No Longer Needed

by Brenda Grate

  Emma laughed. “Don’t worry. I don’t take long to pack.”

  “You don’t?” Connie looked suspicious, as though Emma had just betrayed an entire generation of women.

  “It’s Greece. I won’t need much. I’ll be on the beach, so I need a few swim suits, or I’ll buy some there. And I need a sarong or two and some sandals.”

  “What about makeup? And an evening gown in case you meet some gorgeous Greek hunk? And heels to go with the gown and a wrap in case it gets chilly …”

  Emma held up a hand. “Would you like to help me pack? It sounds like you know way more about it than I do.”

  Connie giggled. “Sorry, I get way too crazy about packing and usually take three times as much as I need.” She quirked an eyebrow at Emma. “As does every other woman I know.”

  “I got over all that when I had to think about diapers, bottles, formula, wet wipes …”

  Connie leaned over the coffee table and clinked her tea mug with Emma’s. “Touché, my friend.”

  Emma’d been feeling frantic all day, but had mellowed, like she could sink into the armchair and never get out. Connie always had that effect on her. She didn’t understand why, considering Connie had more energy than five people, but she also had a confident, relaxed aura even when she was racing around the kitchen filling orders and organizing everything. She had a way of taking charge of a situation that allowed Emma to let go.

  “I’ve talked enough about me,” Emma said. “What’s going on with you?”

  Connie looked up at the ceiling. “Not much.”

  “Come on, there’s something you want to tell me.”

  Connie dropped her gaze and looked at Emma. “You’re right, there is. I don’t know what to do, Em.”

  “About what?” Emma rested her tea on her leg and gave Connie her full attention.

  “It’s Rick.”

  “Rick? What? Are you having trouble with him at work?”

  Connie laughed. She set her mug on the table and pulled the elastic from her hair, allowing it to fall around her face. “Not trouble in the way you mean.”

  “What kind of trouble, then?” Emma paused. “Oh, no. Have you two started up again?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “How can you not exactly have started up again?”

  Connie blew out a breath, her hair fanning around her face. “Okay, I guess it has to be exactly since we had sex.”

  Emma gasped, then grinned. “Good for you.” She lifted her mug in a toast.

  “Good for me? I’m not supposed to be having sex with him after I broke up with him.”

  “Supposed to? Who says?”

  “I say,” Connie shot back. “He’s wrong for me and I don’t want to hurt him again. He has feelings for me and if I keep falling into bed, or on the desk with him, I’m going to keep stringing him along, and that’s not fair.”

  “The desk? You had sex on your desk?”

  Connie blushed and dropped her head. “I was having a bad day.”

  “I’ll bet it got remarkably better afterward.”

  Connie let out a bark of a laugh. “Emma?”

  “What?”

  “You shouldn’t be condoning this.”

  “Why? At least one of us is having sex. You have it for me and I’ll live vicariously through you.”

  Connie sobered. “Emma, that’s not funny. You should be having sex, too.”

  “If I had a hottie like Rick around who couldn’t keep his hands off me, then maybe I would be. Since I don’t, I guess I’ll just have to go to Greece and find one.”

  “That’s a good idea.” Connie smiled, but still looked concerned.

  Emma changed the subject. “So, what are you going to do about Rick? Are you sure you don’t have feelings for him? I’d say you just might, considering you can’t resist him.”

  “It’s just sex, Em.”

  “Oh, Con, is it ever just sex?”

  Connie didn’t respond.

  Emma set her mug on the coffee table. “Well,” she said, getting to her feet. “It’s time for me to head home. I’ve already ruined your bath, and I don’t want to keep you up when you have work tomorrow.”

  “I’m glad you came over. Get some sleep and let me know about your trip. I’m determined to come, but I’ll let you pack on your own.”

  Emma pulled Connie into a warm hug and headed for the door.

  “Thanks for all your support,” she said, as Connie opened the door for her. “I love you, you know.”

  “I know. I love you, too.” Connie kissed her cheek and waved as Emma walked to her car.

