A Promise of Passion

by M. E. Nesser

  We’d also made another pact. One night we started talking about what would happen when one of us died. It was a depressing discussion, but a necessary one. We had just drawn up our wills, and there were still things we needed to talk about. Once the logistics were out of the way, we talked about what would happen to us personally.

  It was a hard discussion, but an important one. I admitted to him that I couldn’t imagine ever loving another man as much as I loved him. He agreed, but he knew that spending the rest of our lives alone would be a waste. We were loving, passionate people who were not meant to be alone.

  He told me that even if he died first, he would always be with me in spirit. He also told me that it would make him extremely sad if I never found passion again in my life. During this talk, we were drinking gin and tonics with double olives, which was our drink of choice when we weren’t drinking wine. That was when we made our pact.

  We promised each other that when the other person died, we would keep our hearts open to find passion in our lives. It was a good thing to say aloud, even though it was a painful thing to talk about and a difficult concept to wrap my head around.

  He suggested that we try to come up with some kind of special sign to let the other person know that the deceased was still there in spirit. As he was considering different options, I was sucking the pimento out of my olive. His eyes lit up, and he said, “I got it, Katie. You’ll know I’m still with you when you find two pimentos in one of your cocktail olives.”

  “But there are never two pimentos in an olive!” I whined. “And how many gin and tonics do you think I’m going to drink? Can’t we come up with something more practical?”

  “What’s practical about any of this discussion?” he countered.

  That was how our pact was made. I prayed that we wouldn’t die until we were old and gray and there’d be no need to count the pimentos in my olives.

  56

  After we’d been married for four years, we started talking about having kids. Our careers were doing great. We had an incredible apartment in Manhattan. Even though we had plenty of money to buy a house, we enjoyed living in the city and walking to work. Having kids would probably change that. But it was time. We weren’t getting any younger, so it made sense to start a family.

  We discussed the fact that we would have to move out of the city, which made us both kind of bummed, but we were ready. I wanted to have a child with this remarkable woman I loved so dearly. Katie said she was looking for some kind of sign that it was time for her to go off the pill and start trying.

  Then one day it happened. We met for lunch at one of our favorite Italian restaurants. As the waiter was walking us to our table, we passed a group of women having lunch. One woman was sitting next to a child in a high chair. As Katie walked past their table, the toddler dropped a toy, bent over to retrieve it, and started to fall out of the chair. Apparently the belt wasn’t buckled properly, and the child was not secure at all. The women at the table were oblivious to the child. Thank God Katie noticed him. As he started to fall headfirst to the floor, Katie dropped her briefcase and grabbed him. She scooped him up in her arms, and he grabbed her around the neck, frightened. The mom noticed what had happened, screamed, and jumped out of her chair. She thanked Katie profusely and started to cry. Meanwhile, the toddler continued to snuggle with Katie, and it was beautiful to watch how naturally she was able to calm him down. She tried calming the mom down, too, but that wasn’t as easy. Katie handed the boy back to his mother and reassured her that he was fine.

  The mother paid for our lunch, which we didn’t know about until we had finished. The group of women had already left the restaurant, so we were unable to thank them.

  That night, Katie said that she had just finished this month’s pack of pills and didn’t have a prescription for any more. I asked her if she was going to call her doctor to prescribe her another six months.

  She said that if it were OK with me, she’d like to go off of them. It was one of the most gratifying moments in my life. I told her that we needed to start practicing right then. And we did.

  I picked her up and carried her into the bathroom, where I slowly removed her lawyerly outfit. It never ceased to amaze me how gorgeous my woman could look in a pinstriped suit. Taking it off her, however, was even more gorgeous.

  When I had her down to her panties, I changed course and went to remove the pins in her hair. She liked to wear her hair in a French twist kind of style, because she thought wearing her hair up looked more professional now that she was a partner at the law firm. At the end of the day, however, she loved having me take her hair down and massage her head. Sometimes, I think it turned her on more than most of the other things I did to her.

  As I massaged her scalp, she leaned back against the sink, dropped her head back, and let out a little sigh. Once I felt like I had made her head feel better, I shimmied down her panties and knelt in front of her. She protested, saying she wanted to shower first, but I couldn’t wait. I loved her natural smell—shower or not.

  I started out slowly, licking her lips with my heavy breath panting on her mound. She tried to urge me to be more forceful, but I liked taking my time and making her suffer just a little. Teasing her was one of my favorite pastimes.

  After a few minutes, I was the one starting to suffer. I needed to be inside of her, so it was time to get her body really warmed up and ready for me. I started sucking on her with more fervor, and she started saying my name over and over again. I knew she was close. I pulled her body closer to mine so I could grab her ass. I kneaded her ass as I sucked on her. That was all it took. She screamed my name as she exploded in my mouth.

  I stood up, lifted her back onto the counter, and slammed into her. She buried her head into my chest and begged me to slam her even harder. Whenever she told me what she wanted, I became even more aroused. Even after all of these years, I could never seem to get my fill of her. I did as she asked and gave it to her with everything I had. It didn’t take long for each of us to succumb to the feeling that only a full-blown orgasm can give.

