by Xyla Turner
Her head reared back. "I was what?"
"Over the top, Lori. You were spiraling out and you know it," I whispered.
She blinked and shook her head.
"Well, I got help," she countered.
"Yeah, sweetness. You did. Proud of you," I said.
"Don't call me that and I don't care what you are," she said.
"How long you going to be mad at me? Forever?" I asked. "Just want to know how long I should plan to beg for your forgiveness before I can take you as my own."
"Are you mad?" She gasped. "There's no goddamn way, I'd ever..."
She cut herself off and shook her head.
"Listen, we can play this little game if you want. I kiss you, you go and get engaged." I moved forward, so only she could hear me. "I make you cum three times and what next, you plan to elope just to escape the inevitable. I fucked up, sweetness, but you're fucking up now. You don't love that man. Why put him through that shit? You of all people should know how that feels; an unrequited love. So, Iet me be clear. I'll keep fighting for you, stealing those moments, seeking your forgiveness until you're mine. Those are my cards."
With that statement, I put my palms on the table and her look of shock turned to a glare.
“You think because you make some declaration of love, that’s all it takes. All things are forgiven? No, Connor, it does not work that way. You utterly humiliated me and for what? Yes, I was over the top, as you say. Yes, I needed a wake-up call and I got the help I needed. But you think all is well and forgiven. You think because I’m engaged now and haven’t thought about you, not one goddamn bit, that you can come in and sweep up the roadkill you left in your wake? Well,” she leaned in, “fuck you and the bike you rode in on.”
When she went to stand up, I grabbed her wrist and said, “Sweetness, you can be mad as a rattlesnake but I’m telling you, as the sun is yellow and the sky is blue, you’ll be mine. Every goddamn inch of you. For keeps. Want to know how I know, because we’re just right for each other. Fucked up in many ways, but we understand that shit better than anyone. Baby, you’re brave and I commend you on that. I’m a dick but I swear to you, I’ll spend my life fixing that shit. I won’t rest till I do.”
Lori shook her head, snatched her arm away from me and said, “Well, don’t rest. See if I care.”
Then she walked off and bumped into the next person I was planning to meet up with, Goliath. His eyebrows were up, so I simply laughed and said, “Now, tell me you got some wisdom on how to tame that.”
He shook his head and said, “Fuck, I came here looking for some wisdom from you.”
We laughed and talked some more about our women, trying to make amends or fix the shit we fucked up during the process. After a while, Razor and Bronx came by to talk membership with him. He seemed to be a solid dude looking for some good brothers and one thing was for sure; The Guardians were definitely that.
That night, after we all left Pepper's, I went to Razor and Kylie's place. The woman was getting bigger in the middle area and seemed to actually glow, if that was even possible. She said she was tired, so Razor carried her up the stairs while she protested the entire time and when he came back down, he had a smile on his face.
"Can see you're excited," I smiled as I sipped on the beer.
"Yes, I fucking am," he laughed. "Best thing that's ever happened to me besides Mace."
"How's he doing?" I asked about his first born.
"Great, we facetime almost every other night, since they have him traveling all over the country. He's having a blast." He sat down on the long sofa adjacent to me. "Now, what about you?"
"About what?" I asked.
"Your next steps. Seems like you can go a few different ways. That owner, he wants to meet up with ya and he's got a lot of rich, bike-riding friends too." Razor lifted the beer to his lips and continued, "My point is that you're skilled with your hands. Always have been. What you going to do about that?"
I laughed and said, "You always see shit about me I don't see."
"That's cause you ain't looking." Razor asked. "You making a move for Lori?"
My eyes met his sharp ones that always seemed to see right through me.
"Yeah."
"Okay, you have a shit load of money that’s in CD's and bonds from Guardian International. Including your work, missions, and our annual payouts. You have no debt and I know you must have a load of money from your time in the army. You live free and with that freedom, you have choices." Razor put down his beer. "Now, what will you choose?"
The man told no lies and yet managed to challenge me at the same time. I never looked at anything that came into my accounts or ledger with the Guardians but if I'd been with them for almost ten years, with no rent, car payment and the same bike that I paid for outright. I did have options, more options than I realized.
I left the President with more options and a small plan began to form in my head. Once I thought it through, then I'd act.
LORI HAD A STEADY ROUTINE for the most part and Saturday's were her days to go grocery shopping. Therefore, when we ran into each other in the diary aisle, she said, "You do know stalking is illegal. I should know."
I actually burst out laughing at her comment until my stomach started to ache. When I could open my eyes long enough to focus on her, she had stopped moving and was staring at me.
"I can't remember seeing you laugh, ever," she said absently.
This caused me to abandon my cart and approach her. "There are a lot of things you haven't seen from me."
She blinked and took a step back. "Connor, seriously. Leave me alone."
"Not happening, sweetness," I replied.
"So, you're going to be the stalker now? They have programs for things like this when we relapse. I was just in one," she commented.
"I like my new obsession.”
“Well, tough titties, because she doesn't feel the same," she said while holding her hand up, waving her shiny ring.
