The Sinner: A High School Bully Romance (Haven Grace Prep Book 1)

by Kelsey Clayton

  With nothing else to say, she walks away and leaves me alone to wonder what she meant by that. I saw how afraid she was that night, and there is no way it was a ploy to get in my arms. Her fear was too genuine, too painstakingly real to be faked.

  My mind instantly remembers the bruise on her ribcage. She said it was from dance, but what if it wasn’t? I try to remind myself that her safety and wellbeing aren’t my problem, but the second I see Delaney in the hallway, it all goes out the window. She needs someone, and while it can’t be me, that doesn’t mean she should be alone.

  “Laney,” I call out to her. She stops and waits for me as I catch up. “Hey. You and I need to talk.”

  15

  Savannah

  Pirouette. Three rotations. Turnout. Grand jeté.

  I throw myself into the moves, using each one to distract my mind from thoughts of Grayson. Lennon follows along with a mastered skill. We both move in sync, showing how compatible we are as a duet. Brady stands off to the side and watches the choreography for any errors while controlling the music.

  “Lennon, work on your face. You look pained,” he tells her.

  She laughs, not faltering in her moves at all. “You try keeping up with her. You’d be in pain too.”

  I ignore their banter and focus on the routine. In the recital, I have four dances—a solo, a duet with Lennon, a duet with Brady, and a group routine with me as the featured dancer. It may be a lot to take on, but I’ve never liked anything more. Dancing is my escape, my happy place. When I’m letting my body get lost in a song, it’s like nothing else in the world matters.

  Arabesque. Front Aerial. Fouetté. Turn. Run. Split. Pirouette. Turnout. Fall. Pose.

  As the music ends, I can see how hard Lennon is breathing, while I’ve barely broken a sweat. She looks at me in disbelief and shakes her head as she falls to the floor.

  “That’s it. I’m convinced. You’re superhuman.”

  I grab my water bottle from the windowsill and sit down to rest against the wall. “No, I’ve just been doing this for years. Over a decade even. It’s all I know.”

  Brady plays some background music and joins us on the floor to stretch, warming up for our duet. “I always judge Savannah’s mood on how hard she dances.,” he offers, and it reminds me of how well he knows me. “Like today, there’s something on her mind. Something she’s trying to avoid.”

  “Ooh. Do tell.” Lennon rolls onto her stomach and rests her chin on her fist.

  I shake my head. “There’s nothing to tell. I just really want to do well at the recital, that’s all.”

  It’s wrong to lie to my best friend, and making Grayson right about me sucks, but it’s better than the alternative. If I told Brady that I lost my virginity, and who I lost it to, he would lose his shit. Protective is an understatement for what he is when it comes to me. I’m already beating myself up over all this. I don’t need his lecture on top of it.

  Sleeping with Grayson was a bad move. I know that. It gave him another thing to hold over my head. But, in that moment, with him less than an inch away from me and looking in my eyes like he needed me to ease the pain, I’ve never wanted anything more.

  I thought maybe things would be different after that night. Don’t get me wrong, I never expected him to magically fall in love with me and everything to be okay, but I didn’t think he’d still be a cold-hearted asshole. Hearing him continue to flirt with Kinsley right in front me stung. I had hoped that at the very least he would stop that, but I was wrong.

  When I saw him waiting for me behind the bleachers, I had every intention of telling him to go fuck himself. However, the second he kissed me, all the willpower I had to resist him vanished. Kissing Grayson is just as exciting and heart stopping as it was the first time, when we were ten years old and sitting on top of his roof, under the stars.

  The level of certainty in his voice as he told me that I’m his sent shockwaves straight through me and made me clench around nothing. He could have taken me right then and there, and I probably would’ve let him. It made one thing very clear to me—turning him down is not something I have the ability to do. It’s a scary revelation, because that means I’m completely at his mercy.

  I’M JUST ABOUT TO get in the shower when there’s a knock at my front door. As soon as I open it, I feel like someone hit me with a bus. Delaney stands on the other side, looking just as shocked as I feel.

