She sighed as she made her way to the storeroom. That was the whole point, though; Owen didn’t want her help. He didn’t want anything to do with her. She was a nuisance, someone who threatened his relationship with Daniel, and if he could find a way to erase her from their lives, he would do so. She couldn’t understand why she kept hoping the situation would improve when there was no likelihood of it happening. Owen had set out to dislike her and he wasn’t about to change his mind.
By the time she’d stowed away her protective clothing Rose was feeling uncharacteristically gloomy. She decided that she would do as Charlie had suggested and take a break, in the hope it would lift her spirits. The canteen was on the fifth floor, so she made her way up there and bought a cup of a coffee and a sandwich. It was lunchtime and the place was packed; she was looking for somewhere to sit when Rob arrived.
‘Hang on a sec and I’ll find us a table,’ he told her, grabbing a tray. He loaded a double portion of lasagne onto it, added a large cup of coffee then went to the till.
‘How about the balcony?’ he suggested, after he’d paid. ‘It’s just about warm enough to sit outside today. I don’t know about you, but I could do with a bit of fresh air after being stuck down that giant rat hole all morning.’
‘Sounds good to me,’ she agreed, chuckling at his rather apt description of the multi-billion-pound extension to the tube. She followed him out to the balcony, breathing in deeply as she put her tray on the table. ‘I must say, the air does smell remarkably good up here. It’s hard to believe we’re in the middle of London.’
‘The worst of the fumes tend to hang around at ground level, thankfully enough,’ Rob explained, unloading his lunch. ‘If I were in charge of the city then I’d be thinking about building skyways rather than walkways.’
‘A novel idea.’ Rose pulled out a chair and sat down. ‘Maybe you should suggest it to the powers that be.’
‘I doubt they’d take much notice of a humble registrar,’ Rob said wryly, forking up a huge mouthful of pasta.
‘You never know until you try,’ she retorted.
‘Hmm. Maybe not, although I’m not sure I have the energy to go into politics as well as medicine. It takes me all my time to keep Owen happy, and I don’t think he’d be too pleased if I tried to diversify.’
‘Has he always been so exacting?’ she asked, peeling the plastic film off her sandwich.
‘He’s always been very focused, from what I’ve seen. However, most people who’ve worked with him for a while—like Angie, for instance—say that he’s become far more demanding since his wife died. She had cancer,’ he added as an afterthought.
‘I see.’
Rose deemed it wiser not to mention that she already knew about Owen’s wife in case it gave rise to any awkward questions. She bit into her sandwich, but the urge to find out more about him was too tempting to resist. ‘Do you think he’s become more demanding because he feels that he let his wife down?’
‘What do you mean?’ Rob said in surprise. ‘From what I know, she had the very best care available, so why should Owen feel responsible for her death?’
‘I can’t speak from experience, but I know several people who’ve felt guilty because they weren’t able to do more to help their loved ones.’ She shrugged. ‘It’s understandable when you think about it. Here you are with all this medical knowledge at your fingertips, yet you can’t do anything to help the people you love most of all.’
‘I never thought about it that way,’ Rob said thoughtfully.
‘It might apply, though, don’t you think? Owen blames himself because he wasn’t able to save his wife. That’s why it’s so important for him to do all he can for his patients.’
Owen ground to a halt when he heard what Rose had said. He’d decided to eat his lunch on the terrace because it would be quieter out there. He knew that he’d been far too sharp with her when he’d got back to the hospital but he’d had his reasons.
He’d bumped into Mike Gerard, his opposite number from the Royal, as he had been leaving the tunnel, and in the course of their conversation Mike had mentioned that he knew Rose. Apparently she had worked at the Royal before she had started to do agency work.
