seven
Julie
I hear my phone ring as I’m putting away everything Staci insisted on buying for me on our shopping trip. The few journals of Colin’s I managed to sneak home with me fit nicely in the slouch bag she forced me to buy. I shove them inside for safe keeping and look in the mirror—the entire pregnancy drama has taken a toll on my hair and skin. Oliver isn’t speaking to me, so I don’t rush to find the phone. It’s probably Randy wondering where I’d been all day.
The lavender blouse that she picked out feels nice against my skin; I smooth out the fabric over my stomach and think about Oliver. I’m sure Staci mailed the envelope for me; I’d scratched his address on it when I debated on mailing it myself.
Can I forget about Oliver and move on?
No. I love him. He’s been slowly fixing me, putting all of the broken pieces back together one by one.
There’s a knock at my door and it opens before I can get to it. Clyde peeks his head in with his eyes squeezed closed so tightly that it’s comical. I laugh as he enters, opens his eyes, and blushes. “Oh, hey Aunt Julie.”
“Clyde, is everything okay?”
He looks sad. “You haven’t been around much lately. You’ve been going on vacations with your new boyfriend.”
I smile at him. “We didn’t take a vacation. More like…a getaway.”
He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. You’re letting him take over your life just like Brandon did. At least that’s what Dad says.”
I sit across from him on the sofa. “Your dad shouldn’t be discussing my relationship
s with you, Clyde. That’s not something you need to worry about. I’ll be fine.”
He smiles and perks up. “Well, thanks for being there for me with the school thing. He said I still have to take smart classes, but at least it’s a normal school.” We hear sirens blaring somewhere in the neighborhood, and it distracts me for a minute.
The rain pounds against the roof with such force that it shakes the walls too. It’s getting worse outside, and I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault. My bad mood has caused this thunderstorm somehow, and maybe that’s dramatic but right now, I don’t care.
My attention focuses back on Clyde when he snaps his fingers in front of me. “Did you hear me, Julie?”
I shake my head. “No, sorry.”
“I asked if you’d take me to get some ice cream.”
My stomach grumbles. “Yeah, that sounds good. Let’s go.” I smile and he jumps up, taking my hand and starting to pull me toward the door. The rain outside isn’t letting up, so I grab a sweater before he manages to drag me into the main house.
“Come on, Dad, come with us,” Clyde says. “Julie’s taking me to get ice cream.” My stomach hurts. I don’t need to hear his criticism right now.
I raise my eyebrows at my brother. “We’re going to Gerda’s.”
Gerda’s Ice Cream Parlor has been around for as long as I can remember. Randy used to take me there when I was younger and would visit him for the summers, before I actually moved here. I think about Oliver and chocolate chip ice cream, frowning.
The sirens grow louder and it piques Randy’s attention. “Okay, but I’m driving,” he mutters, putting his newspaper down. He eyes me and puts his glasses in his shirt pocket. “If you think I’m getting into a car with her driving…you’re not as smart as we all think.”
Clyde laughs and looks at me. “Let’s just go,” I say, trying not to smile.
Clyde ushers us outside, and as we back out of the driveway, the sirens get louder. The rain starts to let up a little and we can see ahead of us now. A quarter mile away from the house, there’s a long line of traffic at an intersection. We can see several police cars, fire trucks, and ambulances parked along the road. Broken car parts are scattered everywhere, and people are still screaming and crying, running around with no direction.
“Whoa, that must have been quite a mess,” Randy says, nodding toward a police officer he apparently knows. “I hope everyone is okay.”
I crane my neck to look closer as we inch toward the accident. Shattered glass and debris come into view better with the car lights; people are standing around helping others while paramedics attend to the wounded. I swear that I see someone being rolled away beneath a white sheet before Randy blocks my view; he rolls down his window and waves the officer he knows down. The man walks toward the window with an intense look on his face. “Hey, Brad. What happened? Did everyone survive?” Randy asks.
Brad shakes his head in sadness. “Not everyone. The driver of one of the vehicles involved didn’t make it. He was mangled up pretty bad. I think he died on impact.” Brad looks in the backseat and notices Clyde.
My stomach starts to hurt so badly I nearly throw up. Clyde’s hand lands on my shoulder. “How did it happen?” I force myself to ask.
Brad shrugs. “The roads are slick and the driver of the truck wasn’t paying attention. It smashed into the back of the Jeep at a high speed and caused it to hit another car head-on. Then it hit two other cars in the intersection and flipped several times. Poor bastard.” Brad looks at the traffic piling up behind us. “Well, better get you all on through. Stay safe out there, okay?”
Randy nods. “Let me know the drivers involved, okay?”
Jeep.
He said Jeep.
“Which driver didn’t survive?” I ask in a panic, but Brad has already stepped away. We slowly make our way down the road, around the accident.
I see the truck that smashed into the Jeep.
I see the two cars that the Jeep hit.
Then, I see it.
The Jeep sits mangled on the side of the intersection, upside-down and almost unrecognizable to the point where I can’t even tell what color it is. “Is there someone inside that Jeep?” I stretch my neck, then lean my body over closer to Randy to try and see better. “I don’t see anyone…is there someone in there?”
