How Many Chances

by Beverley Hollowed

  “Something has happened,” Ally said, feeling her inner alarm bells going off. “Hasn’t it?”

  “Okay, I don’t want you to freak out,” Cole said as he nervously pushed his hands through his hair. He was struggling for the right words to tell her. “When I woke up this morning, Nick informed me some of the tabloids had run a story.”

  Ally’s stomach turned immediately. She thought of the day before and the cameras flashing and bouncing of the car. She also knew by Cole’s stressed out look on his face, she was really not going to like what was printed.

  “I have taken care of it,” Cole reassured her, but she was barely listening to him. “This will never…”

  “I want to see them,” she demanded, not giving him a chance to finish what he was saying.

  “They are just trash, Ally,” Cole began to protest.

  “I don’t care,” Ally said staring blankly at Cole. She was not going to back down. “If there is something written about me, I want to see it.”

  Cole sighed, he knew she would not be pleased with what had been written. In fact, if he was honest he was afraid it would be enough to make her bolt again and he was sick with worry.

  “Cole, please,” she said, sensing his reluctance. “I you want me in this relationship. You can’t hide things from me. You promised, no more secrets.”

  Cole sighed and ran his hands through his hair once again. He knew he had no argument.

  “Fine,” he finally said, holding out his hand to Ally. She reached out and took it and let him lead her from the bedroom.

  Nick was waiting in Cole office, which was located in a room just off the dining room. He stood up and shifted nervous when Cole walked in with Ally. Ally blushed as she remembered the way she snapped at him when she found him standing in the bedroom.

  Cole led Ally to the table which was covered in the newspapers. The first thing that jumped up at Ally from the papers was the headline, ‘Thomas’s Other Woman’.

  Ally could feel her heart pounding hard in her chest. It was her worst fear realised. She didn’t want to be the other woman. She thought about the night she had told him this very thing. The next morning they spilt up. And Ally realised that this was what he had been afraid of all along. She had told him she would never be the other woman in any child’s life.

  She finally realised why Cole had kept the secret for as long as he did. She had really left him no other choice. He loved her and he knew he would have lost her.

  She looked up at him and her heart ached to see the worry and fear clearly written across his face. Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly blinked them back.

  She knew he was waiting for her to bolt. And if she was honest, part of her wanted to. She just wanted to fall in love and live happy ever after. And yet with Cole, it was always so complicated. But she loved him. She truly did

  True she didn’t want to be the other woman. But she also didn’t want him to be any other woman’s man. He was hers. They belonged together. She smiled at him reassuringly.

  “I have sorted this,” Cole said again. “This has been taken care of.”

  “Okay,” Ally said and smiled. She glanced back down at the rest of the papers. None of the pictures were clear but still she knew it was her and she felt a little sick. She needed some air and a little time to clear her head. She knew Cole would object but she needed some time to herself. She thought best how to broach the subject.

  She was about to speak, when Cole began to talk first.

  “I was thinking we could go grab some breakfast,” he said, his eyes constantly searching Ally’s face for some clue as to what she might be thinking.

  “Actually,” Ally began, taking a deep breath. “I was thinking of going for a walk, you know clear my head.”

  “Well I will get my coat and go with you,” Cole said walked towards the door.

  “Well,” Ally continued. “I was thinking of going alone.”

  “Why?” was all he could ask. His heart sank. She was bolting again. He knew it.

  “I just need some time to clear my head,” Ally reassured him. “I promise I am okay. I just need a little time and space.”

  “You need time and space?” Cole repeated, he sounded a little hurt.

  “Yes,” she replied as she reached for his hand and squeezed it softly. “Is that okay?”

  “Sure,” he kissed her on the forehead and smiled at her but Ally could see his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

  Cole sat back behind his desk and didn’t make eye contact with Ally as he asked Nick to provide Ally with a key for the elevator and the code to get up and down. Ally felt like she had been punched in the guts. She watched Cole as he gathered up the newspapers and threw them in the trash.

  Ally went to speak again but she stopped herself. He was sulking and she was not going to be drawn into another argument.

  She turned and followed an equally unimpressed looking Nick to the elevator, stopping on the way to grab her bag and her jacket.

  When they reached the elevator door, Nick gave her a key and a card with codes on it.

  “You will need these to get up and down in this lift,” he explained without once making eye contact with her. Then he reached into his coat pocket, pulled a card out and finally allowed his eyes to meet hers. “This is my phone number. I want you to programme it into your phone. Put it on speed dial. If you need anything or run into any problems, ring me immediately.”

  “Thank you,” Ally smiled brightly at Nick, surprised by his gesture. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. “That is very kind of you.”

  “It is my job,” he replied without missing a heartbeat.

  “I knew that,” she lied and frowned. Asshole she thought to herself just as the lift doors opened.

  She turned and looked back at him just as the doors were closing and was surprise to see a small smile on his lips.

  “Ugh!!”She growled when the doors were finally closed. What was it about this guy that rubbed her the wrong way? She wasn’t sure but one thing she did know was he seemed to feel the same way about her.