It had been too good an opportunity to miss; Owen hadn’t been able to resist finding out more about her. Although Mike had been highly complimentary about her nursing skills, he had been less enthusiastic about her personally. After a little careful probing, Owen had discovered that she had gained a reputation for walking away after she had ditched one of his friend’s colleagues. According to Mike, she had a problem when it came to commitment and it had been the last thing he’d wanted to hear when he was already so concerned about her letting Daniel down.
Now he wasn’t sure what angered him most—the fact that she of all people had had the temerity to criticise his behaviour, or that her assessment had been so accurate. He did blame himself for not being able to do more for Laura, and it stung to know how accurately Rose had summed him up.
‘When I need psychoanalysing, I shall get professional help,’ he said, his voice grating with anger. He saw the shock on her face when she swung round, but it was of little consolation. ‘In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you kept your opinions to yourself, Ms Tremayne. My private life is not open for discussion.’
He spun round on his heel, forgetting that he’d been about to sit down and eat his lunch. It was only when he reached the door and realised he had the tray in his hands that he remembered. Stacking the tray in the rack, he strode out of the canteen, wondering if he had ever felt so angry before. The thought of Rose sitting there, talking about him like that, was more than he could stand.
‘Wait!’
He didn’t pause when he heard her calling to him, didn’t even glance round. He’d seen and heard more than enough for one day and the best thing she could do now was to leave him alone.
‘I’m sorry, Owen. Really I am.’
The plea in her voice made him hesitate and she took advantage of the fact. She ran the last couple of yards and stopped in front of him. Owen felt a little pang of regret shoot through him when he saw the anguish on her face, but he snuffed it out. She wasn’t going to get round him that easily!
‘I never meant to upset you. Rob and I were just chatting—’
‘About me.’ He laughed shortly. ‘Yes, I heard what you said.’
‘I know, and I’m sorry because I never meant to…well, hurt you.’ She laid her hand on his arm and he stiffened when he felt her fingers gripping his flesh. It was all he could do not to snatch his arm away, but that would have been far too revealing.
‘I am not upset,’ he said, coldly enunciating every word. ‘I’m angry because you seem to think that you have the right to meddle in my affairs.’
‘I don’t! Why won’t you ever listen to what I’m saying? Why do you always think the worst of me?’
‘Because you’ve given me no reason to think anything good.’
He shrugged off her hand, past caring how she might interpret the action. It didn’t matter what she thought; it only mattered that he removed her hand before it caused any more damage. Even now he could feel ripples of sensation spreading from the point where her fingers had rested, hot little flurries that were filtering into his body like miniature earthquakes. He could feel the shock waves rolling outwards and downwards until his whole being seemed to be suffused with sensation and it was the last thing he needed, the final straw. He didn’t want her anywhere near him!
He brushed past her and went to the lift, praying that she would have the sense not to follow him. For two long years he’d held himself together, yet all of a sudden it seemed as though everything was caving in on him. He should have done more to help Laura! He should have tried harder to persuade her to tell Daniel the truth! He should have seen how devastated his son had been and done more to help him, too! He had failed both Laura and Daniel, so what kind of a man must he be when he couldn’t protect the two people he loved
most in the whole world?
Pain washed through him as he stepped into the lift, but he deserved it and more. He stabbed his finger on a button and waited for the doors to close, wishing that he could close his mind to this agony he felt. Oh, he’d done a good job of pretending that he was fine in the past couple of years—most people had believed him, too. But he hadn’t been able to hide the truth from Rose, had he…?
‘Please! You must listen to me.’
Owen flinched when Rose slid into the lift before the doors closed. He pressed the stop button but it was too late—they were already moving. He glared at her. ‘I don’t know what you hope to achieve by this—’
‘I just want to say I’m sorry! For heaven’s sake, Owen, I’m not some kind of monster.’ She glared back at him, her blue eyes staring directly into his. He could see the anger they held but it was mixed with regret, and maybe it was that which made him do what he did next.
