How Many Chances

by Beverley Hollowed

  Ally’s breath caught in her throat just like it did every time she saw him naked and ready for her. He reached back and one leg at a time he removed his trouser.

  He climbed back over her and stared down in to her eyes. He wanted to kiss every part of her body first but the desire to be lost deep inside her was too strong to resist.

  He slipped his legs between her and positioned himself against her. He leaned down and claimed her mouth once again before he eased is entire rock hard length inside her.

  She cried out at the sudden fullness. His face was barely inches from hers. He stared down into her eyes and he could see a sadness in them that pulled at his heart. He wanted to make her feel loved so he did it the best way he knew how, with his body.

  “I love you,” he whispered against her mouth as he rocked back and forth inside her. His pace was slow and tender. Each stroke hitting that perfect spot inside her, sending her mind into a spin.

  Ally slipped her hands down his sides and reached for his ass, grabbing it and pulling him deeper into her. She wanted him deeper and harder.

  “Oh Cole, yes” she cried when she could feel him deeper inside her. She tilted up her hips and met him thrust for thrust.

  He dropped his mouth back down to her breast and took her nipple into his mouth toying and licking it before he gently bit it. She cried out in a mixture of both pleasure and pain.

  He slowly picked his pace up as he pushed deeply into her again and again.

  “YES! YES!” she cried out as her body began to shake. He wrapped her tightly in his arms and rolled over so she was now on top of him.

  She sat above him and she slowly began to move, He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer into him. She rested her hands on his chest, both now covered in a thin layer of sweat, and began to ride him harder.

  “Ally, that’s it,” he cried out as she ground against him harder and harder. She stared down into his eyes as he trusted up into her, meeting her trust for trust.

  “YES! COLE! YES! “She cried out as her body shook as she threw her head back and she came apart above him. He gripped her hips tighter, driving up inside her one last time before he came, crying out her name.

  Ally collapsed on top of Cole, completely and utterly exhausted, He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. They lay together in silence, each trying to catch their breath. Each lost in their own thoughts.

  “I know you have something on your mind, gorgeous girl,” he said finally. “And I know you will talk when you are ready. But I am begging you, pleased don’t shut me out. Let me help you.”

  His words cut through her. He thought she was shutting him out because he had done something wrong. But truth was, she was about to destroy his world and she was afraid he would hate her for it.

  “Promise me,” he continued looking down at her laying in his arms. “Tomorrow we will talk.”

  “I promise,” she said in a quiet voice. And she knew she would have no choice. Tomorrow, whether she was ready or not. She was going to have to tell him everything.

  Chapter 17

  When Ally woke the next morning, she was relieved to find herself alone in the bed. She had tossed and turned most of the night, having been too afraid to sleep in case she blurted out something she shouldn’t.

  She knew she could put it off no longer. She pushed back the bedclothes and got out of bed. She headed straight for the bathroom. She reached in and turned on the water in the shower. When she was stripped she looked at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. She looked like hell. She was pale and exhausted looking, with big black circles under her eyes.

  Then her mind turned to what she had to do today and once again her stomach heaved. She closed her eyes and held onto the sink to steady herself. She took deep, slow steadying breaths. But the nausea was taking hold of her, and her stomach heaved once again.

  She barely made it to the toilet before she threw up repeatedly until there was nothing left in her stomach and she dry heaved. She got up, flushed the toilet and sat down on it and began to cry. She would have given anything to not have to tell Cole the truth about Ben.

  She considered for a moment that maybe she should say nothing. He loved the little boy and that was all that mattered. But then she thought of Steph and Ally knew she couldn’t let her get away with hurting Cole or deceiving him. No she needed to tell Cole the truth and it would have to be today.

  She slowly picked herself up off the toilet and walked to the shower and stepped in under the water. It was hot and it prickled her skin but it felt good. She closed her eyes and leaned her hands against the tiled wall, as the water beat down hard against her, washing away all her troubles. Well at least for the time being.

