The Way Back to Erin

by Cerella Sechrist

  “The Moontide’s future is my decision,” Aunt Lenora said. “But Burke is right, Erin. You might not be able to save the inn, and you shouldn’t try to if you’re trying to keep something alive that is no longer here.” The warning in her words was unmistakable.

  “Aunt Lenora, this is my home. It has been for nearly fifteen years.”

  Aunt Lenora held up a hand. “If you believe you can do something to help the Moontide, then you have my blessing.”

  Erin smiled in triumph.

  “When would you like to hold this event?”

  Erin drew a deep breath and expelled it quickly as she said, “In two weeks.”

  “Two weeks?” Aunt Lenora blinked. “My, that’s soon.”

  “Well, the inn had a cancellation for that weekend, and we don’t have any other bookings, so I thought it might be a good time.”

  Burke didn’t bother pointing out how telling this statement was. They were in the midst of the busiest tourist season, and the inn had no stays on the books? That was bad. Very bad.

  “Erin, you have my blessing to hold your fundraiser, but that does not mean I’m not still considering Allan Worth’s offer.” She pushed back her chair and stood to her feet. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check on Kitt and that rascal of a dog.”

  An indent of worry appeared in between Erin’s brows as Aunt Lenora left the kitchen. Burke longed to touch the spot and soothe it away. She worried far too much. Wouldn’t selling the Moontide cure some of that?

  “I’ll help however I can,” Burke offered. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

  Erin made a face. “No, thanks. I think I’ll do better without your help.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  OVER THE COURSE of the next two weeks, Burke did his best to stay out of Erin’s way. She was a whirlwind of activity, making plans for the open house. Despite her insistence that she didn’t need his help, he made a few observations and took care of things without her asking.

  When he saw her frowning down at a loose board on the veranda steps, he waited until she was in the office and then went to work repairing it. When he overheard her asking Aunt Lenora about giving the gazebo a fresh coat of paint, he took it upon himself to go to the local hardware store, pick up a couple gallons of paint and do the job himself.

  She didn’t remark on these details—he wasn’t even sure she noticed—but he felt better for helping her out in these small ways.

  She kept herself so busy, coordinating with local businesses and arranging for advertising, that he sensed Kitt was feeling neglected. His suspicions were confirmed the afternoon before the open house was set to take place when he stepped outside with the intent of mowing the lawn and found Kitt seated in front of the shed door with Scout at his side. The retriever’s tongue was lolling dramatically in the summer heat, and Kitt was plucking at the tufts of grass he sat on.

  Burke immediately recognized Kitt’s mood based on his expression. He knew he’d worn the same face himself many times growing up, after he’d lost his parents.

  Burke figured the lawn could wait. He hurried back into the house, long enough to locate a Frisbee from the box of assorted outdoor games, and then returned to the shed.

  “Hey, there you are,” he greeted Kitt as he approached. The little boy looked up, seemingly startled that someone had thought of him in the midst of all the open house chaos. Scout stood, tail twitching, and greeted Burke with a lick on the hand. The dog still took care not to put too much weight on his front left leg, but Burke thought it might be habit more than any lingering injuries.

  “I thought we could head to the park and toss this Frisbee around. Scout probably would appreciate the exercise.”

  Kitt hesitated. “Don’t you have to help Mom?”

  “Nah, she’s got things under control. Besides, she wouldn’t want you to feel like we’ve forgotten about you.”

  This seemed to cheer his nephew a bit. He scrambled to his feet, and Scout let out a woof of approval. The three of them headed to the park, and Burke kept up a steady stream of conversation about the weather and stuff he and Gavin had done during the summers when they lived in Findlay Roads. Kitt didn’t say much, but he listened attentively. Scout trotted along beside them, never once straying from Kitt’s side.

  When they reached the park, they threw the Frisbee around for a half hour or more, though a lot of the time was spent wrestling the piece of plastic from Scout’s mouth. The dog seemed to think it was his job to intercept the disc before it reached Kitt, and both Burke and Kitt found the animal’s attempts hilarious. After they were both winded, and Scout obviously felt he’d conquered the game, they collapsed onto the grass and let the breeze from the bay cool the sweat on their skin.