  As our breathing slowed down, I gently pulled out of her and crouched down to help her out of her shoes. I stood back up and helped her take her bra off, taking a little extra time to give some attention to the girls. As I sucked on her nipples, they became small and hard. It made my body start to twitch. I knew that my body wasn’t ready for another round quite yet, but I also knew that it wasn’t going to take long.

  I helped her off the counter and turned to start the shower. As it warmed up, we both used our respective sinks to brush our teeth.

  As I looked in the mirror, I realized that my beard was getting heavy. “If my wife would allow me the honor of letting me go down on her again, maybe it would be a good idea to shave this stubble so I don’t cause her precious lady parts any irritation,” I offered.

  “I think that would be an excellent idea, Mr. Collins,” she replied.

  As I shaved my face, Katie hopped in the shower and started shaving her legs. We always made a point of keeping ourselves as groomed as possible. Since we had sex as often as possible, we liked being ready for each other. I peeked into the shower and noticed that Katie had one leg on the stool as she was shaving it. I hurried up so I could join her. As soon as I finished shaving my face, I hopped in behind her, grabbed the soap, and started washing the crack of her ass. I was very respectful of this area, because penetration frightened her, but she definitely enjoyed some manual anal play. I got her ass all soapy and kneaded her muscles, feeling her relax. She moaned with a contented sigh. Between the calm of having two orgasms, the hot water, and the massage, I had her melting in my hands. After a few minutes, I reached between her crack and started playing in the entrance of her ass. She started to lose her balance, so I helped her stand upright. I kept one hand between her cheeks and used the other to reach around and massage her breasts. She started to giggle as she felt my stiffened penis poking her from behind.

  She reached b
ehind her back and found what she was looking for. As I kissed her neck and rubbed her in all the right places, she stroked lovingly up and down my hard shaft. I became harder under her touch. When she reached even lower to massage my balls, I could feel the tension building, and I was ready to take her again.

  “Bend over, baby. I want to continue looking at this view,” I said.

  She leaned down and braced herself on the step. I lifted her hips up so I could get the perfect angle. She was still holding me, so it was up to her to put it where she wanted it when she was ready. Before I knew it, I was deeply nestled inside of her beautifully tight body. Boy, I hope having a baby didn’t change how snug her body was. Not that it would matter. I’d never tire of making love to this woman.

  She let go of my penis so she could brace herself with both arms. I reached down between her legs so I could give her the clitoral stimulation that I knew she craved. As I slowly rocked in and out of her, I put my other finger deep in her ass. She liked the way it felt and begged me to use two fingers. It was my pleasure. I could never deny this woman anything, in or out of the bedroom. We found our rhythm as the hot water from the shower fell over our bodies. It’s funny how you can get so in tune with another person’s body that you can’t help but escalate at the same time.

  I could feel her body getting ready to explode, so I increased the tempo of my thrusting as well as the pressure of my hands. Like the crescendo of an orchestra, we shuddered as our release took us over the edge.

  57

  I wasn’t even sure if I’d get my period right away, since I had been on the pill for over fifteen years. The first one finally did come, around six weeks after I stopped taking the contraception. It was a lot heavier and more painful than I was used to, and I didn’t like it one bit. Normally, my periods were so light that we’d be able to have sex right through that week. Not this time. If we’d had sex during that time, it would have looked like a crime scene.

  I marked it on the calendar so I could figure out my body’s new timetable. I’d never had to worry about timing before, and I was already rethinking this no-birth-control thing. It was a pain in the ass.

  The following month came and went, and I never really thought about my period. I was so busy at work that I didn’t even notice more than forty days had passed. Bryce must also not have noticed how much time had passed, because he never mentioned it either.

  One afternoon, I was out with a client at a lunch meeting. He ordered a sandwich smothered in Brie cheese. When the server brought our lunches to the table, I couldn’t believe how pungent the cheese smelled. My stomach flipped, and I felt sick. I had ordered a Caesar salad, and they had placed two full anchovies on top. I thought I was going to be sick all over the table. I excused myself and ran toward the restroom. On the way, I saw the server and whispered in her ear that I would be grateful if she would remove the anchovies from my salad.

  I went into the restroom and made it into the stall just in the nick of time. I vomited every drop of water, coffee, and protein bar that was in my stomach. It was so gross. When I knew there was nothing left, I flushed and went to the sink to wash my hands and rinse out my mouth. As I stood at the sink trying to catch my breath, I splashed cold water on my face and looked up to the mirror. I was frightened by what I saw. I was pale and sweaty, and my neck was flushed like I had been having sex for the past hour. I couldn’t imagine, for the life of me, what was wrong.

  When I returned to the table, the client asked if everything was all right with me. I told him I was feeling a little under the weather but that I would be fine. Fortunately, he was almost done with his foul-smelling sandwich, and my anchovies had been removed from my plate. I picked at my salad and even ate a piece of bread to calm my stomach. It was so weird; I couldn’t even drink water without feeling like it was going to come right back up and end up on the table.

