Envy (The Damning Book 2)

by Katie May

  He drained the water, perching at the edge of the claw-footed tub. Once

  the tub was emptied, he began to refill it, placing a hand beneath the faucet to

  check the temperature. Steam billowed, but I relished in the blistering heat. I

  wondered if it could burn away all my sins.

  “How long have you been here?” I didn’t recognize my voice. It was

  croaky, almost as if I had just gotten out of bed.

  “Awhile,” he admitted unashamedly. “I wanted to give you space.”

  “And now?”

  “I want to take care of you.” He practically breathed the words, his voice

  a purr.

  When the tub was filled once more, he turned off the faucet and grabbed a

  clean rag off the bathroom counter.

  “Talk to me,” he pleaded, dabbing the rag with a generous amount of

  soap. Slowly, gauging my reaction, he brought it to my shoulders.

  His ministrations were slow, cautious, but I leaned into him. Everywhere

  the rag touched, goosebumps erupted.

  “I don’t know why I feel so guilty.” I stared pointedly ahead at the

  golden-edged mirror. A beautiful adornment on the cream painted wall. I

  made out my reflection - cheeks sunken, eyes hollow, blond hair tangled. I

  wondered if this was how I looked when Diego died. Another innocent

  brutality of this war I knew nothing about.

  Ryland moved the rag down my arms, paying special attention to each of

  my fingers. I never thought that bathing someone could be so erotic, but each

  accidental graze of his hand against mine caused my skin to burn.

  He didn’t interrupt me as I spoke, focused entirely on his task.

  “It wasn’t my fault. Not Jakob’s death. Not Diego’s. So why do I feel

  such staggering guilt?” I laughed humorlessly, watching Ryland move around

  the tub to wash my other arm. A part of me grieved the lack of his touch for

  that brief moment of separation.

  Ridiculous.

  Utterly ridiculous.

  “But Jakob’s eyes...he stared at me with hope, Ry. He truly believed that I

  would be his savior. But look at him! Because of me, he’s dead. I may not

  have been the one to do the actual killing, but...” I trailed off helplessly.

  I wanted Tavvy to bleed for what he had done. I wanted him to suffer.

  The need was almost more compelling than the Mage bond. It painted a

  beautiful, yet macabre, picture. Striding towards the smug asshole with my

  knife held firmly in my hand. Cutting through the tender skin of his neck.

  Smiling down at him, as he had smiled down at the six men.

  “I think,” Ryland began. He moved to sit inside the tub with me, still fully

  clothed. The water played with the edge of his shirt, gifting me briefly a view

  of his darkly sculpted muscles. “You feel guilty because you’re a good

  person.”

  I snorted at his logic, but he continued before I could protest.

  “You see the world the way the rest of us want to. Not in black or white

  or even gray, but in vibrant colors. You are able to separate the innocents

  from the predators. You recognize evil for what it is, and you wish to stop it.”

  His hands were wrapped around my calf as he scrubbed at my skin. Tiny

  bubbles appeared on my bare leg. Briefly, I wondered if I had shaved

  recently. Why was that something I would think about?

  I shook my head, the enticing aroma of my body wash finally reaching

  my nostrils. The scent was almost decadent. Pomegranates, I believed.

  Lupe’s favorite.

  “I’ve killed a lot of people in my life,” I whispered harshly. I stared at

  Ryland, waiting for the moment when he would realize what a monster I was

  and run. His expression remained warm, if not slightly impassive, as he

  scrubbed the soles of my feet.

  After a long moment of silence, his breathy confession breached the

  distance between us.

  “So have I.”

  I gaped at him, his words sending me reeling. My eyes tracked each and

  every scar on his face, so many that his skin was discolored shades of white,

  red, and brown.

  I hoped that the people he killed were the ones who had done that to him.

  Silence stretched between us, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Instead, I

  focused on his dark hand moving through the water and up my inner thighs. I

  held my breath, need and desperation causing my heart to hammer and

  breathing to speed up.

  Despite my silent plea, he didn’t touch me where I wanted him to.

  He brought the rag to my stomach, and his thumb grazed my belly button.

  The only sound was my sharp intake of breath and the rippling of water.

  The rag inched higher, higher, higher, until it brushed the underside of my

  breasts. This time, I couldn’t contain the pathetic whimper that escaped me.

  “Please,” I whispered. My core was aching, and I rubbed my thighs

  together to alleviate the pain.

  When he dropped the rag, I thought I was going to die. Literally die.

  Die.

  Guilt chewed away at me.

  “Hey, stay here. Don’t get lost in that mind of yours.” Ryland cupped my

  face in both of his hands, eyes searching my own. Only when he found my

  assent, did he release my face.

  And abruptly cupped my aching breasts.

  I gasped, staring at his hand over my skin and loving the contrasting skin

  colors as his dark hand held my pale breast. His thumb grazed my nipple, and

  I jerked.

  Keeping his eyes trained on mine, Ryland removed his hands and lathered

  them in soap.