  Kitt fell quiet again, and Burke sensed he was deep in thought, much as he had been back at the inn. Burke decided to feel him out about everything that was happening.

  “Do you know what all is going on right now? At the inn?”

  “You mean the wedding house?”

  Burke smiled. “There’s that. But do you know why your mom is having the open house?”

  “To help the inn.” Kitt fidgeted. “Lenny might sell it. And I guess it means we wouldn’t live there anymore.”

  Burke nodded and paused to scratch Scout’s belly. The dog was sprawled out on his side, panting happily. “How do you feel about that?”

  Kitt was silent as he considered the question. “I don’t know. I guess I’d miss it.” He paused. “Where would we live?”

  “I don’t know, buddy. But that’s not something you need to worry about. Your mom will take care of that.”

  He frowned. “But who will take care of Mom?”

  “I will,” he answered automatically, not even realizing what he’d said until it was too late.

  Kitt thought about this. “Would you be like...my dad?”

  The question struck Burke hard. Because the truth was, there’s nothing he’d like better. But Erin didn’t want him in that way, and he didn’t want to edge aside his brother’s memory to fill that role. Burke couldn’t be his brother, and he wouldn’t compete with his ghost.

  “No one can replace your dad, Kitt.”

  “I know. But you’re my uncle. You spend time with me, and you take care of Mom and Aunt Lenora. And you got me a dog. So you’re kind of like my dad. My Uncle Dad.”

  Burke grinned. “Uncle Dad? I kind of like the sound of that.”

  They sat in silence for a minute as Kitt absently stroked Scout’s head. The dog sighed blissfully.

  “I wish I remembered him more,” Kitt suddenly spoke. “Mom is sad, so I feel like I should be sad, too.”

  Burke frowned. “Are you really sad? Or are you just...pretending?”

  Kitt looked at him. “I’m kind of sad,” he said. “I’m sad for Mom. She still cries sometimes, at night, when she thinks I’m sleeping.”

  Burke’s stomach twisted at this insight.

  “I’m sad for Mom. Because she’s alone.”

  Burke tried to steady his emotions before replying. “She’s not alone, Kitt. She has plenty of people who love and care about her. She has friends and me and Aunt Lenora. Most important, she has you.”

  Kitt didn’t respond at first, and Burke didn’t press him. He began to pluck at the grass as he’d been doing back at the inn when Burke stumbled upon him.

  “I think maybe Mom is afraid to be happy. She thinks she’s not allowed.”

  “Why wouldn’t she be allowed?” Burke asked, his voice soft.

  Kitt shrugged. “Maybe it means she’ll forget my dad, that he’ll think she doesn’t love him anymore. But...Dad’s dead. So how would he know? Unless he’s looking down from heaven, like Aunt Lenora says.”

  Burke drew in a deep breath. Kitt’s questions weren’t easy ones to answer, but he underst
ood their source. He’d lost his own parents at a young age, and he’d been hounded by so many doubts and questions concerning the hereafter. He still didn’t have all the answers to those uncertainties, but he responded to Kitt as best he could.

  “There’s one thing I know about your dad,” he said. “He liked to see people happy. In fact, he’d do whatever he had to in order to make someone smile. So, if he’s looking down from heaven, I know that more than anything he’d want your mom and you to be happy again. I bet he misses you. But he’d know that you can’t be sad forever. You can miss him. I know I’ll always miss him. But he’d tell you that it’s okay to smile again.”

  Kitt looked at Burke, his expression sober. “I wish my mom would smile again. If she can smile, then I’m allowed, too.”

  And that’s when it made sense to him. Kitt couldn’t move on until his mom did. All this time, Erin had been worried about Kitt, when really she was the one who was still stuck in a state of grieving.

  Burke couldn’t help it. Despite the warmth of the day, he pulled Kitt onto his lap and hugged his nephew tightly.

