What Might Have Been: Daniels Brother #4 (Daniels Brothers)

by Sherri Hayes

  “Yeah. And on an intellectual level, I get that. But—”

  “But you’re still mad at her,” Trent finished for him.

  Chris looked his brother in the eye. “Wouldn’t you be?”

  Trent didn’t answer right away. “Probably.”

  They were both quiet for a long while. Trent was trying to give his brother time.

  Chris shifted in his chair, drawing Trent’s attention.

  “Are you and Abby together?” The question hung in the air.

  “I’m not sure what we are at the moment.”

  Chris sat up, straightening his shoulders as if he were preparing himself. “Have you slept with her?”

  The memory of Abby underneath him on the couch flashed through his mind. “No.”

  “But you want to.” It wasn’t a question. “You always did have a crush on her.”

  Trent was shocked. He’d thought he’d kept his feelings for Abby to himself back then.

  “Don’t look so surprised. You hung out with us every chance you got. What sixteen-year-old guy chooses to hang with his brother and his brother’s girlfriend instead of going out with his friends, unless he’s got stars in his eyes for his brother’s girl?”

  Trent rolled his eyes.

  “Seriously, I wondered back then why you never said anything.”

  Trent looked at his brother as if he’d lost his mind. “She was your girl.”

  To some that might not have been enough, but for them it was.

  Chris nodded. “We always did have the same taste in women.”

  “Never gonna let me live down the fact that I went on a date with your wife before you did, are you?”

  “Not a chance,” Chris muttered.

  They both chuckled before falling silent again.

  “What are you going to do?” Trent asked after several minutes had passed. His brother knew he was talking about Abby.

  “Talk to her, I guess. I still have no idea what I’m going to say, but if you two . . .” Chris waved his hand in the air to fill in the blanks. “We can’t ignore the elephant in the room.”

  Trent knew that was true enough. If he and Abby did manage to make things work, then she and Chris would be seeing each other a lot. His brother and sister-in-law only lived about an hour north of Cincinnati. They came down to visit almost every weekend.

  Before Trent could say more, Chris stood. “I should go. I told Elizabeth I’d be back tonight.”

  Standing, Trent followed his brother to the door. He locked up and they both headed to their vehicles.

  He rested a hand on the front of his truck and glanced over at Chris. As much as Trent wanted to see Abby tonight, Chris needed to talk to her more. Before he could say anything, his brother asked, “You want to grab some pizza?”

  Trent smirked. “Putting it off isn’t going to make it any easier. Why don’t you pick up a pizza and take it with you to Abby’s?”

  Chris sighed. “This emotional stuff isn’t my strong suit. But you’re right. It’s better to get it over with.”

  “Good luck,” Trent said as he walked around to the driver’s side of his truck and reached for the door.

  “Thanks.”

  Trent watched as his brother backed out and drove away. Every cell in his body wanted to go to Abby, to stand beside her as she and Chris had this very important conversation. But he knew he couldn’t. As much as he wanted to be in Abby’s life—to be the one she leaned on—this wasn’t something he could help her with.

  It hadn’t escaped his attention that Chris had come alone. Apparently, Elizabeth felt the same as Trent did because he knew she would do anything for his brother, would stand beside him come hell or high water. No, this was something Chris and Abby had to figure out together.

  Slipping the key into the ignition, Trent started the truck and headed home to his empty house. It was going to be a very long evening.

  ***

  Abby reluctantly opened her eyes and yawned. The nap had done her good.

  She sat up and glanced out the window. It was still light out. According to the glowing numbers of her alarm clock, it was a little after seven. As if in response to the time, her stomach picked that moment to protest. The spa had provided a small lunch, but that was hours ago.

  Getting out of bed, Abby made her way into the kitchen. She opened her refrigerator, contemplating her options. There wasn’t much there beyond the basics, but surely she could throw something edible together even if it was nothing more than scrambled eggs.

