Seasons of Sorrow

by C. C. Wood

  She hung up immediately after, unable to believe how cold and unfeeling her husband was. When they first met, he seemed to understand her needs and desires better than she did. After they had been married a few years, he had cooled toward her, but Charlotte assumed it was just Derek settling down and, sadly, taking her for granted. Which she always thought was normal. Now she was beginning to understand that he wasn’t just settling into the marriage, he had been distancing himself from their relationship.

  Charlotte pulled herself out of the memory. She had things to do today. Just as she finished putting on her jewelry and checking her make-up, her cell phone rang. Charlotte grabbed her phone and her coffee and headed out of the bedroom, downstairs to the kitchen.

  “Hey, Brandy,” she said as she answered.

  “You doing okay this morning?” Brandy asked.

  Charlotte rolled her eyes. Brandy was getting to be worse than a mother hen. Still, she appreciated her friend’s concern after so many years of indifference from her husband.

  “I’m fine. I’m ready and not even a little bit nervous,” Charlotte reassured her.

  “Okay. I just wanted to check.” Brandy paused. “Let’s go out for happy hour when you get off, okay? We haven’t done that in forever.”

  Charlotte walked into the kitchen and put her coffee cup in the sink. “I don’t know, Brandy.”

  Her friend shushed her. “I know you’re hurting, Charlotte. I understand. I’m not trying to make you stop, only to ease the burden for a short while. Eventually, you’ll have to return to the real world. It will be easier if you don’t remove yourself completely from reality. It’s just one evening; you, me, and maybe Greg. We all need it.”

  Charlotte knew that Brandy was right. Her friends had literally been carrying her through the last six weeks. They needed a break from the burden of her emotions. Even if she didn’t truly want to go out and find normalcy again, it was the least she could do for them to pretend for one night that her world would eventually be whole again.

  “Okay. We’ll do happy hour,” she relented.

  “Good. I’ll text Greg and tell him to meet us. I’ll let you know what time.” She stopped for a second. “Now, I want you to try to have a good first day of work. Don’t make your new boss feel too much like a slob and unorganized child. I realize that your brain works magic with numbers and efficiency, but have pity on the poor souls who aren’t as blessed.”

  Charlotte smiled. Genuine smiles of happiness happened more naturally now, though it wasn’t often. It helped that her friend went out of her way to draw them out of her.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  They disconnected and Charlotte got her things together and headed into the garage to her car. She climbed into her car and headed to work for the first time in years, but, for the first time in weeks, she felt the dark weight of her grief lighten slightly.

  Charlotte walked out to her car after a day that seemed to last an eternity. Her new boss, Brandon, was a very nice guy. He guided her through her responsibilities and introduced her to the staff. Still, it took tremendous energy to just go through the motions. By five in the afternoon, she was exhausted.

  She was extremely tempted to call Brandy and cancel their happy hour date. Charlotte even picked up her phone and started to dial. Then she put it down. Greg and Brandy had done so much for her. They needed a break from the sorrow that seemed to remain around her like a cloud. She could hold herself together for one night for their sake.

  Charlotte climbed into her car and headed out of the parking lot. Brandy wanted to meet at Gloria’s since the happy hour drinks were not only yummy but the cheapest in town. By five-thirty she pulled into a parking spot at the restaurant. She spotted Greg striding up to the front door.

  Sucking in a deep, steadying breath, Charlotte climbed out of the car and headed into Gloria’s. Brandy and Greg had managed to snag a table even though the place was packed. They both gave her hugs when she approached the table.

  “Hey, babe,” Brandy greeted her. “How was the first day?”

  Charlotte gave her a small smile. “It was good. Brandon seems like a good guy and a good boss.”

  Greg studied her for a moment. “That’s a lot of good. Why does it sound like that is a bad thing?”

  She shrugged, embarrassed that Greg had seen through her brave face. “It’s just a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

  “What is?” Brandy asked.

  “Pretending to be normal,” Charlotte replied.

  Both her friends sat back in their chairs and she wanted to kick herself. She wanted tonight to be nice for them. It was selfish for her to keep dragging them down into dark thoughts that plagued her.

  Greg surprised her. He leaned forward and placed his hand over hers. “You are normal, Char. Your entire life just changed and you’re allowed to experience whatever emotions you have. You don’t have to hide them from us. If you’re angry, then yell. If you’re sad, then cry. If something makes you happy, don’t be afraid to smile. There is no handbook for grief. You have to take things as they come.”

  Charlotte stared at Greg, her lips slightly parted. Everything he said made sense and it also helped her let go of her guilt about not holding on to her brave face.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Greg squeezed her hand lightly one more time before releasing it. “Now, tell us about your new job.”

  Charlotte told them a little about what she would be doing at the construction firm. She was grateful when Greg started talking about new clients he was dealing with at work. He was careful not to mention Derek, and Charlotte was grateful for that. She didn’t want to know how he was doing.

  Brandy seemed a bit withdrawn but eventually joined in, telling funny stories of things that had happened in court and how one of the particularly arrogant partners at her firm had received a set-down by a judge.

