As You Wish

by Chelsea Sedoti

  “Are you OK?”

  “Never been better,” I say.

  That’s what I can’t understand. No one asks me how I broke into the cave or what happened once I was inside. They want to know if I actually had my wish taken away.

  “Eldon, how are you coping? Do you need anything? Do you want to talk?” Penelope asks.

  “You’re an idiot,” Archie says.

  “You have to admit, you kind of deserved it,” Juniper tells me.

  “Consider yourself lucky,” Fletcher says in first period. He still looks like he crawled out of a grave, but his eyes aren’t quite as haunted as they had been. I remember what Norie said, how she thought he was doing better. I think she’s right.

  “How are you?” I ask Fletcher.

  He looks at me cautiously. “Do you really care?”

  “Yeah, actually. I do.”

  “I’m OK,” he says. His lips twitch into the first smile I’ve seen on his face for ages. “OK for a corpse.”

  I snort.

  Fletcher flips through some papers on his desk. “So you want to do this project or what?”

  “I thought you didn’t care about grades anymore.”

  “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

  “I don’t even remember what we’re supposed to be doing.”

  “Creating art that’s representative of how we changed since we started high school,” he explains.

  “Sounds depressing.”

  Fletcher laughs.

  “Wanna take some pictures tonight?” I ask.

  “Of what, exactly?”

  “I don’t know. Stuff around town. We’ll think up meaning for them afterward.”

  Fletcher looks skeptical.

  “Dude,” I say. “I’ll teach you how to half-ass assignments. High school could have been so much easier for you.”

  • • •

  Getting called down to Mr. Wakefield’s office isn’t a big shock.

  “Mr. Wilkes,” he says, gesturing for me to sit. “I thought you might be in need of some conversation.”

  “I’m doing all right.”

  I sit anyway.

  “On the surface, yes. But the loss of your wish must feel like a tragic blow.”

  “Actually, I feel kind of free.”

  Mr. Wakefield considers this for a moment. “Did you intentionally sabotage your wish so you wouldn’t have to go through with it?”

  I shrug. “Perhaps.”

  “Sometimes, Mr. Wilkes, our fears get the better of us. Sometimes, inaction seems like the only path. But in the end, how can you feel peace when you’ve relinquished your power to choose?”

  “It feels pretty OK to me.”

  He looks at me sympathetically, which I don’t like.

  “Mr. Wilkes…Eldon. You’re on the path to becoming an adult now. And part of that is accepting responsibility.”

  I’m silent.

  “Running from what you’re afraid of only causes more harm in the long run.”

  “I guess I consider knowing when to run and when to fight part of being an adult.”

  “Hmm. Yes. That’s valid.”

  I can see he doesn’t mean it though.

  The weirdest sensation comes over me. Regret. I’m upset I disappointed him.

  For all his strangeness, Mr. Wakefield isn’t a bad guy. I don’t like him thinking that I took the easy way out. I don’t want him to see me as a coward.

  • • •

  Merrill can’t believe I’m spending the afternoon with Fletcher Hale. He asks about fifty times if I want him to come with me.

  “We don’t need a chaperone, Merrill.”

  “You’re the boss,” he says, holding up his hands.

  I meet Fletcher at the gas station. We both walked here.

  “I don’t drive anymore,” Fletcher says.

  We wander through town, through the crappy park, past the bars. We take pictures of buildings and street signs. Whatever.

  “It’s art class. We can say it means whatever we want it to,” I tell him.

  “That feels like cheating.”

  “It’s being creative.”

  It’s a nice evening. Nice for Madison anyway. It’s hot but not hellish, and the wind is more of a breeze. Lots of people are outside, and I know they’re watching us. Fletcher and I aren’t usually seen together. Well, not unless I’m putting my fist in his face.

  Which reminds me.

  “Hey, sorry about that time I kicked your ass,” I say.

  Fletcher looks at me suspiciously.

  “No, seriously. I mean…I think I had a right to be pissed. But I should have handled it better.”

  “You don’t need to apologize to me,” he says. “For anything.”

  Madison isn’t that big of a place. We eventually end up on the corner we’ve both been trying to avoid. There’s a wooden post stuck in the dirt, with a flowered wreath hanging on it. I didn’t put it there. I don’t know who did. One of Ebba’s friends, probably. She had a ton of them.

  “In other places, they do roadside crosses,” Fletcher says. “I guess that wouldn’t make sense here.”

  After a moment, I say, “I never hated you because you hit her, you know. I hated that you didn’t wish her back.”

  “You should hate me for all of it.”

  We look at the post in the ground instead of each other.

  “Tell me what happened that day.”

  “Exactly what you think. I was late. I was always late to everything then. I thought I might miss my wish, and I was speeding and not paying attention.”

  “She shouldn’t have been crossing. People said the ‘don’t walk’ sign was up.”

  “I still should have been watching.”

  “Then what?”

  “I got out of the car to see if she was OK. I was so freaked out. My wish was the last thing on my mind. But suddenly, the mayor was there, telling me to get to the wish cave. The sheriff showed up, and he and Fontaine got in a fight. Crawford kept saying I had to stay, answer questions, and fill out paperwork. Maybe he wanted to arrest me, I don’t know.