  She was removing the egg carton when the doorbell rang. All the relaxation from before vanished and her heart rate skyrocketed. Trent. Abby needed to talk to him. She needed to know that what had happened hadn’t damaged their friendship. Even if they could never have anything more than that, she still wanted him—needed him—as a friend.

  In less than ten seconds, she was wrenching the door open. But it wasn’t Trent standing on her doorstep. It was Chris.

  Abby opened her mouth to say something, but the words wouldn’t come.

  “Hi,” he said, lifting the pizza box he was holding. “I brought dinner. I was hoping we could talk.”

  She stepped back and motioned him inside. “Sure. Um. Come in.”

  Chris brushed past her. He was large and imposing physically. All the Daniels men were, even their father, Mike. They were all over six feet tall and had strong, broad shoulders. Abby remembered what it had felt like to have Chris hold her, how his touch used to make her heart skip a beat, but that was long gone. There was someone else who held that power over her now. She only hoped Trent would be able to forgive her for what she’d done to his brother—his family.

  Abby led Chris into her small kitchen. “Can I get you something to drink? I don’t have any beer, but I have some wine.”

  Chris set the pizza box on the table and pulled out a chair. “Just water.”

  She nodded and reached up into the cabinet for some glasses. As much as she could really use a glass of wine, Abby figured he had the right idea. Water was the better option.

  Abby placed their drinks on the table and lowered herself into a chair across from him. Neither reached for the pizza. They just sat there, staring at each other.

  He cleared his throat. “I figure you know why I’m here.”

  “Yes.”

  A long silence followed.

  He opened the pizza box so suddenly she jumped.

  Chris stilled. “I’d never hit you, Abby.”

  Heat colored her cheeks. “I know that. Sorry. I guess I’m just a little jumpy.”

  After a long moment, he nodded and returned his attention to the pizza. It was divided into two halves. One side was covered in onions, mushrooms, peppers, and pepperoni. The other half only had cheese and pepperoni. He’d remembered.

  “Thanks,” she mumbled as she reached for a slice. “You didn’t have to get both. I could have picked off the stuff I don’t like.”

  He shrugged and stuffed a large slice of pizza into his mouth.

  After a couple of bites, Abby felt as if she needed to say something. He’d come to her, obviously ready to talk. Now it was up to her.

  “When I found out I was pregnant, I picked up the phone to call you at least a dozen times,” she said.

  “What stopped you?” It was a valid question.

  “I didn’t want to disappoint your family,” she whispered.

  Chris’ eyes widened. “How would you finding out you were pregnant disappoint my family?”

  Abby sighed. There was no way to get around this. She could try to dress it up as much as she wanted, but it wouldn’t make a difference. Setting her pizza down, she met his gaze. “Because I knew you’d want to do the right thing. You’d want to marry me, and I didn’t feel that way about you anymore.”

  He slammed his fist against the table and dropped the piece of pizza he’d had in his hand. “So because you didn’t want to marry me, you decided it was okay to keep the fact that you were having my baby fro
m me?”

  Chris was seething and she couldn’t blame him.

  “I’m sorry.” She could say it a million times over and it still wouldn’t seem like enough.

  For the longest time he glared at her across the table. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

  It would be so easy to lie to him. To tell him that yes, she would have told him. One of these days. “I don’t know. If she had lived, yes, I would have told you. But it was . . . easier after she died to justify keeping it to myself. She was gone. There was no point—”

  “No point?” She saw his nostrils flare. He clenched his fists and Abby knew he was trying to hold on to his temper. “How could you think there was no point in telling me I had a daughter? Whether she lived or not shouldn’t matter.”

  Abby felt about two inches tall. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  He blew out a breath. “You said she’s in New York.”

  She nodded. “Yes. She’s buried in the children’s section of a cemetery in Brooklyn. I didn’t like her being in the city, but I wanted her close by so I could go visit her.”

