Breathless

by Laura Storme

  out the kinks. The least of her injuries is the four

  broken ribs on her left side and the scrapes on her

  legs; all should heal fine. She inhaled a lot of smoke

  in the fire and her lungs have been cleared of that. I

  was going to disconnect her today to try to wean

  her off the respirator and make her lung work again. She surprised us though and woke

  up. The tube is being removed now. We also

  performed a laparoscopy which revealed the

  pregnancy and allowed us to check for additional

  damage to her organs. We were unable to save

  the child, as I mentioned earlier, the miscarriage

  happened at the crash site. She's being prepared

  to be moved to Transition Care before placing her in

  a private room. Just to be sure," Dr. Maynorly

  finished and moved to the door. He opened it and

  escorted James back into Alex's room.

  Sam, Morgan and Grayson were crowding around

  her bed and she was smiling up at them. Grayson

  was standing as well, with help from Morgan and

  encouraging her to get well. James thought she

  looked like a southern belle holding court. "How are you feeling, Alex," he asked upon

  entering.

  "Okay, I guess," she whispered. "My throat

  hurts. "

  "That's alright. It's from the tube and lack of

  moisture. Maggie is going to bring you some ice

  chips to start off. You're going to be on a clear

  liquid diet for a few days. Just to make sure that

  you can keep food down and can tolerate it. Every

  day will be an improvement from here.”

  Just then Maggie bustled into the room with the ice

  chips and a spoon. She spooned some chips into

  Alex's mouth and Alex closed her eyes and let the

  cool liquid slide down her throat easing some of the

  ache there. "Better dear," asked Maggie. Alex shook her head

  affirmative and watched as the doctor left and

  James came in. "You can only stay a few more

  minutes, gentlemen. We want to move her today

  and get her settled in Transition Care before

  bedtime," she directed at them; then turning her

  attention back to Alex, "Can I get you anything

  special; how about a Popsicle?" Alex shook her

  head with the delight and asked for a banana

  one. "Coming right up," with that the nurse

  waddled out of the room to retrieve the treat for

  her patient.

  Alex smiled weakly at the group. They cleared a

  path and James stepped close to her and grasped

  her hand. He smiled down at her and tried not to

  let the disappointment of losing his child show, but

  Alex sensed something. "What is it," she croaked.

  "Nothing, Alex. You're going to be fine. Dr. Drew

  is a fabulous doctor. He said you're healing up just

  fine," replied Morgan noticing the far off look in

  James' face.

  "James," she whispered questioningly. She felt the

  tightness of James' grip and hoped that Morgan was

  being honest with her.

  "You're fine, sweetheart. You're just fine. Dr.

  Drew did a great job in putting you back together,"

  James smiled. He was happy that Alex was

  alright. But he was bitter over the loss of his

  child. He didn't blame Alex, just the cruel twist of

  fate that prevented them from ever discovering

  their child's existence. If they had been able to

  stay together, they might be rejoicing the imminent birth of their child. James choked back the

  tears. Alex almost noticed but was distracted by

  Maggie bustling back in with two orderlies to move

  her to a new room and the promised Popsicle.

  "I'm sorry to see you go sweetie. I'll check on

  you. I have asked Nancy Schaffer to take you

  on. She's the best in Transition. I wouldn't let

  anyone else tend to you," said Maggie as the

  orderlies prepared to move Alex out of her sterile

  ICU room.

  "Thank you, Maggie," whispered Alex harshly.

  "You're welcome," replied the nurse smiling as the

  orderlies wheeled her down the hall towards the

  elevators. After the orderlies left with Alex, James

  and the others prepared to follow when Maggie

  stopped them. "Take care of her boys. I know you all love her in your own ways, but she needs to

  get better," she counseled.

  "We will," replied Grayson as Sam took control of

  his wheel chair and directed them to the

  elevator. Grayson had noticed James' distracted

  look as well. He knew something was wrong.

  Once in the elevator, Grayson, Sam and Morgan all

  looked at each other. Before one of them dared to

  ask James what the doctor said.

  "She's going to be fine," he answered

  non-committedly.

  "Then why do you look like somebody just died,"

  asked Morgan.

  James' head snapped up and burned a hole into

  Morgan's face, "Because somebody did," he answered hoarsely, choking back the tears, "Alex

  lost a baby in this mess."

  "What," asked Grayson.

  "She was three weeks pregnant, possibly, when Tad

  interfered; our child, a baby with Alex's beautiful

  eyes and her smile and a shock of red

  hair. Something I never thought I would have, I've

  lost twice in the span of a week because of Tad

  Pierce. And I almost lost Alex in the

  process. How do I tell her that," James pleaded

  looking searching the eyes of his friends as tears ran

  down his face.