  She had no idea how long she was under the water but finally she switched off the taps and opened the shower door.

  “JESUS CHRIST, COLE!” she exclaimed with fright when she saw Cole leaning against the vanity unit with his arms cross and an expression of concern on his face. “You scared the crap out of me.”

  “Sorry,” he said as he picked up a towel and held it open for her as she stepped out of the shower, he wrapped it around her tightly. He held her close to him and sighed. “Ally, please talk to me. Something is very wrong and it’s scaring me. You know you can tell me anything.”

  “Okay,” she whispered and she fought hard to keep the tears back. “Just let me get dressed and I will tell you everything.”

  He kissed her softly on the forehead and sighed again.

  “Okay,” he replied. “I’ll be in my office I have some paperwork to do, come find me when you are ready.”

  “Okay,” she looked up at him and smiled.

  “You know there is nothing you can’t tell me, right,” Cole said holding her eyes with his.

  Ally just simply nodded. She hoped he really meant that.

  “Okay,” Cole said and sighed once again before he left her standing alone in the bathroom. She couldn’t bring herself to look at her reflection in the mirror. She knew if she did she would cry and she was not going to cry again. She was going to be strong for Cole.

  She dried herself and went back to the bedroom to get dressed. She quickly dried her hair before she swept it up into a high pony. Then, dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt she went to look for Cole.

  “Good morning Ms Brody,” Annette beamed brightly as she passed Ally in the hallway. “Would you like me to fix you some breakfast?”

  “No thank you Annette,” Ally replied cheerfully. “And please, it’s Ally.”

  “Okay, Ally,” Annette smiled back at Ally. “But if you need anything please just give me a shout.”

  Ally turned and kept walking in the direction of Cole’s office. She got to the door and paused briefly. She could hear Cole talking, like he was on the phone. He didn’t sound happy, in fact he sounded like he was arguing with someone. She raised her hand to knock on the door but hesitated. Her stomach heaved again. She couldn’t do it. She turned to walk away but walked into what felt like a brick wall instead. She felt two hands grab her.

  “Ms Brody,” Nick exclaimed anxiously still holding Ally firmly. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m so sorry,” Ally said steadying herself. “I didn’t hear you come up behind me.”

  “It was my fault entirely,” Nick said still not letting her go, instead bending his knees slightly so he was eye level with Ally. “Are you okay, Ally?”

  “I’m fine,” she lied. She quickly dropped her eyes from his. She stepped back and could instantly smell Cole as he wrapped his arms around Ally from behind.

  “I am sorry Mr Thomas,” Nick said quickly. “I wasn’t watching where I was going and I nearly knocked Ms Brody down.”

  “Are you okay?” he asked turning Ally in his arms to look at her.

  “I’m fine,” she laughed nervously. “My own stupid fault for not looking where I was going.”

  “I was just coming to look for you,” Cole smiled down at her. “I thought you’d fo
rgotten about me.”

  “Well you found me,” she forced a smile.

  “I was thinking I would keep you company while you had your breakfast,” he said drawing her into his embrace. “And we could have that chat.”

  “Okay,” Ally agreed, knowing she could put it off no longer. She turned and smiled at Nick as Cole led her to the kitchen.

  “So,” Cole said and rubbed his hands together as Ally took a stool and the breakfast counter. “What’s it gonna be? I make a mean omelette.”

  “I am not very hungry,” she replied.

  “You still not feeling well?” Cole asked as he walked to Ally’s side of the counter and slipped his arms around her. He looked into her eyes and sighed deeply. He looked worried. “Ally, talk to me”

  Ally knew she could put it off no longer.

  “Cole,” Ally said, taking a deep breath. “You know I love you, right?”

  “Of course,” he replied with a nervous smile. “I love you too. Please Ally, you are scaring me.”

  “Cole, you know I would never lie to you,” Ally continued. “And that if I were to tell you something it’s because I love you and not to hurt you. “

  “Sweetheart, what is it?” He asked as he took the stool next to Ally.

