by Xyla Turner
Vita always used her hands when she talked so we all knew to back away when she started to get upset. I was the newbie at our branch but she had been there for a few years already. Therefore, she was the veteran and I learned a while ago, when on a new job, sit back, listen and learn for the first year. Don't run your mouth, don't side with anyone but see who the real movers and shakers are on the job and Vita is definitely one of them. She was super cute, nice and vocal, which fit her personality.
"There are many hot guys where I live. Hope you don’t have anything against motorcycle clubs, because most of the guys I know are bikers but they’re the good kind. They have a bounty hunting business along with so many other ventures. It's some new age shit but they're good," I vouched.
"What's the name of the club?" She looked interested.
"Oh, they're the Legion of Guardians."
"Ohhh, yeah. I've heard of them. A group had helped a cousin of mine a few years ago. Mami, you know them? Did one of them do that?" She pointed at my hair. "Girl, please let me tag along."
I laughed as I thought about who did that to my hair.
"Uh, yeah. One of those bikers did this but we're not a thing. That was just once," I clarified. "However, the Guardians are all over."
"Okay. Then, I'm down. I need to get a life, Lori." She laughed, then she turned serious. "I've accomplished everything I've ever wanted. I'm going for this position because I need something to focus on. But, I've realized while it's great to attain all of these things in life, if you have no one to share it with, what's the fucking point?"
She shook her head.
"I bought a house, I own my car, I've traveled and I have a couple of friends but their married and I don't want to seem like a third wheel. So, should I take up knitting or something?"
We laughed but I understood what she meant. Women that were highly successful for the most part didn't really settle early and sometimes not at all. Even Kylie and Shay were older when they settled. It could be quite discouraging.
"I completely understand." I assured Vita. "I do."
"Come on, let's get this done. Didn't mean to whine about my lack of drama." She half-laughed.
"No problem. Who do we share this sort of stuff with if not fellow sisters." I thought of Shay. "My best friend, Shay, says we should always let it out. No matter how bad it gets or it is. Anyway, you're welcome to hang out with us wherever we go. The more the merrier."
Vita looked at me with careful eyes before she said, "Lori, you got a deal."
My phone was in my purse and on vibrate during my time at the library. When I finally checked it on the way back to Manor, I had twelve missed calls. Two each from Shay and Kylie and the rest were from Connor. There was no need to check the voicemails because I could already hear him growling through the phone.
Instead I called Shay and Kylie on three way.
"What's up?" I asked them.
"Girl, what did you do?" Shay asked.
"What?" I asked.
"Apollo is blowing up our phones looking for you," Shay said.
"He just left here looking for you," Kylie added.
"Oh God," I muttered. "It's a long story and I'll tell you when I see y'all. Do we have to go to Peppers?"
"Yeah, I have a gig tonight, plus Razor wants us to meet with one of the new recruit’s lady. She's coming to check out the town and of course the company."
"When did we become the welcoming squad?" Shay asked.
"When y'all decided to get hitched to the President and Vice-President," I reminded them.
"Oh yeah." Shay laughed.
"Well, that ain't me...so when y'all finish, swing by for some ice cream and I'll share all," I said.
"Oh no, heifer," Shay interrupted. "You better bring your ass down to Peppers, or I'll sic Apollo on your ass."
"You wouldn't," I gasped.
"You already know she would," Kylie reminded me.
"Fine, but I'm telling you – I will make a scene if he comes at me the wrong way," I warned them.
"I'm sure you'll be fine." Kylie was trying to keep the peace as usual.
"Yeah." Shay sounded less sure.
"Fine, don't say you weren't warned," I said. "See y'all soon."
I HAD TO TIME MY ENTRY into Peppers just right. The guest had to be there and Connor had to be there because Bronx and Razor would keep him from making a scene, or so I hoped.
We met with a vibrant woman named Phoebe and her man's name was Goliath. She was funny as hell and had a contagious laugh. We sat over there making fun of the alpha men, while they sat staring at us.
"They're probably over there, scared of what trade secrets we might share with each other," Phoebe joked.
"Girl, yes." Shay nodded.
"We’ll just tell them it was about sex and then they'll be like – oh yeah," Kylie said and we all erupted in laughter.
"The crazy part is they are nothing but big ass teddy bears. As big as Goliath is and as tough as he is, I swear that man will cuddle in lap and stay there all day if I didn't have to pee." Phoebe laughed. "Then he's like, hurry back."
She extended her hand in the air, demonstrating him. We were in stiches and I thought of Apollo, hugging me as if I were going somewhere. Well, I did but still.
"Your bikers cuddle, right?" Phoebe leaned in and whispered.
"Do they!" Shay replied and looked at Kylie.
"Hell yeah."
We all laughed again as I knew the answer to that but I couldn't reveal it to them just yet. After a while, Razor had summoned us over but I hung back and kept my distance. They all talked as I tried to remain silent and low-key until I felt a presence near my side.
"Need to talk with you," Connor whispered.
I whispered back, “Leave me alone, Connor.”
“I need to talk to you now, Lori. Now are ya coming or am I putting you over my shoulder?” He was no longer whispering.
