Saving Her

by Noelle, Alexis

  I am going to make love to him.

  I push his shoulders back so he falls down onto the bed. Slowly as he watches I undress, then do the same for him taking my time and building the anticipation. When both of us have nothing left, I climb on top of him. As I look into his eyes I can still see hesitation. I lower my face to his. “You are worth every effort I am giving. You are good. You are capable of loving and being loved.” I kiss him and at the same time lift myself up and let him fill me. I moan at the feeling of being full of him. Slowly I move up and down his shaft. I lean up a little and begin to kiss each mark on his chest showing him they don’t scare me, and they don’t repulse me. This is to show him that even in the light I want him.

  Chapter Eleven

  I open my eyes and for a minute panic at my strange locations. That’s when I remember my bold actions from the night before. I’m at Mason’s. In his bed. I look around but he is nowhere to be seen. When I check the time I see that it is eight in the morning.

  I grab my clothes and throw them on before I walk out into the living room in search for him. I find Jake sitting at the kitchen counter eating a bowl of cereal. I blush at the fact that he has caught me, I didn’t think he would still be here. This is so awkward I kind of just want to slink back into Mason’s room.

  “Hey, want some?” He holds up the box and I smile. “Only way you can have em’ is if you don’t give me shit about it.”

  “No shit giving here. I love Lucky Charms. I save all the marshmallows for last because they are the best part.” Jake laughs at me. “What?”

  He tips his bowl toward me and all that there is left are marshmallows. “Your boy, always gives me shit for it but it’s my favorite cereal.” I get uneasy as he refers to Mason as ‘my boy’. I wouldn’t mind that title but I think if he heard it there would be a Mason sized hole in the door. “Just so you know I was fully ready to take you home last night. I waited up for a little bit too. He has never, and I mean never, had a chick here much less one spend the night. I swear every time someone in our group gets involved with a chick she must have a magical pussy, because it completely changes them. I mean first Brian, then Hunter who is the last one I ever expected to settle down. It’s like some damn voodoo.”

  I can’t help but giggle at his statement. Jake has always been one of my favorites ever since the first day I met the guys. He was the only one who came up to me and tried to talk to me one-on-one. “Trust me when I say Mason has not fallen under any voodoo spell. Before tonight I barely saw him for more than an hour at a time.”

  “Hey that’s an hour longer than any other chick, so consider yourself to have a magical pussy too.” He catches me mid bite and I laugh causing milk to go up into my nose. I am basically choking as Jake is cracking up and the door opens, revealing a very sweaty Mason.

  My heart stops for a second as I look at him. I swear the man does not have the ability to look bad, ever. When I get done working out I look like a mix of cousin it, and a before picture on a trashy makeover TV show. Him? He looks damn right edible.

  “Well, I’m gonna head out. Mase, Brian said he needs us at the house by ten.” He nods at Jake while his eyes remain fixed on me. When the door closes the silence in the room is defeaning and the sexual tension is bursting.

  I am stuck. Feeling completely unsure of what my next move should be. Do I go over to him? Do I just sit here and pretend like I don’t want to jump his bones, and then cuddle the shit out of him? Mason walks over to the cabinet and grabs a bowl before filling it with cereal and milk.

  “You eat Lucky Charms too? Jake said you always give him shit about eating it.” I look at him in confusion.

  “I have to give him shit about something but when he isn’t here I eat it.” I swear every time he answers a question it sparks five more inside of me.

  “Why do you have to give him shit?”

  He looks over at me. “Because I give everyone shit. It’s like my thing.”

  “Why?”

  His spoon drops loudly onto his bowl. “Is that like your word of the day? Because I do. I thought we covered this the first day you met me. I’m an asshole.”

  I can’t really tell whether he is kidding or not and I decide to just let the subject go. “So what did you do this morning?”

  “I went for a run. I do every morning.” He is always so matter of fact.

