Labeled Love

by Danielle Rocco

“Mr. Stark is a great man. He loves his family, and it’s obvious he wants the best for all his kids. I just need him to see that I’m working toward my goal.”

  “And, what’s your goal?”

  “My goal has always been to look at his daughter for the rest of my life.”

  “Well, let’s go check out a moody café for you to sing sappy songs at. I need a coffee anyway.”

  WE PICK UP flyers at some of the local coffee houses. All the managers I speak with are really cool and eager for me to come check out their open mic nights.

  On our way out the door of one café, a guy stops Landon and me. “Hey, I heard you say you play the guitar. We’re looking for someone in our band.”

  I scratch the back of my neck. “I’m not looking to be in a band.”

  “Oh, so you’re a solo guy, huh?”

  “No, I’m not a solo guy.”

  “How long have you been playing?”

  I think about it for a minute, not really realizing I’ve been playing for as long as I have. “I guess around seven years.”

  “My name’s Garrett.” He smiles. “We’re holding auditions tomorrow morning.”

  “I’m Jace.” We shake hands. He has tattoos all over his arms and a piercing in his lip. Not my thing, but it works for him. “What are the auditions for?”

  “Really at this point, everything. It’s me and a couple of buddies I’ve grown up with, and we’re looking for some more talent.”

  “Like I said, I’m not looking to be in a band.” He keeps talking even though I’ve told him twice I’m not interested, but since he’s enthusiastic, I hear him out.

  “We already have a little following at some of the local places, and we get playing time and money for the gigs. At least come out and check us out,” he says. I wasn’t going to until he mentioned money.

  “All right,” I tell him. We exchange numbers. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I don’t know what will come of this, but it’s the first step to something.

  We walk out the door, and Landon looks over at me as his takes a drink from his coffee. “So, you’re going to join a band?”

  “Hell no, I’m not joining a band. I want to be with my girl, not be away from her all the time. But, I will go check them out. If they do a few local venues and I can fill in until they find a permanent guitarist, then I will for some extra money.”

  I’m sure Shay will be excited. I’m going to hold off telling her until I know what these guys are all about. If they’re about making music, I’ll consider playing a few gigs with them, if they like what I can do. If they’re a bunch of guys that just want to party and get girls, I’m not even going to tell her about it. This is just about getting some experience. I’m making music with my girl, not joining a fucking band.

  “HOW ARE YOU going to wear your hair tonight?” I ask Jules as she comes bouncing into my room.

  “I don’t know, maybe in a bun. It’s a little humid out. I don’t want my hair to get big,” she replies.

  “Get big?” I ask.

  She grabs my brush and runs her long, straight, blonde hair through it, smoothing it down. Jules has amazing hair. “You know, like frizzy from the humidity. That’s why people in places like Florida have bad hair. Thank God, California has no humidity. There’s a reason California girls are known to be the prettiest, Shay.”

  “You’re so vain, Jules.”

  “I’m not vain. It’s just the truth. California breeds beauty,” she says. I giggle at her blunt words.

  “I see Fumbles is here,” she adds.

  “Whose Fumbles?”

  “Beau, you dork.”

  “Why do you call him Fumbles?”

  She rolls her wide eyes. “Don’t you remember when he fumbled the football during the championship game his senior year in high school? He cost his team the title.”

  “That’s just plain mean, Jules.” I walk to my closet as Beau peeks into my room. I hope he didn’t hear her. She can be so loud at times.

  “Are you dressed in here?” he asks.

  Jules spits out in irritation, “No, we’re totally naked. Get out!”

  “Jules!” I give her the dirtiest look. She just sticks her tongue out at me. I turn to Beau. “Yes, we’re dressed. Come in.”

  Beau glances cautiously around my room, his eyes landing on Jules first. She looks away from him, busying herself by glossing her lips in my floor-length mirror. I walk to my bed, laying out a couple outfits to choose from. “I just wanted to make sure you knew with all these parties you’re going to right now that you can call me if you need me. I’ll be in town all summer before I have to go back on location this fall.”