Reaching out, he hauled her into his arms and kissed her. It was the briefest, fiercest kiss imaginable, yet none the less potent because of that. He groaned when his senses suddenly ran wild. All he could think about was how soft her lips were, how sweet her breath tasted, how silky smooth her skin felt. And when she gave a tiny helpless murmur and kissed him back he was completely overwhelmed.
The lift stopped with a jolt that brought him back to his senses. He just had time to push her away before the doors sprang open. Rose swung round and walked out of the lift without a word, and he followed her because there was nothing else he could do. He couldn’t stay in there, hiding away from what he’d done, couldn’t pretend it hadn’t happened, couldn’t even blame her. He was responsible for his own actions. He had kissed her because he had wanted to. And his punishment was to be left wondering why she had kissed him back.
Rose had no idea how she got through the rest of the day. She seemed to be on autopilot, doing what was asked of her without conscious thought. What had happened in the lift had turned her world upside down. The fact that Owen had kissed her had been shocking enough, but it was the fact that she’d kissed him back which really scared her.
He’d made no secret of his dislike for her, yet she couldn’t deny that she was attracted to him. It made her see how dangerous the situation was becoming. She couldn’t afford to make any mistakes when they could have an impact on her relationship with Daniel.
She signed her worksheet then went to fetch her coat, wondering if she should contact the agency and ask them to find a replacement for her. Working at St Anne’s was going to be very stressful after what had happened and she wasn’t sure if she was up to dealing with the repercussions.
It would be easier if she left, yet she was loath to let Owen think she was leaving because of what had happened. They were bound to meet again if she saw Daniel on a regular basis, and she hated to imagine how awkward it would be with the memory of that kiss hanging over them. Maybe it would be better if she tried to forget about it. It shouldn’t be too hard because she doubted if Owen would mention it again. The easiest solution might be to blot it out of her mind…if she could.
Saturday dawned, clear and bright. Rose was up before seven and showered and dressed before she went into the kitchen to make herself some breakfast. She made a pot of tea and some toast but her appetite seemed to have deserted her. She kept thinking about what was going to happen when she met Daniel. Would she recognise him?
She’d never thought to ask him to send her a photograph of himself and couldn’t bear to think that she might not know who he was. Maybe she should have arranged to carry something to make the process easier—a rolled-up newspaper or an umbrella—anything at all that would have singled her out from the crowd. She was on the verge of telephoning him to suggest it when it struck her that Owen might answer, and she really didn’t want to speak to him when she was already so nervous.
By the time she left her flat she’d worked herself up into such a state that she could barely think straight. Fortunately, the bus was on time for once and it didn’t take very long to get to Hyde Park. Rose made her way straight to the Serpentine. There were a lot of people in the park, and she had to weave her way through all the skaters and joggers, but she finally reached the café where she’d arranged to meet Daniel.
She was ten minutes early, so she found a bench and sat down, hoping she would spot him amongst the crowd. Owen had never said anything about what the boy looked like, so she had no idea if Daniel resembled her. He’d had blond hair when he was born and blue eyes, too, but that could have changed…
Her breath caught when she saw him walking towards her. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind about who he was as she rose unsteadily to her feet. His hair was the same honey-gold colour as hers was, and as he came closer she could see that his eyes were exactly the same shade of blue.
When he stopped in front of her, she saw myriad expressions cross his face, and knew he could see the same expressions on hers. This was her child, her son, the baby she had given away eighteen years ago, and for a second she wasn’t sure what to do—before instinct took over.
Stepping forward, Rose put her arms around him and hugged him, held him tightly against her heart as she’d longed to do so many times over the years. No matter what happened from this point on she would have this moment to cherish: her son was back in her arms, where he should always have been.
CHAPTER EIGHT
OWEN felt a lump come to his throat as he watched Rose hugging his son. He couldn’t remember seeing such a wealth of emotion on anyone’s face before. He had tried not to think about how she might feel when she met Daniel, but it was impossible to ignore how much this meeting meant to her. Just for a second he tried to imagine how he would feel if he were in her place—meeting his child for the first time in years—but it was too painful.
