A Mom for Christmas

by Lorraine Beatty

  “It’s hard being forgotten by people who are supposed to care. You feel like you don’t matter.” He saw her wince, only then realizing how she might have taken his statement. It hadn’t been directed at her. He pulled her a little closer. “I’m glad she had you to talk to. That she trusted you with her feelings.”

  “I’ll always be there for her. I’m afraid your daughter has stolen my heart.” Stepping into the shadows of the entryway, she smiled into his eyes. “Thanks for walking me home.”

  “Speaking of hearts, we need to talk.”

  Even in the dim light he could see the worry darken her eyes. “All right. We can go upstairs if you’d like.”

  He thought about the cozy atmosphere in her apartment, the sense of home he’d experienced there. Being alone with her while feeling the way he did wasn’t a good idea. “No. That’s playing with fire. This will do fine.” He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out the key chain. “I want to know what you meant. ‘Every time you touch this you will be touching my heart. Love, Beth.’”

  She tugged her shawl closer, avoiding his eyes. “Noah.”

  “Did you mean it?” His heart thudded fiercely in his chest. He searched her face, longing to hear confirmation of his suspicions.

  “Yes. At the time, I had a huge crush on you.”

  A crush? Not what he’d hoped to hear, but it was a start and he pushed ahead. “What about now?” That’s what he had to know.

  “What do you mean?”

  “How do you feel about me now?” She took so long to respond, his throat tightened. He was fearful of having misread all the signals and the sparks between them. She met his gaze, the connection melting them together as if they physically touched. Her hand came up to rest on his cheek.

  “I think my crush never faded.”

  Pulse racing, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her with all the stored-up emotion he’d carried for years. He wanted her to have no doubts about his feelings. She slipped her arms around his neck, burrowing her fingers into his hair and sending his mind spinning. Kissing her was everything he’d dreamed of, and it filled him with a sense of home. For the first time since losing his parents, his heart was whole again.

  He ended the kiss, holding her against his chest, inhaling the sweet floral scent while his chin rested on her silky hair. He trailed his fingers through the strands along her temple. “If I’d read this inscription that day, everything would have been different.”

  “Would it?” Her words were muffled against his chest.

  “Yes, because I would have given you my gift even if it wasn’t wrapped.”

  “You never told me what it was.”

  “A promise ring. I wanted you to be connected to me while I was at college. I wanted you to know how I felt.”

  “How did you feel? I was never sure.”

  “I was in love with you. I had been from the first day, but I didn’t figure I had a chance. Not against your passion for dance.”

  “I guess we were both too afraid to admit what we were feeling. So what now?” She slid her arms around his waist. “This thing between us, where do we go from here?”

  He held her closer, finding a peace in her closeness he’d never experienced before. “Take our time. See what happens. It’s not just my heart involved now. I have Chloe to think about, too.”

  “You know I would never hurt her.”

  “I know.” He tilted her face upward and kissed her again, overcome by a longing to never let her go. When he broke the kiss, he gulped in air and stepped back. “You’d better go on up.”

  She touched his cheek. “Good night, Noah. Think of me tonight.”

  “I always do.”

  He forced himself to turn and walk away, but stopped at the edge of the entryway. “Beth, if I’d told you how I felt that day, would you have stayed?” He wasn’t sure why he’d asked the question and wasn’t at all sure he wanted to hear the answer.

  She held his gaze a long moment, then shook her head. “No. I would have chosen to dance. I didn’t understand what I was giving up. I won’t make that mistake again.”

  It wasn’t the answer he’d hoped for, but it was one that gave him hope. And for now that was enough.

  Chapter Eleven

  Beth snuggled deeper into the covers, reliving Noah’s kiss once again. She’d gone straight to bed, not wanting anything to diminish the feeling of euphoria and bliss still lingering in her senses. The tenderness in his kiss and the gentle way he’d held her had carried her away on emotions she’d never imagined. In his arms she found the sense of belonging she’d always craved.

  She recalled again the sweet sensation of his kiss. So much had been revealed in that kiss.

  Neither of them had declared their feelings outright, but the kiss had sent their relationship in a new direction—one she was eager to pursue. Was it possible to have a future with Noah? Could they move beyond the mistakes of the past and find a future together here in Dover? She prayed that was true because Noah was the only one she wanted to share her life with. The only one who knew her faults and her failings, and loved her in spite of them. He was her perfect partner.

  Bright sunlight woke her the next morning. She’d overslept but got up feeling happier than she had in a long time. Her dreams had been filled with images of her and Noah dancing together, around and around, holding each other close, lost in their happiness.

  She poured another cup of coffee and curled up on the sofa. For the moment it was still a dream. She had things to do today. Her first order of business was to call Kurt and tell him she wasn’t interested. She wasn’t sure why she’d taken so long to decide. The more she’d considered his offer, the more the truth had risen to the surface.

  The thought of returning to a full-time dance career, with the constant stress and pressure, had brought a knot of tension into her chest. Since coming home she’d been sleeping better, eating better, even to the point of needing new clothes. She greeted each morning eager to start the day.

