Jennie Gerhardt: A Novel

by Theodore Dreiser

  CHAPTER XLV

  It was while traveling abroad that Lester came across, first at theCarlton in London and later at Shepheards in Cairo, the one girl,before Jennie, whom it might have been said he trulyadmired--Letty Pace. He had not seen her for a long time, and shehad been Mrs. Malcolm Gerald for nearly four years, and a charmingwidow for nearly two years more. Malcolm Gerald had been a wealthyman, having amassed a fortune in banking and stock-brokering inCincinnati, and he had left Mrs. Malcolm Gerald very well off. She wasthe mother of one child, a little girl, who was safely in charge of anurse and maid at all times, and she was invariably the picturesquecenter of a group of admirers recruited from every capital of thecivilized world. Letty Gerald was a talented woman, beautiful,graceful, artistic, a writer of verse, an omnivorous reader, a studentof art, and a sincere and ardent admirer of Lester Kane.

  In her day she had truly loved him, for she had been a wiseobserver of men and affairs, and Lester had always appealed to her asa real man. He was so sane, she thought, so calm. He was alwaysintolerant of sham, and she liked him for it. He was inclined to waveaside the petty little frivolities of common society conversation, andto talk of simple and homely things. Many and many a time, in yearspast, they had deserted a dance to sit out on a balcony somewhere, andtalk while Lester smoked. He had argued philosophy with her, discussedbooks, described political and social conditions in othercities--in a word, he had treated her like a sensible humanbeing, and she had hoped and hoped and hoped that he would propose toher. More than once she had looked at his big, solid head with itsshort growth of hardy brown hair, and wished that she could stroke it.It was a hard blow to her when he finally moved away to Chicago; atthat time she knew nothing of Jennie, but she felt instinctively thather chance of winning him was gone.

  Then Malcolm Gerald, always an ardent admirer, proposed forsomething like the sixty-fifth time, and she took him. She did notlove him, but she was getting along, and she had to marry some one. Hewas forty-four when he married her, and he lived only fouryears--just long enough to realize that he had married acharming, tolerant, broad-minded woman. Then he died of pneumonia andMrs. Gerald was a rich widow, sympathetic, attractive, delightful inher knowledge of the world, and with nothing to do except to live andto spend her money.

  She was not inclined to do either indifferently. She had long sincehad her ideal of a man established by Lester. These whipper-snappersof counts, earls, lords, barons, whom she met in one social world andanother (for her friendship and connections had broadened notably withthe years), did not interest her a particle. She was terribly weary ofthe superficial veneer of the titled fortune-hunter whom she metabroad. A good judge of character, a student of men and manners, anatural reasoner along sociologic and psychologic lines, she sawthrough them and through the civilization which they represented. "Icould have been happy in a cottage with a man I once knew out inCincinnati," she told one of her titled women friends who had been anAmerican before her marriage. "He was the biggest, cleanest, sanestfellow. If he had proposed to me I would have married him if I had hadto work for a living myself."

  "Was he so poor?" asked her friend.

  "Indeed he wasn't. He was comfortably rich, but that did not makeany difference to me. It was the man I wanted."

  "It would have made a difference in the long run," said theother.

  "You misjudge me," replied Mrs. Gerald. "I waited for him for anumber of years, and I know."

  Lester had always retained pleasant impressions and kindly memoriesof Letty Pace, or Mrs. Gerald, as she was now. He had been fond of herin a way, very fond. Why hadn't he married her? He had asked himselfthat question time and again. She would have made him an ideal wife,his father would have been pleased, everybody would have beendelighted. Instead he had drifted and drifted, and then he had metJennie; and somehow, after that, he did not want her any more. Nowafter six years of separation he met her again. He knew she wasmarried. She was vaguely aware he had had some sort of anaffair--she had heard that he had subsequently married the womanand was living on the South Side. She did not know of the loss of hisfortune. She ran across him first in the Carlton one June evening. Thewindows were open, and the flowers were blooming everywhere, odorouswith that sense of new life in the air which runs through the worldwhen spring comes back. For the moment she was a little besideherself. Something choked in her throat; but she collected herself andextended a graceful arm and hand.