  “Fucking Grayson,” I grumble under my breath and open the door wider to let her in.

  She gives me a warm smile as she steps inside and looks around the hellhole I’ve been so very blessed with. That’s the thing about Delaney—she always tries to withhold judgment of others. However, I’ve known her since I was a kid, and I can almost hear the thoughts running through her head.

  “What are you doing here?”

  She shoots me questioning look. “I could ask you the same thing.”

  My eyes roll harshly. “Yeah, yeah. Perfect Savannah Montgomery is really just a poor chick from the wrong side of town. Quit the shit and just tell me why you’re here.”

  Placing a hand on her hip, she shakes her head. “Okay, stop. Just because your life went a little downhill doesn’t mean you can be rude to everyone around you.”

  “A little downhill? Look around, Delaney! This place looks like it’ll fall apart with too strong of a breeze. I’d hardly call going from living in the house next to yours to this shit hole just ‘a little downhill.’ ” As she remains quiet, I take a deep breath and run my fingers through my hair to calm down. “Are you going to tell everyone?”

  “No.” She answers without any hesitation at all, catching me off guard. After how I’ve been the past few years, I wouldn’t blame her for a second if she went to school tomorrow and shouted it from the rooftops.

  “Why not?”

  “Because.” She shrugs. “You used to be my best friend, and I miss that. I miss you.”

  All the emotions from the last couple weeks take over as I start to tear up. I cross the room quickly and pull her into my arms. It’s been so long since I had a friend as good as her, and I was wrong to assume she would think any less of me for where I live.

  We stand in the middle of the living room, sobbing like babies and squeezing each other like our lives depend on it. By the time we pull apart, our faces are soaked and my mascara is running.

  “You look like a raccoon,” she giggles, reaching up to wipe away some of the makeup. “I think I just made it worse.”

  I laugh and go toward the bathroom to wash up. “My room is just down the hall. You can wait in there. I’ll only be a minute.”

  After I rid my face of all things cosmetic, I pull my phone from my pocket and send a quick text to Grayson.

  Savannah: You sent Delaney to my house?! Are you out of your mind?

  As I walk down the hallway, a response comes in.

  Grayson: Depends on who you ask. Have fun.

  I roll my eyes.

  Savannah: Oh, I will, and jokes on you. She’s not going to expose me.

  Grayson: Damn.

  I could spend all day overevaluating his sarcasm and trying to figure out what it means, but that would be pointless. He’s so different from the boy I remember. To understand him, I’d need to get closer, but that process alone is dangerous. One of us will end up hurt, and I have a feeling it won’t be him.

  DELANEY AND I SPEND hours catching up. She tells me about how her older sister Ainsley went away to college, which doesn’t surprise me. After graduating valedictorian three years ago, I’d expect nothing less. She also fills me in on what Tessa has been up to lately. I’d heard plenty of the rumors going around, but I never thought they were true—especially the one about her dating Easton, one of Knox’s best friends.

  “What did your dad have to say about that? I can’t imagine he was okay with it.”

  She laughs. “I mean, if you call getting into a screaming match with Tess as he told her she’s forbidden from seeing him okay with it,
then sure.”

  “Oh God.” I face palm. “That probably only made her want to date him more.”

  “Worse. She slammed a door so hard the chandelier fell from the ceiling and shattered on the floor.”

  My jaw drops. “She didn’t!”

  Laney nods. “Oh, she definitely did. And then she went and snuck out her window to go see Easton. My dad threatened to send her to boarding school, but you and I both know it’s an empty threat.”

  “She’d get kicked out anyway,” I reply, only half joking.

  The front door opens and then slams shut. A wave of dread washes over me as I look at Delaney, eyes wide and pleading. She may already know I’m poor, but I seriously doubt my father is sober right now, so she’s about to know all my secrets.

