Remember When...

by Scarlett Finn

  “Yes, last night,” Calvin said. “I told her that I believed she and Warren were spending too much time together… and then she went and slept in his bed.”

  She’d known that was a stupid move, what had she been thinking? “I wasn’t in it!” Shane exclaimed. “I wasn’t in the fucking bed. And I’ll say the same thing to you that I said to her upstairs, I’m the fucking husband, shouldn’t I have a problem with you?”

  “Ok, this is good,” Guinness said. “We need to get to the heart of these issues.”

  “She’s marrying me,” Calvin said as though the doctor hadn’t said a word.

  “She’s already married!” Shane exclaimed. “She can’t marry you!”

  “Until she divorces you,” Calvin said and looked at his mother.

  “And that’s not gonna happen,” Shane said.

  A bang upstairs made her stand and before she even heard the wail of Cam’s cry, she was halfway to the stairs. She knew her baby’s cries and that wasn’t a standard boo-boo cry.

  Throwing open the bedroom door, she gasped when she saw the nanny clutching a screaming Cameron who had blood all over the side of his head. Ginger had never known pure terror until this moment. Her whole body clenched in fear.

  “Shane!” she screamed until she didn’t have any air left. Grabbing a towel from the changing table, Ginger rushed over to grab her baby, pushing the towel to the wound.

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Warren! I’m sorry! He was on the bed and I turned around and—”

  Ginger didn’t have the time to think about the nanny right now. Hurrying back to the bedroom door, she met Shane there. Immediately, he pulled her under his arm. “Hospital,” he said and was already guiding her down the stairs and into his truck.

  They were on the road a blink later. Cradling her crying baby, kissing and soothing him, Ginger tried to see the extent of the wound. “It’s ok, baby,” she whispered into him, kissing his soft hair. “Momma’s here.”

  Tears rolled over her lashes in constant streams. When Shane glanced at her, they made eye contact. The worry she read in him made her inhale, but she bit her lip because she had to stay calm. If Cam saw her upset, he’d get upset too.

  “He’s ok,” Shane said, pulling her hand to his mouth to kiss it. “Just keep him awake, keep him talking.”

  “Boo,” she whispered, her heart sore with trepidation squeezing around it.

  Shane glanced at her again. “I promise you, baby, everything will be just fine.”

  But when she locked her fingers between his and pulled his hand against Cam’s back, she felt that he was shaking as much as she was. “You hear that, Angel,” she said into their baby. “You’re going to be just fine. We love you so much, we do.” Sitting back to look at his pale, tear-stained face, she smiled and kissed his nose. “Cammy, you’re a good boy… tell mommy you’re a good boy.”

  “Goo…” he said and she was so relieved to hear his voice because although it was still wavering, at least it was there.

  “That’s it,” she said. “And we’re going to get you cleaned up, then we’ll take you home and mommy will make you some strawberries, what do you think of that?”

  “Num…”

  “Yes,” she said and brushed the smudged blood from his temple, the wound wasn’t bleeding anymore, but the sight of that stain on her precious baby kept her heart pounding because there was just so much of it and a head wound was always serious. “And we’ll play with Rocky, you like Rocky, don’t you?”

  “Wooo.”

  “Yes,” she said and grinned as she kissed him again. “We’ll play with the doggy, do you think he likes strawberries?” Cam tried to cuddle against her, but she sat him back again and it broke her heart to see fresh tears welling in his eyes. “Mommy wants to see those beautiful eyes, who has the most beautiful eyes.”

  “Da!” Cam said and pointed at his father.

  She laughed a half-sob, but smiled and kept stroking and kissing him. “Daddy does have beautiful eyes,” she said and they shared a moment again. “But whose eyes are the most beautiful?”

  “Ca…” he said and touched his own chest.

  “That’s right,” she said, but her concern grew when her baby’s eyes got heavy. “Shane?”

  “Hey,” Shane said, trying to sound upbeat as he put on the radio. “Do you want to dance?”