  Emma’s phone buzzed in her bag just as she unlocked her car. She wondered who’d be calling her so late at night.

  She pulled it out as she settled into the seat. The display showed she’d missed five calls from Crispin.

  She had been trying to get a hold of him for hours before she showed up at Connie’s place, and now that he’d called, she was reluctant to confirm her suspicions. She asked herself why, but already knew the answer. She’d begun to have feelings for him and didn’t want to find out he was exactly like all the lawyers she’d ever known—an underhanded liar. No matter his intentions, it didn’t negate what he’d done. If he’d done it.

  She put the phone back in her bag and drove home.

  She’d call him tomorrow.

  After she’d packed for her trip.

  Chapter 21

  A buzzing brought Emma to the surface. She rolled over onto her iPhone and groaned. She struggled to pull it out from underneath her and squinted at the screen.

  Crispin.

  She hesitated and it stopped buzzing.

  Coffee called her. She staggered to her feet and made her way to the kitchen. She felt like she hadn’t slept at all.

  Coffee first. Crispin after.

  Emma sat at the kitchen table, iPhone in one hand, coffee cup in the other. She had just formulated her thoughts when the phone buzzed in her hand. She nearly dropped it into her coffee.

  I’m entirely too jumpy this morning.

  She slid the button on the screen to answer Jen’s call.

  “Hi, darling.”

  “Morning, Mom,” Jen said. “I need to know the details of our flight. I have to arrange it with school.” She sounded friendly and upbeat.

  Is this really my Jen?

  “We fly on the fourth, two days from now. I hope that’s not too soon.”

  “No, it’s perfect. Are we driving down in your car?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, I’ll stay overnight on the third and we’ll leave in the morning.”

  “Great. I’m really looking forward to spending some time with you, Jen.”

  “Yeah. Okay, I have to run. I’ll see you soon.”

  Jen hung up before Emma could respond. She stared at her phone for a few moments, wondering what was going on with her daughter. She really wished Jen would open up and be real with her. Maybe the trip would be the thing that finally allowed them to bond.

  Emma jolted when the phone rang again. She’d hardly recovered from Jen’s call and now it was Crispin. She answered, her stomach a mass of nerves.

  “Hello, Crispin. How are you?”

  “Worried. Where have you been?”

  “Um … I’ve been trying to get in touch with you—”

  “I know,” he broke in. “I was busy all evening with a case and had my phone turned off. When I turned it back on, I saw your calls and tried to catch you, but couldn’t get you until now.”

  A case? That late?

  “I see,” was all Emma said.

  “What do you need? Is everything okay?”

  Emma squeezed her eyes shut and tried to hold back the emotion. She realized now more than ever how much she was drawn to this man. And if what she suspected was true, there was no chance for them.

  “I met with Alan after the discussion at his lawyer’s office.”

  “Oh, really? What did he want?” Crispin’s voice seemed ca
refully neutral.

  “He informed me that he is dying of cancer.”

  “What?” Crispin gasped the word, and yet didn’t sound shocked.

  Emma’s stomach sank. There was no longer any doubt in her mind.

  She cleared her throat. “Crispin, I’m only going to ask you once and if you lie to me, I will never be able to speak to you again. Did you phone Alan, or have the call arranged to tell him that he was dying of cancer?”

  “Yes.”

  Emma was so shocked at his forthrightness, she couldn’t speak. Her mouth opened and closed as she struggled on what to say.

  “Yes, I did,” Crispin added, “and I would do it a thousand times more to help you out, Emma. He deserved it and so much more.”

  Emma snapped out of her stupor. “Didn’t you think of the consequences? What if he told our children? How do you think it would affect them?”

  “I knew he’d find out the truth soon enough and everyone would be so relieved they wouldn’t worry about it. I got what I wanted for you and that was enough.”

  “What you did is illegal. You could be disbarred. Did you think about that?”