  “Aw, the protective big brother,” Jules says sarcastically. He just looks at me, completely ignoring Jules, even though I’m sure he wants to tell her off.

  “Thanks, Beau. I’ll be fine. I don’t really drink anything.”

  “Okay, just don’t hesitate.”

  “I won’t. I love you,” I tell him as he walks out of my room.

  “You spray way too much of that stuff in here. I already have a headache from inhaling it,” he says, pausing to lean on the doorframe.

  “What can I say? I love smelling like paradise.”

  He shakes his head. “Whatever. Have fun tonight.”

  Jules waits until she hears Beau down the hall. “Is he still dating Mila?”

  With a frustrated sigh, I answer her, “I don’t know. He doesn’t bring her around here.”

  She shrugs her shoulders. “So, what are we wearing tonight? This is the epic party of the year. The big send-off.”

  “Yeah. The big send-off. Time to start our lives, right?”

  “Yup, time to make some big decisions, Starkie.”

  “Oh, I’ve made some big decisions.”

  “What decisions are they?”

  “You’ll see soon.”

  I haven’t told Jules about the plans Jace and I have made about starting a career in music together, and I haven’t told her Jace asked me to marry him, either. He doesn’t want anyone to know until he’s ready to talk to my parents.

  “You’re so damn secretive, Shay,” she says. I just laugh her off.

  WALKING BACK INTO the only home I’ve ever known, I see beer cans strewn across the table, an overflowing ashtray, and the ever-present smell of a dirty bar. I shut the door behind me, close my eyes, and lean back against the door.

  “It’s not how you start; it’s how you finish,” whispers in my ear, reminding me that I’m in control of my life. I push off the door and walk into Grace’s room to see if she’s in there. When I open the door, she’s sitting on her bed. “What are you doing, Grace?” I look around her room. She’s the only one in here. I take in a breath when she looks up to me.

  “I’m… just… sitting here,” she slurs.

  “I can see that.” She gets up and stumbles. “Where are you going?”

  “I’m just getting my cigarettes.” She brushes past me. I tug at my hair. What will I do? I mean, how the hell am I going to be able to take care of her if I’m not living here anymore? What will happen to her? I turn and walk out to where she is.

  “Mom, I want you to get help.” She lights her cigarette and blows the smoke toward the ceiling.

  “What did you say?”

  “I said, I want you to get help. You need to get help. I’ve tried… but you’ve never listened to me.”

  “I don’t need help, Jace. I’m fine.”

  “That’s the thing, Grace. You’re not fine, and you never have been. Do you think I’m going to live here forever? I’m not. I’m getting ready to start my life… I might be moving in with my girl before long. I can’t be here, and I don’t want you by yourself.”

  “I’m fine on my own. I have been for a long time… No one has worried about me. It’s always just been me for so long…” she trails off.

  I close my eyes, letting her hurtful words sink in. “That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve been right here with you. You�
��ve just never seen me.”

  She brings her eyes up to mine. “I’ve always seen you, Jace. You’re my son.”

  I swallow my emotion. All I’ve ever wanted was for her to see me, and maybe she has, but she’s never loved me. She looks down, as one single tear escapes my eye. “You’re an alcoholic. I want you to get help before it kills you,” I say as she butts out her cigarette.

  I wait for her to reply, but she just stands there looking at the nasty carpet. After a few seconds, her demeanor changes. “Like I said, I don’t need any help, and if you want to leave me, go ahead. Everyone else did. Why should you be any different?”

  “I’m not leaving you. I said I might be moving out… If things go the way I hope, I’m going to be living with Shay. We’re going to make music together. I’m going to start a life with my girl. Did you hear me, Grace? I’m doing something good with my life.”

  Walking past me, she makes her way into the kitchen. Bitterly, she says, “I hope you didn’t make her promises you can’t keep.”