  “You don’t see yourself clearly,” he whispered, bringing his hands back

  to my skin. I groaned at the contact, the soft pad of his fingers and rough

  calluses of his palms eliciting sensations I had never felt before. He paid extra

  attention to my nipples, pulling at them, twisting them.

  “You don’t either,” I responded, slightly breathless. His hands lifted both

  of my boobs, scrubbing soap underneath them, before he dropped them,

  watching them bounce with heated eyes.

  “What if I told you that the men I killed didn’t deserve it?” His voice was

  broken. A stark contrast to the sure, domineering man who had thrown a

  book at my face. “Would you leave me?”

  His hands cupped water and dropped it onto my chest, washing away the

  soap. He did this three times before moving his hands to my thighs.

  “Would you?” he whispered hoarsely.

  “What if I told you,” I countered, spreading my legs wider so he could fit

  comfortably between them, “that I killed an innocent person as well? Would

  you leave me?”

  “Never.” His answer was instantaneous.

  His finger moved up my thigh, the touch reminding me of a first snowfall.

  Ironically, I couldn’t help but think how the soft touch burned my skin.

  One finger pierced my wet cunt, and I arched my back, moaning.

  “Fuck,” I whispered.

  He brutally, savagely, fucked me with his finger, pulling it in and out of

  me. It was completely different from his soft hands and even softer words

  only moments before. This was rough and brutal. Claiming. Punishing. That

  one finger was joined by two more - I had to give Ryland credit. He wasn’t

  doing anything half-assed.
<
br />   I was reaching the tip of a mountain, seconds from tumbling over. I had

  to decide if I was going to fall and trust him to catch me or remain stranded at

  the top. My back arched sharply, fire racing down my nerves.

  I pulled his face to mine, and our lips met in a desperate dance. He kissed

  me like rain falling on a spring day. Everywhere we touched, we dissolved

  into each other until there was no Z and Ryland, but one person.

  Finally, I found my relief, sobbing. Ryland continued to finger fuck me

  long after my orgasm subsided. He pulled out slowly, lips tilted up in smug,

  male satisfaction against my own.

  My stomach tightened with lust when I realized we were both bathing in

  my release.

  Ryland pressed a kiss against my forehead, eyes burning with an emotion

  I recognized all too well.

  “You won’t become a monster, Z, because you recognize the monsters in

  others. Soon, you’re going to recognize the monster in me.”

  His words took me back to his earlier question.

  Would I still love him if he had killed innocent people?

  It had only just occurred to me that I had never answered it.

  Ryland’s voice was self-deprecating when he spoke next. “This world is

  designed to bring out all our monsters. It’s only a matter of time until you see

  mine, little assassin. Only a matter of time.”

  THIRTY-THREE

  Z

  By the time I left the room, my nerves had settled and I found that I

  could breathe.

  Ryland had receded back into the shadows, a fact that saddened

  me. With time, he would be okay with showing his face to the world. Long,

  excruciating time.

  Dair was uncharacteristically silent when I stepped into the main

  bedroom. He sat on the bed, arms crossed over his muscular chest and eyes

  contemplative. When he saw me, he sat up, a brilliant smile etching across

  his face.

  It was nice to see such a smile. The mood with my mates had been tense

  and somber since the fight with the Kraken and then the massacre in the

  dungeons. We all just wanted to go home, to escape.

  To kill some damn Mermaid Princes.

  “Z!” Dair rushed from the bed and grabbed my hand in his. “I want to

  take you to see my mom and sister today.”

  His words froze me in place. I blinked at him wordlessly.

  “Excuse me?” I asked on a screech. Meeting his mother? That sounded

  more terrifying than fighting another Kraken. Was there something wrong

  with me, something so deeply and intricately wrong with me, that made me

  fear opening myself up to these men?

  “I want her to meet you,” he said softly. His face softened in adoration,

  and I could see how much he loved his mom.

  I wanted to say yes, to see the glorious smile I knew would cross his face,

  to feel his golden hand in mine as he tugged me out of the room.

  But something was stopping me. Nothing large, but a diminutive clamp

  that tugged at the top of my heart. I knew that if I said yes, if I agreed to

  something so monumental, it would alter my life forever. I would no longer

  be “Z the assassin” or “Zara the maid.” I would be their mate, their lovers,

  first and foremost.

  Why did that terrify me so much?

  Maybe because you surround yourself with death, I told myself snidely.

  Staring into his brilliant blue eyes, I knew that I had feelings for him and

  the others that surpassed even my fears. That thought cemented my resolve.

  I loved him. Maybe it was the beginnings of love, the slightest trickling of

  rain before it down-poured. Maybe it had progressed in the weeks I had been

  at the Capital. Either way, it was love. The strength of my conviction took me

  by surprise.

  Fuck.

  “Yes,” I whispered. Did he see how much he meant to me in my gaze?

  Hear it in my voice?

  “Yes?” He stared at me in disbelief. From his expression, it was obvious

  he hadn’t expected me to agree. That disbelief changed to joy, and I was

  right. He flashed that brilliant smile at me once more.