  “Yes, of course I did. I don’t do anything without full consideration. I knew Alan would never give in on the divorce agreement and we’d have a fight on our hands that could span years. I knew you’d be so worn out by it that you’d probably quit fighting and give him everything. I’ve seen it a hundred plus times, Emma. I’ve seen so much that it sickens me to think of you going through all that. I didn’t want that for you. So, I risked my career and a lot more, including your respect, to save you from all that.”

  Emma didn’t know what to say. She tapped her foot in anger. But a part of her couldn’t believe anyone would risk so much for her happiness. Although she couldn’t let it go. If he was capable of something so sinister, what else might he do?

  “Whatever the reasons are, it was wrong. I can’t trust you. I’m going to have to tell Alan the truth—”

  “No! You can’t do that until he’s signed the agreement. Whether you agree with me or not, Emma, at least don’t let it be for nothing. Don’t let me throw away everything I’ve worked for for nothing.”

  “You made that decision when you lied to Alan. He’s going to sue you when he finds out.”

  “He has no proof, Emma. I made sure of that.” Crispin’s voice was quiet. “Are you going to tell him it was me?”

  Emma considered it. “No, I won’t. All I’ll do is encourage him to get a second opinion.” She paused. “I won’t say anything until after he signs the agreement. I guess that makes me as bad as you.”

  Emma disconnected, put her head down on the table and cried.

  Chapter 22

  The smell of flowers filled Jen’s nose as she stepped up to Dimitri’s front door. She glanced around, but couldn’t see much in the dark. She’d asked if she could come over because she needed to talk. He’d agreed, but sounded reserved.

  Probably what every man fears hearing a woman say.

  He had no idea she’d come to say goodbye, not take the relationship—if you could even call it one—to the next level.

  She hesitated, her knuckles only inches from the door. Her stomach was a mess of nerves, which she didn’t understand. Nothing about her reactions since she’d met Dimitri were familiar to her. Giving herself a mental shake, she forced her hand down hard on the door. It opened so quickly she stepped back.

  Dimitri’s grin flashed at her. “Hey sexy lady. Come in.” He took her hand and pulled her inside.

  “Would you like a glass of wine?” he asked.

  Jen sat on the sofa. “Yes, please.”

  “I’m so glad you called,” Dimitri said over his shoulder as he stepped into the kitchen. “I was going to call you today and ask if you’d like to go to a movie. I’ve been so busy this week with work, but I’m definitely ready to relax with my favorite person.”

  How can he say that? He doesn’t know me.

  Her personality caused a variety of reactions in people, but acceptance was never one of them. Everyone was either running from her, frozen in place, or trying to change her.

  Dimitri acted like he actually liked her.

  “Jen?”

  She looked up to see a wine glass in her face. She hadn’t seen him enter the room. She grabbed it, nearly sloshing the contents into her lap.

  “Careful there,” he said, steadying her hand.

  At his touch, Jen nearly started again.

  I need to freakin’ relax!

  Dimitri sat on the couch beside her, placing his drink on the coffee table before he turned to her.

  “How was your day?” he asked.

  Jen fumbled to think what she’d done. “Um … Oh, I took my corporate law exam.”

  “Wow, sounds tough. I bet you got a hundred percent.”

  Jen laughed, relaxing a little. “Probably not. I’m sure I did well. I studied hard enough, but no, I don’t know of anyone who could get a hundred on that exam. I won’t know for a while, though.”

  “They make you wait for your score?”

  Jen let out a big sigh and rolled her eyes. “Oh yes, they make you wait, gnawing your nails, until they decide to put you out of your misery.”

  Dimitri picked up one of Jen’s hands. He examined her nails, bitten to the quick. “Yep, I can see that.” He dropped her hand back into her lap, giving her a cheeky grin.

  Embarrassed, she clenched her hands into fists.

  “Hey. I like your hands that way. They’re Jen’s hands. No other hands are so perfect.”

  She stared at him.

  “What?”

  “Why are you like this?”

  “Like what?”