  “You always think the worst. I love Shay more than anything in this entire world. I would never hurt her, ever. I don’t have to make promises. Everything I say and do has always been with her in mind.”

  “Well, good luck with that,” she spits out, grabbing a beer from the refrigerator. She walks back to her room. I stand there in silence when I hear her door shut. She always shuts me out. I will never shut Shay out.

  I grab the key to my bike, needing to get some fresh air. I can’t let Grace’s negativity ruin my excitement. She’s chosen her life, now I’m choosing mine. When I take off, I really don’t know where I’m going, but I end up at Runyon Canyon. I park my bike, making my way up the trail that Shay and I took. I just feel like clearing my head. When I reach the top of Inspiration Point, I sit on the wooden bench. My eyes roam all the names engraved in the wood until I find ours. Jace and Shay Forever Love. I run my fingers over our names, just like I did with Shay when I finished carving them that day.

  “Let’s make music together, baby. Maybe we can live here.”

  Her voice echoes all over this mountainside to the valley below, sweet sounds of a life of love. “Hold on just a little longer, baby. I’m going to give you a life full of love.”

  I walk up to the hillside. It reminds me of the mountain. You know, that one so long ago I would be willing to climb? I’ve been climbing. I look over the edge and see how far down the bottom is. It’s pretty damn far. There’s no way in hell I’m falling now. My girl is at the top, and that’s where I’m going to be. I make my way down the trail and head out to pick something up for Shay.

  When I get home, I take a shower to get ready for the party where I’m meeting Shay. As I grab a white T-shirt out of my drawer, a folded piece of paper catches my eye. I take it out and unfold it.

  Shit.

  I forgot to send her this. It’s the letter I wrote her after we spent the night in her family’s condo. Damn, I wanted to give this to her. I throw my T-shirt on, grab the letter, and read it one more time before I seal it.

  When I opened my eyes this morning, I thought it was a dream. Me, you, wrapped up together like a fairy tale come true. Words could never truly explain how I felt when I opened my eyes to see you there, looking back at me, holding you, you holding me. It’s all I’ve ever dreamt since the moment I laid eyes on you so long ago. I don’t ever want to know what it feels like to not be like this, especially now that we’ve experienced it.

  With your scent all around me, I inhale your love, baby.

  Complete and utter bliss.

  From the moment I laid eyes on you, that’s all I’ve ever felt.

  I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW I FEEL.

  No matter where we are. No matter what we do. You will always be

  everything to me…

  I forgot to sign it, so I grab the pink pen I keep on my dresser and write my name.

  I love you, baby. Love, your boy, Jace

  I seal it with a big heart and the words I forgot this one. I love you, pretty girl. I’ll put it in the mail on my way out to the party. I call Landon, letting him know what time to pick me up. I hang up the phone, and for the first time, I really feel like I can be worthy of my girl, like our fairy tale is going to come true. Finally, we’re going to start our forever. I’m going to make her proud.

  Of course, Grace isn’t home, so I look around one more time, turn off the kitchen light, lock the door, and leave the apartment behind.

  WALKING DOWN the long hallway leading to the kitchen, I briefly stop and look at the picture my mom just added to the wall. It’s from my graduation. The whole family is in it, including my boy. Jace has his arm around me, perfectly fitting into our family. Happiness. That’s all I feel as I walk into the kitchen.

  I hear my mom’s voice before I see her. She’s by the door leading to the side yard, gathering a basket of oranges. “I just want you to know how proud we are of you, Shay. You really have grown up to be an amazing girl.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” I grab a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.

  “What time is this epic party tonight?” she asks me over her shoulder.

  “It’s kind of an all day event. I’m sure most people are already there. You know Jules. She has to be fashionably late.”

  “Of course, she does. Well, your dad and I are going out with Uncle T,” she tells me, using Jules’ Dad’s nickname. “Tristan and Tatum will be at friends tonight, so have fun.” She grabs a few oranges, adding them to the basket. “Is Jace going to be with you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m sure you two will have fun, and be careful.” She runs her fingers through her pretty light brown hair.

