Lisa: Coming Of Age (The Guardian Shifters Book 1)

by KM Lowe

  "What? Why? Will we see her again?" I asked.

  Jasper shakes his head and wraps his arm around me. We turn to where Markus lays and already he looks stronger. Stracey is on her knees beside him, and Carlos, Joel, and Chardonnay are a few feet away, giving us some privacy.

  "She's never coming back, is she?" I sob.

  "No, honey. She isn't. "

  Stracey holds her hand out to me. "Do you want to help me with this final bit of the healing?"

  "How?" I kneel on the ground beside Markus.

  "Take my hand and place your other hand on that side of his head. I'll do the same at this side. You just do what you did before, exactly as your mum told you."

  I nod and close my eyes. This time the power is stronger. It’s more than little tingles. I feel it in my chest. I feel it pulling the energy from me.

  "Stop," says Stracey.

  My hands come up and hold my chest. This will take a lot of getting used to, if I ever do. I’m distracted by Markus' wolf shifting back to his human form. Stracey covers him with a blanket and we all take in what just happened. It feels like a dream, but then I look up and see the bodies of my father and DeAngelo, and I know it was no dream. It was no nightmare either. This is our reality. This is our life, crazy as it is.

  We’ve won. Together as a family, we won.

  Chapter 28

  Lisa

  Three Days Later

  I've found it hard to sleep since the ordeal we had to face in the forest. I find it hard knowing my mum was able to come through and help me, but I’ll never be able to see her again. I feel like I'm grieving for a person I've never met. My parents are back home and, on Friday, we're going home. We're leaving here to go back to our own lives. I'm not sure how I feel about that at the moment. My head is messed up good and proper. Even when I found out about being adopted, I didn't feel cheated or empty. Maybe when we go home everything will fall into place, and I’ll see what I have for the last seventeen years–unconditional love.

  I stand up from the breakfast bar and take my coffee out to the porch. I sit down on the steps. The cold, night air nips my skin, but it feels good.

  I didn't want to leave Markus in bed sleeping alone, but I couldn't lie awake any longer. The longer I lie awake, the harder I think, and that isn't good. I’m better keeping busy, keeping my mind occupied.

  "Lisa." I look up and see a shadow walking towards me. I’m not scared, but I am on edge until I see who it is.

  "Joel. What are you doing out here?" I asked.

  "I could ask you the same thing. Are you okay?"

  I nod and carry on staring into my cup. I have no idea how long I've been out here, but my skin is probably numb from the cold.

  "What are you doing out here at this time in shorts and a t-shirt? You'll freeze, woman."

  "I couldn't sleep."

  "Jasper in bed?"

  "They all are." I speak quietly as if I’m going to wake up the camp.

  "Do you fancy some company?"

  "Sure. Don't you have somewhere to be?"

  "Bed. Just like you, but I couldn't sleep either. I went for a run and I was just going home. Stay there. I'll grab the throw from the couch before you catch pneumonia."

  I laugh because he sounds just like my dad. I’m going to miss Joel when we go home. He's like a brother to me in such a short space of time. Joel returns with the blanket and places it around my shoulders. Instantly, I feel the relief. "Thanks."

  He sits down beside me on the steps and I rest my head on his shoulder. The camp is so still and peaceful. All I can hear is crickets or grasshoppers. It’s perfect. Peaceful.

  "You'll be looking forward to going home then."

  I shrug and continue to look into the distance. "I guess I should be. On one hand, I want to see my parents, but, on the other hand..." I pause and lift my head. "I don't know, Joel. It's all fucked up. Seeing my mother has just messed up my head. I'm glad she helped me. I'm glad she did what she did to save Markus, but now I feel empty. Lost even."

  "I get it. Jasper seems pretty cut up too. It was something none of us have seen before. Yes, witches and healers can do spells to communicate with the dead, but witnessing the Goddess do that was crazy. We didn't know your mum, but we felt the pain and emotion rolling from you and Jasper. In all my years of knowing the boss man, I've never seen him so upset. I just wish I had a magic wand to make it all right."