  Cam perked up and she turned him around so he could press the buttons on the radio, changing stations and settings, but neither of them cared.

  It was probably less than twenty minutes as he’d said, but it felt like twenty hours before they pulled into the hospital. Shane didn’t bother with a space, he pulled right up next to the ambulance bay and put the car in park.

  “You’ll be towed,” she said when he pulled her and Cam out of the truck.

  “I’ll buy a new truck,” he said, urging her forward into the ER. Putting her against the wall by reception, he stroked a hand down her face and cupped Cam’s back. “Wait here a minute, baby, ok?”

  Shane went straight to a doctor. He didn’t even go to the desk or a nurse, he went to a doctor who was with a patient, took his arm and pulled him away with an arm over his shoulders. They exchanged some quiet words and then the doctor snapped his fingers and pulled three nurses away from what they were doing to come to her.

  “Cameron,” the doctor said, reaching for the baby, but she wouldn’t give him up.

  “He hit his head,” she said, without any desire to give him up especially when he was clinging to her tight.

  “Yes, he’ll be taken care of,” the doctor said. “Why don’t you bring him to this room along here?” Past all the curtains and waiting patients, they were taken into a private room. The doctor pulled back a curtain for the bed and gestured to it. “Do you want to sit down with him?”

  The doctor put Cam through a battery of tests. He was optimistic and friendly the whole time and accommodated her odd, clingy behavior. They gave Cam cat scans, x-rays, and an MRI. Then she gave him a feed when they were all done, something she’d been trying to wean him from. Just as she tucked her breast away, Shane opened the curtain.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, but she smiled.

  “It’s ok, I’m done,” she said, and moved off the bed to lie Cam down. “They said it was ok to let him sleep.”

  He had a bandage around his head and looked like quite the wounded soldier, but Shane had been the one to get the final results. “They’re going to keep him in for observation overnight.”

  She stopped dead, her eyes wide as a fresh wave of panic consumed her. “Why? Oh my god, what’s wrong with him?”

  Shane smiled and came over to stroke her arm. “Nothing, baby, I promise, he’s fine. They said head wounds always bleed like a motherfucker.” She scowled and he shrugged. “My word, I’ll admit… But there is no internal bleeding or swelling. No fracture.”

  “So why are they keeping him in?” she asked.

  “Because I can be a motherfucker too,” he said. “Sorry… I asked them to keep him in. He’ll get the full service treatment, I promise, and we can stay with him. He’ll get his own room upstairs, he’ll have a TV and toys, everything he wants.”

  Her heart rate began to even out though the adrenaline was still sticky and bitter in her mouth. “But he’s healthy? You’re not trying to protect me? Because I would rather know if—”

  “He’s fine,” he said, brushing her jaw with the back of his finger.

  She exhaled. “Next thing is the cost,” she said. “Calvin has all of the insurance details—”

  “It’s taken care of,” he said.

  She hadn’t expected him to say that. “You paid for his treatment? But… that must be a fortune, they gave him every test under the sun.”

  “So we know he’s healthy. All worth it.”

  Turning around, Ginger watched her angel sleeping and her shaking hand went to her mouth. “If anything had happened to him, Shane…” she whispered.

  “Nothing did,” he
said. “Just an accident.”

  She turned back to him. “Just an accident took me from you for sixteen months.”

  His smile faltered and he narrowed his eyes. “That won’t happen again, you have my word.”

  “I was so worried,” she said and her voice broke.

  “Hey, it’s ok,” he said.

  But he couldn’t console her with words. Now that Cam was sleeping, she could let herself go, and the tears escaped her eyes. Her baby had been in need, she could’ve lost him, anything could’ve happened, and he was the only sure thing in her life.

  Leaning forward, she rested on Shane and he wrapped her in his arms. “Shh, baby, I got you. You don’t have anything to worry about. I got you.”

  Tipping her head back, she saw something more in him than she’d noticed about the man in the bathtub she’d desired. “You were there, Shane. When I saw the blood, I called for you and… you were there.”

