High Sobriety
Page 31
That’s the challenge ahead for me. I don’t want to be counting drinks and prostrating myself if I have a big night. But I’d like to feel that if I get drunk it’s a choice, not an accident. If it turns out that I can’t choose productive Sunday mornings over Saturday nights I don’t enjoy and can’t remember, or if I can’t choose getting things done over feeling done in, maybe I’ll have to part company with my old friend booze for good. Whatever happens, I know now that alcohol does not define me. Getting drunk does not make me more Scottish or Australian, nor does it make me a better daughter, friend, aunty, or sister. I don’t need a beer in my hand to be accepted as a journalist, a writer, or a footy fan. I stayed sober for more than a year, and I was still all of those things. Without booze, I loved, laughed, and lost. Life did not stop. But it certainly did change.
IF YOU’RE READING this with a head that feels like a bag of sand and a stomach that could churn butter, you’ll know by now that I feel your pain. Those drunken adventures can be hilarious, but the hangovers are usually far less fun.
If you feel like it’s time for a spell on dry land, there is a rope to help pull you there. At the time of going to print, more than 5500 people have signed up to Hello Sunday Morning to take a break from drinking. That’s 5500 people, all with their own boozy stories to share, as they support and inspire you while you navigate your way through a sober world for three, six, or 12 months.
A key to lasting the distance is writing about the challenges of life without alcohol. It helps to keep you motivated and accountable, and allows you to set goals to tick off during your abstinence. And when you commit those words to the page, it can throw up surprising insights into how, why, and when you drink. That’s what makes HSM so different from its peers. If you’re keen to give it a go, you can find them at their website: hellosundaymorning.com.au.
If three months feels like too long, there are month-long options, too.
• Febfast: febfast.org.au
• Dry July: dryjuly.com
• Ocsober: ocsober.com.au
They all have a fundraising element, so you’re not only giving your body a break, but you can donate to a good cause as you do so.
They also give you the chance to buy a ‘leave pass’ or a ‘golden ticket’, releasing you for a day from your temporary booze ban for special occasions. But while that system is a great way of raising more money for worthy causes, I’m not sure it helps you to get the most out of the experience. For me, the whole point of giving up alcohol was to see how I’d cope with those big life events without reaching for the bottle; buying my way out of the challenge for a wedding or a birthday would have felt like cheating.
Still, a month off the grog is a great way to test yourself, and you might enjoy it so much you take a longer challenge.
If you want to know more about how to reduce your risk of alcohol-related health problems, the National Health and Medical Research Council has it covered: nhmrc.gov.au/your-health/alcohol-guidelines.
Acknowledgements
WHEN I WAS writing this book, I had an outstanding support crew. True friends are those who see you at your worst — during the tears, tantrums, and trips down the rabbit hole — and love you anyway. For that, I thank you, Nat, Mel, and Bach; and I also thank you for your endless patience and advice, and for those days at work when you put me back together and reminded me to keep breathing.
Likewise, Amy, my rock, thanks for those long telephone conversations well into the night. When I was so confused that I couldn’t see straight, you made the path ahead clear.
Lisa, my oldest friend, and one of the most incredible women I know, thank you so much. Without your help, the hardest parts of this book might never have been written.
Similarly, Mari-Claire, your open heart and willingness to listen saved me from being pulled under when things were bleak. I’ll never forget it.
Ben, my very first proofreader — I’m so grateful for your generosity, honesty, and PR disaster-planning. Your kind words sustained me, and gave me faith that I was on the right track.
The advice from my publishing friends, Bridget and Bronwyn, was priceless. You helped me to negotiate a foreign land and made sure I enjoyed the journey along the way.
Book club girls, your passion for literature and for language continues to inspire me. Thanks for letting me take part in our boozy book critiques — even without the booze!
To the good people from my writers’ group — particularly Bek, who also helped with my research — your suggestions with those ugly early chapters were greatly appreciated.
And kudos to you, Timmy, the pillar that props up our inner-north crew, for not questioning why a journalist/would-be-author didn’t have her own printer when I asked to print a 300-page manuscript on yours, 12 hours before deadline.
Chris Raine, who navigated this year-long boozeless odyssey before me, and talked me down from the ledge when those bottles of wine became too tempting, thanks for letting me be part of the extraordinary movement you started.
At Scribe, thanks to Henry Rosenbloom and Julia Carlomagno for taking a punt on this binge-drinking health reporter. Your judicious and gentle editing made the process far less painful than I’d anticipated. Thanks also to Allison Colpoys and Miriam Rosenbloom for the kick-arse cover art, to Ian See for the diligent proofreading, and to Cora Kipling for making me feel less terrified about the prospect of publicity.
To my former Sunday Age editor Gay Alcorn, thanks for your support and patience as I took time off to finish this book. I’m a better writer for having you as a mentor. Thanks also to your successor, Mark Forbes, for being so accommodating about my book commitments.
I’m incredibly grateful to all the people in the alcohol and drug sector who have helped me, not only with this book, but also throughout my six years of covering alcohol issues for The Age and The Sunday Age. But I’d particularly like to thank Jon Currie, Rob Moodie, John Rogerson, and Geoff Munro, who have gone out of their way to assist me from day one. Special mention to Renee Lustman, too, for assisting with my research, and for never being flummoxed by my many requests, no matter how obscure.
To my friends Nick, Cat, Tony, and Brigitte, thanks for sharing your experiences with (and without) alcohol. Your generosity made my job easy. Likewise, to all the people in Australia and Scotland who I interviewed — colleagues, fellow HSM-ers, academics, specialists, and strangers — I can’t thank you enough for your insights into our drinking culture. You told your stories with lived knowledge, honesty, and bravery. This is as much your book as mine.
Above all, I’m indebted to the two women who grounded me, nurtured me, put up with my erratic moods, and made sure that I ate and left the house during that long summer of writing — my soul sisters, Loretta and Kath. Thank you doesn’t even come close. Your friendship is my anchor.
And I couldn’t have written this book without the support of my incredible family. Neil, Ker, Daisy, and Orla — my personal cheer squad — your encouragement gives me the belief that I can do anything. Dad, thank you for the writing genes you passed on, and for your unwavering faith in me throughout my life. Your love and support have helped me more than you’ll ever know. Mum, you taught me the importance of living life as if no-one’s watching. Thank you (and sorry) for all those late-night, incoherent phone calls, for dancing with me on bar tops and in steam trains, and for loving me with a ferocity that makes the miles irrelevant.
Finally, to Fiona, the girl I have loved my whole life — heartfelt thanks for a friendship that continues to nourish and inspire me, and most of all for letting me share Jude’s life with the world. Your sparkly little boy has changed everything.
Contents
1 About the Author
2 Title Page
3 Copyright Page
4 Dedication
5 Prologue
6 Before
7 January
8 February
9 March
10 April
11 May
12 June
13 July
14 August
15 September
16 October
17 November
18 December
19 After
20 Afterword
21 Acknowledgements