  “So nice to me. So accepting of everything.”

  “Oh, that.” He smiled and ran a finger down the side of her face. “I like you. A lot. So how can I not like something about you? There’s either like or not like, nothing in between. You have to take the whole package.”

  Mystified, Jen shook her head and narrowed her eyes. “I still don’t get it. I’ve never met anyone that way before. Did you have a really great family that never criticized you?”

  Dimitri threw back his head and laughed. It was a few moments before he could get himself under control. He wiped his eyes. “You are so great. How could I not enjoy you?”

  “Why is that funny?”

  “Jennifer, my family is Greek.”

  “Yes, so?”

  “So, I was constantly criticized. ‘Sit up straight, Dimitri. Eat all your food, Dimitri. You’re always so filthy, Dimitri. Your Greek is terrible, Dimitri.’ But I never doubted my family loved me passionately.”

  “How is that possible? Didn’t you feel horrible when they pushed you all the time?”

  He thought for a moment, then shrugged. “No, I didn’t. I knew they did it because they love me and want the best for me. There were just as many hugs as there were cuffs on the head. Maybe more.”

  “Your parents hit you?” Jen gasped.

  Dimitri grinned. “I needed it. Can you imagine the man I’d be if they didn’t beat me?” He dropped his head in mock horror. “Yes, they hit me, but never when I didn’t deserve it.”

  “Wow.” Jen didn’t know what else to say. Here was a man who’d been criticized by his parents, even hit, yet he felt loved and had confidence in himself. She’d never been hit by her parents, hadn’t even been overly criticized and yet she struggled constantly with feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. She couldn’t remember feeling loved. Her mother loved her, but it felt hollow. Like if her mother really loved her, wouldn’t she stand up to her daughter? Make her know she was loved because she wouldn’t let her get away with disrespect?

  “You don’t think your parents love you?” Dimitri’s voice was soft, full of compassion.

  “Yes, I do. I know they do. But I know it in my head. My heart doesn’t seem to believe it.”

  It was Dimitri’s turn to be mystified. “I’m sorry.
Everyone deserves to know their parents love them. Otherwise, how can they love themselves?”

  Jen felt pinned to the sofa by his words. She knew in her heart that he’d uncovered the root of all her issues. She didn’t love herself because she didn’t believe the people who should love her more than anyone actually, truly loved her.

  I’m pathetic.

  There was nothing Jen hated more than feeling pathetic.

  Dimitri scooted closer and pulled Jen into his arms. She tried resisting, but felt herself drawn into his comforting aura. His muscled arms made her feel small and feminine, something Jen had never experienced before. She towered over most people. If she found a guy to date who was taller than her, she felt lucky. But, she’d never been with a man who was so male before.

  She turned her face into his neck and breathed in his scent, spicy and sexy.

  Dimitri burrowed his face in her hair and moaned. He pulled her closer until she sat on his lap, completely engulfed in him. She’d never felt so safe before. Every cell in her body wanted nothing more than to set up camp right there and never leave. She forced herself back and slid off his lap.

  Dimitri’s black eyes smoldered like coal. She knew he wanted her, but she was no longer interested in getting the upper hand by seducing him. There was no upper hand with him. If she wanted it, he’d give it to her, but even then, it wouldn’t satisfy her. Jen knew the way to Dimitri, the road laid out in front of her was filled with pitfalls and traps. She wouldn’t be able to keep her distance. He’d demand from her things she knew she wasn’t willing to give.

  “Jen? What’s wrong?”

  She got to her feet, even though her legs shook. She hung on to the back of the sofa, desperate to put some distance between them.

  “Nothing’s wrong.”

  He didn’t say anything, just waited for her to be honest.

  “I … I came over to tell you something. If I don’t now, I won’t remember to.”

  Dimitri sat back against the arm of the sofa to better see her. He adjusted his pants and Jen saw with a hollow feeling the effect she’d had on him. She wished to go back to where they’d left off, but she knew she’d be trapped if she did.