Holding Out For Skye

by McKade, S. R.

  Why had she left the restaurant like that? Cian had just been bugging her as usual. She couldn’t blame him when she was the one who hadn’t thought things through. She should have just retorted something to him and changed the subject, instead of getting out of there like the hellhounds of Hell were after her.

  Why hadn’t she figured out the implications of pretending that she and Cian were in love? Of course they would have to act as a couple or else her little act in front of Vanessa and Alastor would have been in vain. In trying to save Cian from being humiliated, she had just created a bigger problem for herself. Because how could she back out of it now?

  It wouldn’t be fair to him. He hadn’t asked her to do her little act. She had just gone with the impulse and he’d played along.

  She must have been out of her mind! Tyler had been right, she seriously needed therapy. Maybe then she wouldn’t make rash mistakes like the gigantic one she’d just made.

  Though Ty had had Dr. Frankenstein in mind as the ideal doctor to fix her.

  “Running away, Skye? I didn’t figure you for a coward.”

  Skye didn’t bother to sigh or turn around, she’d have recognised that voice anywhere. How the hell had he known she would be here? And why had he come after her? She didn’t say anything.

  “Or are you trying to become a future victim to assholes who prey on women sitting out here all alone, women who don’t have the sense to know the danger in that?” Fury dripped from his words.

  When she still didn’t react, Cian slowly let go of his anger over her safety. She was safe, which was all that mattered. He let out a deep breath and sat down beside her. She didn’t move a muscle.

  “I thought that would get a rise out of you but I see I’m getting the silent treatment instead.” Like her, he turned his gaze to the horizon, wishing there was something he could come up with to get her to react to him. She hadn’t even turned to look at him.

  The heavy feeling inside him was new. “I’m sorry.”

  Skye was startled. This was the first time Cian had ever apologized to her for anything. In all fairness, he wasn’t really to blame here. He’d already had a rotten surprise today and now he had to deal with her moody self. So snap out of it! she told herself.

  She turned to face him. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m not mad at you, Cian. I’m sorry I rushed out like that.”

  Cian felt a wave of relief wash over him. Thank god, she was at least speaking to him.

  “I am sorry. I behaved like a jerk. I know how you feel… . about me, that you don’t like me at all. I shouldn’t have been so flippant like that.”

  Skye felt remorse that she had made him feel like that. It wasn’t his fault that she wasn’t a sociable person. He shouldn’t have to pay for it.

  “No.” She took a deep breath. “No. I don’t not like you. I’m sorry for giving you that impression. I don’t know how you managed it, with all our fights and my foul moods,” she accepted that wryly, “but I guess we are somewhat friends.”

  He looked at her, shocked. Had she said what he’d thought she’d just said? Maybe he was dreaming. “Did hell just freeze over? Who are you and what did you do with the real Skye?”

  She gave him a bland stare. “Very funny.”

  “It’s just I don’t think I heard you right. Did you say you liked me, actually liked me and called me a friend?”

  “I said I don’t ‘not’ like you and we are ‘somewhat’ friends. I didn’t say I liked you nor did I call you a friend. Don’t let it go to your head, okay?”

  He chuckled. He should have known. Everything with her was a contradiction. “There’s the Skye I know.” And love. He felt as if a weight had lifted off his chest, that he could breathe easier now. Maybe his love for her wasn’t such a lost cause.

  “Okay, now that we’ve made up, let’s eat. I brought our share of the pizza.”

  He had brought her food? “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “Yes, I did. After all, you left because of me. And you don’t have to worry about us acting like a couple. Thank you for what you did for me back there. But we are not going to do it. Doesn’t matter what Vanessa and Alastor think. So don’t worry about it.”

  Relief and guilt and disappointment warred inside of her. She should be doing cartwheels that he was letting her off the hook. So why wasn’t she happy? And what was that about feeling disappointment? Why would she be disappointed? Skye frowned at her thoughts.

  “It’s my fault they think we’re going out and we can’t give Vanessa and Alastor the satisfaction of having humiliated you. So I’ll just pretend to be your girlfriend. When you find a new one, you can just pretend-dump me.”

  Cian goggled at her. She couldn’t be serious, could she? But from her earnest expression, he could see she was perfectly serious. Pretending to be his girlfriend when he wanted her as his actual girlfriend? Talk about pure torture.

  “I don’t need a pretend girlfriend to irritate Vanessa and Alastor, okay? Subject closed. Now, let’s eat.”

  Skye wouldn’t drop it though. “But you can’t do that!”

  Okay, she was testing his patience. “I told you, you don’t have to do it. So just forget about it, okay?”

  “But you can’t give in to Vanessa and Alastor! I told you I’d do it. It’s okay.”

  Cian exploded. “No, it’s not okay! Do you even know what you’re talking about? As a pretend girlfriend, you’ll have to kiss me and hug me in public and go on dates and act all loving, especially to rub it in their faces.”

  Skye froze. Kiss him? Hug him?

  He gave her a shrewd look. “Didn’t think of that, did you?”

  She gulped. “I can do it.”

  He looked at her in disbelief. “You can’t even bear to touch me!”

