Spectral

by Duffy, Shannon

  “So what are you saying? That I should follow the rules you say instead? That you know what’s best for my life? That I’m a rule follower so I should just get with the program and fall in line like a good little soldier…no wait, what was it you said?” I put my hands on my hips. “Like a lost pup.” I clench and unclench my jaw before adding, “Yeah that was it.”

  “Take it easy. That’s not what I meant.”

  “And I did ask questions for your information—lots of them.”

  “But what about the answers? You didn’t get any, yet you went along…” His voice trailed off like he wished he never said the words.

  But I barely made them out. The cave walls started to blur, my vision clouded over. I walked to the entrance of the cave, desperately needing air. I slipped on a patch of wet rock, stumbling, and then leaned against the rock face a moment, its chilled, rough edges scratching my shaky hand. My stomach churned.

  “So which is it, Roman? I should have asked questions or I shouldn’t snoop around—shouldn’t be too aware?” My voice was mocking, and I couldn’t stop myself. “Seriously though, it gets a little tough to keep up, you know, for an innocent, stupid pup like me.” My mind swirled, the ground moving, and I jammed a hand into a fissure to try to steady myself.

  “Hey, I never said you were stupid, just—”

  “Just what? Naïve?” As soon as I said the word, I felt even worse. I mean, I was naïve, wasn’t I? Why did I play along nicely for so long? I should have insisted my parents tell me what was going on. But I tried, I reminded myself. He was right, but knowing that didn’t make me any less angry.

  My mind reeled with memories from the past. All the secret conversations, phone calls in the middle of the night, a locked door at every house that was strictly off limits…Wait. Locked doors? I’d forgotten about that. I wondered if my parents had one at our new house and I wondered more importantly, what its purpose was.

  What are they hiding?

  Roman came up beside me. “Jewel, listen.”

  My skin prickled as though someone threw a bucket of ice down my back. The fine hair on my arms stood on end as I watched Roman’s hand extend toward me in slow motion. All around, colors and sounds enhanced, amplified. What was once blurry became acutely vibrant.

  The screams of the sea gulls circling above the ocean reverberated against my eardrums. The ocean’s waves seemed to pull me as though a string attached them to me, my body swaying with the ebb and flow. I shifted my weight, the crunching of debris under my feet deafening. Leaning back, a fist of stone poked me in the back, and a small groan escaped my lips. I pressed harder into it trying to ground myself into the pain. You’re okay. Calm down.

  I spotted an old man about a mile down the beach wearing a head set and swinging a metal detector. His blue jacket shimmered unnaturally brighter, and the metal detector roared like a race car engine. Music from his headset whispered to me with a song I recognized as an old Barry Manilow song my grandmother used to play.

  My head spun and my stomach churned, threatening to bring up my breakfast, and through it all, I knew I didn’t want Roman to touch me. Not then. I was too mad. Too confused. I shot him a look as his hand reached out to touch my arm. He seemed to try, but something appeared to stop him. His fingers pressed against an invisible source. Roman’s face contorted, appearing confused as he looked down at his hand and back up at me. My body stiffened, and all sounds muffled as though I’d dove down beneath the waves still propelling me forward.

  My brain jumbled. The feeling of icicles down my back turned to flames licking up my body until my legs felt like liquid Jell-O. The edges of Roman’s face blurred until I couldn’t see him anymore. My legs collapsed beneath me and I crumbled into his arms just before everything faded to black.

  Chapter Eleven

  Screaming kids filled the pool, throwing Frisbees and balls, jumping off the diving board, and slipping down the slide. The scent of coconut sunscreen mixed with the strong aroma of chlorine filled the air. Mom and Dad relaxed at the cabana bar obliviously happy, drinking a fancy concoction with brightly colored umbrellas and cherries skewered through tiny plastic swords.

  “Catch me!” Jayden craned his neck out of the water as he struggled to swim toward me. The gleaming sunlight reflecting off the pool water lit up his face. His arms and legs thrashed wildly as he fought to stay above the water. His two missing front teeth only made him cuter as he grinned at me.

