Black Sheep

by Tabatha Vargo

“You look at me in amazement.”

  “That’s because I think you’re amazing.”

  His eyes soften, and a tiny smile tugged at the corner of his lips. His hands slid down my body, heating me from within and turning my center into liquid. And then his lips were on mine, tasting me and the shower water that dripped from our mouths.

  I worked my hands up his solid chest, feeling the rough patches that I knew were scars covered by ink, and then I linked my arms around his neck.

  He lifted me, pressing my back into the cold tile of the shower. His thick hardness pressed against me, rubbing my sensitive nub as he moved his hips slowly back and forth.

  “If I’m going to go to prison for murder, I want to feel you one more time.”

  I nodded, wrapping my legs around his waist and seeking the tip of him out until I felt it pushing against my entrance. He held back, kissing the side of my neck and teasing me past the point of insanity.

  “Tyson,” I breathed, rubbing harder against him. “Please.”

  His lips hovered over mine once again, teasing me with tiny tastes until he was kissing me harder. Then he thrust up and planted himself deep inside me. Our sighs mingled, the sensation of him buried inside me feeling much better than it had the first time.

  I controlled the urge to dig my fingernails into his back, and I held on as he took control of my body, driving himself into me in a perfect rhythm that sent me over the edge within minutes. Covering my cries with his mouth, he swallowed them, his own low moans mixing with mine.

  He whispered my name when he came and planted soft kisses on the side of my neck.

  “You’re mine,” he breathed.

  “I’ve always been yours.”

  “AND THEN WHAT happened?” I asked.

  We were lying in bed talking as we waited for the police. Tyson was sure they’d be knocking on the door any minute, but the minutes passed, and the knocks never came.

  “I just kept hitting him. It’s like I couldn’t stop.”

  I held his hand in mine and softly ran my fingers over the bandages I’d applied to his knuckles.

  “It’s okay, Tyson. We’ll take care of this. You’ll just have to tell them what happened. You’ll have to explain why you did it.”

  At that, his body went stiff.

  “I can’t. I don’t even want to think about it, much less talk about it.”

  “I know, but one day, you might. And when that day comes, know I’ll be there, holding your hand the entire time.”

  He smiled over at me, his eyes settling on mine. I moved into him, snuggling into his side as he held me and softly ran his fingertips up and down my spine. It didn’t take long until I fell asleep in his arms.

  The night remained silent, and the knocks never came, but I was woken up once in the middle of the night by Tyson, who couldn’t help but go for round two.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Tyson

  I WOKE BEFORE Nicole and watched her sleep against my chest. She looked so peaceful—so at ease—and I was glad I was able to give that to her. She gave the same to me. I just never realized it until I’d lost all control.

  After leaving the shop the night before, I went straight to her. She was the only thing that could hold me together—the only thing to keep me from splitting into a million broken pieces. I’d never been able to tell her, but inside, I knew I loved her. I loved her so much it hurt in my chest.

  The police never showed, and once the morning came and my mind was clear again, I wondered why. Part of me hoped I’d killed the fucker, but the rational side of my brain hoped he pulled through. I didn’t want to go to prison, and the only thing that would save me from that fate was telling the world the most embarrassing things about my past.

  I couldn’t do it.

  I’d never be able to put those details into the world.

  Once I found some clothes in my old closet, I dressed and left the house. I needed to get to the garage and talk to Nate. I needed to find out what happened once I left the tattoo shop. I hoped I still had a job, but if not, I’d understand. You couldn’t have unstable people working for you, and I was the most unstable person I knew.

  The ride to the garage was a long one, my nerves were out of whack and my shoulders tense. Once I pulled into the parking lot and the guys heard my loud engine, I saw through the large garage door openings as they turned my way.

  Climbing from my car, I went straight to where I knew Nate would be. And when he saw me, his eyes widened, and he stepped into the office we never used so I’d follow him.

  “You okay, man?” he asked. “I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.”

  I nodded, shutting the office door behind me so the other guys didn’t overhear our conversation.

  “I’m good. What happened after I left? I was expecting the police, but they never came.”

  He sat back in the office chair and rested his hands behind his head. “That’s because he told me not to call the cops.”

  I could hardly believe what I was hearing. The old fuck had actually woken up while he was still at the shop.

  “He woke up?”

  Nate chuckled. “I couldn’t believe it either, man. You beat the fuck out of him, and he was out for a bit, but once you left, he woke up. He asked me not to call for an ambulance or the cops, stood on his own two feet, and walked out.”

  “No fucking way,” I mumbled.

  “Way. He looked like he was seconds away from falling, but it happened. He must’ve been on some good shit.”

  He was right.

  I could remember all the things he and my father used to do. And thinking back on it, he’d seemed high at the shop as he followed me to my station. More than likely, that was what it was.

  I’d seen men so high on heroin they didn’t even realize they’d been shot. It was probably the same with him. He’d probably woken up and knew he’d gotten his ass kicked, but wanted to avoid charges because he thought I might bring up the reason why I kicked his ass.