  I may have had six other mates, but to Dair, I was his only one. He stared

  at me as if he had never seen a woman so beautiful before, so perfect, so

  deserving of his love.

  Utter bullshit, if you asked me. I didn’t deserve this man in front of me

  with his golden hair and golden face and a heart that made women

  everywhere weep. He was a good man. I knew it from the first moment I had

  met him, after he had saved me from what might’ve been a disastrous and

  deadly fall. From the very first word, when he had somehow seen through the

  mask and to the vulnerable, broken-hearted girl beneath.

  Before I could say anything else, Dair rushed at me, grabbing my waist

  and spinning me in a circle.

  He knew, just as I did, that my yes went beyond merely meeting his

  family.

  “But first,” I said, tapping his back. He immediately dropped me to my

  feet. “I want to see Slippy.”

  His nose crinkled adorably.

  “That’s an awful name for a scary ass monster,” he pointed out.

  I reached a hand up to smooth the skin between his eyes.

  “He’s the size of a small dog,” I protested.

  “He was once the size of a very large building. And, he tried to kill us.”

  I waved a hand dismissively.

  “Let bygones be bygones.”

  I didn’t know what had possessed the Kraken to attack us. Bash had

  deduced that it must’ve been a spell, designed specifically for me. To capture

  me.

  It made me...sad.

  Had Haven, the Gorgon, been acting under a spell?

  Bash must’ve somehow broken the spell on the Kraken when he had

  made it tiny. That was the only conclusion he could come up with.

  Either way, both Dair and Bash had assured me that the sea monster

  wasn’t a threat. The water had promised Dair, and Bash...well...I wasn’t sure

  how he knew, and he wasn’t in the mood to share with me.

  I hadn’t seen the blond asshole since we had left the dungeon.

  Dair took my hand and led me down the hall. He stopped only a few

  doors down, at the room I had noted during my arrival.

  Heat emanated from the open door, choking me. Sweat prickled at my

  skin.

  The room was unlike anything I had ever seen before, both beautiful and

  strange. Jagged, brown rocks lined the walls, melded together in a way that

  couldn’t be natural. The flooring abruptly switched from wooden planks to

  sand, burning my toes. At the very edge of the sand was a small pool of

  water. Waves rippled the shoreline, but from what source, I couldn’t tell.

  Slippy chirped happily when he caught sight of me, clambering out of the

  water and rubbing against my feet like a cat.

  If you hadn’t seen a Kraken before, consider yourself lucky. He was so

  ugly that it was borderline adorable. Long tentacles wrapped around my legs,

  but unlike before, it didn’t hurt. His one eye stared up at me as if I hung the

  moon.

  My stomach churned uncomfortably when I noted the dark lines grazing

  the white of his iris. From my arrow.

  I wondered if he still felt pain.

  “Do
you have anyone who could look over him? Make sure we didn’t do

  any lasting damage?” I asked Dair nervously, bending down to pick up the

  little guy. He cuddled beneath my chin, and I could’ve sworn that he was

  purring.

  Dair stared at me strangely but conceded with a nod. “I can have the

  family doctor check him out. We have five, and at least one always stays

  here.”

  Five doctors.

  I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around that, having spent years

  without any medical care at all.

  “You be a good boy for when the doctor comes, okay?” I told Slippy

  sternly. The little asshole rolled his one eye as if he actually understood me. I

  gave him a disapproving frown. “I mean it. No fish for you if you misbehave.

  I’ll feed you the shitty tuna from the marketplace.”

  That seemed to pierce his monster brain. His eye widened slightly, almost

  imperceptibly, and he wiggled to let me know he wanted down. I dropped

  him at the edge of the water, and he swam away without a glance back in my

  direction.

  I feigned sniffles.

  “They grow up so fast.” I punctuated this statement by brushing away an

  imaginary tear.

  Dair snorted, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me out

  of the hot room.

  “And you’re fucking weird. Come. Let me introduce you to my mother.”

  DAIR’S MOTHER lived in a tiny, bungalow-style house a few miles off the

  main shoreline. The white paint looked freshly coated, and a long,

  wraparound porch held two rocking chairs. Hanging plants adorned the

  awning overhead; the ground was surprisingly grass instead of sand like I’d

  expected, freshly manicured, and bedecked in shrubs and what appeared to be

  tulips. The single tree I noted earlier stood proudly in the waning sunlight, a

  brilliant collection of green leaves intermixed with a deep burgundy and light

  orange.

  It was an entire little world condensed onto a small island.

  I shouldn’t have been surprised that it was beautiful, the opulence of the

  house nearly unmatched. After all, the Mermaid Kingdom was just as

  wealthy as the Genie one.

  The seductive pulls of Envy couldn’t be ignored, even by Dair’s family.

  I smiled as I took Dair’s offered hand, stepping out of the boat. It was

  significantly smaller than the one I had ridden with Bash, but it was cute