  "James, I'm sorry. What does her doctor think? Is

  she strong enough to hear the news," asked Sam. "He doesn't know either," he replied looking down

  at Grayson, "If the child had been older, I would

  have told you sooner. But it had to have been

  mine. "

  "I know. And I'm sorry. Truth be told, James,

  after she called your name that night, I just couldn’t

  seal the deal. I felt like an idiot, but she knew

  then, as did I, that she loved you.”

  "Thanks Grayson. "

  "What are you going to say?”

  "I don't know. I don't think I could stand to hurt

  her further." The elevator doors slid open and

  they moved to the desk to locate Alex's new room. Transition Care looked a lot like ICU to Alex upon

  begin wheeled off of the elevator. She wondered

  why James was not following but could not ask

  because of her throat. A plump nurse scurried

  over to Alex's gurney upon her arrival in T.C.

  "Hi Alex, I'm Nancy Schaffer. Maggie asked me to

  take care of you. We're going to do something fun

  now. Get you out of this bed," smiled

  Nancy. She motioned to the orderlies to wheel

  Alex into her new room.

  "Do you think you can roll out of this bed, or would

  you prefer these nice strapping men to do it," she

  asked Alex as they parked her old bed by her new

  one with the clean sheets.

  "I want a bath," she hoarsely whispered. "Do you want to get cleaned up before moving into

  the new bed?" Alex shook her head yes. She

  wanted more than anything to be clean and dry

  before moving o
nto the clean bed. Nancy agreed

  to help her with a sponge bath and shooed the

  orderlies away. After a quick sponge bath and a

  good brushing to get the knots out of her hair, the

  orderlies moved Alex into the clean bed.

  "I feel better, Nancy, thank you," she whispered.

  "I'll bring you a menu so you can order some

  supper, such as it is on a clear liquid diet." Nancy

  stated as she left the room.

  Aside from the missing overhead exam light and

  monitors it looked like an ICU room. That was

  probably the point of the change. Not to remind

  her how close to death she may have been but to remind her of how alive she was now. The room

  was still close to the nurses’ station and there was a

  window which allowed the nurses to watch her.

  She felt like a guinea pig. Alex stretched cautiously

  in the bed. She felt the tug of the stitches and the

  restraint of the casts on her arms and the tape on

  her ribs. Closing her eyes briefly, she luxuriated in

  the brief silence and tried to enjoy her Popsicle.

  Once the group had arrived in Transition Care and

  they discovered her sleeping. She had laid the

  Popsicle aside to doze off and now it melted on the

  bed stand in a cup of ice chips left by Nancy. They

  stopped at the nurses’ station and introduced

  themselves to Alex's new nurse.

  "Well, she has taste. I can see that," remarked the

  pert nurse. "Maggie said you boys were devilishly handsome. Glad to see her eyes ain't giving out on

  her. She's just fine. The doctor told you

  so. Always listen to Dr. Drew. Anyway, she

  wanted a bath before slipping into the clean

  sheets. I always take that a sign of recovery, when

  a patient doesn't want to be filthy anymore.”

  "That is a good sign. Alex hates sleeping in a clean

  bed without a shower," remarked James sliding a

  glance at Sam, Morgan and Grayson.

  "If she wakes up, will you tell her that we went to

  get cleaned up ourselves and will return during

  visiting hours later," asked James.

  "Sure. Not a problem," replied the nurse. James looked in on Alex one more time and kissed

  her cheek before joining the others at the

  elevator. The four of them settled Grayson back

  into his room and promised to pick him up before

  going back upstairs to see Alex. All of them were

  exhausted and looked forward to hot showers,

  clean clothes and a decent meal before returning.

  "What are you going to tell her, James," asked

  Grayson once back in bed.

  "I haven't decided yet. I'm going to have deal with

  this pain first before I can help her cope with hers.”

  "I'm really sorry. "

  "I know, Gray. I know. " James followed Sam and Morgan out of the hospital

  and to the parking lot where their cars had been

  collecting dust for several days. James told the

  others he would be returning in a couple of hours

  after checking on the rebuilding of Hasani Industries

  and grabbing a shower. Morgan and Sam said

  they would come back then as well.

  "Actually, guys, I'd like some time with her alone. "

  "We'll bring Gray up in a few hours," promised Sam.

  "Thanks. "

  James drove back to his house and grabbed a quick

  shower, packed a few things for Alex, fed the dogs

  and checked his mail. He found a card from

  Francine's parents thanking him for the flowers and his attendance at her sparse funeral. He was

  surprised at the turnout himself. Aside from the

  required attendance by Jeff and a few others from

  Hasani, Francine had had no friends. It was only

  her parents who grieved for her, unaware as to why

  she died or the stillborn child she carried inside

  her. When James had been asked about the care

  of the child, he had requested that she carry it with

  her into the grave. He had no rights to it and no

  desire to bury the child separately.