  “Oh, I didn’t hear you get up.”

  “That’s cause I’m a ninja.” My head snaps up from its focus on my bowl. My eyes grow wide at the realization that Mason Brooks just made a joke. I laugh and shake my head at the fact that I just witnessed a miracle.

  “You know you should try this more often.” His head tilts as he looks at me in confusion. “Not scowling and being a complete jerk. People might actually like you.”

  He stands up bringing his bowl to the sink and rising it out. He turns, walking my way, and is standing behind me before I know it. His stubble scratches the skin between my shoulder and my neck. “I don’t care if people like me.” His teeth slowly drag over my earlobe before he walks away and goes into the bathroom shutting the door behind him.

  I swear he changes personalities so quick my head spins.

  Today I saw a glimpse of a real person though. There was no safety wall. No facade that he is putting up, just him. It was brief but it was there. There just may be hope for him yet. I walk into his bedroom and get dressed trying to make myself look presentable enough to go out in public.

  When he comes out of the bathroom he is dressed is a loose t-shirt that has a few paint stains and an old pair of sweatpants. “I have a job with Brian today so I can’t stay much longer.” I nod my head realizing that’s my hint that I need to get going. I reach for my keys and purse when his hand grabs mine and I freeze. “What would you say to doing something tomorrow?”

  “Did you just ask me out on a date?” I smile. My chest feels like it is about to burst. Did I finally break through his steel cage?

  “No, I asked you if you wanted to hang out. Basically like we do every night, but in public.” He shakes his head. “Women always read into shit.” He walks toward the front door. “Text me and let me know your answer, angel.” He gives me a rare smile before leaving. He wants more than just sex, he may not be ready to call it what it is but he wants more.

  I don’t care what he says.

  I want to squeal and jump up and down like a teenage girl.

  Mason just asked me out on a date.

  Chapter Twelve

  Why won’t you let anyone in?

  Because there's nothing inside of me for them to see. I’m hollow.

  I’m going out with Mason today . He wouldn’t tell me where, all he said was to have a bathing suit. As soon as he sent that text yesterday I went to the sore a bought a cute pink one piece. My stomach is a little too noticeable in a bikini and the roucheing on this one hides it well.

  I can tell that day by day I am getting through to him. He is letting me in as much as he is fighting it. I can tell a huge reason for that is whatever happened to him as a kid. He sees himself as not worthy of anything, or anyone. He treats everyone he meets like a jerk because he would rather push people away than be rejected.

  I am going to use today as an opportunity to show him that I care. I’m here for him and I’m not scared of the things in his past. I want to use today to focus on his present and not on his past so I’m not going to ask him about it. Whatever happened to him haunts him and I just want to keep his focus on how great things can be now.

  There is a knock at the door and I smile knowing who it is. When I open it though my smile disappears, Scott. “What are you doing here?”

  He looks me up and down. “The grandma look really suits you. I guess when you act like a slut and get knocked up you have to ditch the bikini huh?”

  God, I hate him. “Why are you here?”

  “I guess I just wanted to confirm my suspicions from the office the other day. How did you find some poor sap wanting
to have a baby with you? I sure as hell never did.” Even though we aren’t together and I despise him that hurts. I loved him so much and for years I dreamed of having a baby with him. That’s why it had crushed me so much when I found out he already had kids with her.

  “You need to leave.” I stand next to the open door hoping I can get him out of here before Mason shows up.

  “And what if I don’t want to?” He grins then moves closer to me completely invading my space. I’m about to push him away when a voice booms next to me making me jump.

  “Then I’ll fucking make you.” Scott is thrown against the wall and I see Mason holding him by his shirt. His free hand smacks Scott across the face like the little bitch he is. “You have less than a minute to get your ass out of here without another word before you aren’t able to talk anymore.” He lets go of his shirt while simultaneously slamming him into the wall. Mason’s chest is puffed out, his breathing rapid, and it is very obvious that he is willing and ready to completely demolish Scott

  Scott runs away faster than a rat that got caught stealing cheese.