"If you think that shit will deter me, you really don't know me. If for one moment I thought it was real, I'd keep my distance; but you and I both know the truth. He's filler." I stood there waiting for her to rebuff me.
"So, let me get this clear." Lori turned to face me. "When I was head over heels obsessed with you, I wasn't good enough. Now that I'm with someone and engaged, not thinking of you, you're hell bent on being with me? Is that right? You say it's not because I'm with someone, then what is it. What's changed? You feel sorry that you drove me to a looney bin? Well, let me ease your conscience. You didn't. I did that by spending way too much of my life worrying about someone who couldn’t give two shits about me."
She had no idea and this wasn't the place to tell her. Contemplating my shoes, I said, "That's not true, Lori."
"Really? What is it then?" she countered. "Cat got your tongue?"
She was in my face at that point, so I looked up and said, "Sweetness, you in my face like this, says something big time. You want it or just flaunting it because I can't have it?"
Lori's eyes grew wider then she took a mini step back. I grabbed the phone out of her pocket and programmed my number in it.
"Now, you have my number. Call me when you want it." With those final words, I made my exit with not one grocery item and a silent Lori watching me.
8 - I Want it
LORI:
Hate was no longer the word I associated with Connor Locklear. Livid, bothered, and despised were the words that I decided to use to describe the asshole.
Did I want it?
Ugh.
The sad part about everything he'd been saying was for my part, he was right. I wasn't in love with Henry. He was a nice convenience but I didn't want to do what I didn't want done to me. I couldn't live with that; which is why I was buying groceries. I would make dinner to discuss it with him.
"My favorites again," Henry commented as we sat down to eat.
I nodded but he sat back and looked at me. Taking another sip of wine to calm my n
erves was probably not helping matters.
"You don't want to get married," he said.
"Henry, I don't love you. I said I was falling for you but I'm not going to lie and say that I feel the same way as you. That's just not right or fair to you."
"You can grow into that, Loriline," he countered.
"What?" I gasped. "No. Who does that?"
"Many people do it, all over the world. Arranged marriages have a higher success rate than the traditional marriages with people who are supposedly in love."
His words did not make sense because he claimed to love me and according to what he was saying now, he might have been lying.
"So, are you saying you don't love me either?" I asked.
"Well, I have love for you, but at present you're more of a suitable match for me. We have fun, we understand each other and we are very compatible." He made it sound so logical.
"Wow." I laughed.
Without a thought, I pulled the ring off my finger and placed it next to him.
"I'd like you to go."
"Wait, wait." He stood up. "Loriline, let's take a moment to calm down before we do or say something we'll regret."
"No,” I said. “This I won't regret. The engagement is off and so is this relationship. What I won't do is deal with lies. You of all people should know, I've been through too much shit to have to deal with this."
"It's that guy, isn't it?" His features turned dark. "You've fallen off the wagon and are holding out for him, aren't you? Have you fallen back into an obsessive mindset yet?"
"Excuse me?" I gasped. "I've done no such thing. We're done."
Moving towards the door, I held it open and waited for him to leave. Slowly, he stood, pocketed the ring and made his way to the door.
"You're wrong. You'll regret this." He walked out. “He’s going to leave you high and dry, then you’ll be back at the center and want me to pick up the pieces.”
Red hot anger threatened to take over but all I said was, "I definitely won't."
Then I slammed the door shut.
After a few more sips of wine, I tossed all of the food and his plate in the garbage then I texted Kylie and Shay.
Me: The engagement is off.
Kylie: What?!?!?!
Shay: Thank God
Me: Y'all were right.
Kylie: Want some company?
Shay: Yeah, I'm coming.
Me: No, no. I'm good. Just getting some shit together.
Shay: You sure. I need you to be honest if you need something
Me: I know Shay. Promise, I'm good. One weight has been lifted
Kylie: Yeah, I know that feeling
Shay: Same
Me: I'll see y'all tomorrow okay?
Shay: Counting on it.
Kylie: Yup – see you then.
After another sip, I sent another text.
Me: Come over w/ food
I HEARD THE ROAR OF a bike and it had me taking another sip of wine. What had I done? Chips and the red wine weren't a good combination but I was hungry and refused to cook another thing that night. I heard the sound of his boots and then I saw him standing on the outside of my gate.
Connor fucking Locklear.
He'd come and brought food.
The gate was open, so he walked in where I was sitting with my feet up on the bench he bought for my garden. The man walked on the pavers all the way to me, picked up my legs and sat down.
"Your favorite." He smirked.
"You have bad news too?" I laughed.
"Nope, best night of my life already," he said.
"No need to butter me up. I'm pretty sure you're going to get it tonight." I chuckled.
Yup, I was definitely tipsy.
"Eat something." Connor handed me the bag.
Yup, the man knew what my favorites were; there was grilled chicken with bacon, and mozzarella cheese on a sour dough bun with a special ranch sauce. I smiled up at him before I took a huge bite. He had one as well, so we ate in silence as his hand rubbed up and down my legs, sending all sorts of electricity through my body.