He speeds the car up, forcing me to sit back down. I keep my eyes on the accident until I can’t see it anymore. My stomach turns as I try and tell myself that isn’t Oliver’s Jeep on the side of that road mangled up. I have to make sure he’s alive.
I take my phone from my pocket and dial Oliver’s number.
What if he answers?
What do I say to him?
My heart skips several beats in a row.
I hang up and send him a text message instead.
Julie: Please call me. I love you.
Now all I can do is wait as we pull up to Gerda’s. Clyde hops out and sees some of his friends; he follows them inside. I can feel the tension between Randy and me; he doesn’t make it worse because I think he can feel my fear.
“Did you get him?” he asks. His eyes are shaded and I get an odd feeling that he knows something. “I don’t think it was his Jeep, Julie.”
I suck in a deep breath. “I couldn’t tell. I don’t know why he would be in our area.”
My heart freezes. The house he bought is near Randy’s.
My body buzzes with fear and I shake so badly that Randy takes my hand into his to comfort me. “Let’s just go in so Clyde doesn’t freak out, okay? I’ll make a few phone calls and see what I can find out.”
I nod. That’s all I can do—wait. He leaves me in the Jeep so I can have a few minutes of silence by myself. My phone rings and it startles me, making me nearly drop it on the floor of the car.
“Hello.” My voice is dark and sad.
“Julie?” Staci says. “What’s wrong? Did Oliver call you?”
“No, is he okay?”
“I don’t know. I mean, he was when I dropped off your envelope. That was over an hour ago, though. I stole it from the table…I wanted you to know.” I can hear her speaking, but I stop listening when she has nothing to say that I actually want to hear.
She doesn’t have any good news about Oliver.
She doesn’t have any bad news about Oliver, either.
I sigh. “Thanks for doing that. I’m actually with my family right now—”
“Say no more. Call me later, okay?”
I hang up the phone. I don’t have time to think about fun when I don’t know if Oliver is alive or not. I have to calm down; there are tons of people with Jeeps in Rockford.
Randy: Are you coming in?
I look up and Randy is standing in the window, waving me inside. I step into the rain and hope my legs won’t give out. All of the stress has flowed through my body, and the laughter inside the ice cream parlor doesn’t make me forget about anything at all. I clutch my phone in my hand the entire time, hoping he’ll just call and tell me he’s okay.
The entire hour we’re in the shop, it never goes off.
No call from Oliver.
No texts from Oliver.
My mind is spinning out of control.
On the way back home, the accident has been cleared and I can’t see the Jeep anymore. I look around the intersection as if I’d be able to get any answers, but there’s nothing.
“When was the last time you heard from him?” Randy asks me in the dark car as we park, careful not to wake Clyde from his sugar coma.
I don’t want to answer him. He already hates Oliver as it is. “When he dropped me off last.”
He scoffs. “You mean when you came stomping through the house all pissed off?”
I nod. “I guess.”
“Why do you let people walk all over you? Why do you only stay with men who hurt you and make you feel this way?”
I slam my hands on the dashboard, waking Clyde up. “Clyde, go inside.” The velocity of anger in my
voice startles him, and he does what he’s told without question. Randy looks a little taken aback by my boldness. He’s never heard me stick up for myself before.
“Oliver and I love each other, okay? I love him and he loves me.” I glare at him in the moonlight. “People fight, relationships aren’t perfect. I’m sorry you lost the most perfect woman in the world to you, but in the real world, people fight and sometimes make up. And another thing—” I whip my head to look at him directly. “—Oliver would never do something deliberately to hurt me like Brandon did. He takes care of me. He bought a house for me.”
His eyebrows rise. “Oh, really? Where?”
“A few blocks from here, so it’ll be closer to my classes.”
Randy nods his head in approval. “I like that you’ve taken notice of my offer of paying for you to go to school. And I never said I didn’t like Oliver…you know that, right? I just hate seeing you make the same mistake over again. The last one did you in pretty good.”
Brandon. They have names.
I’m not sure he even cares.
“You are so judgmental that I don’t want to tell you anything anymore, Randy. I had parents, remember? They mistreated me and I left them behind—don’t make me do the same to you.” I narrow my eyes at his look of surprise. “You know what I mean. I grew up without parental supervision, and I think I turned out okay. I just want you to be my brother, not my father.”
He sighs and rubs his hands over his forehead. “Look, I’m flying blind here with Clyde and you both, okay? Marianna always took care of these things, and since she’s been gone, it’s been hard. I want to do right by both of you. Can we just leave it at that?”
I smile. “Fine, we can do that.”
I think about our newfound respect for each other as I walk back to the pool house, but I still can’t shake the awful feeling about Oliver. I haven’t heard from him, and even though he’s upset with me, he would at least contact me in some way.
Before I can take my sweater off in the pool house, there’s a loud knock on the door. I sigh and don’t bother turning around since it’s probably Clyde again. “Come in,” I say. Peeling the sweater off of my shoulders, I toss it into the laundry basket because it’s wet and smells like rain. When I turn around to talk to Clyde, a weird feeling washes over me because it’s not my nephew staring back at me from across the room.