  “The whole time, I kept trying to get to Ebba. They held me back, told me not to touch her, I could accidently hurt her more. The sheriff said an ambulance was coming and Ebba was being taken care of. Next thing I knew, Fontaine was driving me to the wish cave.”

  “And you made your wish.”

  “I was so screwed up, Eldon. I wasn’t thinking. I wished like I’d planned, and it didn’t occur to me until the next morning that I could’ve wished to save her.”

  Fletcher has tears on his face. I do everything I can to keep from crying too. The town would have a field day with gossip if they saw me and Fletcher standing here sobbing together.

  After a little while, I say, “The accident was my fault too. And Ebba’s. We were all at fault.”

  I start walking again, and Fletcher falls into step next to me.

  “Want to know what sucks?” he asks. “My wish turned out to be pointless.”

  “Why?”

  “I couldn’t wish my way into Harvard. So I asked for a perfect transcript. The thing is, I’d already spent years working hard. I got great grades, joined clubs, did community service. After my wish, when I looked through my paperwork, hardly anything changed. I’d already done it on my own.”

  “Wishing made it a sure thing though.”

  “But who wants a sure thing? Life is about gambles. What’s the point of all my effort if, in the end, I cheated my way into school? How could I ever feel like it was really my accomplishment?”

  More evidence that wishing never does any good for anyone.

  I should feel lucky to not have a wish anymore. But something nags at me. Fletcher is right; I agree with everything he sa
id. But there’s a voice in the back of my mind whispering that maybe throwing away my wish isn’t the right path either.

  We take a few more pictures. We work out how the presentation will go and what we’ll tell Ms. Dove the pictures mean. I took a photo of the post with the wreath of flowers and figure we’ll get a passing grade for that alone. The two of us together, overcoming adversity and blah, blah, blah.

  “What are you going to do now? After graduation, I mean?” I ask.

  “I haven’t decided. There’s still Harvard. But I’m such a mess now.”

  “Tell them you were in a bad car accident and defer for a year. It’s not untrue.”

  “I don’t deserve Harvard.”

  I stop and turn to Fletcher. “Listen, dude. You may not be happy about Penelope’s wish, but it’s done. Whether you like it or not, you’re getting a second chance. Don’t waste it. Ebba wouldn’t want that.”

  She wouldn’t. I know that for sure. My sister was the most forgiving person on the planet.

  “What are you going to do after graduation?” Fletcher asks.

  I pause.

  I have no freaking clue. I’ve spent so much time thinking about my wish that I hardly considered what will come after.

  “I don’t actually know.”

  “Yeah, well, you shouldn’t let yourself get stuck in Madison either. This place destroys lives.”

  Maybe it isn’t the place though.

  Maybe we destroy our own lives.

  • • •

  That night, after my parents fall asleep, I go into Ebba’s room.

  It isn’t a conscious decision. I’m on my way back from the bathroom, and instead of opening my door, I open hers.

  Nothing’s changed since the accident. The walls are covered in posters and pictures. Her hot-pink comforter is balled up in the center of her bed. Her dresser is lined with glitter nail polish and lip gloss and plastic bracelets and all kinds of other crap I used to tease her about.

  I lie down on her bed and stare at the ceiling.

  What would Ebba think about all that’s been going on? She’d have an opinion, that’s for sure. She’d probably have plenty of snarky stuff to say about my little escapade in the wish cave.

  I would give anything to hear her laugh again. To have one more conversation with her. There are so many things we never talked about. I thought we had forever.

  If Ebba were here, life would be easier.

  If she’d made it to her wish day, she would’ve had the perfect wish. She’d wish the world into being a better place. Ebba wouldn’t get it wrong.

  That’s when it happens.

  My mind clears, and the puzzle pieces click into place.

  That nagging feeling I had when talking to Fletcher becomes a concrete idea. An idea that’s, quite possibly, been waiting dormant in my mind for months.

  After everything that’s happened, I finally have the perfect wish.

  Chapter 32

  Wish Day

  I ask Merrill and Norie to meet me at the skeleton house an hour before school. Merrill shows up looking like he just rolled out of bed.

  “Please tell me you have a good reason for waking me up at this godforsaken time,” he says. “And happy birthday, by the way.”

  There is no time to waste, so I jump right in. “This is probably going to sound ridiculous…”

  They look at me expectantly.

  “I want to make my wish after all.”

  Sure enough, Merrill and Norie stare at me like I’ve grown a second head.

  “Well,” says Merrill, “this is an unexpected turn of events.”

  “Isn’t it too late for you to make your wish?” Norie asks gently.

  “Hey, you’re supposed to be the one who has faith,” I say. “It’s never too late for anything.”

  “Eldon, you’re banned from wishing.”

  “Yes, Norie, that’s a great point. But the mayor banned me. Not the wish cave.”

  Neither of them look sleepy anymore.

  “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Merrill asks.

  “What do you think I’m saying?”

