by Nammalwar
dart like kayal in a full pond
O let her live
that woman with dense curly hair
her love adorns the feet
of Kaṇṇan dark as heavy rain clouds
worshipped by the ancient ones
who live in the sky.
3
She Said:
Seeing
the gentle woman dear to the flute-playing cowherd
Seeing
goddess earth and Śrī
inseparable as his shadow
will it remain there or return to me:
my lonely heart followed the bird
of the king whose fiery disc
scorches like his cool lovely tulasī
that bird praised by the gods
that bird whose anger burns like fire.
4
She Said:
His bird already stole my lonely heart
now I have no heart left
for his cool beautiful tulasī
to steal.
O cool venomous māruta breeze
intruding here with tulasī
that adorns the hair of the one
who suckled the breast of the deceitful
demoness
my life shivers:
Is this your nature?
5
Her Friend Said:
At this time in this city
the cool breeze abandons its nature
forgets everything breathes fire.
Is it to ruin the lustre of the girl
whose broad eyes spill tears like rain?
She weeps for cool lovely tulasī
from the one dark as rain clouds
whose sceptre has bowed
this one time.
6
He Said:
Who is this girl
eyes broad as arrows
brows curved like bows
whose shy glance retreats from improper things
a gently swaying creeper?
She is death
mastered by the sceptre of the one
who destroys demons
who rides that swift bird
whose son is sweet Madana
Shelter your life in this world.
7
Her Friend Said:
Those are two dark strong bulls in the sky
drenching the world in their sweat
as they paw the ground and fight
or is it
the cool season in Tirumāl’s form
come to mock the suffering of those left behind?
I don’t know which it is
bound by terrible fate, I see this.
8
She Said:
If we consider all he does
listen to all he says
we will realize
the lord of the mountain deceives.
He who lifted the tall mountain
has left for Vēṅkaṭam’s cool tall hills
praised by the gods
to amass wealth:
his new resolve.
9
He Said:
O pretty creeper with flowers like gems
you are equal to the city in the sky
of the lovely lord who wields
an unyielding fiery disc
Who would leave you?
Are these eyes? Or
a dark neytal nestled in a bright lotus,
white pearl-like buds spill from the bright kuvaḷai.
O innocent fawn
your lips tremble like a tender leaf.
10
He Said:
O girls who are like creepers
of Māyōn’s Tiruvēṅkaṭam
you refuse to listen
when I speak of my disease.
Is it your lovely lips or your voices
crying ‘Ayyō!’ at the parrot
that destroy me?
I am ill-fated.
Tell me. It’s so hard to know.
11
He Said:
I’ve seen something rare today:
you are like Kaṇṇan’s celestial city,
yet one crosses vast distances in search of wealth
Lustrous pearls enough to buy the world
skin like pale gold
these large darting keṇṭai broad as the palm of my hand
are what one treasures.
12
She Said:
My jewel-like lustre fades
a thick dense paleness spreads all over me
the night is an aeon
and everything else is like this
such is the special wealth
bestowed upon my heart
bonded to Kaṇṇan’s cool lovely tulasī
my lord who wields the sharp disc.
13
She Said:
The reign of the blazing sun who alone rules the
sky ended.
Cool dark night spreads through the world.
Who can stop the cool breeze that comes bearing
tulasī
to stoke a love that brings only misery?
Who will protect my bangles?
O this aeon ravages me!
14
He Said:
Are her two eyes
spears that cut through me
or lovely fish that illumine my life
and don’t draw back?
Are they radiant arrows of divine Kāma?
Or are these enchanting eyes two kayal
searching for the city of the lord
whose form is a brilliant dark fire?
15
The Friend Said:
You stand there asking
‘Are your eyes kayal?’
‘Did an elephant come this way?’
You are a stranger. We don’t know you.
What words are these?
We have been here many many days
guarding the groves of the lord of Vēṅkaṭam
dark as rain clouds that have drunk the sea.
Do you know us?
16
She Said:
It becomes many many aeons
It becomes tiny tiny moments
When we are together
When he is away
O friend equal to Kaṇṇan’s celestial city
such is the nature of this wide dense night
with its many many tricks.
I become frail. May it prosper.