  They ended up eating dinner together, sharing fajitas family-style. It was the first time in a long while that Charlotte felt even a little like her old self. Eating dinner with her two best friends like they used to do in college before she married Derek made her feel better, for a while at least.

  By the end of the evening, Charlotte had to admit that Brandy was right to push her into having a night out. After the stress of the day, sitting at home and thinking about Adam, her new job, her asshole of a husband, and the three thousand other things that wanted to crowd into her brain would have been the worst thing she could have done.

  After they finished eating, Greg insisted on paying. Brandy and Charlotte tried to argue, but he merely slid the waiter his card before they could stop him.

  “It’s not everyday I get to take two gorgeous women out to dinner,” he teased.

  “Laying it on a little thick, aren’t you?” Brandy asked, winking at Charlotte.

  “Of course not,” Greg replied.

  Charlotte said her goodbyes after their good-natured tiff and headed home alone. She walked into her dark, empty house and immediately felt any lingering lightness of the evening disappear. Greg and Brandy could distract her from the numbness for a while, but, now that she was alone, it seeped back into her skin, going all the way to her bones.

  She wasn’t sure what she wanted more: the numbness or the anger. It wasn’t easy to go through the motions when she honestly wanted to do nothing but sit at Adam’s grave for hours each day. Still, she hated the anger that sometimes swelled within her, reaching up from the abyss of despair to claw at her insides and spew out of her.

  With a sigh, Charlotte moved out of her kitchen, through the house, turning on a lamp here and there so it wouldn’t be completely dark. As it was her habit every night, she went into the nursery and ran her fingers along the edge of the crib, the soft fluffy ear of a stuffed rabbit, and finally picked up a framed photo of Adam right after he was born. As she did every night, she kissed the glass covering the photo, right above his sweet face.

  Dead tired and aching with exhaustion, Ch
arlotte went into her room and changed out of her work clothes. It was only eight at night but she was so tired that all she cared about doing was sleeping. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she went downstairs to make sure everything was locked up and grab a glass of water.

  By eight-thirty, she was stretched out in her bed, dead to the world.

  Chapter Eight

  New Year’s Eve, 2003

  The party was in full swing. The little apartment Brandy and Charlotte shared managed to hold twelve people without exploding. For the first time, Charlotte didn’t feel out of place in the crowd. Every year, Brandy talked her into having a New Year’s Eve party with just a few of their friends, and, typically, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Tonight, though, she only felt happy.

  Charlotte looked around. The party wasn’t huge, but a group of this size was usually enough to make her feel itchy. The reason for the change came up behind her and put his arms around her.

  “Hey, baby. You havin’ a good time?” Derek asked in her ear.

  She tucked her chin into her chest and grinned at the floor.

  “Yeah. I’m having fun,” she answered.

  He squeezed her closer. “Good. Want something to drink?”

  Charlotte nodded.

  “Let me guess…white wine?”

  She giggled and nodded again.

  Derek tickled her a little before he released her to head for the kitchen.

  “All right, people!” Brandy jumped up on the coffee table and Charlotte held her breath. One of these days that woman was going to jump on a piece of furniture and it was going to collapse under her. “It’s almost time.” She glanced at the television as the count down started.

  “Ten, nine, eight, seven,” Brandy chanted. The rest of the people followed her lead, including Charlotte.

  Just as she reached four, a hand wound around her waist from behind. Charlotte smiled to herself and closed her eyes. Derek was going to kiss her at midnight on New Year’s. It was the first time a boyfriend had done it, but she always thought it was romantic.

  As the countdown continued, she kept her eyes closed and turned to face him. When Brandy reached one, warm, firm lips closed over hers. Charlotte felt the touch of those lips all over her body. For the first time in her life, she knew what the romance novels were talking about when the heroine’s knees went weak. Her legs threatened to give way under her.

  Still, the kiss was chaste, only their lips touching. Finally, Charlotte pulled away, smiling slightly. Without a doubt it was the best kiss of her life, sweet and gentle, but with an undercurrent of heat. It was the perfect way to ring in the New Year.

  Slowly, her eyes opened and met the blue-grey of Greg’s. Charlotte stiffened slightly. The most beautiful kiss of she’d ever experienced and she had shared it with one of her best friends, not her boyfriend.

  “Happy New Year, Charlotte.” Greg’s voice was just loud enough for her to hear it over the shouts and laughter as people kissed and hugged throughout the apartment.

  Her breath catching in her throat, she said, “Happy New Year, Gregory.”

  Suddenly, Derek was beside her, turning her into his arms, and the moment was broken. He kissed her long and hard. By the time the kiss ended, Greg was long gone and Charlotte wondered if she was the only one who felt the beauty of that moment.

  She didn’t know why, but it made her sad to think that all that wonder was one-sided. Greg disappeared not long after that. She never had a chance to speak to him about it again because, the next day, Derek proposed to her and she put thoughts of that kiss out of her head. Greg was her friend and nothing more.

