Labeled Love

by Danielle Rocco

  “Jace!” I yell.

  “Stay in the car, baby!” he says, out of breath. I stay in place, leaning my head back on my seat and letting the tears fall I was holding back. I hear Jace yell at the guy to leave. Turning my head, I see the guy run off while Jace is looking around frantically.

  In a small voice, I repeat his name, “Jace.”

  He looks at me with concern, sweat rolling down his forehead. His eyes have lost every bit of rage that filled them moments ago as he opens my car door and pulls me out. I’m shaking. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you wait. That should’ve never happened to you. God, you’re shaking.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I tell him as he holds me tightly.

  “Yes, it is. I should have been here. You should never be here by yourself. I’m so sorry.”

  He loosens our embrace to look at me; his hands move straight to my cheeks. “He didn’t touch you, did he?”

  “No, he didn’t touch me. You came… He didn’t touch me,” I say through my shaky voice.

  With a pained expression, he declares, “If anything had happened to you, I would never forgive myself. I can’t let you come here when the center is closed.” He pulls my face slowly to his. His kiss is soft, barely brushing over my quivering lips. “I’m sorry, baby.”

  “It’s okay.” He breaks away from me as soon as the words leave my lips.

  “No, it’s not!” He runs his fingers through his hair, pulling on it—a sign I know he’s upset.

  “Jace, you’re being too hard on yourself. Nothing happened.”

  “Something could have, Shay. If I hadn’t gotten here when I did… I told you I’d be here, and I wasn’t. I couldn’t get to you.”

  “Why couldn’t you get to me?” He stops pacing and looks at me as though he wants to tell me, but he holds back. “Jace? Why couldn’t you get to me?” I repeat.

  “I just couldn’t. You don’t need to concern yourself with that.”

  “You’re just going to keep it from me? Make me wonder?”

  “Shay, I don’t want you to worry. I know you; you’ll want to fix it. You can’t fix this, baby!”

  I put my hands on my hips. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

  “This isn’t a football game with a bunch of boys who don’t want you to play. This is real life stuff.”

  “I’m good with real life stuff.”

  “Not this stuff,” he says seriously, letting out a strained breath.

  “If you would just let me come to your house, I wouldn’t have to wait here.”

  He lets out another ragged breath before he answers. “My place is worse than this.” His eyes go wide, like he told me something he didn’t want me to know. “Don’t you get it, baby? This is my life. I don’t want you around it. I don’t want you to be scared. I don’t want you to worry if some junkies are going to come up to you. I don’t want you around any of it!”

  “Stop treating me differently, Jace! Stop putting me on this pedestal like I’ll break if I fall. I’m not going to break!”

  He raises his voice. Something else he has never done with me. “But you could have. If I hadn’t shown up when I did, you could have fallen hard. What could you have done, Shay?”

  He looks at me. “I’m sorry. I’m just… You couldn’t have done anything. He could have hurt you.” Slowly, he walks up to me. “God, my life is so messed up. You deserve so much better than having a boyfriend that can’t even pick you up. You should have so much more than this.”

  “Stop it, Jace. I don’t care about all of this,” I say, waving my hands around. “I love you. That’s all that has ever mattered to me. I will never care about all of this.”

  “What if this is all I ever am?” He looks at me with raised eyebrows.

  “What do you mean?” I question.

  “I’m barely passing high school, I don’t have a lot of skills, and I don’t have a family to help me. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. What if I never get out of this? Can you honestly say that I’m going to be enough for you? Enough for your family?”

  He just knocked the wind out of me. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. After everything… how we feel about each other and you’re really questioning me if you are enough for me?” I have the car packed, complete with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut into hearts for us to eat. I have my iPod playlist set, and he’s telling me this? “Wow.” I walk back to my car, frustrated. I feel Jace behind me, making quick strides. When his strong arms wrap around me, I stop and breathe in the boy I love.

  “I didn’t mean that,” he whispers.