  As the elevator came to a stop on the ground floor, Ally suddenly regretted her decision to go out alone. What if there were photographers waiting for her and recognised her from the car.

  She stood as the doors opened and considered typing in the code to go back up. But she couldn’t face Cole and smug Nick just yet. So she took a deep breath and stepped off the elevator. She was relieved as she stepped out through the doors of the building that there was no one except the couple of passer-by’s going about their normal day.

  It was cold out and there was tiny flakes of snow blowing in the air. Ally pulled her coat tighter around her and turned left and began walking.

  It was her first time in London but she had a great sense of direction and she paid attention to markers so she would be able to find her way home. She walked along Bayswater Road until she passed Marble Arch, and kept going until she reached Oxford Street.

  She walked along, taking in every sight, sound and smell of London. Stopping occasionally to peer through the shop fronts. There were lines of red double decker buses, black London taxis and so many people Ally felt almost lost in the crowd. But in no time at all she had fallen in love with London.

  After window shopping for an hour she felt famished. She stopped in to a small deli and bought herself a sandwich and a bottle of water, before she started walking back towards Cole’s penthouse.

  When she reached the apartment block where he lived. She stood and looked up at the building all the way up to the top floor. She knew he would be anxious about her whereabouts. She had been gone almost two hours now. But she couldn’t face him just yet. Instead she turned and headed to the park across the street. She found a bench that was empty and she sat down. She pulled the remains of her sandwich from her bag and, pulling her legs up to her chest she began to pick at the sandwich.

  She sat and watched a man with his son, Ally reckoned about three years old
, playing ball. She watch as the man taught the little boy to take penalty shots. She smiled when the little boy made a goal and he threw his hands up into the air and cheered with joy and wiggled his little body, no doubt like he had probably seen he football hero doing on the TV.

  She thought of Cole playing here in the park with Ben and her heart ached she wasn’t the one who had given him this. The gift of unconditional love. She remembered when she was a little girl and just how much she had adored her own father. How everything she did was for his approval. But it had never been enough. She never felt she was good enough.

  She knew Cole would be so different to her father. She knew he would love Ben unconditionally in return and the thought made her smile.

  She suddenly got the sense she was no longer alone. It made her smile at just how in tune her body was to Cole’s. How it came alive every time he was close to her.

  “How long are you going to stand back there?” she asked never taking her eyes off the little boy and his father.

  “How did you know it was me?” He asked as he walked around the bench and sat down next to her.

  “I just did,” she turned and smiled at him. “I always know it’s you.”

  He reached for her hand and took it in his. He brought it to his mouth and kissed it softly.

  “I am sorry things have become so crazy,” Cole breathed out, his eyes fixed on their hands. “I never wanted any of this for us. I just want us to be happy. But it seems like it is one thing after another. I want to make you happy and I need to keep you safe. I don’t ever want you hurt again. But I seem to keep messing up and I end up hurting you anyway.”

  “Cole you have to stop this,” she sighed as she pulled her hand from his and took his face in both of her hands. “I am not some delicate flower. You can’t keep treating me like one. If you love me then you have to trust me. Trust I love you enough to take whatever happens. Having GI Joe checking on me and you hiding things from me is… well it’s suffocating.”

  I suffocate you?” Cole said looking shocked and a little but hurt.

  “No,” Ally half laughed and half sighed. “But you need to stop trying to fix things. Not everything is your problem to fix.”

  “I just want us to be okay,” Cole said as Ally softly brushed his face with her fingertips.

  “We are okay,” she whispered and smiled warmly at him. “We are together, nothing else matters. Cole you have to believe I love you. Please learn to trust me. I promise, I am going nowhere.”

  “You are amazing, Ally Brody,” Cole said, now taking her face in his hands. “God I love you so much.” He whispered before his brought his lips softly to her mouth.

  For the first time, Ally felt an internal strength rise inside her and she knew she could do this.

  She knew no matter what happened from now on, she and Cole could face it together.

  Chapter 10

  Cole took Ally out for lunch to an intimate little Italian a short walk from where he lived. Nick was not happy about Cole choosing to walk instead of taking the car. But Cole insisted that the paps were nothing to worry about. That he had taken care of them.

  When Cole brought up the subject of going to visit Ben, Ally instantly became uncomfortable. She knew it was something she would have to do eventually, but she also knew it was something she still wasn’t ready for.

  Cole couldn’t hide his disappointment when Ally suggested that, as it had been over a week since he had been to visit Ben, that maybe it would be the best thing for him to go on his own and clear the air with his mother. Especially after the stories that had run in the paper that morning.

  The truth was she couldn’t have cared less about that tart. As far as she was concerned, she knew exactly what she was doing when she climbed into bed with Cole. And nothing would ever make her feel any different. But she wasn’t ready to be dragged into a situation she really wanted no part of.

  Cole reluctantly agreed she was right but the disappointment on his face was very clear. After lunch he dropped Ally back to his apartment.