  "Me too. Can I ask you something?"

  "Of course." I turn slightly to look at Joel. "If I can answer it I will."

  "Would you ever be able to leave this pack and lead a normal life?"

  His eyebrows raise, his lips pout slightly, and his hand reaches out and takes mine. "Maybe when I was a child, before I came here to this pack. Now, honestly, I can't imagine doing a nine to five job, going to school, living in a town or city. So, to answer your question, no I couldn't leave here permanently. Why?"

  I shift nervously and place my coffee cup at my feet. "I don't know. I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to go to university, stay in dorms, live a student life."

  "But?"

  "But what if I can't do it? What if my wolf isn't happy? What if I don't want to do that now?" Tears roll down my cheeks again, and I don’t even try to rub them away. Joel's seen me cry more times than I can count now. He'll be used to it.

  "What are you saying, hun?"

  "I'm saying I don't know if I want that life anymore. But I don't want to hurt my family. Markus. Jasper. I was all set to go home until this happened. I guess it opened my mind to other possibilities."

  "Only you can make these decisions. Jasper and Markus will understand because they love you. You can't live your life to please everyone. Talk to Jasper. See what he thinks. If anyone can help you, it will be him."

  "Maybe."

  "What's going on?" I turn and see Markus slipping on his hoody as he leaves the cabin. "Lisa. Are you okay?"

  "I'm fine. I couldn't sleep. I came out here to sit, but Joel was on his way home from a run. We're putting the world to rights." I smile.

  Markus sits down at the other side of me, his warm arm wraps around my shoulders, and I burrow into his side. Joel stands up and rubbed his hands together to heat them up.

  "Well, now that you've got company, I'm going to bed. Lisa, talk to Jasper. Don't put it off." With his final words, Joel jogs back in the direction he came from.

  "What's going on, babe?"

  "Nothing. Well, there is something, but can we just go back to bed? I promise I'll talk to you and Jasper when I get up. Right now, I just want you to hold me."

  Markus and I stand together without breaking apart. His body heat feels amazing next to my cold skin. Now I just needed to relax and get a couple of hours' sleep, before I face my demons and get it all out in the open.

  ***

  I walk into the kitchen a few hours later. Markus, Jasper, and Kevin all turn to look at me the moment they hear my footsteps. My hair is still wet from my shower. I look myself up and down to see if I have something stuck to me.

  "What is it?" I ask.

  "Come and sit down," says Jasper as he holds a chair out for me.

  I sit down and let my hands fall into my lap. I’m nervous, and I have no idea why. It’s Jasper; I have nothing to be nervous about.

  "Will someone tell me what this is about?" I look up at Markus. He’s leaning against the worktop, legs crossed at the ankles, arms folded over his chest. If I didn't know him so well, I'd think he was being intimidating.

  "I thought you could tell me that, sweetheart." My eyebrows raise and I straighten in my chair. I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I'm all ears. "Okay, I thought we'd play this game. What's going on in that head of yours? Do you think I don't hear you up every night, walking the floors, sitting in the freezing cold night air? Talk to me."

  "This is just as hard for you, Jasper. The only difference is I'm not afraid to say I loved her. I might not have known her, but what she did for all of us, that was so
mething else."

  Silence. Jasper places his hands on the table and lets his elbows relax. "I did love... I do love your mother. I always have. I always will. That's why you need to talk to me. I can't help you if you don't, and I hate seeing you like this."

  I sit back in my seat and put all my defences down. Kevin has taken up a space beside Markus. "You heard me talking to Joel last night, didn't you?"

  "I did, but I want to hear it directly from you."

  "I'm just not sure what I want, Jasper. The thought of going back to my old life scares the shit out of me. Three weeks ago, I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to see the world, live my life. Now, I'm not sure any of it is me. What if going back isn't what I want anymore?"

  Jasper covers my hand with his and squeezes it. "What do you want me to say here, sweetheart?" I shrug. "Do you want my blessing to stay here? Do you think I'd leave you to fend for yourself if that's what you want to do? Let me say this only once, Lisa. Here, Anderson, you're stuck with me. What about Max and Val? What are you thinking?"