He turned away, suddenly feeling as though he was intruding on a private moment that had nothing to do with him. It had been Daniel’s idea that he should come along. The boy had been very nervous at the thought of meeting Rose and had begged him to go with him, otherwise he wouldn’t have been there. However, he doubted if Daniel or Rose needed him now, and the thought filled him with an overpowering sense of loneliness.
‘Dad, wait!’
Owen stopped when he heard Daniel shouting to him. He turned around, seeing the surprise on Rose’s face. Obviously it had never occurred to her that he might turn up for this meeting, and he could tell that she wasn’t thrilled to see him. He couldn’t blame her, of course—not after what had happened in the lift the other day.
Heat flowed through him and he had to make a conscious effort not to betray his feelings as Daniel came hurrying over to him. He’d tried his best to forget about that kiss, but far too many times he’d found himself remembering how sweet her lips had tasted. He might not trust Rose, but he had enjoyed kissing her and there was no point pretending otherwise. It made it doubly difficult to appear in control of himself when Daniel reached him.
‘Don’t you want to meet Rose?’ the boy asked, obviously puzzled by his apparent lack of interest.
‘I didn’t want to intrude,’ he explained, wondering if he should have told Daniel that he’d already met her. It had seemed too complicated at first, but he would hate Daniel to think he’d been withholding information, especially when he had no idea what Rose might say.
‘Of course you’re not intruding!’ Daniel declared fiercely. ‘Look, at least come and say hello. Then Rose and I can go and have a chat, and meet up with you later.’
‘If you’re sure?’
Owen did his best to disguise his lack of enthusiasm but there was little he could do apart from refuse to meet her, and that would have complicated matters even more. He followed Daniel back to where Rose was waiting, trying not to notice how pretty she looked that day. Jeans and a soft lemon-yellow sweater made the most of her slender figure, emphasising the length of her legs and the neat curve of her waist. She’d tied her blonde hair back into a ponytail and she looked far too y
oung to be the mother of an eighteen-year-old son.
‘Rose, this is my dad: Owen Gallagher.’
‘We’ve already met.’ Rose smiled coolly as she held out her hand. ‘I’m a nurse, you see, and I’ve been working at St Anne’s for the past week.’
‘Really? Wow!’ Daniel turned to him in delight. ‘I can’t believe that you two know each other. How cool is that?’
‘It’s a small world,’ Owen replied evenly, taking her outstretched hand. Her fingers curled around his for a second before she withdrew them, but it was long enough to set off a whole chain of reactions.
Owen let his hand fall to his side. His palm felt hot, as though his skin had been scorched by the fleeting contact with hers. Even his fingertips felt warm and kind of tingly. He ran his hand down the seam of his trousers but the sensations didn’t go away. It was as though just by touching him Rose had left her mark on him for ever.
The thought alarmed him, because there was no way that he wanted to feel this way. He turned to Daniel, hoping his son couldn’t tell how on edge he was feeling. ‘I’m going to make myself scarce now. How about we meet up back here at one o’clock—would that be OK?’
‘I should think so.’ Daniel looked uncertainly at Rose. ‘You don’t have to spend that much time with me if you don’t want to, of course. You might have things to do…’
‘There’s nothing I want more than to spend some time with you, Daniel,’ she said softly.
‘Great!’ Daniel’s face broke into a wide smile. ‘It will give us a chance to get to know one another.’
‘I’ll see you later, then.’ Owen turned away because he couldn’t bear to see him looking so excited. Daniel was so very vulnerable and he was terrified that he would get hurt.
He made his way back along the path, wondering how he was going to fill in the time until he could go back and meet him. Just the thought of what might happen in the interim almost tore him in two, but he had to hope that Rose had meant what she’d said about not doing anything to hurt their son.
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