  “Just because my family has money doesn’t mean I have to. I don’t know how many times I can tell you. I don’t care about all of that.”

  “You don’t have to tell me. Your heart and the way you love me tell me every day you don’t care about all that stuff.” He turns me around so he can look at me. “You deserve to have the best of everything. Even if it’s not a big deal to you, I will always want to give it to you, Shay.” He tilts his head, releasing a deep breath.

  “The only thing I want you to give me right now is a day at the beach. That’s all I want to focus on.” I pause, calming my voice. “And, I would rather have this conversation in my bikini on the sand without screaming at each other.” I give him my best smile. He runs his fingers through his sexy hair one more time, pushing it away from my favorite pale blues. Grabbing me around the waist, he pulls me in to him gently.

  “Okay, pretty girl, let’s go to the beach,” he whispers into my hair. “I don’t want to argue with you. It just scared me when I saw that guy next to your car.” He releases a heavy sigh. “I really want to see you in that bikini, too. I’m ready to get wet with my girl.” He laughs while kissing my neck. In a low, sexy voice, he says, “I really need to get my mind off what just happened.”

  “I want to take your mind off what just happened,” I say, biting his earlobe lightly.

  “Man, my girl has a dirty mind.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Come on, baby. You know you had dirty intentions when you said that.”

  Pulling out of his embrace, I hit his arm. “You’re the one with a dirty mind,” I tell him. He gives me his adorably sexy smile. Turning away from him, I open my car door, jumping when he smacks my ass. “Ouch!” I say, making him laugh loudly.

  “You are so dramatic. You know that never hurts,” he declares. I don’t say a word, only bite down on my bottom lip. He’s right. It never hurts. Also, just so you know. He’s right; I am super dramatic. I could win an Oscar if I were an actress.

  Once he shuts my car door, I watch him walk around the front of my car. Stopping, he looks at me and grins mischievously. Taking the bottom of his shirt, he slowly lifts it over his head. I smile as he takes his sweet time. Finally, he pulls the shirt completely over his head and throws his hair back. I roll my eyes at him, and he chuckles. He comes around to his side of the car, gets in, and looks at me.

  “Someone’s full of himself today,” I kid.

  “Not full of myself, baby. I just know you like me shirtless when you drive.” He winks.

  “Besides, there’s only one thing I ever want to be full of,” he adds, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

  “All right, that’s enough, show-off.”

  Reaching over, he captures my lips, shutting me up. “Baby, you can kiss me all day long with the sand between our toes.” He smiles against my lips.

  “I like the sound of that.”

  “Okay?”

  “Okay, baby.”

  When we get to the beach, that’s exactly what we do.

  Kiss.

  We kiss in the water between waves, we kiss while sunbathing, and we kiss while throwing the football together. We kiss and kiss and kiss all day long.

  “ARE YOU HUNGRY?” I ask. Jace looks at me like that was a dumb question, so I take that as a “yes”. Getting out our comfy blanket that we use whil
e watching the sun set, I lay it down, away from our beach towels. Jace goes over to my beach bag and pulls out the food I brought. “My favorite,” he says, smiling. I know what he loves. He sets everything onto our blanket. The beach is quieting down, with only a few older couples walking along the shore. One has their dog with them.

  Jace sits down behind me while I nestle myself between his legs. It’s already getting a little chilly. He hands me my sandwich. Leaning back against him, I take a bite. Both of his hands are still rooted in the sand.

  “What’s wrong?” I say, taking another big bite.

  “Nothing’s wrong. Everything is perfect,” he says sweetly. Leaning up, I turn my head so I can see his face. As he looks down at me, his hair falls in his eyes, and he throws it back. I love when he does that. I don’t think he knows how good-looking he really is.

  “Eat your sandwich, baby,” I tell him, leaning back.

  “I will,” he says. I start to sit up so he can use his hand. “Nope, don’t move pretty girl. I love when I feel your body against me.” He picks up his sandwich, taking little bites of it while I devour mine. I keep my head turned to the side against his warm skin so I can watch him. He’s savoring every bite of his sandwich, causing my heart to soar and to break at the same time. I hate knowing he doesn’t get peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without me. “Look out into the ocean, baby.” I sit up, looking out. “What do you see?” he says.