  "I don't know. It would be easier if I could tell them everything. To up and leave will kill us all. I'm being selfish because I need them in my life, Jasper."

  "You're not selfish. Your kind, loving, sweet... need I say more?"

  I smile and shake my head because I’m not big on hearing about my good qualities. I never have been, and that isn't going to change because I'm a wolf.

  "There isn't just me to think about in this though. Markus. Kevin. You. I can't be without you, and I'd go home and be miserable if it meant you were all with me, happy and content."

  My eyes lock on Markus. His jaw ticks, his muscles clench, his body tenses, and I can’t read him. "I can't speak for everyone, but our relationship will never change," says Jasper.

  "Carlos has offered me a place in the pack, I just haven't accepted yet," says Kevin. "I've just found you and I'm not losing you. If you want to go back to Anderson, Jasper has offered me a place to live until I get settled."

  I look at Jasper who hasn't taken his eyes away from me. It’s like he’s trying to see into my soul and get the answers for himself. I place my hand over his and let the tears fall freely from my eyes. "Thank you."

  "It's what I do, sweetheart. No thanks needed. Wait..." Jasper sits up straighter and scrunches his eyes together. "What? How?"

  I have no idea what he’s talking about and he has me pulling my hands out of his. "How did you do that?"

  "What?"

  "I could hear everything. Your thoughts, your feelings, your turmoil over this. What did you do?"

  "Nothing... but... when you looked into my eyes I imagined how good it would be for you to hear for yourself what I was thinking. Did you?"

  "Yes. Until I broke our connection." Jasper shakes his head and stands. "Okay. Markus. Your thoughts on this, please." It isn’t often I see Jasper flustered, but my mind trick obviously knocked him off course.

  Markus holds his hands out and shrugs. "If you can't answer the mind thing, how can I?"

  "Not that, you numpty. About what Lisa has said about pack life."

  Kevin laughs at Jasper's lack of patience, and I have to hold back because it isn’t usual for us to see this side of him. He’s usually so strong, level headed, and able to talk about anything.

  "I don't really have much of a say. We're mated. I'd follow her to the end of Earth."

  "No. I don't want you to follow me because we're ‘mated’." I hold my hands up as speech marks and scrape the chair across the ground. One comment turned this whole conversation on its head, and Jasper spins around in shock. "I want you to follow me because the human inside you wants to."

  "Unfortunately, he's right, Lisa," says Kevin. "A mated wolf wouldn't be able to live without their mate."

  "A relationship is about compromise. It's about working out what's best for both parties and going with it." I pace back and forth in front of the fire.

  "Right. What do you want, Markus?" asks Jasper, standing in between us as a mediator. "I swear to God, you two are going to give me a heart attack."

  "I love her. This changes nothing. If pack life is what she wants then I'll give it a go."

  "What about letting me speak with the council, just to see if we can break the rules for once and bring your parents into the equation? What if we try and work out something that will suit you both? Pack life and university; it gives you the best of both worlds. Plenty of shifters do it. In fact, it's common for shifters to be rich and famous."

  I finally stop pacing and sit on the arm of the chair. My head is buzzing with information. My heart is breaking for what I could lose, but I’m excited that I have possibilities. Opportunities.

  "Markus, what are you thinking?" asks Jasper.

  "It sounds like a plan. The best of both worlds, I mean. What happens when school has finished?"

  There’s always going to be something further down the line that we need to work out. Our lives and relationship are very different to the norm, and we're going to need to work at it.

  "We have a few years until we get there. Let's just see what happens. You can go to school and come out here for holidays. The odd weekend whenever you like. I'll need to okay it with Carlos, but I can't see him turning this down. You two are exactly what this pack needs."

  I stand up, grab my jacket, and point over my shoulder to the door. "I need some air."

  "I'll come with you. We can talk on the way," says Markus, finally moving away from the worktop.

  "Do you mind if we talk later? I just want to clear my head. I’ll stay within the perimeter of the camp."