  Looking back, she could see her passion for ballet had started to wane long before the failed romance and the miscarriage. She’d just been too committed to realize it. She’d had her time in the spotlight and she’d lived every aspect of her dream.

  Kurt had said she wouldn’t be happy here for long. But he was wrong. She wanted different things now. A line from one of her favorite show tunes came to mind: “The gift was ours to borrow.” She’d been given the gift of dance and had used it to the fullness of her ability. Now it was time to let someone else use their gift.

  And she would explore a new gift and a new direction. She placed the call to Kurt, who did his best to change her mind, but in the end he was surprisingly supportive.

  Relieved and buoyed with anticipation, she opened her laptop, logged on to the local MLS and pulled up the commercial listings, searching for a place to open her dance school. She wouldn’t tell Noah just yet. She’d wait until it was all settled. That way he’d know for certain she was staying in Dover, and he could depend on her not to run off again.

  Financially she was in pretty good shape. She’d been so busy working that she’d spent very little of her earnings, and money went a lot further in Dover than in New York.

  She scrolled through the handful of properties, stopping on several possibilities. There was plenty of rental space available, but she preferred to own. A small knot formed in her stomach. Becoming a business owner was a big step. She had no idea what was involved in starting a dance school, or the necessary legalities. Would she need to be certified? Bonded? It wasn’t simply a matter of getting a loan; there was also marketing and advertising to think about. The thought set her mind spinning. She pursed her lips and leaned back on the sofa.

  Was she ready? Was she capable? All she’d ever known was dancing, and a large part of that
consisted of other people telling her what to do—how to stand, hold her head, position her arms, feet, hips, neck.

  She forced the negative thoughts away. She was getting ahead of herself. First she had to find a suitable place. Then she could take her time working out the rest.

  Her gaze landed on the address of a familiar building. Miss Barker’s School of Dance. Her old teacher. She’d taken lessons there three times a week until she’d started private lessons in Jackson. The picture showed a very old, run-down structure. Was this a sign? A nudge from on high that she could step in and restore the school? She searched the screen for the owner and saw that the property was represented by a local bank.

  Logically, she should work with her mom on this purchase, but she wasn’t ready to share her plans. She wanted to prove to her family and herself that she could take charge of her life, and go in a new direction. But if she mentioned her idea to the family, she’d be buried in advice and far too many helpful good intentions. She knew how quickly a plan like this could fall apart. She’d already had one career dream crumble. She wasn’t eager to lose another one. Once things were finalized, she’d make the announcement.

  Tiny fingers of doubt crept along her nerves. Was she a fool to consider opening a dance school? She thought of her three little ballerinas, and the ladies at the senior center. No. Dover needed a place for children to learn to appreciate the dance, and a teacher who would make sure they were taught modest moves.

  What would Noah think? Would starting a business in Dover finally assure him she wasn’t going back to the stage?

  That was her prayer, because if it didn’t, then she had no hope of ever convincing him.

  * * *

  Noah pulled his truck to a stop in front of Kramer’s dilapidated old house, his mood sagging when he recognized the owner’s vehicle sitting near the back. Kramer had asked him to come by and check out a few structural issues he’d uncovered during demolition. This was the last place Noah wanted to be this morning. His thoughts were still bouncing back to last night and the kiss he’d shared with Beth.

  He didn’t put much trust in dreams, but last night, holding Beth, he’d seen his old dream reforming in front of him. A wife, a family and a home of his own. His dream was giving Chloe the kind of security and completeness he’d known, but lost.

  They’d both danced around actually admitting they loved each other. She’d said her crush was still there; he’d confessed to loving her in the past. But they’d agreed to explore their feelings. That was a long way from the timid, insecure kids they’d been long ago.

  Yet part of him remained wary. There was a lot of scar tissue to deal with.

  “Carlisle.”

  Noah glanced up to see Kramer waving at him. He climbed out of the truck and joined him. His first client was proving to be more trouble than he was worth. Noah had thought about walking away, but the guy was the type to make his displeasure known to anyone who would listen, and bad word-of-mouth could kill his business before it even got off the ground.

  “Glad you’re here. I need you to look at this floor and tell me why it’s sloping.”

  Noah followed him inside to the back of the house, but stopped before they entered the old kitchen. The wall that had separated the rooms had been removed. A closer look revealed that another wall had been torn down, too, and a quick glance upward triggered his alarm. “When did you take these walls down?”

  “A few days ago. I need to get some of this work done if I’m going to make any money on this flip.”

  The statement unleashed a flare of anger in Noah. Kramer was trying to take a beautiful old home filled with fine craftsmanship and turn it into an open-concept hollow shell. But that wasn’t his concern. “You should have checked with me first. You’ve taken down a load-bearing wall. Didn’t your carpenter know that?”

  “I didn’t ask him. I did this myself to save some change.”