  He smiled. “Where else would I be?” A kind of concern swept his expression when she slid a hand up between them to cup his face. Rubbing her thumb on his stubble, she wondered again what he’d taste like, but it wasn’t blind desire that made her think about it, it was appreciation and… something else. “I’m yours, Bit. Always. But once we cross the line, you can’t ever go back,” he murmured and appeared more dubious than she’d thought he would.

  “I know,” she whispered.

  But before she could make a decision on whether she was going to cross it or not, the door opened and Calvin came in with Diane and the others. “How is he?” Owen was the first to ask and he rushed over to the bed.

  “A wounded soldier,” she said, leaving Shane’s arms to join her brother. “He’s sleeping. We shouldn’t disturb him.”

  “What a trooper,” Owen said, touching the bandage. “He takes a hit and still doesn’t miss naptime.”

  She laughed and went into her brother’s arms this time, Shane ushered everyone else out as her brother comforted her. Having Shane around to keep control was invaluable and she’d never be able to repay what he’d done for her and Cam today.

  Owen stayed at her side every minute. He was still with her much later in the night as she stood over her son’s crib in his private hospital room. The room had a cot and a couch in addition to Cam’s crib. Shane had gone to try and find another cot, leaving her alone with Owen who was sitting on the couch flicking through kids shows on the TV. It was programmed to only allow kids shows and there seemed to be Disney movies playing on repeat on different channels too.

  Everyone else had gone back to the lodge. Murphy was taking care of Rocky and she imagined that it wasn’t fun being the only Warren in that house right now.

  “You’re a good mom, you know,” Owen said absently as he channel surfed.

  She stopped fixing Cam’s blankets to look at her brother. “What?”

  “Today, the way you jumped into action. You called Shane and boom, you two were out the door. Gone, spraying up gravel, blasting out of there like Bonnie and Clyde with a score fleeing in a hail of bullets.”

  Her brother did see things in a strange way. Content that Cam was safe, Ginger went over to sit on the couch with him as he paused on something Disney, Beauty and the Beast. “I like this one,” she said, putting a hand over his on the remote to stop him.

  Their hands and the remote sank to his knee. They watched the muted TV for a minute. “He loves you, you do know that, don’t you?” Owen said.

  Her focus fell from the TV. Were they going to talk about this? Really? Here, like this? Owen wasn’t going to be polite and ignore their situation beyond this room, and she wasn’t going to play it dumb. “Shane?” she asked.

  “Yes, Shane. I’m not going to be here arguing for the other one, am I?” he said.

  Twisting toward him, she put an elbow on the back of the couch. “I’m in the most impossible position,” she said, because odd as it was, it felt natural to confide in him.

  “Why?” he asked. “You love someone or you don’t.” Sealing her lips, she thought for a second and he seemed to sense her hesitation. “I’m a lawyer, you know attorney-client privilege?” She nodded. “You and I are the fucking Hoover Dam with each other’s secrets. Everyone used to joke we had brother-sister privilege that was more sacred to me than attorney-client… Anything you say to me is in confidence.”

  “I do love Calvin, and I was so sure about marrying him. He was my whole world, all I knew.”

  “Because you had amnesia. You don’t even have a job, do you? You don’t have friends. You have no social life. He didn’t let you find your old life or experience a new one.” She wasn’t happy with that answer and he seemed to sense that fast. “I’m playing Devil’s Advocate… if you want to be with Calvin, I’ll still be your brother, won’t I? So really, I have no vested interest in whether you choose Calvin or Shane… or no one. You know that’s an option too, right?”

  “No one,” she muttered. “Go out on my own?”

  But he was amused. “You wouldn’t be on your own, you’d have me. And you’d have Cam… You know you used to have a great life. Even before Shane, you had friends, you had a job. You don’t need a man.” He cast his eyes upward. “Sheesh, listen to me.”

  She laughed and took his hand over the remote again. “I don’t know what I want, but I feel like… I feel like everyone expects something and I don’t know what it is.”