  "Sure."

  I see the hurt and pain wash over Markus' face and my heart breaks for him. I’m pushing him away again. There’s only so much of this he can take before I push him away for good.

  Chapter 29

  Markus

  Lisa has been gone from the cabin for over an hour. I’m uneasy. I’m snappy. I’m just not myself, wondering what’s going on in that head of hers. Carlos and Joel stopped by five minutes after she left and we've spoken about nothing else.

  "If you need us to back you up, we're here," says Carlos. "It's 2017 we live in now. Plenty of humans know about our existence for the wrong reasons, and Lisa's family isn't one of them. Let us know what happens, but Markus and Lisa are welcome to join our pack on a part time basis while they're at school. I don't mind. Just keep me updated."

  "Thank you, Carlos," says Jasper.

  "Does that mean we're going to get you home for good?" Joel asks Jasper, patting him on the back.

  "I'm not a pack kind of guy anymore. I'll do my jobs for the council, be here when Markus and Lisa are, and be in Anderson when I have downtime. You'll see more of me, but definitely not full time."

  It seems like everyone is on board with what's happening, but I seem to be the only one who doesn't know whether he’s coming or going.

  "It will be nice to have you guys here, buddy." Joel slaps my back.

  "Yeah, I'm glad you're here." I smile as brightly as I can.

  "Everything will work out for you both. Believe it. What's that saying? Rome wasn't built in a day. Well, that's the same here. Nothing is going to be perfect at first, but with hard work, love and determination you'll have your Rome."

  " Thanks." I laugh.

  Jasper steps forward and ruffles Joel's hair, making him duck out of the way. "What happened to that mute boy I found years ago?"

  "Get away wae ye. But I'm a prime example of how pack life can work when you're in the right pack. If you can't fit in here, you'll fit into no pack."

  And that’s exactly what I’m afraid of. What if I'm not meant to be in a pack? What if this moving back and forth isn't for me? I've been used to the free lifestyle Jasper has given me. I'm a home bird but I like to fly the nest if and when I like. Being here there is going to be rules, regulations, battles. The opposite of what I’m used to.

  "I'm off. I'll see you guys later," says Joel.

  Just as
he turns to leave, Lisa turns the corner and smiles at Joel. He bends down and lifts her into his arms, spinning her around in circles playfully. "Put me down you big eejit," she yells, while giggles escape her. As quick as her feet were on the ground, Joel is gone, leaving Lisa to walk up the steps and right into my arms. My arms wrap around her, my head rested on hers and I look out into the camp. With Lisa in my arms, my wolf soothes, and I’m calm for the first time since I opened my eyes to an empty bed earlier in the morning.

  Chapter 30

  Lisa

  Today's the day we head back to Anderson. Thankfully, Jasper doesn't have us leaving here at the crack of dawn like he did on our trek up. We're leaving at lunch time, but first we need to go to the Alpha's cabin. I feel a sense of pride as I pack things away in my drawers for the next time I'm here. I don't have to trail all of my things back and forth which will be a bonus for impromptu trips Markus and I make in the future.

  "Is this all you’re taking home?" asks Jasper as I let my bags clunk down on the cabin floor.

  "Yip. Pack light is what you always tell me." I smile.

  Jasper sings, "Hallelujah! She finally listens. Maybe the next time we come up here we'll be on the road at a decent time."

  "Have my coffee ready and you've got a deal."

  I love this playful banter Jasper and I have going on. It’s nice to feel a tad normal again, because the last few weeks have been crazy. I keep pinching myself to make sure I'm not in any crazy nightmare. Unfortunately, everything is true and real.

  I'm a wolf shifter.

  I'm someone's soulmate.

  I'm going to grow powerful.

  I'm never going to live the same life again.

  "Right, you two ready to get out of here?" asks Markus eagerly.

  I have to wonder if he is just going along with the flow for me, because he doesn't seem comfortable talking about our future here, but he will say wherever I am, he'll not be far behind. I know we love each other more than anything in this world, and right now, that's all we need. We'll figure everything else out as we go along.