  Now he had lost another child. One he hadn't

  known about but ached for more. One that had

  been carried by the woman who had made him

  more mature and made him believe in love

  again. Shaking his head, he sat down heavily on

  the couch and lit a cigarette. What was he going

  to tell her? How could he tell her after everything she had gone through? "Damn," he whispered

  before getting back up and heading over to Hasani

  to check on the construction.

  Jeff was standing outside the building when James

  arrived. He was talking to Doug and Allen about

  the most effective way to restart inventory

  measures since most of the inventory had been

  destroyed or rendered useless in the fire and

  explosion. Everything from the weld shop forward

  was non-existent. The sandblast area was

  suffering from water damage and the paint shop

  had fortunately been spared. James nodded at the

  threesome standing on the receiving dock and

  walked back to the machine shop.

  "Jimmy," hollered Dave as he stepped over some

  lines and headed towards him. All of the machine shop workers had stopped what they were doing

  and followed him to the back corner to get a status

  report on Alex.

  "Hey Dave," James smiled, "Got a few minutes. "

  "Sure. How's Alex?"

  James looked around and saw not only the machine

  shop group, but most of the rest of the plant, all of

  the R&D as well as Jeff, Allen, Doug and Robert.

  "She's awake, off the respirator and out if

  ICU. The doctor said she'll be fine and out of the

  hospital in about a week. Grayson is being released

  tomorrow. " A collective sigh was followed by a collective cheer

  at the good news. They hadn't lost anyone except

  Francine in the whole fiasco and, unfortunately,

  most of them didn't miss her. James smiled,

  grabbed Dave's arm and lead him into his office

  closing and locking the door behind them.

  "What's up, James?"

  "I need some advice and we're close enough that I

  think you can help," James replied pulling a box

  from his pocket and opened it.

  Dave whistled, "Wow. For Alex?"

  "Of course; I can't lose her, Dave. If one more

  thing happens to her, I think I'll go nuts."

  "So what do you need me for," he asked tossing

  himself into one of the chairs. "Am I doing the right thing? Look how badly my last

  marriage ended."

  "Do you love her?"

  James smiled, "I think I have from the minute I

  walked in the door and saw her sitting in that chair

  so prettily, so prim. Her hair is like a living thing it

  radiates her energy. Her eyes are like pools I could

  drown in. When I hold her, that's all I want to do

  is hold her. When she cocks her head to one side

  and gives attitude I can do nothing but

  smile. She's everything I ever wanted and never

  knew it."

  Dave watched James describe Alex and felt a pang

  of jealousy, "To be that in love was a dream for

  every man and woman, some
of us fall short, James. You've got the real deal. Ask her? Then

  you'll know. "

  "Thanks, Dave," James smiled, snubbing the

  cigarette and heading out to find Jeff.

  "How's it going," he asked when he found the

  pudgy manager.

  "We should be back up in a few weeks, barring

  further problems. I'm going to need overtime

  from your guys."

  "No problem. Just make sure they have

  materials."

  "I will. So, Alex is alright?"

  "Yeah," he replied and began to walk away, "Jeff,

  can I ask you a question? In confidence?" "Sure. "

  "Has Nancy ever lost a baby?"

  "Can I ask why you're asking," Jeff asked shocked.

  James explained what happened with Alex and her

  not knowing about it, "That's rough. Tell

  her. She'll find out somehow. And if she does

  and knows that you knew, she may take it badly."

  James shook his head, thanked Jeff and got in the

  car. Shaking off the bad mood, he headed back to

  the hospital.

  Alex woke up feeling stiff and a little

  sore. Without the constant flow of pain killers

  through her IV she had a better sense of her

  injuries, however, minor. Groping for the call button, Alex found the interminable thing and

  pressed it.

  "Well hello there," came a chipper voice that Alex

  immediately recognized as her nurse, Nancy, "Nice

  to see you awake. I found a brush to run through

  your hair. That handsome gentleman of yours

  promised to bring you some things from home," she

  prattled as she began to brush the tangles from

  Alex's hair.

  "James," Alex sighed, smiling.

  "That's him. He's a fine man. He loves you an

  awful lot. "

  Alex smiled again. It was the only movement that

  didn't hurt at the present time, "Casts," she asked. "They come off in about six weeks. Both arms are

  broke."

  "Damn. What am I supposed to do?"

  "Well, you'll be here for about another week or so,

  so you'll have the nursing staff to help."

  "Great," Alex sighed allowing Nancy to continue to

  comb her hair, "When is he coming back?"

  "He's here, beautiful," answered James from the

  door. Setting the bag down on one of the chairs,

  he crossed the room and kissed her offered cheek,

  "I'd prefer one on the lips."

  "I haven't brushed my teeth in days, James," Alex

  grinned. "Well then, I have a solution," James stated walking

  back to the bag, opening it and pulling out a

  toothbrush.