  Chris scraped his chair across the floor and stood. He paced back and forth several times, stopped, looked at her, and then went back to pacing. When he turned to face her, hands on his hips, the look on his face was almost scary. “I want you to take me to see her. I deserve that much. You owe me that much.”

  Abby didn’t know how she felt about taking Chris to New York to see Kaylee’s grave, but he was right. She did owe him. “Okay.”

  He looked as if he’d been ready to argue his point home, so when she immediately agreed, it took him a few moments to shift gears. “I want to go as soon as possible.”

  “We can go whenever you want.” Max wouldn’t be happy about it. Not about her going, but that she was going with Chris. Alone. Max would want to come with them.

  “This weekend?” he asked. Although it sounded more like a statement than it did a question.

  So soon.

  “Sure. I’ll call tomorrow and make the flight arrangements,” she said.

  He didn’t move for a long time. “I should get home to Elizabeth. She’ll be worried.”

  When he started for the door, Abby stopped him. “I really am sorry, Chris. I never meant to hurt you. No matter what, you didn’t deserve that.”

  Chris paused long enough to let her say her piece, then marched out the door, leaving his half-eaten slice of pizza sitting on his plate to grow cold.

  More than anything, she wished she could go back in time and change things. But she couldn’t. What was done was done. All she could do now was try and make it right for him. If Chris needed to go to Kaylee’s grave, then she’d give him that.

  Abby cleaned up and put the pizza in the refrigerator. She made sure everything was turned off and secured for the night before heading to her bedroom. Absentmindedly, she went to the closet and removed the shoebox that contained the little bits of her daughter she had left.

  She reached into the box and removed the tiny stuffed bear Max had brought to the hospital for Kaylee. It was pink and fit in the palm of her hand. She set the box aside and curled up on the bed, tucking the bear under her chin.

  Chapter 14

  Trent had tried to keep himself busy. Hell, he’d even started going through the junk in his garage that had been piling up for the last five years. The good news was that he was making progress. He could see the wall again, at least. The bad news was that it had done nothing to keep his mind off Abby.

  He took the box cutter he’d been using and sliced through the tape of another box. As he opened the flaps, his cell vibrated in his pocket. Concerned it might be Abby or Chris, Trent dug the phone out of his pocket. Elizabeth’s name lit up his screen.

  “How’s my favorite sister-in-law?”

  She released something that sounded like a mix between a laugh and a sigh. “Ask me that again in an hour or so.”

  Trent stopped what he was doing. “Everything all right?”

  “It will be, I think,” she said. “I just got off the phone with Chris. He’s on his way home.”

  “I take it his talk with Abby didn’t go well?” Trent reached for a stool nearby and sat down, the box forgotten.

  Elizabeth made an unintelligible sound. “I guess that depends on how you look at it.”

  He waited for her to go on.

  “They talked, and at least he seems to have gotten some answers. But . . .”

  “But?” he prompted.

  “Chris wants to go to New York and see where his daughter is buried. They’re making arrangements to fly out this coming weekend.”

  Trent’s mind raced with concern for Abby. For Chris. And even for Elizabeth. People he cared about were hurting and he felt as if his hands were tied.

  “I take it you don’t want him to go?” Trent asked.

  “It’s not that. I understand his need to go. I just . . . he wants to do this by himself. Just him and Abby,” she said, sounding defeated.

  “Elizabeth, Chris would never do anything to hurt you. You know that, right? He would never—”

  This time he didn’t miss her snort. “I’m not worried about him cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend. What I’m worried about is Chris being in New York falling apart, and me being six hundred miles away, unable to be there for him.”

  There really wasn’t anything Trent could say to that. He knew exactly what Elizabeth was feeling in that respect. “Talk to him when he gets home. Maybe he’ll change his mind.”

  “No, he won’t.”

  Trent could have argued, but he didn’t see the point. She was right. The chances of Chris changing his mind were slim. His brother was stubborn once he’d made up his mind.

