The Dark Witch

by Tabitha Scott

  “What’s that? Is that real?” I ask, I’m shielding my eyes from the light. It looks a bit like the Witch of the Year cup, but it’s lighter, part of it is made of glass, and the frame is gilt.

  Teddy hands me a coffee. “Thank God.” Did I just say that? Thank, grandma, there, that sounds better.

  After I’ve taken a sip, I ask again. “What is that?”

  “Yeah,” Pulania adds, “you’ve had us waiting here for ages for Amura. What is that thing?”

  “Ditto.” Ardan puts in from a second sofa that he and Susan are reclining in… without hangovers. Oh, what sacrifices we made for them.

  Teddy does some sort of hand flourish, oh, just get on with it. He grimaces at me.

  “Okay, I’ll cut the fanfare, but this is something really special. It’s just for Amura, I’m afraid.” I look up at that. “It’s because she has some angel blood, there was actually a fair bit of debate about her status, but in the end the wings made it clear. And you should know,” he’s looking at me, “your father fought hard for you on that point.”

  Now that has my interest. “What is it?” I ask again.

  “It’s… the Angel of the Year Cup.”

  “What!” I think most of us say in unison. Gil’s just rushed off to the washroom to throw up, but Teddy has the undivided attention of the rest of us.

  “What the ficketty feck are you talking about?” And then I notice that there’s a shadow at the side of the room. It’s fainter than when I’ve seen it before. “Is that my father over there?” I ask.

  Teddy looks over to the part of the room I’m nodding toward. “Yes, it is. He wanted to be here.”

  “But I can just barely see him.”

  “That’s because death is far away,” Teddy answers.

  Pulania is looking over there too. “Wave for me, Amura. I’d be more excited, but there’s a drum beating in my head.”

  I wave and smile, I can only see a bit of a shadow though, I can’t tell if there’s any reaction.

  “Oh! Tell him we have a date. Next Thursday, 7 pm,” Pulania continues. “Tell him he should bring his own death.”

  “I think you’ve just told him that yourself, Pulania,” I answer.

  “Oh. Oh, yeah.”

  “Back to the very exciting cup on the other side of the mantel…” Teddy prompts.

  “Hmm, so how the heck did I manage that?” I ask him, I mean, how the heck did I?

  “Well, funny you should ask, heck actually had nothing to do with it. It has to do with the disease you and Pulania created.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, sorry Pulania, we tried for you too, but you were disqualified because of your family connections … to god.”

  Pulania just shrugs. Did I see the shadow at the side of the room shrug too?

  “It turns out,” Teddy continues, “that the increase in world population has created a great deal of hardship, particularly among the poorer parts of the earth. The angelic host has been searching for a means of … curtailing world population growth, without war, or famine, or pestilence. And guess what, you guys hit the jackpot!”

  “Yeah, us!” Pulania swings her finger around in the air, I can’t tell whether she’s being sarcastic or not, she’s so hungover that it might be all the enthusiasm she can muster.

  “Wait a second.” It’s Susan. “Why isn’t their disease counted as pestilence?”

  “Well,” Teddy answers, “good of you to ask, technically, for pestilence you have to have death, and in this case, there isn’t any. This is actually going to create a great deal of sympathy and good will. Orphaned children will be adopted from third world countries, and if the ‘phage’ makes it into the third world, we can expect a reduction in the pressure on resources. The world will be a better place.”

  “Well, I never.”

  Funny how things can be seen. I’ve managed the two trophies for pretty much the same thing, a disease that will sterilise millions. But then, something occurs to me.

  “Hey, is there a prize that comes with that cup?” I ask.

  Gil, slithers back to her spot, lying on the floor in her death pose.

  “A prize?” Teddy asks.

  “Yeah, for witch of the year we get a two week all-expense paid trip to Bermuda. “

  “Really?” he asks.

  “Really.” I reply.

  “Hey, does that include me?” Gil asks.

  “Yep. You’re on the cup, you’re in.”

  “Yeah.” A weak cheer comes from her pickled body.

  “Ummm,” Teddy hesitates.