  It was a rare occasion that we got to go anywhere special, but this was Jayden’s sixth birthday, and he’d been begging to go swimming for like, ever. We’d been in Australia a couple of months, which was around the time my parents began to ease up again and feel a bit more safe. If only temporarily. It was that in-between time. Enough time had elapsed that they didn’t feel imminent danger, but not enough to where they felt it was time to move again. The in-between time was always the best.

  There are always moments in life where I wish I could make time stand still; let the minutes twirl a little longer in my mind to savor like cotton candy on my tongue. To let them linger long enough that the memories become like a tattoo on the brain. Ones that may fade slightly, but always remain. That way I could punch that library card of moments and draw on the memories more quickly on a rainy day. I called the in-between times ‘freeze frame.’ It was my mental note to myself to treasure the time.

  “Just a bit further, you can do it,” I encouraged as I backed away, clapping my hands. “Kick your legs hard, and remember the doggie paddle I showed you.” I held my arms out and mimicked a dog swimming in the water as I inched further back.

  He giggled, spluttering out water as he tried to control his arms and maneuver them the way I’d said, determination etching his face.

  But soon his super-sized grin slipped away. His head dipped under, back up, and under again.

  “C’mon, Ryder,” I called, using the current Aussie name Mom had chosen for him, as his head found the surface again.

  His hands pumped through the water but despite his efforts, his back sloped toward the bottom of the pool. His legs probably weren’t kicking hard enough.

  His head slipped beneath the water.

  Panic filled me, but my legs were leaden, as though someone was playing a cruel trick on me, strapping anchors to my feet. I willed my legs to move, but they wouldn’t budge, held tightly by whatever invisible force held me.

  I stretched my arms out toward Jayden, straining them until I thought I’d pop them straight from their sockets. “You can do it,” I called, as his head popped up into sight. “Kick your legs harder!” My heart thumped heavily against my ribs. I thought it would burst straight through.

  Then the unthinkable happened. His head sank under again. And it didn’t come back up. My heart stopped beating, and the kid’s laughter and yelling molded into one long, continuous scream.

  Since I couldn’t seem to move, I did the only thing I could think of. I sank below the water too. Jayden’s panicked face gleamed across the water from me. Ribbons of bright colors from the other kids’ bathing suits twirled, and the sun glistened above us, skimming the water like sparkling diamonds; chaos woven in with beauty.

  I tried calling to him but only bubbles trickled from my mouth, taking the remaining air I had left. I watched helplessly as he sank further down, willing my legs to move. But they didn’t. They wouldn’t. I was like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.

  My own lungs screamed for oxygen, but I struggled against it, not wanting to leave Jayden behind. Help. I’ll call for help. Why didn’t I think of that before?

  I began moving my arms to float to the top, a painful stitch in my side. It was the only part of my body that still seemed to work. Then there was a splash of water and a tall figure plunged into the pool.

  He swam straight for Jayden, grasping him by the wrist, pulling him to the surface. Relief flooded me as Jayden’s legs started kicking again. I scrambled to the top of the water and inhaled deeply.


  I recognized the man who’d saved Jayden. I’d seen him earlier sitting close by the pool, watching his little girl and his wife play. He wore cherry red swimming trunks with florescent green frogs. That, along with the mounds of hair covering his body that reminded me of the second coming of Chewbacca, was a dead giveaway. He sat Jayden at the side of the pool as Jayden coughed and cried.

  Miraculously, my legs worked again, and I swam to the side. I pulled myself out of the water and stumbled across the gritty concrete over to Jayden. “Thank you, Mister,” I managed as I kneeled beside my little brother.

  The man quirked an eyebrow at me. “Where were you?”

  “I, um, I,” I mumbled, as I wiped away Jayden’s tears, and rubbed his back with my other hand.

  Jayden cleared his throat. “My sister was getting my ball in the deep end. She told me to stay at the side of the pool ‘til she got back,” he said as he gripped my hand. “But I didn’t listen.”