  “Can I ask you something?” Elizabeth asked with cautious edge to her voice.

  “You know you can.”

  “Are you and Abby . . .”

  He rubbed the back of his head and looked up at the sky. Trent knew what she was asking. “I don’t know.”

  “But you want to be,” she said, filling in the blanks.

  “Yes.” A simple answer, and an honest one.

  “I figured as much.” She hesitated. “I don’t want to overstep here, but if my short conversation with Chris was any indication, I think Abby is going to need someone tonight.”

  The urge to go to her had been haunting him all evening. “I don’t know if I should. She might need time—”

  “Trent. Stop second-guessing yourself. Heaven knows, I did enough of that when I first met your brother. If you want to be with her, then be with her. We all make mistakes in life. That doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to be happy.” His sister-in-law knew what she was talking about. She’d spent five years with a man who knocked her around before she’d finally gotten out.

  He decided to be honest. “A part of me feels like I’ll be betraying Chris.”

  She was quiet for a long moment. “If the shoe were on the other foot, what would you want him to do? Would you want him to not go after what he wanted, be with who he wanted to be with, because there was history between you and the woman?”

  Trent thought about it. Would he mind if one of his brothers had come to him and wanted to date one of his ex-girlfriends? Granted, Trent had never had a relationship with a woman that had come close to what Chris and Abby once had. Even so, he knew the answer. If she was what Chris or Gage or Paul wanted, he wouldn’t begrudge them that.

  “Thanks, Elizabeth.”

  “Anytime.” He could almost hear her grinning through the phone.

  Trent laughed. “You called me for some support and you end up giving me advice. Some friend I am.”

  “Friends are there for each other. Plus, I’m not only a friend. I’m family.”

  He smiled. “Have I told you lately how happy I am that my brother manned up and married you?”

  It was her turn to chuckle. “No. Can’t say that you have.”

  “Well, I am. He’s one lucky bastard.”

&
nbsp; When they both finished laughing, she said, “Now, get off the phone and go comfort your woman. I have a feeling she’s going to need you.”

  Trent stood and tucked the stool under the wooden bench that ran the length of one wall. “Call me if you or Chris needs anything.”

  Before Trent ended the call, he was locking the house up and heading toward his truck. It struck him as he was backing out of his driveway how amazing his sister-in-law really was. She had every reason to hate Abby. Not only was she Chris’ ex, but Abby had hurt him. Instead, she’d been sympathetic. But that was Elizabeth.

  It didn’t take Trent long to reach Abby’s apartment. He parked his truck, locked it up, and jogged to her door. All the lights inside were off, but he knew she was home. Chris hadn’t left all that long ago and her car was still in the lot.

  He rang the doorbell twice, but there was no answer, so he tried knocking. Right as he was about to give up, the door opened, and Abby stood there clutching a tiny stuffed bear to her chest. Her eyes were bloodshot. She’d been crying again.

  Without a word, Trent walked into the apartment. He closed the door, turned the lock, and then crushed her against him. “I’m here.”

  Her sobs broke free. “Why? You should hate me for what I did.”

  “I told you. I could never hate you. Never in a million years.” He glanced around. “Were you in your room?”

  She nodded.

  “Come on.” Without waiting for her response, Trent took her hand and headed down the hall to her bedroom. He led her over to the bed, turned down the covers, and encouraged her to get in. Once she was settled, he sat down on the mattress, facing her.

  “How did you know to come?” she asked.

  “Chris called Elizabeth on his way home, and she called me.”

  Abby cringed. “I bet she hates me.”

  Trent nearly growled. “Would you stop with all this talk of people hating you? No one hates you, Abby.”

  “Chris does. And he should. He has every right to.”

  “I highly doubt that,” Trent said.

  “He’s not happy with me,” she whispered.

  Trent brushed the hair away from her face. As conflicted as he was about everything that was going on, there was one thing he wasn’t conflicted about. He wanted to be where Abby was. “He needs some time.”