  “Yesterday, at the hotel,” Ally said taking another steadying breath, “When I was in the bathroom…”

  “Mr Thomas,” Nick said, suddenly appearing at the door. “I’m sorry for disturbing you sir but Mr Fitzmaurice is down in reception creating a scene and is insisting he isn’t going anywhere until he speaks to Ms Brody.”

  “Oh God!” Ally exclaimed as a wave of nausea hit her again. She lurched in the stool as she felt the room spin.

  “Jesus, Ally” Cole exclaimed as he caught Ally just as she was toppling from the stool. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

  “I am fine,” Ally insisted and she stood up from the stool quickly and tried her hardest to remain calm. “I’m fine.”

  “Should I have security escort him from the premises, Mr Thomas?” Nick asked and his question was directed at Ally as much as Cole. Cole didn’t reply. Instead he turned to Ally and left it up to her.

  “I want to see him,” Ally said, shocking herself as much as she had shocked Cole and Nick. She wanted answers and she knew this was probably her only chance to get them. “I want to hear what the lying toe rag has to say for himself.”

  Nick turned to Cole and he nodded, confirming he was to escort him up. Nick left them alone, heading down to reception to escort Fitzmaurice up to the penthouse.

  Cole and Ally moved to the living area and Ally began pacing up and down the floor anxiously.

  “Are you sure you want to do this.” Cole asked as he watched her every move.

  “No,” she replied honestly. “But I think I need to. If I am ever to put these ghosts to rest, I need to face him once and for all”

  Before Cole could respond, her father came barrelling in through the double doors of the apartment and straight towards Cole. Then without warning he swung a dig at Cole but barely made contact before he stumbled.

  Ally knew straight away, he had been drinking. This was the Sean Fitzmaurice she remembered all too well. She instantly stood in front of Cole and shouted at him to stop.

  “Hit me!” She screamed at him. “That’s what you really want to do, but you were always too much of a coward to do it.”

  He straightened himself back up and stared at Ally.

  “You are marrying him over my dead body,” he finally snarled pointing at Cole with sheer hatred in his eyes.

  “That can be easily arranged,” Cole shot back as he pushed Ally behind him to safety.

  “Thomas, I won’t stand by and watch you come out on top this time,” Fitzmaurice growled. “You think marrying her will mean you have beaten me, but you are so wrong. You haven’t got a fucking clue.”

  “What does it matter to you,” Ally said stepping from behind Cole. She could feel years of suppressed anger bubble to the surface and she could hold it back no longer. “You don’t even want me, you never did. I was always nothing more than a mere annoyance. And you walked away as soon as you could. So why do you care now?”

  “He is just using you!” Fitzmaurice exclaimed pinning Ally with his eyes. “He has fucked half of London and probably most of Dublin. And he falls in love with my daughter. Some plain Jane grease monkey. I know not even you are that stupid. He is playing you.”

  “I have heard enough,” Cole snarls and grabbed hold of Fitzmaurice and start pushing him towards the door.

  “Fine then, let him make a fool of you,” He shouted over his shoulder back at Ally. “But when he finds out the truth, that you are just the product of a tart and her very own grease monkey he will drop you quicker than hot coal.”

  Ally felt like she had been punched in the stomach, she couldn’t believe what he just said. She knew he was a sick, twisted bastard but even this was a new low for him.

  “WAIT!” she screamed and Cole, who still had Fitzmaurice’s arm twisted up behind his back, stopped in his tracks. Ally walked to her father and stood in front of him. “What do you mean?”

  “Go back to Dublin and asked that scumbag Gus Parson what I mean,” he replied with such venom, his word went through Ally and her stomach heaved once again. “You really think I would have walked away from my kid so easy. You were never anything to me. So marry him if you want. It doesn’t matter to me. Because you don’t matter. You were never mine.”