  When he turns to me I can see the anger in his eyes. If I was Scott I probably would have pissed myself. Mason towers over him not only in height but in size also. His chest is heaving up and down and he looks almost murderous.

  I touch his arm in an attempt to calm him down. “Thanks for that.”

  His breathing slows. “Who was that?”

  Ugh, I so don’t want to do this. “It was my ex-husband. He basically came here to rub his life in my face.”

  Mason grabs my hand and leads me out the door to his truck. I climb in and he pulls away wordlessly. The entire drive is silent except for the low tone of the radio. I am a little nervous that he hasn’t mentioned what happened at my place. What does he think about all of it? We pull into a parking lot and I still have no idea where we are. I walk around the car to meet him and he grasps my hand once more.

  We walk down a hill and I can see a huge lake in front of us. He leads us down to a dock and over to one of the smaller motorboats. He climbs in and then extends his hand out to me I take it and climb in. Unfortunately since I have absolutely no coordination I trip over the peg where the rope is tied to and go flying. Mason catches me and holds me securely against his chest.

  I regain my composure and stand up. “Is this your boat?”

  “Nope, we’re gonna steal it.” My eyes grow wide. “I’m kidding.”

  I shake my head. “This whole you making jokes thing is going to take some getting used to.” I see a huge tube sitting on the back of the boat connected by a rope. Shit, tubing. Can I go tubing? I pull out my phone as he is untying the boat and google it. All of the sites I pull up say that it is okay in the early stages and in calm water. I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “You ready?” He turns to me and has a smile on his face. I nod loving how relaxed and at ease he seems. For me, I think it’s because him letting me see him like this is a sign that he is starting to trust me. While this is amazing it makes me nervous because I am keeping a huge secret from him. If he does give me all of his trust will I lose it once I tell him about the baby?

  I take a seat next to him as he starts the engine and slowly pulls away from the dock. Once we pass the sign that says ‘no wake zone’ he speeds up. The boat is bouncing up and down from the small waves in the lake. This is so much fun. I’m laughing and when I turn to Mason he is still smiling. This may be a record for him.

  He turns the engine off before standing and taking my hand. We walk the few steps to the back of the boat. “You want to get in this bad boy?”

  “Are you talking about you or the tube because honestly I’d say yes to either.” That sounded so much sexier in my head.

  His mouth dips down close to my ear and my entire body goes on high alert. “For right now I mean the tube.”

  My hands grasp his arms as they wrap around my waist. “I’m ready.” Those words have so much more meaning and I can see in his eyes he knows it too. This is me reminding him that I’m here for him, in every way that he’ll have me.

  He pulls away first grabbing my hand and helping me step on the back bench of the boat. “Just fall back into the tube. When you are ready for me to go give me a thumbs up.” He goes over a few different hand signals before letting my hand go.

  I fall back into the tube and shimmy myself into position. Mason kicks the tube away from the boat and my excitement builds. I give him the thumbs up and the boat starts to move. It starts out slow before he begins to pick up speed. The lake water is spraying in my face and the tube is bouncing up and down. This is so much fun! I am laughing, but at the same time holding onto the handles for dear life. I can see him looking back at me every once and a while. The tube starts to tip to the side, I lean to the other side trying to even myself out. Luckily I keep myself from flipping out of it. The boat slows and Mason pulls me in before extending his hand to help me back onto the boat.

  “So what did you think?” his hands are resting on my hips and all I can think of is him right now.

  “It was so much fun. I loved it.” I give him a hug and I can tell by his frozen state it takes him off guard. His hands slowly enclose me and we stand there for a minute before the boat start to rock from other waves throwing us off balance.

  “You want to switch places? Drive the boat and pull me?”