17
She Said:
Wide as vast pervasive night
and your great crashing waves
O sea, may you prosper.
Don’t erase the tracks of my beloved’s chariot
who left in dead of night.
Like an all-encompassing brilliant black sun
he reclines on his serpent
that lord a radiant black flame
rests on you, O sea.
18
Her Friend Said:
The clouds swallowed the sea, rose up
and the furious ocean pursued them
to recover what was left.
Is now that time when the sea swells
to swallow Kaṇṇan’s earth and sky?
Is it the season of storms?
Or lovely one
perhaps these are your tears
that rain like waterfalls to fill the sea.
19
The Mother Said:
In the season of rains
dark rain clouds stacked in the sky
call out in challenge
‘Who can guard a woman’s heart?’
The one who rides the bird
he doesn’t grant her his cool lovely tulasī
he doesn’t grant her a little grace
now the village gossips about my quiet daughter.
20
The Friend Said:
The great god causes this quiet girl’s disease.
It’s not the disease of the young god
who demand
s things to end it.
O Vēlan, stop now.
Mother, listen to me
Repeat the names of the one who swallowed the
seven worlds
adorn her with his garland of lovely cool tulasī.
21
Celestials in the sky
offer you pure perfect garlands anoint you with cool water
worship you with beautiful incense
you vanish by a trick
to scoop up and eat butter
to dance between the two sharp horns
of the humped bull
for the lovely woman of the strong cowherd clan.
22
The Friend Said:
In your hand you hold a leafy branch
you have no bow with which to hunt
yet you inquire about an elephant
you shot
Sir in this wide world
of that thief who rides the bird
no one speaks such things.
Is it to answer your odd questions
that we are here in this vast grove?
23
He Said:
I was passing by this grove.
My fate is terrible.
O women, tell me if you guard
my heart or this grove?
O you with eyes the colour
of a beautiful lotus grove
O you who are equal to the gods
who live in Kaṇṇan’s celestial city!
Is this your nature?
24
The Mother Said:
The disease—its nature is deception—
makes her eyes broad as one’s palm
seem like darting fish in a vast ocean.
Her heart is fixed on the honey-drenched tulasī
of the one who lifted the mountain
to guard his flock from the rain
that one who rides the bird.
What will happen to her beautiful bangles now?
25
She Said:
If my beautiful bangles make Kaṇṇan’s sceptre
which rules earth and sky
bend
what will it not do—that tulasī
dear to the king of valiant gods,
king of the heavens,
our king?
26
He Said:
O girl like gold, you crossed this wasteland
that the lovely fierce sun spat out
when he swallowed the four lands
and sucked them dry.
Look! Just beyond Kaṇṇan’s Veḥkā
where even gods come to pray
lie lovely cool flower gardens rich with honey
that give comfort no matter one’s state.
27
She Said:
‘A noble king’s grace makes even enemies friends’
people delight in this truth.
The northern breeze called out a challenge
breathed fire all the time
now it touches Kaṇṇan’s garland of lovely cool
tulasī
and is cooled.
28
She Said:
The cool lovely tulasī steals my bangles
I lose my lustre
The northern breeze wanders about
caressing me.
Grant me grace O lord of Tiruvaraṅkam
where even birds with sharp beaks
don’t torment snails in the bountiful river.
Has there been another to suffer like this?
29
She Said:
‘You two be my messenger. I have no one else’
yet without reply you and your mate
fly about the world of the great lord
whose dark body seems to swallow lightning.
O geese born in a clan with no virtues
is it the nature of a woman’s messenger
to be like this?
30
She Said:
O geese, O herons, flying above
I entreat you. Whoever arrives first
don’t forget
if you see my heart with Kaṇṇan
lord of Vaikuṇṭha
Tell him about me
Ask him why he hasn’t returned
Inquire if this is his nature.
31
She Said:
If I say ‘take my message’
they don’t answer.
If I say ‘wander above me’
will they obey?
O clouds, you bring bright lightning
to the lovely peaks of Tiruvēṅkaṭam
that glow with the radiance of gold and jewels.
32
She Said:
O clouds, what means did you use
to acquire a form like Tirumāl’s?
Tell me.