He smelled exceptionally good, which also triggered the rest of my hormones. As I thought of what we both knew was going to happen, every hair on my body was standing on edge and I wouldn't have been surprised if my actual short cut was standing up as well.
"So..." I didn't fully get my thought out before I was being hurled on top of Connor’s lap as my legs straddled him.
He was looking up at me with bedroom eyes that melted my insides. I wanted to hate him so much but I couldn't and we both knew it.
"I called off the engagement."
"I know." He nodded towards my left hand on his chest.
Then he grabbed my hand and placed it on his mouth, where he kissed it repeatedly. Then he kissed each finger and tip before he placed one of them in his mouth to suck on the greasy digit.
It was hot as hell and my panties were soaked.
Those kisses traveled to my wrist, elbow and shoulder where Connor pulled my dress strap off exposing my left boob.
"So fucking beautiful," he sighed before he wrapped those lips around my nipple.
The moan that escaped my mouth was louder than I expected. My fingers wrapped around his long locks as I pulled him into me for more. My body was on fire and I swear the man just poured gasoline on the blazing flame. Connor finally pulled back and grabbed my other hand to repeat the same process. When he finished, he pulled back and said, "Stand up."
I obeyed him and then he instructed me to turn around, where he unzipped my dress and let it fall to the ground. There I stood, in nothing but my thong and sandals. I placed my hands over the sides of my thighs to cover the cuts because there was no way I wanted this man of all men, to know that about me.
"Turn back around," he directed.
Unashamedly, I obeyed and we stared at each other hopefully passing the same silent messages back and forth. His eyes were blazing and they were on me.
"You want this?" he asked.
I nodded my head but he shook his.
"Need the words, sweetness."
"Yes." I nodded.
"Fuck," he muttered. "You're going to be the death of me."
Connor stood up, lifted me and carried me to the back door, up the stairs and to my bedroom. He pulled off his cut, ripped his shirt off and dropped his jeans while kicking off his boots. His chiseled chest with the skull tattooed in the center and his Celtic ink scrolled down his arm both seem to come alive as the heat in the room scorched away all my good sense. Throwing a few condoms on the bed, he said, "If it gets too much, just tell me."
"Talk is cheap," I countered.
He laughed and said, "I'm missing a patch of hair from the last time I made your pretty little pussy cum."
My legs spread wide open for him to do that again and he said, "Yup, she knows who she belongs too."
I was about to counter that claim until his lips started sucking on my clit. That was all she wrote because I was on cloud nine as he brought me to two climaxes with his mouth as I was holding onto chunks of his hair.
When Connor finished, he put on a condom and said, "Ready, sweetness?"
"The question is, are you ready?"
He slapped my wet pussy and I loudly moaned my pleasure. Connor mounted me and rubbed his large head over my wet cunt and slowly pushed in.
Goddamn, he was huge.
"Rub that pretty clit, sweetness," he murmured as his seductive gaze coated my body causing me to fall under his spell.
He'd get no objections from me as I rubbed and rubbed until he was all the way inside. Then he grabbed me by the wrists, put them above my head with one hand and started to make the headboard bang against the wall over and over. The wings of the dragon that he had tattooed under his left rib seemed to move as he powered in and out of me.
It was so goddamn hot.
OMG.
Connor rocked inside of me causing me to climax again and again until he finally released. When he final
ly let my wrists go, I was completely out of breath and damn near licking the sweat from his chest. Well, I was biting his nipple but God, he was everything. Demanding, controlling, sweet and definitely a number fifteen.
He was dripping and I was soaked with him from the strenuous but beautiful activity. My senses were dulled and nothing could have woken me from that haze. I'd never been ravished like that and shit, it was awesome.
"Sweetness," Apollo said as he dropped off to my side. "You alright?"
"God, yes," I breathed.
He exhaled and pulled me into him while he played with my hair.
"Why'd you cut your hair?" he asked.
"Makeover." I was still slightly out of breath. "New me, new scene."
"Hmm." He mumbled in my hair.
"You don't like it?" I asked.
"I like something to grab on to besides that heart-shaped ass." A hand came down on my bare butt, causing me to moan into his chest.
Without any thought, I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes. Though I’d dreamed of this happening for many years, and it was now damn-near impossible to see continuing, we had the rest of tonight to enjoy.
Connor pulled me into him and sighed, "Don't let this night end."
There was no need to say anything because it would end effective the next morning.
IT WAS WRONG AND ALTHOUGH I knew it in advance, I still rolled out of bed, freshened up and snuck out my own house to go see one of my co-workers at the library. We had a project at work which required some old-school research that was only available in the digital archives located at the Lancaster Library. That was sure to keep my mind off the man I left in my bed and the one I could never see again.
"Mami, you look, uh, fresh outta bed." Vita smiled. "Like with a man who likes to pull hair, outta bed."
My face had to have gone pale because Vita gasped and said, "You did get some with a man that pulls hair."
"Is it that obvious?" I whispered as I tried to smooth my short style into submission.
"Oh, don't worry." Vita was beaming. "It's a good look. I get none these days. This job has me working double time since I'm going for that promotion. Plus, I can't even find a half decent man. These guys here in the Burg are ugh."