  Ally couldn’t hear another word he said. Her heart was banging so loud in her ears. She could feel the room spin and could see the ground getting closer. Then she could feel Cole’s arms around her before she crashed into the ground.

  “It’s ok gorgeous girl,” Cole repeated again and again. “I’ve got you.”

  Ally closed her eyes tightly to stop the room from spinning and to stop herself from throwing up.

  “Nick get this scumbag out of my home,” Cole snarled looking up at Nick and then at Fitzmaurice.

  “My pleasure,” Nick growl grabbing Fitzmaurice by the arm and escorting him out of Cole’s penthouse.

  “Ally, sweet heart, “Cole said turning his attention back to Ally, “I think we need to call for a doctor to come and check you over.”

  “No,” Ally grumbled as she struggled to sit up but Cole held her tighter to him.

  “Ally, you just had an awful shock,” Cole continued, “And you haven’t seemed like yourself in a couple of days. Maybe just a quick going over. Please, just to make sure you are okay.”

  “No,” Ally insisted and this time she was sounding a little clearer. “I’m fine. As you said it was just a nasty shock.”

  “I am going to move you to the sofa,” Cole said standing up from the floor and slowly lifting Ally from the floor and sitting down on the sofa with Ally on his lap.

  “Do you think he was telling the truth,” Ally asked still feeling completely in shock.

  “Honestly I have no idea,” Cole replied. He watched Ally with concern. “But I don’t see what he would get from lying about such a thing. But I really don’t know.”

  “OH GOD!” Ally exclaimed, covering her mouth with her two hands as the tears pooled in her eyes. “Is Gus my dad? All these year, do you think he knew?”

  Ally mind was racing.

  “Oh god he knows!” she exclaimed as the memory of the last time she spoke to Gus sprung into her head. That morning in Nan’s. I knew something was wrong. Something in the way Pop looked at Gus.”

  “It could just be Fitzmaurice’s way of getting to you,” Cole suggested. “He is one sick twisted bastard.”

  But Ally didn’t hear a word Cole said. Her mind was running a mile a minute, she was trying to think of everything Gus had ever said to her all at once and her head was swimming with so many memories. Then something hit her like a bolt of lightening. She thought once again of that morning after she and Cole had reunited. She thought of Gus’s behaviour in her grandparent’s house t
hat morning and how Pops reacted to it.

  “Oh God, Cole,” she cried as a sob shook through her body. “I think my grandparents knew too. They all knew and no one ever told me. All these years I thought my father didn’t care about me but really, my father worked next to me every day and didn’t care enough to even admit he was my dad,”

  She could feel the bile rise in her throat and she knew she was going to be sick again. She jumped to her feet and ran to the bathroom in Cole’s bedroom, sinking to her knees in front of the toilet and began to throw up.

  “It’s Okay,” Ally heard Cole say softly from behind her as he sat on the floor behind Ally, holding her hair back and softly rubbing her back. Then he pulled her to him once she had stopped throwing up. She turned her face into his chest and let go of her grief. Of every ounce of pain she had ever felt because of Sean Fitzmaurice and now this new unbearable ache she had in the pit of her stomach as she realised everyday of her life had been a lie poured out as her heart broke.

  Chapter 18

  Ally’s phone rang again and again. It changed between her grandmother, Caitlin and Hannah’s phone number. But she refused to take any of their calls. Cole had told her, once she had calmed down after Fitzmaurice’s visit that one of the tabloids had run a story about their engagement and he was pretty sure it was Steph or her sister who had leaked the story.

  It had been Steph she had overheard him arguing with on the phone earlier that morning just before Fitzmaurice had arrived. Which also explained how he had known they were planning to marry.

  Ally knew everyone from home was calling to see if the story was true but she couldn’t face talking to them. Least of all her grandparents.

  She was mad as hell. Her grandparents were the two people in this world that had always been there for her. She trusted them, and if she was honest, she trusted Gus too. And they had all lied to her. She had wished all her life he had been her dad. And now it turns out he was, but he just never wanted her.