  “So, no.” I add to Teddy’s ‘um’.

  “No,” he confirms, “isn’t doing great good, enough?”

  “Ahhhh, no,” I reply, maybe it’s because I’m hungover, but I’m a bit underwhelmed. Poor Teddy, I can see he’s a bit deflated by my reaction.

  “I’m going to the washroom.” My bladder is about to burst.

  Thanks to the coffee, and the lack of a great bloody brass cup, I’m a bit steadier on my feet going up the stairs than coming down. When I get to the washroom, I notice that no one has put the the pee and see box away. It’s just sitting there, staring at me. Oh well. I may as well pee and see.

  After I finish, I wait the sixty seconds it says to wait for on the box.

  “Oh my.” I straighten up when the result comes in. “Well… ficketty feck.”

  I make sure I don’t make Susan’s mistake, and take the test strip with me.

  Chapter 48: Thanatos Moerae

  I think he must be off sulking somewhere. I haven’t seen Teddy for a few days now. Well, it is a bit stingy of the heavenly host. Imagine not providing a bit of something besides the cup. They probably recycle that too! Maybe I’ve only got it for the year. I better take a picture otherwise I’ll never be able to prove I had it. I wonder if maybe I can hock it at the end of the year? Looking at it, I think that gold isn’t just a gilt layer, I think it’s solid, it might be worth something. Maybe I can get it assessed. There might be a trip to Greece in this yet.

  “It’s gilt,” Pulania says, “I’ve already scratched a bit off the back. It’s not worth much of anything, sweetie, we may as well leave it there.”

  “Damn.”

  “Don’t let Master hear you say that.”

  “Well, he’s absent without leave, isn’t he? What he doesn’t know, he can’t complain about.”

  “Oh, he probably knows,” Pulania comments.

  “Yeah, maybe. But he’s still not here.”

  We’re just sitting on the sofa looking at the two cups.

  “What time is our date?” I ask Pulania.

  “Our date? Samael and my date, thank you very much.” Pulania shifts about on the sofa.

  “Oh, and who are we using as an interpreter, pray tell?” I needle.

  “Ahhh… yes, well that would be you. But if we can get that second white board going without burning it to a crisp you’re out of here, kid.”

  Humph, we’ll see.

  That angel cup is actually twisted off centre a little. I guess Pulania didn’t quite put it back in place when she tested the gilt. I stand up and saunter over to the mantelpiece, putting my hands on the cup I can feel a tingling. Then ficketty feck! Major vertigo. There’s lots of light and movement, it’s like a thousand images have passed my eyes in a fraction of a second, and then where am I? This isn’t the sitting room.

  “No, Daughter of Light, this is my garden.”

  Around me is a forest, but not a forest like any other I’ve ever seen before. “These trees must be hundreds of years old.” They’re a good six or seven metres across at the base, they’re like giant redwoods or something.

  “Thousands, tens of thousands.” It’s my grandmother, Gaea.

  “How did I get here?”

  “Well, Daughter of Darkness, you were correct, there is no prize with the Cup of the Angels, but there is further hardship.”

  “Huh?” Like what the ficketty feck?

  Gae
a is growing a fern at the base of one of the incredibly majestic trees that surround me. She looks up and her eyes have sprouted with surprise.

  “Ficketty feck may not be an appropriate thought to aim at your all hearing grandmother. That aside, what would life be without a bit of struggle.”

  Can’t argue that. I think she’s adding moss to the base of the fern.

  “Ummmmmmm,” I intone.

  “What are you doing here?” She repeats my question for me. “Yes, I can see how that would be a question. Hmmm.”

  She’s moved off to the other edge of the clearing we’re in, and I think she’s growing more moss.

  “It’s lantana, sometimes you have to add a few weeds where other plants won’t grow.”

  Okay, got that wrong.

  “So… how did I get here?”

  “Oh yes, it was the cup, I may have provided a little something when I was presenting it to some group of angels or other. After all, it’s nice to have a little special time with family.” She’s standing up and looking at me.