  At that moment I didn’t know what to say. My mouth hung agape as I stared at Jayden. Here he was standing up for me when he could have drowned because of my carelessness. A lump formed in my throat. A mixture of guilt and adoration for my little brother grew inside of me.

  “Well ya need to listen to your sister, Mate,” the man scolded as he got out of the pool and patted Jayden’s shoulder.

  “Are you okay?” I asked Jayden as the man walked away.

  Jayden splashed his toes in the water and smiled up at me. “I’m fine.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

  “It’s okay.”

  “But it’s not okay, Jay,” I whispered as I shook my head, disgusted with myself. I wiped his hair back from his forehead as trails of white sunscreen trickled down the side of his face. “I’m your big sister and it’s my job to look out for you.” Tears welled in my eyes. Partly because I was so happy he was safe, partly because I felt so guilty for what happened, and partly because his love for me totally amazed me. “I promise I’ll never let anything hurt you again.” I wrapped my arm around him, tugging him to my side, and leaned down to kiss his wet head. “I promise…I promise…I promise…”

  “Jewel?”

  “I promise.”

  “What do you promise? Are you okay? Wake up.”

  I heard a voice, but it seemed miles away. I felt my hair being pushed back away from my face, and I opened my eyes. Roman gazed down on me, his eyes widened in obvious concern.

  I realized I lay on the ground, my head in Roman’s lap. I knew I’d dreamed about one of the worst moments of my life. My head throbbed, and pain seared behind my eyes. I pinched them closed again.

  “Jewel?” Roman called.

  The memories of earlier in the cave came flooding back, and I bolted upright. I brought my knees up to my chest, resting my head on them and turning to face Roman.

  “What happened to me?” I asked.

  “You passed out.” Roman twisted around and squatted, facing me. “I think you were reliving some bad experience or something, but I couldn’t wake you.”

  “Yeah, I was dreaming about something that happened a couple of years ago.” I shook the thought of Jayden’s near drowning away, grateful it was just a bad memory.

  “Well, it seemed pretty intense. You wanna talk about it?”

  With a deep breath, I told him what had happened with Jayden in the pool. It felt good to get it off my chest. “Unbelievable, right?” I asked when I finished. I was sure my face must have been several shades of red.

  “Those things happen, I guess.” He smiled and rubbed my shoulder. “Has it happened since then?”

  “Not often, I guess. But too often for me.” I closed my eyes and hung my head. “I seem to freeze when panic sets in.” My mind reeled with flashing images from the past. “Once we lived in a remote area where there was this old railway station. Trains didn’t run there much, and so my dad and I used to go there to hang out…you know, walk and talk. But one time while we walked on an empty track, I heard a train coming, I totally locked up. I watched like an idiot as the steam engine’s lights came right at me. But no matter how hard I tried to move my legs, they just locked up.” I rubbed my eyes, willing the images away, before opening them again. “Luckily my father was there. He snatched me off the track in time before I was squashed like road kill. I was only ten at the time,” I added so he didn’t think I was a total dork. I lifted my head and met Roman’s gaze.

  He cracked a slight smile. “A train track?”

  “Well the place was so cool, and my dad used to get the train schedule and when there were no runs on the agenda, we’d go have a little peace. It was our time. I liked those moments…at least until that incident,” I shrugged.

  “Well I’m glad you’re okay now. You had me worried there for a while,” Roman rubbed his forehead with both hands, like he had a headache or a lot on his mind. “I’m sorry. This is my fault.”

  “What is?”

  “Everything. You here like this. I shouldn’t have dropped those bombs on you like I did, but I thought since you already knew so much and nothing happened, that it would be okay.” He looked to the ground, then slowly back at me. “And I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

  I turned my head face down into my knees and shook my hair so it tumbled around both sides of my face like a curtain, concealing my embarrassment. I knew he was sorry for kissing me. He’d already said that. I just wished he didn’t have to remind me. I felt so inadequate, like roller blades with no wheels. Useless. I couldn’t save my brother. I couldn’t save myself, and Roman was sorry he kissed me. Life is perfect. Just perfect. My stomach twisted into knots.