  He didn’t know I would’ve never told anyone, and I was glad he didn’t mention it or have Nate call the police for that reason.

  “So what happened? What did he do to you?” Nate asked.

  I shook my head. “I won’t say, but he deserved much more. Trust me.”

  Nate nodded. “I trust you, but no more of that shit, man. Gill was freaking out. We can’t afford any bullshit like that.”

  “Understandable. So I still have a job?”

  He chuckled. “You’ve brought in a ton of clients, and you’re one of our best. No way are we letting you go that easily.” He stood and gripped my shoulder. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel like my skin was on fire from someone’s touch. “Plus, you’re family, man. We got your back.”

  I nodded and left the office feeling like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

  I pushed through the workday; although my aching hands from the beating I’d given Needles were a constant reminder, I tried to block out all the bad that kept rushing into my mind.

  Instead, I kept my thoughts centered on Nicole and how amazing she was. She’d taken me in, cleaned me up, and held me. I never thought we’d ever be in the place we were in, and I was glad she was there to hold me together.

  One thing was for sure—life went on. There was pain and heartache. There was sadness and joy, but no matter what, every day came and went and a new day followed.

  So I continued, spending my days working and my nights in Nicole’s arms. I barely stayed at my apartment anymore and already had clothes piling up in my old room.

  If Brian noticed anything between Nicole and me, he never mentioned it. Nicole didn’t want him to know we had a thing going on. She didn’t feel like he was ready for that kind of news.

  So we crept around. I pretended I was staying there so Nicole felt comfortable in the house and would sneak across the hallway to her bedroom every night once I knew Brian was asleep.

  I was fine with him knowing ab
out us, but I understood and respected Nicole’s wishes.

  The drinking stopped, but the nightmares remained. Every time I woke up in a sweat feeling as though the world was closing in on me, I’d find Nicole’s arms wrapped tightly around my waist, holding me to the earth.

  Things found their own flow.

  Nicole started a job waitressing at a local restaurant, Brian went to school, and I went to work. We became a family again in many ways and somehow reached our own kind of normal.

  I missed Mr. and Mrs. Palmer more than I could put into words, but if I knew anything about them, I knew they’d want me to care for their kids. I knew they would’ve wanted me to take care of them and make sure they had everything they needed. And that was exactly what I did.

  Nicole put the house up for sale, and while it sucked, I knew it made sense. She didn’t mention money problems, but Brian would tell me things. I knew she was having a hard time paying all the bills, so when I could, I’d pay one or two of them. It was just enough to take the edge off.

  She complained about me doing the yard work, so I knew if she ever found out I was paying some of the bills, she’d be pissed, but I had to take the chance. Otherwise, they would’ve had their electricity turned off at one point. I hated it, but I didn’t want to push her. I knew she was doing all she could, and the last thing I wanted to do was bring her down.

  So life went on, and a rhythm was set.

  My days at the garage.

  My afternoons at The Blind Tiger.

  And my nights in Nicole’s arms.

  But things had never been simple in my life, and I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach because my happiness was coming just a little too easily. I could feel the darkness returning. I hoped and prayed I was strong enough to fight it off when it finally came back.

  TWENTY-NINE

  Nicole

  I SCANNED MY bank account information and sighed. My college fund was quickly depleting, and although I was working three days a week and making great money in tips, it never seemed to be enough.

  The faster the money came in, the faster it went out. I applied for other jobs, hoping to find something else to fill my free days, but no one ever called back. I even called to check on the job at Anna’s School of Dance with the hope I could get back into dancing, but she told me to try again in another month or so.

  A month.

  I didn’t have that kind of time.

  Adulting sucked.

  Most girls my age were living their dreams and enjoying the college life, but I didn’t have that luxury anymore. Then again, those girls didn’t have Tyson. You win some, you lose some.

  Tyson.

  Just saying his name made me shiver.

  He was with me every night, giving me so much pleasure I forgot about the stresses of money and daily life. Once Tyson came to my room, everything else went away. It was just him and me—our bodies and hearts—holding each other together. We sought relief in each other’s arms and won against our hard days. It was wonderful.

  In some ways, our life became normal again. I missed my parents more than I could put into words. We were still bouncing back from the blow of losing them, but we were making it work in our own special way.

  The world began to spin a little slower, and the future seemed to open up for me. And even though I wasn’t living my dream of becoming a dancer, I was definitely living my dream of being in Tyson’s arms.

  He kept me occupied. On the weekends when Brian was at Josh’s house and neither Tyson nor I was working, he’d take me on little adventures around Charleston. We’d go to the beach and stick our toes in the sand, or we’d grab something quick to eat from one of the street vendors and eat at Waterfront Park.

  We were dating while basically living together, and it felt like the happiest time of my life. Seeing his easy smiles and feeling his innocent touches as he helped me up the stairs or held my hand … It was perfection.

  We started eating Sunday dinners again. Sure, the dinners were smaller and nothing compared to what Mom used to cook, but we were young, and pizza was just fine.