  She drops down and begins doing some more gardening. “Samael, your father, has always done… difficult things for me. His has been a hard road.” She’s hesitating. “For his daughter it cannot be easier, you will be called upon to do difficult things as well.”

  My mouth is open at that, I mean, how do I reply to that?

  She looks up at me, “but not without help, or reward. There may be no trips to Greece, but there may be… satisfaction.” She’s digging around with a trowel. “I have… problems to be solved. Your father has helped me with some of those, but there are more now, many more.”

  She’s leaning back on her haunches, and looking at me. “I think you can help me, Amura. There are many tasks to be done. Protecting your aunt, Susan, is one of those, but there are other things that angels cannot do. You are Thanatos Moerae, and that is what is needed.”

  “Um, I thought I was a fury?”

  “No Amura, you are Thanatos Moerae.”

  “Okay… that might be cool.” What the feck is Thanatos Moerae?

  Gaea is laughing. “Thanatos Moerae is deaths fate. Thanatos is Greek for death, or deathly, and Moerae is a name for your cousins, the fates. It is a fitting title for a daughter of Samael, and a granddaughter of my own.”

  “Mmm. A bit wordy though, ‘hey everyone, I’m a Thanatos Moerae’ plus fifty minutes of explanation.” Difficult.

  “Thanatos fury. A deathly fury?” She suggests.

  Mmm, people know what a fury is, I could explain the thanatos bit, or just cut the name down to ‘deathly fury’. That works for me. Smiley face.

  “It is not just a title, Amura. It is a role in life. You are called to be Thanatos Moerae, as your father was called to be the Angel of Death.”

  Well that’s foreboding.

  “When you touch the cup you were given, you will be drawn here to me. Do not touch it frivolously, you will be called by compulsion to touch the cup when the need arises.”

  “When the need arises? That’s… ominous.”

  “Yes child, you are more than a guardian of the daughters of Gaea, you are the left hand of Gaea, the hand that strikes, the knife that protects. Where good cannot prevail, or where it is not of use, the Thanatos Moerae may be welt, it is your birthright.”

  I’m a bit stunned by that. “No free will? Do I have any choice in the matter?”

  “There is always a choice, child. The question is, will you follow your yearnings?”

  The light of Gaea’s garden fades into darkness, and the next thing I know I’m waking up on the floor of the sitting room.

  “Amura, Amura.” Pulania is yelling at me, and slapping my face. My head is in her lap, and I’m lying on the floor beneath the mantelpiece.

  “Don’t do that.” I grab her arm to stop her.

  “Thank Gaea. You fainted, I couldn’t get you to respond. And then, before that… before that, you disappeared altogether. You weren’t even in the room.”

  I’m blinking my eyes, trying to take in everything that’s just happened.

  “Do you know what Thanatos Moerae is Pulania?”

  Pulania shakes her head. “No, what is it?”

  “I think it’s me.”

  Chapter 49: The Black Rose

  The girls have gotten me a cup of tea to calm me down. I might have preferred a gin and tonic, but this will do. Magiks have definitely had an upswing in my life in the last few weeks.

  “Amazing shizz,” was all I could say to Pulania when she first asked me what happened.

  She’s explained to the others that I just disappeared in front of her eyes.

  “Where did you go, Amura?” Gil asks.

  For a while I contemplate whether or not I should answer, but then I decide that there’s no point in keeping things to myself. “I’m not really sure, a garden somewhere, with really big trees, like those giant sequoias they have in California. Gaea was there, and… and she called me the Thanatos Moerae. Apparently she may want me to do things for her from time to time.”

  I pause for a bit. “I guess whenever I touch the cup, this is going to happen.”

  Pulania is rubbing my shoulders as I speak, she hesitated a little when I mentioned Gaea, I can almost feel her contemplating what I’ve said.

  “Who’s coming for a night out!” The front door has just been opened and Master is calling out from the threshold. Our heads all turn in the direction of his voice, which has a slight English twang to it.

  As he rounds the corner eyebrows are raised. Before us is a thirty something punk rocker straight out of the 1980s, with skin tight leather pants, a dark polyester shirt and overdone Mohawk hairstyle.