  “We just want you to be happy,” Owen said. “You’re really holding court. I mean, you’ve got two gorgeous guys by the balls, hanging on your every word. You’ve got the mother waiting for you to pick her son. Murphy ready to take bets on when you’ll be back with Shane and…”

  “You,” she said. “What is it you want from me?”

  “I want you to be happy,” he said again, drawing a line around her wrist with a fingertip.

  “Owen,” she said, ducking to make eye contact. “What do you want from me?”

  He exhaled. “I don’t want to put more pressure on you.”

  “Please just tell me, I’ll hate to wonder.”

  “Mom,” he said. “I’d love it if she could meet Cam.”

  “Really?” she asked and it was obvious he didn’t understand how much that meant to her. “I would love for them to meet.”

  “You would?” He grinned and grabbed her into a hug. When he pulled back, she got her turn to wipe tears from his cheeks.

  “You’re a lawyer, right?” she asked. He nodded. “You’ll have to help me, I don’t know the rules about siblings and the law.”

  He got serious. “I can help you. You need help with the law?”

  “I don’t have a passport, I can’t travel without one and I… I don’t even know the rules with my name being… I don’t know.”

  But he patted her hand. “Shane has your passport. The original… you were supposed to take it on the boat, but he left it in the car by mistake along with his. So you have all the documents you’ll need to travel.”

  “Good then… Cameron will need one.”

  Owen’s business face returned. “Well we’ll have to talk about that. Do you have his birth certificate?” She nodded. “I can arrange it.”

  “How soon do we have to go?”

  “Not before Cam’s better.” Well obviously not before then, she wouldn’t be persuaded otherwise. “And it would work for me if we waited a while, Shane has a business thing I’ve been pestering him about. If you suddenly declare you’re going home to see mom, he’ll think I persuaded you to go home to get him to go back.”

  Ginger could see why she’d been so close to her brother. Joking, like she was serious, she found it easy to relax with him. “Gosh, is Shane Mr. Ego or what?” she asked and he tutted.

  “Yeah, exactly, right?”

  They laughed and she steeled herself to ask what she’d been considering since Cam got the all clear. “How quickly can a name be changed?”

  “Overnight,” he said.

  “And a passport? How long does that take?
”

  “Whose name are we talking about?” he asked and she glanced toward the crib. “At Cam’s age, with the consent of both parents, in a day.”

  She nodded and took both his hands. “Then there’s something we have to do… as a kind of thank you for today.”

  “Ok,” he said, tipping his head and peering at her. “What?”

  She grinned. “I think I like having a lawyer brother.”

  “You always did,” he said and pulled her into another hug.

  Cam was returning to his old self. It was as if nothing had happened, except for the bandage covering the wound. At least they had taken off the one that was wrapped around his head and replaced it with sticky gauze that they’d be able to change after each bath. One tiny dissolvable stitch just behind his ear, already he was scarred for life.

  Ginger watched her baby sleep and turned on the monitor. Part of her wanted to stay right here, forever. Doctor Guinness had been the one to tell her it was best to get back to normal as quickly as possible and not to let her anxieties about Cam’s wellbeing become paranoias that would weigh her down.

  It was naptime, and she was going to leave him alone for the first time since he’d hurt himself.

  Going down the stairs, she found Calvin and his mother in the living room. Guinness was reading in the corner. The trio of men she was seeking were on the back porch beyond the kitchen.

  Bringing the monitor to her ear, she listened for Cam’s breathing one more time. When she was satisfied that he was ok, she headed for the porch, grabbing her jacket on the way past. The three men were laughing before she went out, but silenced when she opened the screen.

  “More music?” Murphy asked.

  She smiled. “No, he’s sleeping.” Holding the monitor out to Shane, she waited for him to accept it. But instead of letting go of the device, Ginger pulled their joined hands to her chest. “Can I take Rocky for a walk?”

  “Knock yourself out, gorgeous,” Shane said and whistled. Rocky bounded up the stairs. “Go keep momma safe.” Rocky barked in response and ran back down the stairs.