  I ended the meeting as quickly as possible and went back to my office and closed the door. I leaned back in my chair, kicked my heels off, and put my feet on the desk. Then the proverbial light bulb went off. I was pregnant.

  After work, I stopped at the drug store and grabbed a pregnancy kit. I left a little early so I could find out before Bryce came home. If it was positive, I wanted to be able to surprise him. If it was negative, I didn’t want him to be disappointed. We hadn’t talked about a baby since we’d made the decision to stop using birth control. If it was positive, I prayed to God he was still on board.

  I read the directions thoroughly, as all good attorneys do, and peed on the stick. It seemed unbelievably awkward, even though I knew millions of women had done the same thing. The test took a few minutes to develop, so I left the room and paced around in circles until the allotted time had passed. It was either a plus or a minus. Funny how a plus sign would thrill some women and devastate others. If mine was a plus, I reasoned that I would be in shock.

  When Bryce came home, I had dinner ready in the oven. He commented on how thrilled he was that I had gotten home early enough to cook. I handed him a gin and tonic as he walked in the kitchen and gave him a kiss. I was drinking tonics sans the gin since I knew my drinking days were on hold for a while. The meal was fairly bland. I had grilled chicken, roasted asparagus, and made some rice pilaf. I decided to let him eat first before I sprung any information on him.

  I was able to eat some of the meal. At one point, he asked me if everything was all right with me. I assured him that it just been a busy day, and I hadn’t felt very good. After he finished his meal, I told him that I had something special for dessert. We usually didn’t eat dessert, so he was surprised when I disappeared into the kitchen.

  I had some food coloring left over from decorating Easter eggs with Janey’s daughters, and it had given me a really cool idea. Before Bryce had come home, I’d mixed a little red with some vanilla ice cream, until it looked pink. Then I mixed up another bowl of pale blue ice cream, placed the two scoops side-by-side on a plate, and wrote the word “Daddy!” in chocolate chips on top of them. “DAD” was on the blue, and “DY!” was on the pink. I put the plate in the freezer after I decorated it so everything froze into place.

  I brought the plate back to the table and set it down in front of him. Then I went around the table and sat back down. Bryce looked down at the plate and didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then he looked up at me and said in an excited voice, “Really?”

  “Really,” was all I could say.

  “When? How?”

  “I think you know how, silly. I got sick today during lunch with a client and realized that I was late with my period. I bought a pregnancy test on the way home. It showed a plus sign. We’re having a baby, B.”

  He jumped out of the chair, knocking it over, and ran to my side of the table to lift me up and twirl me around. He started kissing me frantically. Suddenly, he stopped.

  “Am I hurting you?” he asked.

  “No, baby. I won’t break. I think we should celebrate.”

  That night we made love for hours. It was a lot different than normal. It was slow and loving. Bryce treated me like a crystal vase that would easily break. I tried to get him to be more aggressive, but it wasn’t happening. It was probably good that he was gentler with me, since my stomach was still a little off. I lost count as to how many times he was able to make me climax. It almost felt like I was with a different man, and it was an extremely satisfying change of pace. Instead of screwing like animals, we waltzed through our lovemaking. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Even Bryce was able to climax three times during the night. Around two in the morning, we collapsed in the most satiated heap ever. It was heavenly.

  58

  Holy shit, I was going to be a dad. Katie called her doctor and scheduled an appointment to confirm the pregnancy. Before we went to the doctor, however, Katie had to arrange for a blood test. She had problems with being anemic in the past, and the doctor said it was important to check out her vitals, in addition to confirming the pregnancy, to make sure she experienced the
healthiest pregnancy possible. She had also suffered from a Vitamin D deficiency, so the doctor just wanted to be as thorough and as cautious as possible.

  She went to a lab on her lunch hour the next day to give some blood—she had tried to give some in the morning, but she was too dehydrated. She vomited when she woke up, and she hadn’t had anything to drink, so her body was depleted.

  I couldn’t wait for the doctor to confirm what we were pretty sure was a fact. Katie was nauseated all the time and had an aversion to most foods. She was exhausted and didn’t have the energy to hit the gym after work, which we often did together. She hardly ate dinner and went to bed early. The transformation over the rest of the week was unbelievable. I was living with a very different woman.

  Her breasts were beginning to thicken and swell. They were sexy as hell. Sadly, they also caused her a fair amount of pain, so I couldn’t touch them. She even had to wear a sports bra to bed, because they hurt when she moved around during the night.

  I had never been in a gynecologist’s office before. I was a bit out of my element. We waited along with several visibly pregnant women and a few girls who looked like they were in their teens. Seeing such young girls waiting for this kind of doctor made me feel very uncomfortable. They reminded me of a girl our junior year in high school who got pregnant. She continued to go to school until she was about five months along. Once she started to show, other kids would whisper behind her back. Others would taunt her and call her unforgivable names. It was uncommon for a student at our particular high school to come to school pregnant. I couldn’t believe how mean the other students were being towards her. It could have happened to anyone. Sadly, she was forced to leave and I heard she finished the year being schooled at home.