  “Savannah!” he shouts, sure enough slurring my name while he stumbles down the hall. “Whose expensive ass car is in front of my house?” Appearing in the doorway, his sights land on Delaney. “Well, I’ll be damned—little Delaney Callahan. Look at you! You must be eighteen by now.”

  Her brows furrow as she looks between the two of us. “Uh, not for another few months.”

  My father, the sick fuck that he is, blatantly checks her out before frowning. “That’s too bad.”

  “Dad, Delaney was just leaving.” I stand up from my bed, praying she follows my lead. I turn and give her a look. “I’ll walk you out.”

  She fakes a smile. “Thanks. It was nice seeing you again, Mr. Montgomery.”

  He stares at her chest as we slip by him, making me nearly vomit in my mouth. “Yeah, you too. Come by anytime.”

  I don’t think I’ve ever rushed out of my house so fast, and Delaney is hot on my heels. As soon as reach her car, she looks back at the house and then at me.

  “Jeez, Savannah! What in the world happened to him?”

  I really don’t have the answer to that question. Shrugging, I say, “Drugs? Alcohol? Who the fuck knows exactly, but I don’t have time to get into it. He’ll follow me out here if I don’t get back in there soon.”

  She gives me one last hug before unlocking her car. “I’m really glad we’re friends again.”

  I smile. “Me, too.”

  When I go back inside, my father is already drinking straight from a bottle of Jack Daniels. He grunts as he sees me, which I’m totally prepared to ignore until he opens his mouth.

  “That Callahan girl grew up nice,” he tells me. “When’s her birthday again?”

  Maybe it’s the fact that I have a lot to make up for when it comes to her, or that I just got her back in my life, but every protective bone in my body narrows in on him.

  “Leave her alone.”

  He laughs. “You have some nerve trying to tell me what to do.”

  I stand my ground and step closer. “If you want to be a sick disappointment of a man, that’s on you, but leave Delaney out of your mess.”

  Before I know it, he’s up and rushing toward me, gripping me by the neck and pinning me to the wall. “Excuse me, you ungrateful little bitch.”

  “Go ahead, leave a mark where everyone at school will see,” I croak out, and he lets go but still stands too close.

  He looks down at me, trying to intimidate me with his height. “You’re lucky I don’t kill you.”

  “Lucky?” I scoff. “That’d be doing me a favor.”

  I know it’s the wrong thing to say the second I see his face. My eyes look for somewhere else to go, anywhere to escape him, but I’m stuck. Rearing his fist back, he slams it directly into the side of my head, and everything goes black.

  I go into Gray’s room and find his window wide open. My feet pad across the room as I stick my head out and see him sitting on the roof. I smile and climb out to join him while he looks at the stars.

  “I thought I might find you out here.”

  He grins, making my heart beat faster. “It’s so pretty when there are no clouds in the sky.”

  Tipping my head back, I realize how amazing it looks, all lit up. “Wow, it is.”

  We sit in a comfortable silence, neither one of us wanting to ruin the moment. Still, it seems like something is bothering him, and I’ve never been able to feel at ease when he’s not.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He shakes his head just slightly, but then sighs. “It’s nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing if it’s making you sad on a night like this.” I nudge him with my elbow. “What is it?”

  He’s quiet for a moment, as if he’s trying to decide whether he should tell me or not. I’m about to ask again when he finally speaks.

  “I don’t know what I want,” he admits. “Maybe it’s a new bike, maybe it’s my best friend.”

  What? Did he just admit to liking me? That he wants me? He looks over at me with a sheepish grin on his face, and I realize he did. My face breaks out into a huge smile—one he returns as his shoulders sag in relief. As we both admire the sky some more, I feel his hand slowly rub against mine. I follow his lead, and our fingers lace together.

  “I really like you, Savi, and not just as my best friend.”

  The butterflies that come alive in my stomach may very well carry me away. “I really like you, too, Gray.”

  His eyes study my face, almost as if he’s looking for any sign that I may be messing with him, but he isn’t going to find one. When his gaze lingers a little too long on my lips, I start to get nervous. Oh my God, is he going to kiss me?