  “That you want to go rogue and break into the wish cave and make an illegal wish.”

  I nod. “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

  Merrill and Norie look at each other. They look at me.

  “Well, shit,” Merrill says. “This is going to be the greatest coup in Madison history.”

  “So you’re in?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  “Let’s be practical for a second,” Norie says. “I’m good with you wishing. But how are you going to get into the cave? You can’t exactly waltz through bars.”

  “It’s like what happened after Silas Creed’s illegal wish,” Merrill says. “They reinstalled the bars, and they’re a million times stronger than before. Mayor Douchebag went all out from what I hear.”

  “That’s just it. I don’t think I need to use the entrance.”

  “Have you mastered teleportation?”

  “I think there was a cave-in,” I explain. “When we broke into the cave, I noticed a draft. Like, a big draft.”

  For the first time, I’m grateful Madison is in the middle of a constant windstorm.

  “No way,” says Norie. “Someone would have noticed.”

  “Not if it happened recently. Like, in the last earthquake. Who goes to that part of the mountain anyway? The only people who go in the cave are wishers, and they’re too distracted to notice something like that.”

  “I’m sure the mayor does some sort of regular maintenance,” Norie says.

  “Then we have to hope he hasn’t thought about that in the past few days.”

  I’m willing to bet he hasn’t. Not with the flack he’s been getting for “murdering” the legend trippers, plus the hubbub surrounding Penelope’s wish. If I’m lucky, Madison has been so chaotic lately that cave maintenance has been pushed down on Mayor Fontaine’s priority list.

  “This might actually work,” Norie says with awe.

  “There are a few details we’ll need to iron out.”

  Merrill glances at the time on his phone. “Then we better get to it.”

  • • •

  Most kids are celebrities on their wish days. I only get a few mumbled happy birthdays and sympathetic looks.

  But all day, it feels like Merrill, Norie, and I have the most amazing secret in the world.

  We hung out at the skeleton house, planning, until it was time for school. We considered ditching but didn’t want to raise suspicions. We probably could’ve gone to the wish cave straight away to carry out our plan, but wishes are always scheduled within an hour of the time a person was born. I don’t know if that’s a hard rule for wishes coming true, but I wasn’t going to chance it.

  I was born around two thirty in the afternoon. So right after the school day ends, it’ll be wish o’clock.

  “Hey,” Merrill said as we walked into school. “What are you going to wish for anyway?”

  Norie nudged him. “If he wanted to tell us, he would have.”

  She was right. They’d find out soon enough.

  The school looks different today. Like the fog I’ve been in has lifted. Like I’m finally on the right path.

  • • •

  I should have guessed that if someone was going to interfere with my plans, it’d be Mr. Wakefield.

  “Mr. Wilkes,” he says, stopping me in the hall. “I want to invite you to my office after school today.”

  “Um. No thanks?”

  “I really feel you should be with someone on this day of all days. When the time of your wish comes and goes, you’re likely to experience deep emotions, and you’ll want someone to converse with.”

  �
�I don’t think I will,” I say. “Really, I’m OK.”

  I start to walk away.

  Mr. Wakefield puts his hand on my shoulder. “Actually, it’s not a request.”

  “What?”

  “Mayor Fontaine insists that someone keep you company.”

  “You mean keep an eye on me.”

  “We have different thoughts on the purpose, perhaps, but it amounts to the same.”

  “That’s bullshit,” I say.

  “The mayor wanted to meet with you himself. I convinced him your time was better spent with me. Either way, someone will be with you this afternoon. You choose who.”

  Like there’s any question.

  “I guess I’ll see you after school then,” I say.

  I text Merrill and Norie that we have a minor snag. We skip fourth period to work it out.

  • • •

  The day flies by. I don’t know what happens in any of my classes. I can hardly keep still.

  I watch the clock hands whirl. Hours pass like minutes. Suddenly, the day is over, and I’m on a tight time line. I need to get to the wish cave ASAP. There are no do-overs with wishing.

  Mr. Wakefield is waiting for me in his office. I slide into the seat across from him.

  “How are you feeling?” he asks.

  “I’m OK.”

  He frowns.

  “Actually,” I say, “I’m a little conflicted. You were right when you said I sabotaged my own wish. And I guess I’m not really sure what that means.”

  He leans forward. “We can certainly discuss that. Together, we’ll arrive at a conclusion.”

  “That sounds great,” I say.

  He babbles. I keep my eyes on the clock. Any time now, Merrill, I think.

  After what feels like an eternity, there’s a knock on the door.

  “Pardon the interruption, Mr. Wilkes,” Mr. Wakefield says before calling, “Come in.”

  Merrill peeks his head into the office.

  “Why, Mr. Delacruz. Here to keep your friend company?”

  Merrill gives me a suspicious look. “What are you doing here?”

  “Talking,” I say.

  “You told him, didn’t you?” Merrill accuses.

  Mr. Wakefield’s gaze ping-pongs back and forth between us.

  “No. I didn’t tell him,” I say. “I mean, I might have mentioned something. But only in passing. I didn’t say names.”