  My dad walks into the kitchen. “Lets get going, Melody.” He walks over and picks up the basket for her before looking at me. “Make sure you are responsible with all these parties you go to.”

  “We are always responsible,” I say. He smiles, and they walk out of the kitchen. Leaning against the counter, I inhale the entire bottle of water. I still have some time before I have to get ready, so I go lounge by the pool for a while to get some sun.

  Jules is right. It’s a little humid today. I close my eyes, letting the sun beat down on me. I wish Jace and I were at the beach right now. An incoming call interrupts my thoughts. Grabbing my phone, I answer, “Hey.”

  “Hey, pretty girl,” Jace says. I sigh. His voice never gets old. It’s deep and playful and just so sexy.

  “I want to be at the beach, just the two of us right now. I want the sand between our toes. I want your arms around me as you twirl me in the water with my eyes closed.”

  I hear him take a shuddering breath. “Baby, one day, I promise you, we will wake up every day with your cute little toes in the sand. I will bring you a cup of coffee outside, while you watch the sun rise. One day, you will have that.” He chuckles sweetly. I can almost see his smile as he tells me everything he wants to give me. “It will be the most peaceful time in the morning, baby. Just you and me before…” He pauses.

  “Before what, Jace?” Nothing. “Jace?”

  “I’m just thinking. Before all those little babies come running through the sand after us.”

  “I can’t wait for that.”

  “Me, too, pretty girl. Me, too.”

  “I love you more than anything, Jace. That will never change.”

  “Even if I give you a bunch of little blue-eyed boys, I’m still going to be your number one?” he asks me.

  I think about something my dad once told me about his love for my mom. “You will always be my number one, Jace. Because if it wasn’t for you, I would never have any of those future kiddies, right?”

  “Right,” he says with his adorable laugh.

  “So, yeah, you kind of always will come first to me, baby. And, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I get quiet. “I just want you to know how much I love you, Jace. You will always be my number one boy,” I repeat.

  “You always have, and alw
ays will be my only girl, Shay. You’re the only girl I’ve ever seen,” he says. I giggle.

  “I’m not the only girl you’ve ever seen, silly. Girls are everywhere you look. You can’t help but have to look at other girls,” I tease. Now he chuckles.

  “You know what I mean, Shay. If I have to look at the girl selling me a pack of gum, well, then yeah, I look at her for a minute. But, baby, I’ve only ever seen you.”

  “Jace?”

  “Yeah, baby.”

  “I started writing our song the day we met. I remember going home and calling Jules and telling her I had fallen in love. She told me I was only twelve, and there was no way I fell in love, but I didn’t care what she said. I knew how I felt when I looked at you. There was something in the way you looked at me, and there was something in the way I felt that told me deep down in my soul that I had just looked into the eyes of the boy I would love forever. I started our love song that day. And, all these years later, our love just keeps getting stronger.”

  “We will always be strong, Shay.”

  “We’ve never had to struggle to love each other, never, not once. We’ve never even fought.” I pause, thinking back to when Cole sent those text messages. “Well, that one time—”

  “I know what you’re thinking,” he cuts me off. “We didn’t fight, Shay. You never did anything wrong, baby. It was just hard for me to think about Cole being there with you when I couldn’t. And, I wouldn’t be telling you the truth if I said I wasn’t mad. I was, but never at you. I was mad, jealous, and honestly, I was hurt. And, never once had I felt any of those emotions when it came to you. I mean, jealous, yeah, I’d felt that. I’m always jealous of the time others have had with you. Never once have I questioned our love. I don’t care how old we are. God, baby, I love that you have been my one and only, and that I’ve only been yours. I think that’s the greatest gift, so when I say you’re my girl, and you say I’m your boy… baby, that’s special.”

  “Jace, you always say the swooniest things.”

  “I don’t try to be swoony, baby. It’s just the truth.”