  “Master?” Pulania asks me.

  I nod, “it’s him.”

  “Hey, rule number one, buddy, no unfamiliar bodies. Remember?” Pulania eyes off the latest Master.

  “Sorry, special occasion, we’re all going out for a night on the town, care of the angelic host.”

  Ooo, that’s got my attention, I straighten up.

  “We can’t,” Pulania complains, “I’ve got a date with Samael in about an hour, and Amura has to act as interpreter.”

  “The venue has been changed, Samael will be there waiting for you when we arrive.”

  “Is this in place of the trip to Greece?” I ask.

  Teddy just winks at me, but he’s not saying a word.

  “We’re not going to Greece, are we?”

  “Ah, that would be a no, but you’ve got about an hour to get yourselves partied up.”

  “All of us?” I ask.

  “Yes, everyone.”

  Say no more, with that we launch ourselves towards bedrooms and bathrooms. We need clothes and makeup!

  ***

  Being magically inclined, it only takes me ten minutes to get ready, Pulania is pretty quick too. Ardan, is just coming as he is, apparently. Guys take no time at all. Susan and Gil take a bit longer, so Pulania and I spend our time taunting them as they prepare. In less than twenty five minutes we’re all ready to go.

  “Okay, that was a bit quicker than I thought you’d be, but I guess we can go early,” Teddy comments when we assemble in the hallway near the front door.

  He leads us outside and down the magikal path, I’m not exactly sure where he’s taking us, at first, but when we arrive there’s no mistaking it. We’ve come into an alley in the most run down part of Pittsburgh. We’re across from the River Pitt, only, it’s not the River Pitt any more. It used to be a decrepit, almost derelict looking building in the back lots of the Allegheny river but now it’s been transformed.

  In the two weeping willows I’d grown at the front of the building last time we were here, there are fairy lights throughout. There are tables and chairs all underneath the branches, with outdoor gas heaters scattered between them. Some fifteen or twenty people are outside having drinks and food in front of what looks like one of the trendiest bars in town. They aren’t the normal dregs who frequent here either,
there’s hipsters everywhere, and people dressed in weird clothing from a couple of decades ago.

  The building has been repainted, and a wooden sign is hanging out the front proclaiming the place to be ‘The Black Rose, House of the Two Witches’. Above the sign there’s even a mural of two kickass promiscuously clad witchy bitches casting what appears to be bits of light against a flight of ravens.

  Pulania, Gil, Susan and I are all stunned. This isn’t the same place we’ve been to before, is it? From inside I can hear music. This place is rocking.

  “It’s Thursday night. Thursday night is eighties and nineties retro night,” Teddy explains. And that also explains his 1980s ‘punk’ body. “Come on.”

  As we walk towards the front of the pub, two men, partly hidden by the crowd, rise up from one of the tables out the front. Gil immediately breaks away from us with a squeal of delight to be gathered in Jonathon’s arms. But it’s the other dude who’s given Pulania and I pause.

  “Oh my.” Is Pulania’s only reaction, as she stands there like a stoned mullet. It’s Samael, and she can see him as plain as any other person here.

  Then something occurs to me. “Do you have knickers on?”

  “What?”

  “You don’t do you? You magik some on right this minute. You’re not seeing him until you do.”

  Pulania stares daggers at me. “Alright then, little miss prim and proper.” She grimaces, a second later, and she’s pulling at her dress a bit.

  “Good. Right, you’re set. Go see him.” I smile at her as I nudge her forward. “Just go with it, Pulania. There’s no point in questioning things like this.”

  Teddy puts his arm around my waist and together we watch as Pulania wanders down toward Samael. She’s tentative, unsure of herself, but as they meet, Samael just takes her in his arms and hugs her. I think she’s crying again, she seems to do that an awful lot for a dark witch.

  “Is this part of the prize?” I ask Teddy.

  “Yes, it was pointed out that Samael has never won the Angel of the Year, and yet he’s had to do some of the dirtiest jobs that any angel could ever be asked to do.”

  “And I wonder who pointed that out to the angelic host?” Teddy just winks at my question.