  “Kitt, I want you to know that no matter what, if you ever need anything, you just tell me. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing. I’ll be here for you. Okay?”

  Kitt’s voice grew worried. “Are you leaving? Dad left a lot. And then one day, he didn’t come back.”

  And that’s when Burke realized something else. He’d never be able to stray far from Erin and Kitt. Even if he wasn’t meant to be in her life the way that he wanted, she mattered to him, and Kitt was his nephew. If he had to leave, for work or any other reason, he’d always find his way back to Findlay Roads.

  “Don’t worry. Even if I do have to leave from time to time, I will always come back.”

  “Dad was supposed to come back, too,” Kitt reminded.

  “I know, buddy. But I’m not your dad.” He felt the weight of this statement. Why had fate chosen Gavin and not him? Gavin certainly had brought more light to this world than Burke ever had. He’d been a husband, a father and a defender of his country. In terms of worth, Gavin far exceeded him. It should have been Gavin here, playing Frisbee with his son.

  But it wasn’t.

  “Hey.”

  Kitt met his eyes.

  “Your dad loved you. And if it had been up to him, he never would have left you and your mom.” Burke drew a breath. “And if it’s up to me, I’ll never leave you either. You got that?”

  Kitt nodded.

  “Good.” Burke stood to his feet. Scout rolled to a sitting position. “We should get back to the inn, see if your mom needs any help getting ready for tomorrow.”

  Kitt stood and pulled Scout up with him. “Uncle Burke?”

  “Yeah, buddy?”

  “I’ll never leave you either. Okay?”

  Burke’s heart swelled with both affection and sadness. If only his brother could have lived to see his son, to see how much Kitt had grown and what kind of man he would become.

  “It’s a deal.”

  * * *

  THE DAY OF the open house dawned bright and muggy, and Erin was already in the backyard as the sun came up, making sure the tables and tents were ready to be assembled for the event. Sweat pooled at the base of her back as she surveyed the lawn with a sense of uncertainty.

  So much of her future depended on this one day and whether she could prove that the Moontide might turn itself around. She didn’t even want to consider what life might look like living elsewhere.

  She had first come to Findlay Roads as a teenager, after her parents had separated. Her dad had been an army general, moving them around for years until her mom couldn’t handle it anymore. After the separation, her mom, having grown up nearby, moved her and Erin to the Findlay Roads area and rented an apartment for the two of them for a few years while Erin finished high school. Eventually, her parents reconciled, but by then, Erin was engaged to Gavin and remained in town to plan their wedding.

  That’s when she’d started living at the Moontide. It had been her home longer than any other place she’d ever lived. After years of moving from place to place, untethered and often lonely, as an only child and an army brat, the Moontide became her sanctuary. The thought of leaving it after so much time had passed caused a physical ache in her chest.

  But within the hour, she no longer had time to dwell on this past history as the locals who were participating in the event began showing up. Connor and Harper arrived first in separate vehicles loaded with food and warming stations for the event. Burke joined them, and they all pitched in, putting up tents and tables. Shortly after they began setting up, the bakery’s crew pulled up, followed by the bridal boutique and the musicians Erin had invited.

  As the morning wore on, she was tempted to ask everyone to form an orderly line. Everywhere she turned, someone had a question for her.

  Connor needed to know if she had more tables to accommodate the extra food he’d brought. The bridal boutique girls asked if they could switch their mannequins to the other side of the lawn so the dresses didn’t pick up the smell of food from the hors d’oeuvres table. But that required shifting the musicians, who had already set up their speakers and instruments using extension cords, over toward the bakery’s cake displays. To complicate matters, the early dawn humidity had turned into a midmorning swelter. Erin’s shirt was already clinging to her back, and they hadn’t even opened the inn’s grounds to guests yet.

  Not that there were any attendees to open for at the moment anyway. Despite her efforts to advertise the event, there were no long lines, eager for a glimpse at what the Moontide had to offer. Had she really thought there would be?