  Noah gritted his teeth. “That second floor is already sagging.” He pointed to the obviously bowed joist above them. “You’d better shore that up before the entire second level falls down.” He glanced around the space for something to shore up the beam, but could only find two-by-fours, which were not nearly strong enough to support the weight.

  “I’ll do that, but first look at this floor.” He walked into the kitchen area and bounced up and down. The floor beneath his feet moved. “What’s going on?”

  Noah stooped down. The boards were clearly soft and probably rotten, but it was the supports beneath that concerned him. “Not sure until I can pull up some of the boards and get a look at the foundation.”

  Kramer grunted. “Great. I can’t afford any more major hits. Are you sure about this?”

  “Like I said, I’ll have to get under the house, but it’s a safe guess that either your joists aren’t large enough or they’re rotted out. It could also mean your piers have sunk into the ground.”

  “Meaning what?”

  “A new foundation. We’d have to pour a concrete pad, set a new pier and put in stronger joists. Then beef up the floors, and maybe add metal leveling supports and stabilize the house from sinking into the ground more.”

  “Can you get under there now?”

  “Not today. But I’ll come back tomorrow and take a look. In the meantime, you need to get this ceiling stabilized. If you want this whole space open, you’re going to need an I beam.”

  “You said a fifteen-foot beam would be plenty strong enough.”

  “That’s when you were only removing one wall.”

  “Look, can’t we work something out? Do we really need to be so picky? I mean, you’re a building inspector, too, aren’t you?”

  Noah kept a tight hold on his anger. “Yes, but since you’ve hired me as your engineer, I won’t be doing the city inspection on this house. We have building codes for a reason, Mr. Kramer, and if you want to continue to remodel this house, you’ll have to meet them.” He glanced at his phone. “I have another appointment. I’ll try to get back out here tomorrow to look under the house. In the meantime—” he pointed to the sagging ceiling “—get that shored up.”

  Kramer’s rude comment hung in the air as Noah walked away. He couldn’t wait for this job to be finished. It wasn’t the first time he’d been asked to let something slide to hold down costs, but he wasn’t going to pass on something that could fail down the road. It was his responsibility to make sure structures were safe and compliant with current codes. If something he signed off on failed, then he would be held responsible.

  * * *

  Beth gripped the phone tighter in her palm as a violent wave of heat coursed through her veins, and blood pounded in her ears. Her hopeful excitement when she’d seen the name of the bank on an incoming email had deflated like a punctured tire when she’d read that the inspection had failed and she couldn’t move forward with her application. She’d immediately placed a call to the loan officer, Burt Valens. “What do I have to do now?”

  “I’m afraid there’s nothing to be done on that property. The inspector recommended the building be condemned. It’s not safe.”

  “But can’t it be fixed? Restored or whatever?”

  “I’m afraid not. Mr. Carlisle reported the structure was too far gone to redeem. I suggest you select another property. We’d be happy to process your application at that time.”

  “Thank you.” Beth could barely speak around the anger clogging her throat. Noah. He’d done the inspection on her building and condemned it. The place looked rough. She knew it would need fixing up before she could open her studio; that’s why she’d asked for an inspection. But condemned? No way.

  She set her jaw. This had nothing to do with the condition of that building. This was about Noah’s stubborn refusal to believe she wasn’t going to suddenly walk out of his life. He didn’t trust her, and this was his way of gettin
g back at her. He was making her pay for something his ex-wife had done.

  Glancing over at his office, she saw him moving around. Time to have a long overdue talk. Striding across the entryway, she yanked open his office door. He spun and looked at her, his dark brows pulled down into a fierce frown.

  “Why did you do that?”

  He swallowed. “Do what?”

  “Condemn my building? I can’t believe you’d carry a grudge this far. How dare you deliberately sabotage my future that way?”

  Noah held up his hand and came toward her. “Hold it right there. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Miss Barker’s old building on Liberty Street. Your inspection caused me to lose a loan from the bank.”

  “You’re the potential buyer? Why? What do you want with that run-down place?”

  She wasn’t ready to tell him that. “That’s not important. You deliberately condemned that building.”

  “Beth, that building isn’t safe. My report was based on facts and a thorough inspection. The place is ready to fall down. Besides, I had no idea you were the one wanting the inspection.”

  “I don’t believe you. I’m positive my name was on the work order. You are determined to make me pay for leaving.”

  “No, I’d never do that. You know me better than that.”

  “I thought I did, but now I realize I don’t know you at all.” Furious, she whirled around and stormed back to her office, too upset to think clearly. Noah followed behind, clearly determined to explain himself.

  “Beth, I want to know what’s going on. You owe me an explanation.”

  “Don’t put this on me.” She crossed her arms over her chest, breathing rapidly. “You’re afraid. You’ve built this steel wall around your heart so you won’t have to risk getting hurt again. You use me and Chloe and anything else you can think of to keep yourself protected. I thought I saw that wall coming down and you opening up. Until Chloe’s mother messed up and Kurt appeared, and now you’re diving behind that wall again and shutting everyone out.”