  The only black spot on my happiness was the fact that I was lying about where I worked. The boys thought I was working at a downtown historical restaurant. They had no idea I showed a little ass cheek and cleavage while I waited tables at a strip club called Knockers three nights a week.

  At times, I wanted to tell Tyson just to get it off my chest, but every time I tried, I couldn’t. I knew how much he’d hate it, and I didn’t want anything to screw up what we had going.

  I had to work there, though. The girl at the interview had been right. Some nights, I walked out of the place with almost a thousand dollars in my pocket. Some nights, it was less than a hundred. It depended on the crowd.

  I learned how to handle the handsy customers, and even Jim, the owner, had commented on how well I picked up the job and its routines. The many years of dance and conditioning made it easier to maneuver my way through a crowded room while holding a tray full of drinks.

  They called me Angel.

  Apparently, my blond hair and blue eyes had earned me the name, and the customers seemed to love my innocence just as Jim had said they would.

  I was a tease in tight shorts and a low-cut top, and while some nights I left feeling dirty and broken—as if I’d fallen farther than I even knew possible, at least I wasn’t on the stage stripping naked for anyone. That was what I told myself to get through my nights.

  Not that I held anything against those girls. They were all really nice, and once I found out a few of them were mothers trying to feed their children, my outlook on the whole stripping thing changed quickly. These women weren’t dirty—they weren’t bad—they were doing what they had to do to take care of their children, and I understood that all too well.

  The entire situation wasn’t ideal, but it was what I had. Some nights, I even found myself laughing with the girls and having a good time. Seeing naked breasts became normal, and it was like it wasn’t even happening around me.

  I had things under control mostly.

  Sure, I was late on a few things, but everything got paid in my time. Homeowner’s insurance was a bitch, and I was having a hard time keeping the electric bill down with such a big house to heat and cool, but I made it work until we could sell the place.

  “Maybe Brian and I will come eat at your restaurant one weekend,” Tyson said at the dinner table the following Sunday.

  I almost choked on my taco before swallowing the chunk of food I was chewing and taking a sip of my water.

  I’d avoided this conversation so many nights. Lying had become easy for me, which I hated. When Tyson wanted to know why I was coming home so late from a restaurant that closed at eleven, I’d lie and tell him I had to stay behind and help clean.

  When I’d accidentally been busted wearing my booty shorts and a low-cut top, I’d lied and told him I’d changed into it after work for him. He’d taken me upstairs, pulled my shorts down over my hips, and took me from behind, turned on by thinking I was dressing sexy for him.

  Lies.

  They were beginning to rule my world, and I hated it. But the fact was I could never tell Tyson the truth about my job … at least, not anytime soon.

  “I’m pretty sure you guys would hate it there, but if you want to try the food, I’ll bring you some home.”

  This seemed to appease the boys for a bit, but I knew my lies were running short. I knew my luck would run out sooner or later, and the following Friday night, as I trekked across the room with a tray full of shots for a large group of guys, it did.

  THIRTY

  Tyson

  “I DON’T EVEN know your brother,” I said to Nate.

  We were cleaning up in the garage and getting ready to head out for the rest of the day. The Blind Tiger was closed for the night since Nate’s older brother, Lance, was having a bachelor party.

  He shrugged. “So what? It’s a bachelor party, you’re a guy, and you need a night o
ut, man. Just come with us. It’ll be fun.”

  “No thanks. I’m good.”

  I wanted nothing more than to go home, get a shower, and go see my girl. I knew she’d be working late again, but at least I could hang out with Brian since I knew how much he hated being in the house alone.

  “Dude, seriously? One beer, and then you can go.”

  I chuckled. “One beer?”

  “Just one.”

  I shook my head and tossed a wrench in my toolbox. “Fine, I’ll go, but one beer and then I’m out.”

  “See? That’s what I’m talking about.” He smiled. “Go home, shower, and meet us at the Tiger in an hour.”

  I wasn’t much for the bar scene, and I was trying to slow down with the drinking, but a few hours out with the guys and one beer wasn’t going to hurt anything.

  I shot a text to Brian, letting him know I’d be a little late, got a quick shower, and headed over to The Blind Tiger to meet up with everyone.

  “Holy shit!” Nate exclaimed from across the parking lot when I got out of my car. “I didn’t think you’d show.”

  He was standing next to his brother. I’d never met the guy, but it was obvious they were related. They practically looked like twins.

  After waiting for everyone to show, most of whom I didn’t know, we pulled out of the parking lot, and I followed as we headed to whatever bar they’d planned his bachelor party at.

  I hadn’t been to many of the bars around the area. Again, bars weren’t really my thing. But when we pulled into the parking lot, and I saw the flashing sign that said Knockers out front, it was more than obvious which kind of bar they’d chose to celebrate at.

  A strip club.

  I considered driving past when I realized where everyone was turning into, but because Nate was behind me, I knew he’d be pissed. Instead, I turned into the parking lot and got out of my car.

  “A fucking strip club, man? Really?” I said once Nate was at my side.

  “It’s a bachelor party, Ty. What did you expect?”