  It was fine, she decided. People would begin showing up soon enough. She refused to be deterred. This was her chance to prove to Aunt Lenora just how much promise the Moontide still held.

  “Where do you want these?”

  Erin turned to see who was speaking, but the face was hidden behind a very large, decorative potted palm.

  “Oh.” She glanced behind her. The local florist had already delivered their flowers for the event. Had they overlooked something? “Are you with Findlay Florists?”

  The palm shifted, and a face appeared. He looked mildly offended. “No. I’m with Online Flower Showers. I have a delivery for Lenora Daniels.”

  “A delivery?” Erin frowned, confused. She hadn’t invited any online florists to this event. The idea was to promote local businesses in conjunction with the Moontide. “I didn’t order anything.”

  “Well, somebody did.” He looked down. “Allan Worth? He sent a card. It’s in the pot.”

  He didn’t wait for Erin to say anything else but shoved the palm into her arms. “Just initial here.” He held out the clipboard for her to sign. Inwardly, she fumed but didn’t see how she could refuse the gift. She juggled the palm in one arm, scribbled her initials with the pen he provided and then turned, struggling with the large, ostentatious plant.

  Who did Allan Worth think he was? More important, how stupid did he think Aunt Lenora was? As if she’d fall for some cheap potted palm.

  Well, judging by the size and weight of the thing, she had an idea that it wasn’t so cheap after all. But she wasn’t about to have this overgrown monstrosity at her open house. Just as she was debating taking the palm outside to the curb, it was lifted from her arms.

  “Thanks.” She pushed one of the leaves aside and saw Burke through the foliage. “Oh. It’s you.”

  He didn’t react to this lackluster greeting. The truth was, she’d done her best to avoid Burke over the last two weeks, and she’d succeeded quite well, not having to exchange more than a handful of words with him. Until now.

  She shifted uncomfortably, wishing her stomach would stop doing butterflies. She didn’t want to react like this every time Burke came near. She couldn’t. She should have learned her
lesson years ago. One kiss, and her world felt upended. The conversation with Mrs. Cleary had set her straight. She and Burke could never be together. She’d known that, in her heart, all along, but hearing someone else speak those same doubts had served to reinforce her opinion. And it was easier just to avoid Burke than try to address her feelings.

  “I let the bakery lady into the kitchen,” he said. “She needed to wash a few things up. I hope that’s okay.”

  “That’s fine.”

  “Um...” He lifted the palm he was holding. “Where do you want this?”

  “The garbage would probably be the best place.”

  He arched an eyebrow. “Did you have a bad experience with a potted plant in your childhood that I don’t know about?”

  She quirked her lips at his attempt at humor. It felt like forever since he’d made a joke. “Not quite. But that particular potted plant that you’re holding came from Allan Worth. So I can’t say I’m keen on having it around.”

  She noticed a rectangle of white amidst the green and plucked it free. It was a card, sealed and addressed to Aunt Lenora. She was tempted to open it but knew that wouldn’t be right.

  “Who does he think he is?” She knew she shouldn’t be venting about this to Burke, but the knowledge that this “gift” had come from Allan, perhaps as a way to sway Aunt Lenora, grated. “He’ll probably expect Aunt Lenora to leave this plant with the property if it sells. He can display it in his precious clubhouse.”

  “Erin.”

  She shifted her attention to Burke. He looked distinctly uncomfortable. But then that wasn’t really unexpected since he wasn’t on board with keeping the inn. She appreciated that he wasn’t standing in her way and had even helped out with a few things over the last two weeks. But she didn’t mistake his efforts for acceptance of her plan. If it were up to Burke, Aunt Lenora would have signed Allan Worth’s offer on the same day he presented it to her.

  “I just wanted to tell you—”

  “Erin!”

  Her gaze moved to Harper, who had approached from behind Burke.

  “Do you have any food picks for serving the hors d’oeuvres? Connor forgot them. I can run back to the restaurant, but if you have any here, it would save time. Toothpicks will work fine.”