“This has been a hard time for you, you need to get away for awhile, go someplace to relax. Now, let’s get your things together, I’ve booked a flight to Rome for us, the plane leaves in a few hours. And don’t argue, let me take care of you and comfort you, like you deserve.”
Aisha put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot, and he knew she was pissed.
“You’re not taking me anywhere. Besides, don’t you think your wife may have issues with that? Giving me comfort? Isn’t that what you were doing for her while I was married to you?”
Despite himself Ben snickered, and immediately clamped a hand over his mouth, much like his wife had done earlier.
Her attention diverted, Aisha looked in his direction and smiled as she saw him, Helen, and Megan shrink back. They really need to work on their eavesdropping skills…she thought.
Turning back to Max, she sighed. “Look, I made Jenny a promise to stay with the kids, here, and to help Connell .”
Max’s eyes grew wide and he shook his head in disbelief, then looked around the house as if he was standing in the middle of a pig pen. “You can’t be serious! What about your life, and your work, darling? You’ll never survive here. I know you, you need excitement and adventure, it’s what you live for. What, am I supposed to believe that all of a sudden you’re content to play the role of “Betty Chicken,” and live happily ever after in this cornbread nightmare? No darling, this is not your life.” he guffawed, clearly agitated. But when he saw the look of determination, the look of resolution on her lovely face, he took a calming breath, took her hand, and pulled her close to him.
Gently, he raised her hands to his lips and kissed them lightly, a gesture that had once upon a time sent shivers of delight coursing through her vibrant young body. “Would it help if I tell you I’m divorcing Danielle?“ he said, letting the words hang.
Aisha shook her head and freed herself from his grasp, saying, “Max, you know you and I…well…it just isn’t possible. I‘m sorry, but you made your decision a long time ago.”
She almost felt sorry for him as she saw his face sag, and had to remind herself that she had loved him and trusted him at one time, and he had shattered that bond of his own choosing.
Max was unable to hide his disappointment, because despite what his ex- wife thought, she was the first woman he had ever loved, and still did. Over the years he had grown to realize that leaving her was the result of reckless and foolish youth. It saddened him that she had no place in her life for him anymore.
Trying to maintain his composure, he leaned down and tenderly kissed her full lips, hoping desperately that it would spark old feelings, old memories. She remained motionless however, not even bothering to look him in the eyes. “Well, when you get tired of this,” he said, gesturing at her surroundings with his hands, “give me a call.”
Giving her a small, sad smile, he turned and left.
Aisha watched him go, and to her surprise, felt a slight pang of regret. But deep down inside she knew it was a phone call she would never make.
****************************************************************
Sprawled out on the messy, smelly comforter on top of the mattress, Connell took another slug of Jack Daniels straight from the bottle, belched, grabbed the remote control on the nightstand, and began flipping through various television channels listlessly.
He was truly a sight to behold. Scraggly beard, mussed-up, oily hair, and clothes that hadn’t seen the inside of a washing machine for at least a week. It had been several months since Jenny’s funeral, and with the exception of one foray into town where he had purchased an entire case of liquor, he had shut the world out, completely. He was barely coherent enough to know Aisha was running the farm with the help of a young man she had hired, Jonus Thompson. At least that’s what he thought the man’s name was. The name seemed vaguely familiar, but his memory was pretty hazy these days.
A knock on the door made him flinch, and he answered in a slurred voice, “Whaaa? Whooozzzattt?”
“Connell, I need your help, the taxes on the farm are overdue. I told you a week ago, remember? If you come down we can do it together, before I go out to the barns to clean up.” Aisha’s strained voice came through the door.
He sat upright, wobbled a bit, and started to say something, but momentarily lost his train of thought.
“Connell! Open the door!” Aisha’s voice beckoned.
Oh yeah, HER…he thought in a haze. “Goway! Lemmee handle it when I’m good and retty!” he yelled drunkenly, then belched once more and flopped back down on the ripe pillows.
Fuming, Aisha stomped down the stairs, hoping the noise irritated the fool enough to rouse him from his drunken stupor.
When she reached the bottom of the steps she saw Abby sitting there, holding a picture of her mother. The last few weeks had been a living hell in the house, and Aisha had noticed that whenever the child wasn’t crying, she was angry and defiant. Shawn seemed to be happy in his playpen for the moment, so she decided to leave them to their own devices while she took care of the bills.
Grabbing her checkbook out of her purse, she snatched the bills from the kitchen counter, then went to the kitchen table and sat down. Angrily, she began ripping the envelopes open. It wasn’t just the tax bill Connell had been neglecting for several months, it was all of his responsibilities. She herself had been buying groceries, feed for the livestock, paying the utilities, the house note, land note, the extra help to run the place, everything. Even Jenny’s last few medical bills, home-nursing care, medication, etc. But then again, most of Jenny and Connell’s savings had been spent on previous medical expenses, and her funeral.