“Fuck,” I exclaimed and turned towards the door to leave with him trailing behind me.
I dared not look at my girls but instead burst through the door. There Connor grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back further into the parking lot behind a truck.
"What the fuck was that this morning?" he said through gritted teeth. "The best night of my life and I wake up to a vacant bed and house."
"I had to go and handle some business," I replied with my arms over my chest.
"Lori, don't fuck with me, not you of all people. Don't fuck with my head. You know what last night meant and you just bailed." Connor was livid.
"I'm not sure what it meant for you." I unfolded my arms and glared back at him. "For me, it was an old dream come true but that was it. Nothing more and it's over. So, we move on with our lives."
"You're not this bitch you've portrayed yourself to be. Cursing, short hair, fancy clothes, nice ride; this isn't the Lori I know." He was shaking his head.
"No, the Lori you know was pining after you like a love-sick puppy. Stalking and following you like the sick person she was and after her wake-up call, that ended. No more," I explained. "That Lori is not coming back, Connor."
"I don't want that Lori back. I want my Lori back. She was kind-hearted, sweet, simple and honest." He took a step towards me and said, "I want my Lori back."
My face moved into his where I sneered, "You never had Lori."
"Bullshit," he snapped back. "Told you the first two times, one kiss would prove it all."
His forehead hit mine. We were breathing heavy. My heart was racing and my adrenaline was pumping. His body was pressed against mine and my hands were on his chest, while his right hand had my hair in a possessive grip.
“Connor, we cannot do this, okay?” I was pleading.
“Why?” Apollo said through gritted teeth. “Why won’t you fucking admit it. It’s okay to want to be with me. Nobody cares about before. I was drunk, fucked up, and out of my mind. How long will you make me pay for that shit? Told you, I know about it. I know what it’s like.”
&nbs
p; “You’ll never understand.” I shook my head. “You don’t get it. You fucking humiliated me. The whole town has cried for poor Lori. Feel sorry for Lori. She was so in love and now I’ve been publicly embarrassed. You think now I can just go out with you, like nothing ever happened. Like, oh poor Lori, finally got her man. No!”
I pushed against him.
“I’ll never be with you. Never!” I yelled because he needed to leave me alone.
“Even though you love me. Even though, I told you I’d spend my life making it up to you. Even though you want me more than that prick you were thinking of marrying. Despite all of that, you care what people think. You’re better than that. You came back and said, fuck me. Now why can’t you say, fuck them?” Connor asked as he let me go.
I straightened my clothes and sneered, “I won’t say fuck them because they weren’t the one who stole my heart, crushed it into a million tiny pieces and then tried to waltz back in my life to tell me to get over it.”
Tears started pouring down my face.
“They didn’t do that, Connor. You did. Now, for the last time, leave me the fuck alone. We will never be!”
Those were my parting words as I turned the opposite way and went back towards the bar. I heard him calling after me, but as soon as I got back inside, I went through the side door so I could leave undetected. Connor wouldn't stop and I was not in the mood to deal with his shit.
The tears wouldn't stop coming down my face nor would his declaration that I loved him stop running through my mind.
Why was he doing this to me?
I just wanted to live my life and I'd reconciled that it would be free of Connor Locklear when I was away. That dream died when I cut too deep.
It died and it needed to stay dead because that sick version of Lori could not live again.
9 - Serious Shit
APOLLO:
My pen moved at the speed of lightning over my notepad of shit I had to get done, people I had to talk to, and merchandise I had to buy. Even Shay could help me with some of the things I needed to get.
It would take some time to get everything together but this was phase five of my plan. Some of the things I should have started before but now I knew I had to come to the table with something else besides a big cock and wicked tongue. Women grew sick of that shit if they didn't feel financially secure, and of course physically and emotionally stable.
When I told Razor what I was trying to do, he said, "You're shitting me, right?"
"The fuck I'm not." I stood on the other side of his desk. "I told you, I'm going to get her by any fucking means necessary. Best place to do that is on her turf."
"Listen, I'm not knocking it. Shit, it's brilliant. I just know you like to live free. Work when you want, do what you want, wherever you want. So, you're talking about buying a fucking house right next to hers and starting one of those landscaping-gardening businesses?"
One side of his salt and pepper goatee was turned up along with the parallel eyebrow.
"Fuck is the point of living free when that freedom and life is wrapped up in someone else? It's like walking around unfulfilled and the point is to be full. Right?" I asked the man who had pulled me out of a shit hole.
Razor's face returned to normal as he eyed me before he said, "Fucking, bingo. I'm walking around with all these declarations about the type of woman I wanted, how old she had to be and how she could always leave in the morning. Fucking Kylie came and bust all that shit wide open. Didn't know it before, but I wasn't living. Now, I'm fucking living with my old lady by my side, about to have my second child. That's my partner, my goddamn rib and that's living."
My head shook.
"I want that, Raze. I didn't know it. I never envied you or Bronx or the other married guys. Never. But I want that now and only with her. It ain't cause I can't have her. It's just her and on some level it was probably always her," I confessed.