  A million things run through my head as he starts to lean in. Did I brush my teeth this morning? Am I going to mess this up? Will he not like me anymore if I’m bad at this? However, when it all comes down to it, this is Gray—my Gray.

  I lean in to meet him some of the distance. Our noses touch first, and my eyes flutter closed. I can feel his breath on my face, warm but stutteringly nervous. Then, our lips brush together. It’s slow, and sweet, and everything dreams are made of. When he breaks the kiss and backs away, I can feel my cheeks heat. I rest my head on his shoulder as I replay it in my mind.

  Our friendship may never be the same, but I’ve never been more excited for the future.

  I WAKE IN THE morning on my bedroom floor, sporting a killer headache. The huge bump on my head reminds me of last night’s events. Fucking hell. He must have dragged me in here after he knocked me out and just left me on the floor. I get up slowly then go into the bathroom to find some Tylenol. After swallowing the two pills down, I turn on the shower. I don’t necessarily feel like going to school, but the alternative of staying here all day is my only other option. Needless to say, school is the lesser of the two evils.

  FIRST PERIOD, I MAKE it a point to sit next to Delaney. I may have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but it feels so good to have my friend again. Brady is great, but Laney was the closest friendship I had, other than Grayson—and it doesn’t look like I’m ever getting that one back.

  “No, stop,” I laugh, pushing her hand away so I can continue applying the highlight to her face.

  She huffs, but stays completely still. “I’m going to look like a clown.”

  “You know, your confidence in me is rather insulting.”

  A small chuckle bubbles out. “You’ll get over it.”

  “Well, don’t you two look cute,” Grayson drawls, coming to stand in front of the desks we’ve pushed together.

  Delaney tries to look at him, but I grab her chin and turn her back toward me. “What do you want, Grayson? We’re busy.”

  “Ouch.” He places a hand over his heart and feigns injury. “I can’t come say hi to my two favorite girls?” I start to think he’s gone mad when he corrects himself. “Well, one of my favorite girls, and you.”

  Switching out the highlight for bronzer, I shake my head. “No, I’d really rather you don’t.”

  He leans over my desk and gets as close to me as he can. “That’s not what you were saying on your birthday.”

  “What happened on your birthday?” Delaney shrieks.

  “Shh!” I tel
l her and then turn to Grayson. “You know, for someone who wants to keep that quiet, you sure have a big mouth.”

  His eyes glint with mischief as he smiles. It’s the same smile that used to make me weak in the knees, and like a fine wine, it’s only gotten better with age. He winks at me before going back to his desk and immediately focusing his attention on Kinsley. Jackass.

  Delaney follows my gaze. When she finds what I’m looking at, she frowns.

  “Okay, you really need to tell me what is going on with you two, including what he was just referring to.”

  WHEN I GET HOME from dance that evening, I’m so worn out I can barely move. My headache ended up coming back my third period, and then again as I tried to rehearse the duet with Brady. Between the sharp pain in my skull, and Delaney’s advice running through my mind on a loop, I couldn’t focus at all. Brady ended up calling it early and telling me to figure out my shit before it costs me my chances at Juilliard. I know he didn’t mean to be hurtful, but it stung.

  I sit on my bed and hold my phone in my hand, once again thinking about my conversation with Laney. After telling her everything that has happened with Grayson, not foregoing the massive detail of him taking my virginity, she seemed hesitant to give me her honest opinion. It took promising that I won’t stop talking to her again before she told me that I shouldn’t be allowing him to walk all over me—and she’s right.

  The more power Grayson has, the stronger he becomes. After some of the shit he’s done, he doesn’t deserve the time of day from me, let alone my body. No matter how much I may want him, I need to protect myself, and that means stopping this sick game before it’s really even started.

  My fingers move across the keys quickly, as if I’m ripping off the Band-Aid. Without giving myself a second to change my mind, I hit send and ignore the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.