To protect life you wander the vast sky
your aching bodies bearing water
your painful vow
that earned grace.
33
The Mother Said:
You rule vast sky and earth
with your disc that bestows grace
Your sceptre destroys cruel fate
dark as night
Isn’t this woman worthy of protection?
Is she outside your dominion?
O lord who reclines on the serpent
We don’t understand.
Her beauty is destroyed.
34
The Friend Said:
‘This circle destroys me,’ she said
and kicked at it in anger
with her pretty feet.
She is resolved to wear your garland
of dense cool lovely tulasī
I don’t know what to do for this girl
who is now mad.
35
She Said:
Having lost the sun
the west wails cradling the moon at her waist
like a child, its mouth wet with milk
Such is the evening.
Those who love the tulasī
of the lord who measured worlds
have no relief
from the caress of the cold northern breeze.
36
She Said:
Now the endless long aeon arrives
using his cool garland as excuse
masquerades as the embrace
of deep swirling night.
Yet he remains without compassion.
He doesn’t say ‘Her suffering is long and endless.’
O mothers, such is the cruelty of the lord
who razed Laṅka’s tall mansions.
37
The Mother Said:
For many years I worshipped
Kaṇṇan’s glorious feet adorned with flowers.
I was blessed
with this tender fawn-like girl whose waist is slender.
I am ill-fated.
She’s taken the wide forest path
where hunters with curved bows
cattle rustlers murderous bandits
and fleet-footed youth beat drums
like the gossip of village women.
38
She Said:
You abandoned the forest
entered the pond to stand
on one foot.
O blue water lilies
is it from such penance
that you now have the form of the one
who danced with pots
who measured earth and sky
made them tremble
great lord who dances?
39
She Said:
Gleaming like a large lake of lotuses
on a dark vast mountain—
lord of this world bound by surging oceans
lord of the sky lord of the virtuous
that dark lord
my lord
I see the beauty of his eyes everywhere.
40
She Said:
O mothers richly adorned,
the beautiful bull-like sun hides behind the mountain
dark night spreads everywhere
like a herd of elephants.
When will I adorn my curly hair
with the tulasī
from Bhū and Śrī’s beloved
O mothers, when will he glance at me?
41
She Said:
I know this lowly breeze from experience.
This time the suffering it inflicts is new
I don’t know its form its special mark.
At this time that lord who rides the bird
destroys demons
but doesn’t grant me grace.
The cruel breeze stays in the public square
to heap blame upon me.
42
She Said:
They gleamed
like tender lotuses blooming in a pond
swaying gently in the breeze
on their tender stalks.
‘Look, my feet measure beyond earth and sky’ he said
and touched the sky
I have surrendered to my lord
who glanced at me with his large radiant eyes.
43
She Said:
His eyes are red lotuses
His hands are red lotuses
His feet are red lotuses
His body is like a big dark mountain
Can those with great intellect or
those who crossed the sky or the gods
or even those who live beyond them
apprehend the beautiful form
of my lord?
44
She Said:
The texts of philosophy may speak
of his colour his ornaments his beauty
his names his forms …
although they hold aloft
the bright light of lofty knowledge everywhere
they still cannot see
the greatness of my lord.
45
She Said:
That large boar fixed his large lotus eyes upon me
in this terrible time
can there be anyone as blessed as me?
Tell me and live long, innocent heart,
can this swirling life, old and deep,
touch me again?
46
She Said:
Some send their heart as a messenger
to do their bidding
thinking ‘It’s an innocent heart, it’s my heart.’
They should abandon such notions.
My steadfast heart left to place a message
at the feet of the one
who ripped the broad chest of the golden one
but it abandoned me, wanders even now.
47
Her Mother Said:
The cool northern breeze wanders.
The moon breathes white-hot fire
other things act the same.
Her refuge is Kaṇṇan’s Vaikuṇṭha
her conch bangles grow loose.
She desires the cool lovely tulasī
paleness spreads over her skin.
Now what will happen to my tender girl?
48
Little worms that live in a wound
do what they do.
What do they know of the world?
I learned these songs from that cunning Tirumāl
who uses me to sing of himself.
It’s like people making meaning
from the chirp of a lizard.