  Chapter Nine

  April, Present Day

  Charlotte had been in her new job for just a little over a month. After a couple of weeks, she found that she liked it. While she didn’t have as much time to go to Adam’s grave as she used to, Charlotte found that keeping busy kept her from sliding back into the pit of despair. She still thought of her little boy every day, missed him every day, but she found that the numbness was beginning to fade slightly. As a result, she felt fragile. The memories gained an edge, a sharpness that cut each time she thought about Adam. Her grief was no longer providing a cushion of apathy. Instead, she was more sensitive and easier to anger. She found herself having to stop and take a deep breath in situations in which she normally would have more patience.

  Her grief counselor told her at each session that every person grieved in their own way. That their pain was their own and their healing happened at their own pace. Charlotte reminded herself of that every day. She also made an effort to reach out to Greg and Brandy from time to time. Of course, they didn’t let her withdraw too much. If she didn’t call one of them at least every other day, they would descend upon her house like a pair of mismatched old maids, fussing and carrying on about how she needed to take care of herself.

  Today, however, was going to be a difficult day. Derek called her two weeks before and said he arranged for them to meet to start the division of assets. Charlotte had agreed. Her lawyer was meeting her there.

  Nora Langdon was known as a shark in the Dallas area. She was also known to be a women’s advocate, helping out women who were screwed over by men they had been married to for most of their life. Since she actually knew Derek personally, Charlotte’s situation was right up her alley. She was meeting with her, Derek, and his lawyer that afternoon.

  Brandon knew she would have to leave early and wished her luck when he saw her lock up her office to head out. She merely gave him a weak smile. Her palms were sweating as she headed out to her car and drove the short distance to the law offices where Derek’s attorney was a partner.

  The only thing she truly cared about was the house. She had to keep it. Adam’s room was there, her memories of her short time with him centered around her home. She hadn’t been bluffing when she told Derek that she would fight him tooth and nail for that house. Charlotte tried to concentrate on the road as she drove, but it was difficult to keep her anxiety at bay.

  She turned into the parking garage under the high rise where the law offices were located and managed to find a decent parking spot near the elevator. The ride to the twenty-fifth floor seemed to last an eternity. When she stepped off the elevator, she followed the signs leading her to Heron, Walker, and Holt.

  Nora was waiting for her in the lobby, looking sharp and chic in a crisp navy suit.

  “Right on time,” Nora said.

  Charlotte nodded.

  Nora put a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?” she asked.

  Charlotte let out a shaky breath. “Yes. I’ll be all right. I’m just nervous. The last few times I’ve spoken with my husband, things have not gone well.”

  “They’ll go well today,” her attorney promised, a stony expression on her face.

  They sat in two comfortable arm chairs to wait for Derek and his attorney. They waited. And waited. Finally, Nora stood and went to the reception desk. She spoke with the receptionist for a few moments. Apparently she didn’t like what she was hearing because her face tightened and appeared angry. Nora said something more to the woman at the desk that had her picking up her phone quickly.

  Nora came back over to Charlotte. “We will be seeing Mr. Holt immediately.”

  “What’s wrong?” Charlotte asked.

  “I’m not sure, but I do not like the run-around I’m getting from Miss Priss at the reception desk. My educated guess: Derek isn’t here and Blake Holt is stalling for time.”

  A few moments later, a tall man came out into the lobby area. He was handsome but his smile was oily and full of fake charm. Charlotte felt her skin try to crawl off her arms. No wonder he was friends with Derek. Now that her husband was revealing his true colors, they both appeared to be cut from the same cloth.

  “Nora, what a pleasure,” he said, extending a hand to shake.

  Nora merely looked at him with distaste. “Where is your client, Blake?”

  His expressi
on turned sheepish and he dropped his hand. “I’m sure he is just running late.”

  Nora made a big show of looking at her watch. “An hour late?” she asked sarcastically.

  Charlotte watched their argument for a few moments more then the buzzing of her cell distracted her. She glanced at the screen and saw she had six missed calls and probably around twenty text messages. Alarmed, Charlotte clicked on her voicemail app and put the phone to her ear.

  “Charlie, it’s Brandy. Greg called me looking for you. I’m not sure exactly what’s going on, but it’s important. Call him back as soon as you get this.”

  Charlotte stopped the voicemail and went to her favorites list. Greg’s name was right at the top, just below Brandy’s. She dialed him and chewed on her thumbnail while the phone rang.

  “Charlie! Thank God you called me back! Where are you?” he barked.

  “I’m at the lawyer’s office to discuss the property settlement with Derek and his attorney.”

  Greg laughed but it didn’t sound as though he found anything truly funny. A chill raced over her skin.

  “What is it?” Charlotte asked.

  “Well, I think you’ll be waiting a long time to speak to Derek. Last I heard he was on a plane with his secretary, headed to a non-extradition country.”

  She shot to her feet, her purse falling to the floor. The two attorney’s stopped their bickering and focused on her, but she ignored them.

  “What do you mean, headed to a non-extradition country?”

  “Well, Charlotte, you husband has been embezzling from our company for a very long time now. Somehow he found out that I had reported him to the police and he got the hell out of town before they could arrest him.”

  Greg’s words buzzing in her ears, she looked up at Nora. “That bastard skipped town with his girlfriend.” She glared at his lawyer. “Did you know about this?” she snapped.