  Then, when it was time for him to go see Ben. Cole kissed Ally and hugged her tightly. He seemed almost reluctant to let her go.

  “You know I have to do this?” Cole sighed against Ally forehead. “He is my son. I need to be there for him.”

  “You don’t need to explain to me, Cole,” Ally said as she closed her eyes and allowed him to pull her to him tighter. She breathed in his scent and she felt safe and comfortable in his arms. She wanted to beg him not to go. The thoughts of him there with the woman that had just given him a son made her feel sick to the pit of her stomach.

  But he was the child’s father and needed to do the right thing. “You need to do this. I really do understand that.”

  “I won’t be long,” Cole assured her as he kissed her forehead once again. “And Annette will be here soon, so if you need anything you just let her know.”

  “I think I will just go and do some reading,” Ally smiled at Cole. “I will be okay, I promise.”

  “Good,” Cole replied as he kissed softly on the lips. He looked into her eyes and smiled. “I love you.”

  “Love you too,” she said with a smile before she kissed him back.

  She stood and watched as he walked to the front door, followed closely by Nick. She frown as the door closed and she was left standing in Cole’s luxury penthouse alone. Everything seemed so different here. For starters they never seemed to be alone anymore. Nick was always lurking somewhere around and Ally really didn’t like him. Ally had tried to ignore the sideways glances of disapproval she got from time to time from him but she knew he didn’t think much of her either.

  She wished they could just go back to Dublin and back to what they had before they arrived in London. But then Ally laughed out loud at that thought. Life in Dublin hadn’t exactly been plain sailing either. And for the first time in a week she thought about what had happened with Jason. She had refused to let him enter her thoughts. But memories of that night invaded her mind.

  She quickly shut those thoughts down. She was not going to give Jason one more minute of her time.

  She sighed and turned and made her way to Cole’s bedroom, the whole time wondering would they ever just have a simple easy life, because so far it had been anything but.

  She pulled her Kindle from her bag, kicked off her shoes and climbed onto Cole’s huge bed. She curled herself into a tiny ball and began to read the latest book she was reading until her eyes grew heavy and finally she could fight the sleep no longer.

  ************************************************

  “Hey sleepy head,” Cole whispered as he pressed his lips to Ally’s cheek.

  “Hmmm,” Ally sighed as she stretched and her eyes flicked opened to find Coles smiling face looking down at her.

  “Hi,” Cole said as he smile widened.

  “Hi yourself,” she grinned back up at him. “How did it go?”

  Cole sighed and just smiled but his smile didn’t reach his eyes once again.

  “That bad, huh?” Ally reached up and softly brushed Cole’s face. “What can I do to make it better?”

  He pressed his head against her forehead.

  “Bathe with me,” he whispered as he kissed her lips softly. Without another word he stood up and held out his hand to her. She took it and climbed down off the bed. He led her to the bathroom and closed the door behind them.

  Ally stood and watched Cole as he reached over and turned on the water in the bath.

  He looked stressed and worn out. She wanted to push him on what had happened but she didn’t.

  He turned and looked at Ally giving her that look that always sent her insides into freefall. The look that said he wanted her right here, right now. Her breath caught in her throat as he slowly stepped towards her.

  When he reached her, he took her by the chin and tilted her face up to his and claimed her mouth. She closed her eyes and pressed her body to his.

  He dropped his hand
to the hem of her top. He took hold of it and eased it up her body, breaking their kiss briefly to pull the top up over her head. Slamming his mouth back to her, Cole wrapped her in his arms and pulled her closer to him.

  She dropped her hand to the waistband of his trousers and undid his buckle and then his button and zipper. Then she pulled his shirt from his trouser and slid her hands up underneath it.

  Cole kissed her hard as he moved his hands to the waist band of her jeans. He pulled the button open and he slid his hands down the back of her jeans and cupped her back side.

  He broke his lips from her and stared into her eyes. Still he didn’t say a word instead he took a deep breath. Suddenly his mouth was back on hers and he was pushing her jeans down.

  Ally could feel the need in him and she wanted him too. She made quick work of the buttons on his shirt, before shoving it from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor as she kicked her jeans from around her ankles.

  Cole reached for her panties and hooking them with his fingers, he slid them down her legs, dropping to his knees as he did.

  He slipped his arms around her waist and pressed his lips against her stomach. As he reached down and removed her jeans and panties completely.

  Ally ran her hands through his hair and her heart ached with sadness because he seemed so unhappy.

  “Cole,” Ally said softly. “What is it? Please talk to me.” But he never said a word. He just continued to trace across her abdomen with soft, gentle kisses.

  “Cole, please,” Ally said completely confused by his behaviour.

  But this time instead of responding, he stood up and claimed her mouth once again. He pinned her against the cold tiled wall of the bathroom, causing her to cry out. She could feel his hard cock against her body. She felt so confused. She wanted him to talk to her. Tell her what was upsetting him. But she wanted him too.

  He continued to kiss her as his hands searched her body until he reached between her legs and suddenly smiled against her mouth.