From looking at the books she knew the farm was doing Ok as far as churning out income, the problem was that none of it could be accessed by her or anyone else, except Connell. Every bit of livestock that was sold, the checks were always made out in his name. In vain she had pleaded with various merchants, explaining her situation, but they had all apologized profusely, telling her that unless she or anyone else had Power-Of-Attorney for him, their hands were tied. Cash was out of the question, as they didn’t want to be held liable if Connell ever decided to make a big issue of it being done without his consent.
So here she was.
Still fuming, she wondered why she was going through all the trouble. She had tried her best to honor her friend’s wish, but felt she was fighting a losing battle. Never in her life had she experienced such feelings of helplessness and defeat.
After filling out the checks, she sealed the envelopes, put stamps on them, then went to the playpen and picked up Shawn. “Let’s get these in the mail, then we’ll go shopping,” she said as she planted a wet smooch on his rosy cheek
His arms and legs kicking and waving in innocent delight, the infant squealed and gave her a huge grin, showing off his new tooth.
Grabbing the keys to her Ford Explorer she called for Abby, and they went outside and buckled Shawn into the car seat.
“Daddy’s still not going with us?“ Abby asked listlessly.
“No honey, not yet.“ she sighed as she got behind the wheel and turned the ignition. “Maybe next time, darlin” she said as they pulled out and left Connell behind in his own world.
****************************************************
“Abby, no more junk food.” Aisha said as she took the candy out of the cart and placed it back on the shelf. She was growing tired of the little girl’s tantrums, she had never seen her so blatantly disrespectful before.
Abby glared up at her defiantly, her gray eyes narrowed, and she calmly picked the Snickers bar back up and placed it in the cart.
Not in the mood to make a scene, she pushed the cart towards the baby aisle. Two older women were blocking the aisle, talking, and didn’t notice her approach.
“I declare! Can you believe it? Connell would make a fine catch for any good white girl from here, his father is probably rolling in his grave, right now, being the
strong and righteous man he was. I always have said Megan didn’t have a tight enough reign on him, and now look at him! That’s why my Humphrey is still living with me. I told him he may be forty, but he isn’t leaving home until I find him a good Christian girl to marry.”
The second old lady patted her over-teased beehive blue hair, and shook her head primly. “It is a shame! His wife’s not cold in her grave yet and he’s living in sin with that colored girl. And to think, I had thought about setting him up with my granddaughter Tina, when I first found about Jenny‘s illness. It was bad enough when he married Jenny, her being an outsider and all, now he has taken up with that colored girl. I tell you, it’s all that MTV trash that’s corrupting young men and young ladies these days! Why, they even have men kissing other men right there for the world to see! I’m telling you, if we want our children like they were when we were young mothers, we need to outlaw all this evil music and television programming. And stick with our own kind, too! That’s what happened to Connell, going off to that fancy college and mixing with all those kids from God knows where. What a shame, a good man lost to us!”
Aisha had heard enough, and her frustration finally spilled over. She slammed her cart into one of the old lady’s carts, causing both of them to yelp and stumble backwards. Spinning around to face her, both of their mouths dropped open.
Glaring at both of them, she spoke in a voice so cold it chilled them to the bone and shocked them into silence. “First of all, I’m not colored! Second, if you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, keep your God damn mouths shut! You talk about decency and morals, then have the nerve to look down your noses at other people and talk about them like they’re nothing more than animals? You’re nothing more than hypocritical, stuck-up, bitter old bitches!”
“Well…” the elder of the two huffed as they both grabbed their buggies and scuttled off, looking over their shoulders fearfully.
“You said bad words.” Abby said as she looked up at Aisha.
“Yes, I did. And you know what? It felt good.” she replied, glancing down at the little girl with a defiant look of her own.
“Can I say bad words when I’m mad, so it can make me feel better too?” she asked innocently.
Aisha groaned, realizing the compromising position she had put herself in. I’m really not cut out to be a parent..she thought with grim amusement. “No, young lady, you cannot!” she replied, unable to think of a good explanation on such short notice.
“Why do you get say something to feel better, but I can’t?”
“Because..because, I’m an adult, and you’re a child.” she said in desperation.
But Abby let her off the hook with a little negotiating. “Will you get me a happy meal? Then I can be happy and not mad, and I won’t need to say any bad words,” she said.
Chuckling in relief, Aisha said, “Sure thing, honey.”
**************************************************
Arriving home, Aisha pulled her Explorer along side Connell’s Dodge Ram, and frowned briefly. She was wondering what his truck was doing out here, as it had been parked inside the barn earlier.
Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, she looked around and saw Ben and Helen rising from two rocking chairs on the porch.
Oh, Connell must have roused himself out of bed long enough to let Ben and Helen use the truck….she thought as she waved to both of them.