  “That’s not true.”

  “I saw you wipe your hand after holding mine. You think I don’t know you can’t bear to touch me?”

  That’s what he’d thought? Skye was shocked. “No, that’s not it. That’s not why I… .” She couldn’t tell him.

  He didn’t believe her. “Right.”

  “I wiped it because it was tingling after our hands touched,” she revealed resignedly, not looking at him.

  A rush of hope flashed through him. So he hadn’t been the only one who had felt something!

  “You felt it too.” A slow smile appeared on his face. Maybe there was a chance for him after all.

  Skye could feel her cheeks heating. She had a feeling she was somehow losing control of the situation. She cleared her throat. “So you see, we can pull it off.”

  Cian looked at her blankly, then realized she had headed right back to them being a pretend couple.

  “No.”

  “But—”

  Damn, here he was trying to be noble and she was twisting him in knots. “What if I don’t want a pretend girlfriend, Skye? What if I want a real one? What if I want a real relationship?” What if I want you? But he couldn’t say that to her without scaring her off.

  “What are you saying?” she whispered.

  Drop it, Cian. Just drop it before you say something to push her away. But he couldn’t. Something told him if he didn’t push now, Skye would slip away from him.

  “What if I said I wanted us to be a real couple? That I want you to be my real girlfriend? Would you still say it’s okay?” He looked at her intently, willing her to accept him, to say yes. Knowing it sounded impossible.

  Skye didn’t know how long they kept staring at each other, but she found she couldn’t look away from his gaze. She’d been right—no one should have eyes like his. Her heart pounded like a drum. She wondered if he too, could hear it.

  A resigned look came over his gray eyes and he looked away. “Forget I said that, Skye. You don’t—”

  “Yes.” Skye was barely aware she’d spoken
until he turned his startled gaze back to her.

  “What?”

  “Yes,” she repeated a bit louder. “I’ll be your girlfriend.” She swallowed. God, what had she gotten herself into?

  Cian stared at her in astonishment. She couldn’t have… had she just said yes? His heart swelled with happiness and deflated just as quickly. He couldn’t do it to her. He couldn’t back her into a corner like this.

  “No, you won’t. Forget what I said. Let’s eat. We have to get back to—”

  This time she was furious. She had just freaking agreed to be his freaking girlfriend and he was telling her to forget it? The guy drove her nuts!

  “Stop trying to get me to eat! I just told you I’ll do it, I’ll be your girlfriend!”

  He glared at her. “Being my girlfriend is not a chore, you know. It’s not an obligation you have to fulfill!”

  “It’s not!” she retorted hotly.

  “Fine!” he replied just as angrily, suddenly fed up. You tried to be honorable and the love of your life just kept heaping temptation after temptation on your path. “If you can kiss me on the lips, right here, right now and mean it, I’ll agree to be a couple.”

  Now that he thought about it, he wanted very much to kiss her. There was a yearning in him for Skye that he was only now becoming aware for, just as he’d found out what he felt for her. No wonder he’d almost kissed her the other day.

  Skye stared at him in shock. He couldn’t mean for her to actually kiss him?

  “Can’t do it, can you?” he taunted.

  “I can so do it!”

  Without giving herself time to think about it, Skye caught his shoulder, pulled him towards her and pressed her lips to his. She pulled back instantly.

  Cian didn’t know whether to laugh or shake her. He did neither. Instead, he caught her arm and tugged her towards him. “That was not a kiss, idiot. This is.” She looked at him in alarm but before she could say anything, he lowered his head and pressed his mouth to hers. Her heart seemed to skip a beat as his lips moved over hers, gently, questing.

  Skye had always been so sarcastic about romance, thinking what was so special about kissing and losing your head over a guy and now her heart was racing so fast, her breath catching in her throat. All because of one kiss. His eyes were open and he was staring at her.

  Her mysterious brown eyes drew him in. It was as if a light shone through them, igniting them. “Stop thinking,” Cian murmured against her lips.

  And then Skye couldn’t think, she could only feel. Her eyes shuttered closed.

  His lips were warm against hers, firm. His arms swept around her, pulling her close. Her drawn knees bumped against his chest, which felt hard and muscled, surprising her. She didn’t want to think about why that fact should surprise her. Tingles erupted from her lips and spread to her nerve endings. To the tips of her fingers. To the rest of her body.

  Her toes curled in her shoes. For the first time in her life, she understood that expression. In desperation, her fingers clutched at his shirt as if seeking an anchor in a raging storm.

  Their lips clung and she heard a moan, barely realizing she was the one who had made the sound.

  Cian banded his arms tightly around her. She was so soft and she felt so good. He’d never felt like this before with anyone else. As if the top of his head were about to blow up. All because of one innocent little kiss.

  Her moan brought him back to earth with a start. With regret, he slowly pulled away from her. She murmured a soft protest and he couldn’t help smiling. When she opened her eyes, she had such a dazed look on her face, it was all he could do not to kiss her again.

  Skye’s eyes widened. She released her grip on his shirt and lifted trembling fingers to her lips. Their gazes locked and she could only stare at him helplessly. In that one moment, they both understood something had just changed between them, maybe forever.