Razor leaned forward and said, "What can I do to help?"
"Well, going to need a realtor, somebody to go over my finances with, and anybody that can help with starting a business. I have a couple of jobs lined up but I want to make sure I have insurance just to make everything legit."
"Done," Razor said, as he started going through his old-school rolodex. "Don't start your shit about my system either."
I laughed at the President but after the fifth number I plugged in my phone, I was grateful he had any system.
MY TIME AT Peppers had been scarce with trying to get everything together. All that shit was a job and a half in itself. Shay came by to visit me one day but we had to cut it short since I had to go sign the papers for the house.
"What are you up to?" she asked.
"Normal shit," I answered.
"Naw, you're up to something. Won't you tell me a little bit?" she chided.
"Yeah, if you do something for me."
"Depends." Her eyebrow raised.
"I need some professional pictures of Lori's yard," I told her as I gathered my cut and slid it on.
"That's it?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Okay, then you got to tell me why."
"I'm starting my own landscaping business. Nobody knows except Razor and Bronx and it stays that way. Right?" I narrowed my eyes on her.
"Right, right."
She nodded. "Wow, Apollo. This is some serious shit."
"Yeah, I guess," I said, walking towards the door.
Shay grabbed my arm and said, "No, Apollo. This is serious. No guessing involved. I'm happy for you."
I put my arm around her neck as we left my room and said, "Thanks Shay. It must be legit because you say whatever the fuck you want."
"Well, there you go." She patted my chest.
"You know, I never understood y'alls friendship before but I get it." Bronx turned the corner and looked at us suspiciously.
"What?" Shay asked.
"The two of y'all. Both of you are some hard-headed mother fuckers, who speak before you think, and are probably more alike than different with your bar brawls and shit."
I looked at Shay and sighed. "Guess that's us."
We both laughed and then she left me and got under Bronx’s arm. "But this is my real partner."
"Oh, everybody knows." We laughed again. "Alright guys, I got to run but go break a headboard or some shit."
"Will do," Bronx called back as I headed out.
As I was about to get on my bike, I saw a familiar man approaching me. My leg came back down as I reached for my side-pocket knife.
“Apollo,” Henry called.
“Yeah,” I answered as I opened my stance and squinted at the punk.
“You should stay away from Lori,” he mimicked my stance but remained on the other side of my bike.
“You forget where you’re at?” I asked.
“Stay away from her,” he repeated.
That comment had me moving around the bike to face him directly.
“Or?” I asked.
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough.” He wasn’t deterred by my proximity to him. “She’s suffered enough from the hands of you.”
“You think you’ll do better?” I was in his face. “You think you can take care of her better than me? Watch out for her, protect her, and meet all her needs?”
His face blanched.
“Look, she called off your engagement.” I reminded him. “I had nothing to do with that shit so if I were you, I’d stay out of Guardian territory and away from Lori.”
“Despite appearances, I’m not scared of you.” Henry stepped forward.
“Despite my actions thus far.” I pulled my hunting knife out of my pocket and moved the release latch, causing the crisp sound of a blade finding freedom. “I will slit you from chin to navel if you keep testing my patience.”
The coward went pale and took a step back.
“That’s how you plan to protect Lori?” he asked. “With violence?”
“Every fucking time.” I leaned in. “L
isten, dumb ass. If I were you, I’d get gone. I’m in a good mood but you’re pushing it.”
“I love her.” The man seemed resolute.
“The sad part is you believe that shit.” I shook my head. “You’ve been engaged four times in three years. If you at any point thought that you were going to swoop in and just take her for a ride, you were seriously out of your mind. Her friends would have hurt you before we did. Leave her the fuck alone, boy.”
My knife was in his face as I tried to emphasize my point.
“Everything alright?” Shiz was walking over as his hand moved toward the back of his pants for his gun, no doubt.
“Is it?” I asked.
Henry’s head nodded quickly as he turned and walked down the dusty road to his car.
“Fuck is that about?” Shiz asked me as a long brown car pulled up in front of the shop.
“He trying to find his balls,” I answered and mounted my bike.
“Holy fuck,” Shiz gasped.
“What?” I turned around to see Shiz staring at the woman who just vacated the car. “You know her?
At first he didn’t respond, then he said, “Know her. She just fucked up my bike yesterday. A case of mistaken identity. What the fuck is she here for?”
“Wait, that was your bike looking like somebody chewed it up for lunch?” I laughed.
“Yup.” He was shaking his head as the woman turned towards us and pointed at Shiz.
“You,” she called.
“Oh, fuck,” I murmured.
“Why’d you call the insurance company?” she yelled across the dirt covered road that separated the shop from the rooms.
“Excuse me?” Shiz asked in confusion.
“You heard me,” she replied.
The woman was a short thing with meat on her bones and in all the right places.
“Lady, the fuck are you doing here?” Shiz snapped back at her.
“Why did you call the insurance company?” she asked again with her spikey black hair gelled up, a short jacket on and fitted jeans with a pair of designer boots.
“Because they needed to pay so my shit could get fixed,” he replied.