Getting out and grabbing Shawn out of the car seat she said, “Hey you two, what‘s up? Have you been waiting long?”
Abby darted around her with her happy meal and sat on the porch steps, looking at her toy prize.
Awkwardly, Ben cleared his throat. “We came to talk to you. Something happened while you were in town.”
Helen reached for Shawn as Aisha gave Ben a questioning look. Handing the infant to her, she said, “Yeah…..?”
Impatient with her husband’s pussyfooting around, Helen said, “For Christ sake, just spit it out Ben!“ She knew her husband wanted to protect his friend, but Connell’s drinking was beginning to bother her, for his sake. Her own father had lost everything he had had to a bottle, and she didn’t want the same thing to happen to such a close friend.
“Well, he..he came storming over to the house looking for you, cussing up a storm about bills that you had paid, he had a wad of papers in his hand. I think it was empty envelopes or something. But the worst part was that he had been…well..you know, drinking and driving. We got him calmed down a bit and brought him back here. He went upstairs and locked himself in his room again.”
“God Dammit, that’s it, I”VE HAD IT!!!” Aisha raged. Turning to Helen she said, “Can you take the kids to your house for a little while?“ And Ben, would you stay, please?” she said, turning to face him.
“But I don’t wanna’ go, I want to stay here and see daddy! You NEVER let me see him anymore! And you said bad words again!” Abby yelled, then stomped her foot.
Aisha turned and faced the girl with hellfire and brimstone in her eyes. Pointing a finger at her she spoke in a deceptively quiet voice. “Young lady, you get your tail in that truck..” she said, pointing to the Dodge, “ or I PROMISE YOU I will paddle your butt so hard you won’t be able to sit for a week, I MEAN IT!.” she finished with a shout.
Abby halted mid-tantrum, not used to Aisha speaking to her in such a manner. Scampering fearfully towards the truck, she hid behind one of the massive rear wheels and peeked at her ’aunt’ cautiously.
Aisha waited until Helen had loaded both of the children up and left, before going inside the house.
Stepping inside, her mouth fell open in shock. The kitchen looked like a wrecking crew had gone through it. The table had been smashed, broken in several pieces. Looking around, papers were scattered everywhere, pictures were torn off the walls and the frames smashed. The only thing left intact was Shawn’s playpen.
“Uhmmm, I didn’t quite know how to tell you about this. It was this way already when we drove him back here from our place.” Ben said quietly. “I’ll help you get the place picked up.”
“No, leave it!” she replied grimly, then ground her teeth together audibly. Twirling around, she nearly sprinted up the stairs, all the way to Connell’s door
Ben followed suit, praying that cooler heads would prevail.
Balling her right fist tightly, she began beating on the door with righteous wrath. “CONNELL, OPEN THIS GOD DAMN DOOR!!!!” she screamed, so furious her vision was actually swimming.
“I told ya‘ to LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!“ an angry voice yelled back, sounding slightly more sober than it had earlier in the day.
Ben stood watching in tense silence, and noticed her beginning to tremble. He was no fool, and knew she was shaking with fury, damn near ready to explode. He held his hands out in a pleading gesture and said, “Maybe we should just leave him alone, for now. I can call Helen to come get you, and maybe you could get some things together and spend the night at our place? I’ll clean the mess up downstairs, don’t worry about that. He might talk to me if he knows we’re alone.” he finished, nodding towards the locked door.
She stood in silence for a moment, studying him as if considering his offer, then suddenly said, “I’ll be right back.”
Turning on her heels, she rushed down the stairs, leaving him behind, and more worried than ever.
OH SHIT, is his gun cabinet locked???? He thought, in a sudden panic. But before he could decide on a course of action he saw her coming back up the stairs, and what she was carrying, along with the maniacal look on her face, made him nearly pee himself.
She was carrying an axe. A very, very sharp axe, and he would know, because he had sharpened it himself just days before, splitting firewood for her and the kids.
Licking his suddenly dry lips, he held his hands out once more and squeaked, “Now now, honey, you don’t want to do this, don’t do something you’ll regret. Let’s just leave, we can take care of this tomorrow.”
But she w
as locked on course. Without hesitating she brushed past him, her eyes never leaving the door. She hefted the axe over her shoulder, then slowly lowered it to the floor, and took up a stance like a golfer lining up a putt.
In a panicked, last-ditch effort to diffuse the situation, Ben screamed, “Connell, you really, REALLY NEED to open the door!!!!!!”
There was no answer.
Positioning herself the way Ben had showed her, the proper way to cut down trees, she called in a sweet, singsong voice, “I take your silence as a NO!” Glancing back at Ben, she said, “Stand back dear, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.“
He jumped back as she swung the axe, landing a solid chop to the middle of the door.
“WHAT THE FUCK?” Connell yelled from inside.
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