  “Are you sure?” At the first sign of hesitation, he was calling it off.

  But she only stared at him with a serious look in her beautiful brown eyes. Then softly but clearly she said, “Yes.”

  Cian laughed with relief and hope and joy. He wrapped his arms around her again and held her. Just held her. He had gotten his chance. Now he just had to convince her to fall in love with him. No big deal. Make that more like Mission Impossible. But hell, after what had just happened between them, anything was possible.

  Skye smiled. He looked so happy. And strangely, it made her happy too, to see him like that. She was still nervous, but he didn’t make her feel so uncomfortable—maybe it’d be okay. She felt warm and safe in his embrace. What the hell was wrong with her? Feeling this way. He was supposed to be annoying, not make her feel warm and safe.

  He pulled back from her, still smiling. “Will you eat now?”

  “Sure, I’m starving!” She looked away and tried hard not to blush since he still had his arms around her. But from his smile, she knew she hadn’t fooled him. Looked like he had just gotten the upper hand. And he knew it too.

  Some time later, Skye looked at her watch and gasped. They’d already been out for more than an hour. “Cian, look at the time, we need to hurry!” Marina was going to kill them if they didn’t get to work soon.

  When they got up to leave, he held out his hand to her. “May I?”

  Skye gave him a startled look. Before Cian, she had never held hands with anyone before. Remember, you agreed to this, she told herself. She reluctantly placed her hand in his.

  She couldn’t ignore the tingly sensation this time. His hand wasn’t smooth and puny like she would have thought but slightly rough and god, so manly. It was the hand of someone who wasn’t afraid of hard work. Hers was so much smaller than his, his hand swallowed it whole.

  Breathe, Skye, just breathe.

  He smiled, a quick, easy smile and swung their hands as they walked.

  “Cut it out!” she hissed at him.

  Cian tried not to smile again. “So, now that we’re going out, does that mean we won’t argue and you’ll go easy on me?”

  “Dream on,” she shot back.

  He laughed. “Some things never change.”

  As they walked, she gnawed at her lip and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t know what to expect now that their relationship had changed—changed into something she had no experience with, no guidelines. She didn’t really know how to act around a guy like him.

  “Out with it. I can hear your thoughts going round and round, trying to figure things out.”

  Skye scowled. That was another thing. How the hell did he know she was worrying?

  “C’mon. I know you’ve got something on your mind.”

  “I was just wondering where… . where do we go from here?”

  “To the office, where else,” he pointed out with feigned innocence.

  Skye gritted her teeth and tried to tug her hand out of his.

  “All right, all right, don’t blow a fuse.” His tone became serious. “Where do you want to go from here?”

  This situation was so unreal. Skye sneaked another look at him. Bit her lip again. Should she tell him or not?

  Cian frowned. “What is it, Skye? I think we should decide right here not to hold back anything and be honest, okay?”

  That felt right. Yes, a relationship was based on truth. And trust. And he needed to know.

  “It’s just… I don’t know what to expect since I—I, uh, I’ve never gone out with anyone before,” she said in a speedy rush as if it would attract less attraction that way.

  He stopped short. Turned those glittering gray eyes towards her. Searched her face. Then he understood just what she was trying to tell him. Not anyone like him. She meant not with any guy at all. That meant… she’d never had a boyfriend before.

  “Not even in school? College?” When she shook her head
, he went on, “What about at your previous work place?”

  “Too much of a hassle.”

  Cian should have known. Of course in her book, having a relationship with someone translated into too much trouble. Wait a minute… that meant that their kiss earlier had been her first kiss? So that meant… He looked at her, stunned. “You’ve never—”

  “No,” she interjected briskly, understanding what he was getting at. “Geez, what’s the BFD?”

  God, this was so embarrassing. In high school and college, then later in her previous job, no guy had really paid much attention to her and that had been just fine with Skye. Her life so far had been all about making sure she had enough money to survive.

  She made as if to walk away but he tugged at her hand and pulled her in his arms. Her breath hitched at his reaction. It felt strange and wonderful at the same time. He was so much taller than her, his body dwarfed hers.

  Her heart sped up as he hugged her tightly. She felt a warmth steal over her whole being. So this was how it felt to be embraced by a boyfriend. Skye had never been comfortable with being touched. Tyler, Crystal and Kiera were the only ones who didn’t let that stop them from hugging her.

  “It is a big deal.” His voice was husky, tugging at her heartstrings. He rubbed his chin against her hair. “Thank you for letting me be the first.” And he would damn well make sure he was the last.

  Oh, god, his words were so embarrassing! “Cian, let go,” she hissed. “People are staring.” If she wasn’t comfortable being touched, she definitely wasn’t comfortable being touched in public.

  “Let them.” Cian understood now why she always got embarrassed at his teasing innuendos. He also realized he would need to take it slow with her.

  “Cian, let me go,” she reiterated.

  “I like staying like this.”

  “Cian!”

  “Fine. But we better talk about stuff.” He finally pulled away but retained hold of her hand.

  “What stuff?” she muttered as they resumed walking.