  "Why, Lester Kane," she exclaimed. "How do you do! I am so glad.And this is Mrs. Kane? Charmed, I'm sure. It seems truly like a breathof spring to see you again. I hope you'll excuse me, Mrs. Kane, butI'm delighted to see your husband. I'm ashamed to say how many yearsit is, Lester, since I saw you last! I feel quite old when I think ofit. Why, Lester, think; it's been all of six or seven years! And I'vebeen married and had a child, and poor Mr. Gerald has died, and oh,dear, I don't know what all hasn't happened to me."

  "You don't look it," commented Lester, smiling. He was pleased tosee her again, for they had been good friends. She liked himstill--that was evident, and he truly liked her.

  Jennie smiled. She was glad to see this old friend of Lester's.This woman, trailing a magnificent yellow lace train over pale,mother-of-pearl satin, her round, smooth arms bare to the shoulder,her corsage cut low and a dark red rose blowing at her waist, seemedto her the ideal of what a woman should be. She liked looking atlovely women quite as much as Lester; she enjoyed calling hisattention to them, and teasing him, in the mildest way, about theircharms. "Wouldn't you like to run and talk to her, Lester, instead ofto me?" she would ask when some particularly striking or beautifulwoman chanced to attract her attention. Lester would examine herchoice critically, for he had come to know that her judge of femininecharms was excellent. "Oh, I'm pretty well off where I am," he wouldretort, looking into her eyes; or, jestingly, "I'm not as young as Iused to be, or I'd get in tow of that."

  "Run on," was her comment. "I'll wait for you."

  "What would you do if I really should?"

  "Why, Lester, I wouldn't do anything. You'd come back to me,maybe."

  "Wouldn't you care?"

  "You know I'd care. But if you felt that you wanted to, I wouldn'ttry to stop you. I wouldn't expect to be all in all to one man, unlesshe wanted me to be."

  "Where do you get those ideas, Jennie?" he asked her once, curiousto test the breadth of her philosophy.

  "Oh, I don't know, why?"

  "They're so broad, so good-natured, so charitable. They're notcommon, that's sure."

  "Why, I don't think we ought to be selfish, Lester. I don't knowwhy. Some women think differently, I know, but a man and a woman oughtto want to live together, or they ought not to--don't you think?It doesn't make so much difference if a man goes off for a littlewhile--just so long as he doesn't stay--if he wants to comeback at all."

  Lester smiled, but he respected her for the sweetness of her pointof view--he had to.

  To-night, when she saw this woman so eager to talk to Lester, sherealized at once that they must have a great deal in common to talkover; whereupon she did a characteristic thing. "Won't you excuse mefor a little while?" she asked, smiling. "I left some things uncaredfor in our rooms. I'll be back."

  She went away, remaining in her room as long as she reasonablycould, and Lester and Letty fell to discussing old times in earnest.He recounted as much of his experiences as he deemed wise, and Lettybrought the history of her life up to date. "Now that you're safelymarried, Lester," she said daringly, "I'll confess to you that youwere the one man I always wanted to have propose to me--and younever did."

  "Maybe I never dared," he said, gazing into her superb black eyes,and thinking that perhaps she might know that he was not married. Hefelt that she had grown more beautiful in every way. She seemed to himnow to be an ideal society figure-perfection itself--gracious,natural, witty, the type of woman who mixes and mingles well, meetingeach new-comer upon the plane best suited to him or her.

  "Yes, you thought! I know what you
thought. Your real thought justleft the table."

  "Tut, tut, my dear. Not so fast. You don't know what Ithought."

  "Anyhow, I allow you some credit. She's charming."

  "Jennie has her good points," he replied simply.

  "And are you happy?"

  "Oh, fairly so. Yes, I suppose I'm happy--as happy as any onecan be who sees life as it is. You know I'm not troubled with manyillusions."

  "Not any, I think, kind sir, if I know you."

  "Very likely, not any, Letty; but sometimes I wish I had a few. Ithink I would be happier."

  "And I, too, Lester. Really, I look on my life as a kind offailure, you know, in spite of the fact that I'm almost as rich asCroesus--not quite. I think he had some more than I have."

  "What talk from you--you, with your beauty and talent, andmoney--good heavens!"

  "And what can I do with it? Travel, talk, shoo away sillyfortune-hunters. Oh, dear, sometimes I get so tired!"

  Letty looked at Lester. In spite of Jennie, the old feeling cameback. Why should she have been cheated of him? They were ascomfortable together as old married people, or young lovers. Jenniehad had no better claim. She looked at him, and her eyes fairly spoke.He smiled a little sadly.