  “I see water. Endless amounts of water.”

  “That’s right, baby. It’s endless. Just like my love for you, Shay. Endless, baby.”

  “Infinite love, baby.” I lean back into him. “My swoony boy.” He chuckles. “Sing me a song,” I tell him while he takes another bite.

  “You’re the singer, not me,” he answers.

  “That’s not true. You have such a good voice.”

  “You think I have a good voice?” Reaching around, he runs his peanut butter finger over my lips. Opening my mouth, I let him slide his finger inside, so I can suck off all the peanut butter.

  “I love your voice. It’s sexy and sultry.”

  “What you just did was sexy,” he says, sticking his peanut butter-licked finger into his mouth and sucking on it, pulling it out with a pop. He leans into me and hums one of my favorite songs softly, sending shivers up and down my arms. Then he kisses my earlobe. “I just kid around when we sing.”

  “Sing for me.” I pout.

  “How about I play and you sing?”

  “I love when we play together,” I tell him. He always says he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life. I know if he wanted to pursue a career in music he could. He has everything the industry looks for: he can play the guitar, his voice is dreamy, and he is good-looking. Wait. I don’t know if I could handle the attention he would get from the girls. That would totally suck. I would never be selfish, only supporting him if that were what he wanted. Sucking in a breath, I say, “You could join a band. You’re so swoony. I could just see you rocking out on stage.”

  “Nah, I don’t want to do that. Besides, I only want to swoon you.”

  I stand up, putting my hair into a loose bun. I watch as Jace leans over and grabs my guitar. Picking it up with one hand, his stomach muscles flex. He has no idea how sexy he really is. “Hey, where did my boy go?”

  “I’m right here,” he says sweetly.

  “No, I mean, my boy got all manly on me.”

  He sets the guitar down on the blanket and reaches up, pulling me down with him. He nuzzles against me, running his cheek against mine. “What do you mean ‘all manly,’ baby?”

  “What’s with this facial hair? Where’s my boy with his soft, sweet face?” I ask, bringing my hand up to caress his cheek.

  He leans back, bringing me closer against him. The setting sun is causing him to squint. “My face isn’t sweet anymore?” He takes his long fingers and rubs his light, scruffy cheek. “You don’t like my manly scruff? I’ll shave it.”

  “No, no. I love it. I’m just giving you a hard time. It’s just…”

  “It’s just what, pretty girl?”

  “I just don’t ever want to lose us. You know, when we’re just kids.”

  He chuckles. “I think we kind of have to grow up.”

  “I know that, silly,” I say, rolling my eyes.

  He gets serious. “You’re never going to lose your boy. Don’t ever worry about that. Baby face, scruffy face, I’m always going to be your boy.” He cups each of my sun-kissed cheeks. “I love you, Shay.”

  I pull his face to mine and kiss him. It’s always the same. I get lost in him. I think the best kisses have to be the slow ones. You know, those passionate kisses you can feel all over your body. The way he holds my face and licks his lips while holding my gaze. The way he dips his head, softly brushing his lips against mine. The way he softly moans. The way his tongue explores mine… always like it’s the first time he’s tasted me.

  “God, I want you, baby,” he says, laying me down on our blanket. He lies on top of me, putting one hand underneath me, giving my butt a little squeeze. I look up into the bright pink sky as he kisses my chest with his warm mouth. He licks his lips as he traces each breast, making me breathless under his touch. The ocean breeze has set in. Closing my eyes, I breathe him in as he rests his body gently over mine. “I love you so much.” He dips down lower, kissing my stomach. His hand finds my bare thigh. I can feel his love and desire on every inch of my skin. I want him. “I can’t wait to be inside you,” he breathes against my stomach, causing butterflies to flutter. Okay, I wasn’t expecting to hear him say that.