  “I’ve never driven a boat. You’d have to teach me but yeah, I’d love to.” He leads me to the controls explaining what to push and how to turn it on and off. He climbs into the tube and pushes himself away from the boat giving me a thumbs up.

  I turn the engine on and pull away slowly like he did before speeding up. The boat is much harder to steer and maneuver then any car I’ve ever driven. I am taking turns and having so much fun that I realize I haven’t looked back at Mason in a couple minutes. I glance back to see him giving me the stop signal before he hits a huge wave and flies out of the tube. Holy shit.

  I circle back around cutting the engine as I get close to him. I can’t stop laughing though. He climbs into the boat soaking wet and the look on his face only makes me laugh harder.

  “This is funny?” He is standing next to me and I look up to see water still streaming down off his face. He bends down and picks me up, walking to the edge of the boat.

  “Don’t you dare! I am warning you that if you—“ He jumps off still holding me in his arms. The cool lake water surrounds me as I flail and kick my way to the surface. “I can’t believe you just did that!”

  This time it’s him laughing. I splash him in the face and he stops looking at me with his eyebrow arced. “Oh, you want to play that game.”

  Crap.

  It’s all I can think before a tidal wave is heading for my face.

  Chapter Thirteen

  What’s your favorite thing to do?

  You.

  Mason climbs back onto the boat and basically has to lift me onto it after three failed attempts on my part. “You hungry?”

  “I’m starving.” He lifts up one of the seats and reveals a cooler. I grab a sandwich from him. “You did all of this?”

  “Nope Santa let me borrow his elves and they set all this up.”

  Ass. “I just mean you surprised me.” I can tell he is uncomfortable by the way he won’t really meet my eyes. “So when did you get a boat?”

  “I bought it after we got out of the army. I come here a few times a week, it’s relaxing.”

  “Have any of the guys ever come with you?”

  “No. None of them know about this place. I guess it’s always just kind of been my place to go and be alone.” He looks around still trying to avoid eye contact.

  “So why did you bring me here?”

  His hand scrubs up and down his face. “Because as much as I hate it, you have been getting to me. You make me want to be better. I’m bad for you, but I’m not good for anyone else. You don’t understand how much the idea of you scares me, Lacey. You have this amazing light in y
ou, and I don’t want my demons to dim that.”

  I don’t know what to say to him, so I don’t say anything. I stand up and walk over to him, then sit on his lap. “I swear you have this way of saying all the wrong things in just the right way.” I kiss him needing him to know that he isn’t going to scare me off. I’m in this way deeper than even he knows. I would love to tell him about the baby, but I don’t think he is anywhere near ready for that.

  We spend the rest of the day swimming in the lake and going tubing a few more times, much to his disappointment he is never able to make me flip off. As we are pulling into the dock and the sun is setting all I can think is how amazing this whole day has been. Mason helps me off the boat and we walk hand-in-hand to his car. The drive is once again silent but this time instead of being in the passenger seat I scoot my way over on the bench and sit next to him. When we reach my apartment he walks me to my door.

  His hand grazes my face. Our mouths connect and I open for him, inviting him. Not only to my body but to my heart and soul as well. My hand reaches in my bag for my keys. I break contact long enough to open the door. Mason stops in the doorway not following me inside.

  “You coming in? I’m not really down for giving the neighbors a show.”

  His hands cup my face. He gives me another kiss before pulling away only an inch. “Today was…different. Goodnight, angel.” He releases me and walks away leaving me dumbfounded and completely shocked. What did he mean by different? I mean there’s good different and bad different. I don’t understand why he left. This feeling isn’t anything new though because I hardly ever understand him. I shut the door my libido fully unsatisfied.

  I decide to try and take a shower in an effort to clear my head. Today he let me see him. Not the mask he wears for everyone, not the person who uses insults as a defense. I saw him, and he was beautiful. I get dressed in a tank top and shorts and am standing in front of my full length mirror. My bump is so little, but it’s there. My baby.