  "Here comes my wife," he said. "We'll have to brace up and talk ofother things. You'll find her interesting--really."

  "Yes, I know," she replied, and turned on Jennie a radiantsmile.

  Jennie felt a faint sense of misgiving. She thought vaguely thatthis might be one of Lester's old flames. This was the kind of womanhe should have chosen--not her. She was suited to his station inlife, and he would have been as happy--perhaps happier. Was hebeginning to realize it? Then she put away the uncomfortable thought;pretty soon she would be getting jealous, and that would becontemptible.

  Mrs. Gerald continued to be most agreeable in her attitude towardthe Kanes. She invited them the next day to join her on a drivethrough Rotten Row. There was a dinner later at Claridge's, and thenshe was compelled to keep some engagement which was taking her toParis. She bade them both an affectionate farewell, and hoped thatthey would soon meet again. She was envious, in a sad way, of Jennie'sgood fortune. Lester had lost none of his charm for her. If anything,he seemed nicer, more considerate, more wholesome. She wishedsincerely that he were free. And Lester--subconsciouslyperhaps--was thinking the same thing.

  No doubt because of the fact that she was thinking of it, he hadbeen led over mentally all of the things which might have happened ifhe had married her. They were so congenial now, philosophically,artistically, practically. There was a natural flow of conversationbetween them all the time, like two old comrades among men. She kneweverybody in his social sphere, which was equally hers, but Jennie didnot. They could talk of certain subtle characteristics of life in away which was not possible between him and Jennie, for the latter didnot have the vocabulary. Her ideas did not flow as fast as those ofMrs. Gerald. Jennie had actually the deeper, more comprehensive,sympathetic, and emotional note in her nature, but she could not showit in light conversation. Actually she was living the thing she was,and that was perhaps the thing which drew Lester to her. Just now, andoften in situations of this kind, she seemed at a disadvantage, andshe was. It seemed to Lester for the time being as if Mrs. Geraldwould perhaps have been a better choice after all--certainly asgood, and he would not now have this distressing thought as to hisfuture.

  They did not see Mrs. Gerald again until they reached Cairo. In thegardens about the hotel they suddenly encountered her, or ratherLester did, for he was alone at the time, strolling and smoking.

  "Well, this is good luck," he exclaimed. "Where do you comefrom?"

  "Madrid, if you please. I didn't know I was coming until lastThursday. The Ellicotts are here. I came over with them. You know Iwondered where you might be. Then I remembered that you said you weregoing to Egypt. Where is your wife?"

  "In her bath, I fancy, at this moment. This warm weather makesJennie take to water. I was thinking of a plunge myself."

  They strolled about for a time. Letty was in light blue silk, witha blue and white parasol held daintily over her shoulder, and lookedvery pretty. "Oh, dear!" she suddenly ejaculated, "I wonder sometimeswhat I am to do with myself. I can't loaf always this way. I thinkI'll go back to the States to live."

  "Why don't you?"

  "What good would it do me? I don't want to get married. I haven'tany one to marry now--that I want." She glanced at Lestersignificantly, then looked away.

  "Oh, you'll find some one eventually," he said, somewhat awkwardly."You can't escape for long--not with your looks and money."

  "Oh, Lester, hush!"

  "All right! Have it otherwise, if you want. I'm telling you."

  "Do you still dance?" she inquired lightly, thinking of a ballwhich was to be given at the hotel that evening. He had danced so wella few years before.

  "Do I look it?"

  "Now, Lester, you don't mean to say that you have gone andabandoned that last charming art. I still love to dance. Doesn't Mrs.Kane?"

  "No, she doesn't care to. At least she hasn't taken it up. Come tothink of it, I suppose that is my fault. I haven't thought of dancingin some time."

  It occurred to him that he hadn't been going to functions of anykind much for some time. The opposition his entanglement had generatedhad put a stop to that.

  "Come and dance with me to-night. Your wife won't object. It's asplendid floor. I saw it this morning."

  "I'll have to think about that," replied Lester. "I'm not much inpractice. Dancing will probably go hard with me at my time oflife."

  "Oh, hush, Lester," replied Mrs. Gerald. "You make me feel old.Don't talk so sedately. Mercy alive, you'd think you were an oldman!"

  "I am in experience, my dear."

  "Pshaw, that simply makes us more attractive," replied his oldflame.