  “I can’t wait until you are inside me,” I whisper as I run my fingers through his soft hair. He groans, lifting himself off me and pulling me onto his side. He rains light kisses down my neck.

  “You always smell so good,” he says, trailing his nose up and down my skin while slowly breathing me in. He kisses my collarbone. Groaning again, he sits up quickly, like he’s fighting temptation. I bite my lip and smile. He gives me a sideways glance with a grin as he grabs the guitar. “What do you want me to play for you, pretty girl?”

  I sit up on my elbows and look out into the water. Turning my face to him, I say, “Anything. I just want to hear you sing.”

  “All right, your wish is my command.” I turn on my side and watch him. “But, you sing it,” he says, letting those sexy hands strum softly over the chords. I watch in awe at how at ease he has become. I remember the first day I taught him and how his fingers clumsily found the chords. How he looked up into my eyes every time I told him to place his fingers on another string. How his black hair fell in his eyes, and he tried to throw it back without removing his fingers while his eyes never left mine. Just like right now. He nods his head for me to begin singing, and when I do, he quietly sings along. His pale blues are filled with love as he looks into my soul.

  I have always been taught to give people my full attention when they are speaking to me. In other words, make eye contact so they know when you speak to them that you are fully engaged in what they’re saying. I always have, but never have I felt the intense emotional connection from anyone that I’ve made eye contact with, until I met Jace. There is so much in his eyes when he looks at me.

  Love.

  That is the only way to describe it. Love at first sight… soul mates… meant to be. Does that give you an idea of what I feel? My life would never be fulfilling if I could not look into those eyes. Isn’t it funny how something so simple can be so incredibly life changing? That’s what happened the day I met Jace. My life changed. The second I looked into his eyes and saw how he looked at me, I knew there would only ever be him. The depth of emotion could only be described as love. I can talk to guy friends all day long. They can flirt, and their jokes can make me laugh, but I have never felt anything for them. And, I have some good-looking guy friends, so it’s not about looks. It’s about connection.

  Some people are shallow, and mostly look at the outer beauty of someone,
never really looking into their soul. I think you can find love anywhere, with anyone, if you really open your eyes and look. You shouldn’t have to look, though. I surely wasn’t looking for love in the sixth grade. I just happened to find it at a run-down community center in the middle of Los Angeles, with a boy that I probably would never have found had I not gone to where he was. I think about that a lot. How much different my life would be if I hadn’t found Jace. He is the definition of love for me, and the thought of never finding him and probably just finding someone to love but not really finding my true love saddens me.

  Thankfully, my wish was granted, and I found Jace and, well, the fact that he is the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen is kind of a bonus. I will cherish him and love him forever.

  After a couple of songs, I mention our little run-in earlier today. I’m ready to ask some questions. Some questions I’ve never asked, but I want to know the answers. I think we are way past the stage of denial. Jace grabs his sandwich, pops the rest into his mouth, and falls back onto the blanket, bringing me with him.

  “You make the best P&Js, baby.” He pulls me on top of him again. My hair falls out of the loose bun I put it in, falling in my face. He reaches up, putting it behind my ears while looking at me. He’s not just looking, though. He’s studying me. “You know how much you mean to me, right?” I wiggle on top of him. “Shay?” he says in a whispered tone.

  “What?” I whisper back.

  “You make me crazy.”

  I frown. “I’m sorry if I upset you today—”

  He cuts me off as he pushes up into me. “I’m not talking about what happened today,” he says, pulling me down to his waiting lips. Okay, he’s definitely not talking about earlier. He moans against my mouth. “I want to be inside you… right now.”

  “I know you do. You already told me that,” I say, laughing. He kisses me sloppily. “Jace! You taste like peanut butter, sloppy boy.” I wipe my mouth. All right, I know what he meant, but I wasn’t expecting what he just said. That was so sexy. God, why do I have to be a good girl? Any other girl I know would be pushing her bikini bottom to the side and letting him slide in.