  “Everything was like…so vivid,” I said, shoving those thoughts aside and remembering the moments before I passed out. “I could hear the music from the man’s headset down the beach. And—” I looked back up at Roman, searching his face for a reaction. “And you couldn’t reach me.”

  Roman sighed. “You’re getting some of your powers early. Except not fully and not without side effects.”

  Sweat prickled up on my palms. “Side effects?”

  Roman nodded once. “It’s not supposed to happen like this. I’m so sorry. You can’t handle taking on another witch’s endowment until you’re gone through your quickening. It’s just too much, too fast.” Roman clenched his jaw, picked up a small rock, whipping it out of the cave.

  I thought of how Roman tried to touch me and couldn’t, as if he was poking something that stopped him from reaching through it. “You mean I got your endowment?”

  “Not so fast, Genie.” He glanced over at me, his lip curling mischievously up at the side like he often grinned at me. He couldn’t help but look hot, even when he was worried. “I could still see you through that weak bubble of yours. I just couldn’t touch you. And it zapped your strength completely, which is why you fainted.”

  “Oh my God.”

  Roman’s eye’s widened. “What?”

  I slowly stood up and began pacing in circles. “I overheard my family talking about stuff recently. Weird stuff. About me.” I put my fingers on my temples, thinking. “My dad said if I was aware too soon, it would be in my mind—my um, consciousness.” I dropped my hands to my sides and faced Roman. “Yeah that’s what he said. And…and that things will start happening.”

  Roman walked over to me and hugged me. “I think you’re right. But calm down.”

  I leaned into him, heart thumping, “And Roman?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Dad said it would draw them in like a moth to a flame.” Roman stiffened. “I assume he meant the other covens who want me dead?” My voice came out shakier than I would have liked.

  “Try not to get worked up again. I think that’s what brought it on before, why you got all freaked out and fainted.” Roman inhaled deeply, and then leaned back, holding me by my shoulders. He looked into my eyes. “But that’s exactly why I need to get you out of Pomona Park to someplace safe.” He bit his lip and unease seemed to was
h over his face. Pulling me into his arms, he held me tightly again.

  I tilted my head up toward him and he put a strand of my hair behind one of my ears. His eyes grew soft like velvet. I hated that I liked him so much, and that he said he was sorry for kissing me. Obviously, he only wants me as a friend. If that. Maybe he’s just doing his job. His duty.

  As if reading my mind, he nuzzled his face into my neck and then whispered softly in my ear. “And, Jewel, I’m not sorry for kissing you. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” I leaned back and looked up at him smiling, my heart fluttering. He brushed the back of his fingers across my cheek. “But there are rules.”

  I groaned and rolled my eyes.

  “Listen, I know it sucks but I need to focus on keeping you safe,” he said. “Please understand that’s why those rules are in place. When I kissed you before, I got lost in you.” Roman released me from his embrace, but took my hand and began walking out of the cave, back toward the beach. The rain had stopped, and the wind had died down. Only the seagulls crying above the whispering waves searching for a catch sounded out. “Believe me, if it was just some stupid Augusti rule, I’d be all over you. I don’t care about lame rules. But you don’t realize the effect you have on me. I’m no good to you if I lose my focus.”

  I smiled up at him and squeezed his hand. He was right. It did suck that he couldn’t be with me, but at least what he said made sense—for now. And hearing him say I was beautiful—me, Jewel Rose—well that was like all the fairy tales I’ve ever read combined into one, coming true.

  But then I remembered Jayden. I tugged his hand back. “Wait. Where are you taking me? I won’t leave without Jayden.” I didn’t want to upset my parents or grandmother by disappearing, but I figured they could at least fend for themselves. They all probably had endowments I didn’t even know about. But Jayden on the other hand, well, I promised him I’d never let anything happen to him again. He was only eight, and he needed me. I needed him.